


Chuck Vs. The Night Shift

by justmyluckiness



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:52:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 133,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmyluckiness/pseuds/justmyluckiness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tiny shift early in canon: instead of not having anyone to talk about the turmoil of his new life, Chuck discovers a sympathetic confidant. How does this affect all events? Seasons 1-3 AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was born out of watching the first two seasons of Chuck, seeing him endlessly complain about not having anyone to talk to who knew about both sides of his new life. I wondered how the story lines might change if he did have that shoulder to lean on. One tiny change affects all outcomes. 
> 
> This is fanfiction, so of course I'm not making any claims of ownership of the show, characters, plots, or settings. I'm just borrowing them for a bit :) 
> 
> Also posted at fanfiction.net

**Prologue**

_October 17, 2011_

The door clicked shut behind the exhausted woman. She walked slowly into her condo, dropping her bags off beside the door and setting her mail down on the granite counter in the kitchen. Her keys fell out of her handbag and the resulting clatter echoed loudly through the empty apartment. Pulling a bottle of water out of one bag, she took a long drink to re-center and refocus her mind. The last seventy-two hours were the most chaotic she had ever experienced. She sighed, feeling the intensity of the physical fatigue from traveling back to DC compounded by the emotional fatigue from being yanked out of the field.

She slid to the floor against the refrigerator before bracing her elbows on her knees and cupping her head in her hands. Her career was at its nadir. After two wounded partners, two dead marks, and one asset captured by a foreign intelligence agency, even she was willing to admit something was wrong. The Director made all the right noises for her recall, calling it a promotion, saying it was time to pass on her knowledge to the next generation of agents, and other empty platitudes, but she knew the truth: she was washed up. Before California, her career was an unbridled string of successes. After California, she suffered one failure after another. California was the catalyst.

A decade in the field left her with plenty of regrets. People she wished she hadn't had to kill, marks she really wished she hadn't had to seduce, and governments that in retrospect didn't need toppling. However, there was one regret that had haunted her for three years. Whenever the world got its darkest, whenever she felt her loneliest, whenever she hated herself the most, she remembered his eyes and his smile. It made her heart ache with a sweet throb. Leaving him behind had been the hardest thing she'd ever done. She still missed him. She missed the family and friends that became hers over the years she was with him.

She reached into the bag again and pulled out a tattered, faded photograph of herself with him from better times. They looked genuinely happy together, and the candid nature of the shot captured genuine adoration on his face. The photo was lined with the folds and creases of many a hard trip. No matter the cover, no matter her mission, this photo traveled with her.

It was her touchstone on many a cold, empty night. She would pull it out and trace her fingers over his face, wishing the colored paper were flesh and bone, so she could make up for lost time. More often than not she ended those nights clutching the tattered memory to her chest and sobbing herself to sleep.

_Maybe now I can go see him_ , she thought to herself as she gently laid the photo onto the counter. Her new duties weren’t supposed to start for a few weeks. The Director himself had given her a month’s paid leave to get her head on straight. _Will he still want to see me? If I throw myself at his feet and beg, will he forgive me? Will he even open his door?_

With a sigh, she reached for the stack of unopened mail and began sorting. She picked up the first – a small, padded envelope. Opening the flap, she shook out a thumb drive with a small note taped around it. She unfolded the paper and read, "Sucker." Shrugging, she took the drive and after finding and booting up her laptop, she connected the drive.

The only file on the drive was a video, which she double-clicked to start playing. It was somewhat grainy surveillance footage, but as the file played, she recognized details. A ball of anger formed in her stomach. Someone hated her enough to send her footage of the night her world collapsed. She was about to close her laptop when at the very end of the clip was something she never expected to see.

_Oh shit._

He never lied to her. He was telling the truth and she abandoned him because of her own fears. Her heart told her to trust him – that someone like him couldn’t change that much, but her head overruled her instincts and she ran. The last two years of her life – the loneliness, the anguish, and the near-constant second-guessing her decision to leave him were all a waste. _Two years of my life and possibly the rest of my career were shot to hell because I wouldn't listen to my heart and trust him._

With her mind made up that she had to go find him and make things right, she moved to book her airfare to Los Angeles when the next item on the mail pile caught her eye. It was a thick, heavy envelope slightly larger than a normal greeting card. _Who in the world would think to send me a wedding invitation?_ She gasped at seeing the handwritten name on the front –a name that had a very specific association in her mind. She opened the envelope and removed its contents in growing haste as her fears kicked into overdrive. After taking out the inner envelope, she ripped through to find the invitation itself.

The papers fell out of her nerveless fingers and onto the counter. _No. It can’t be. It’s impossible. Is it? What if it’s real? What if they really are getting married? I have to get there before it happens!_

She glanced around her condo in desperation before making up her mind. There was still time. She reached for her laptop and booked herself on the next flight to Chicago before running a quick search to find an address. _I can still stop this. I can still make this right. I can still fix us._ She grabbed her still-unpacked bags and sprinted out the door.

***

_Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Fiona Callaghan_

Request the honour of your presence

At the Nuptial Mass when their daughter

Tara Marie Callaghan

Will be united with

Charles Irving Bartowski

Son of Stephen and Mary Bartowski,

In the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

At three o’clock in the afternoon

Saturday, October the Twenty-second, Two Thousand Eleven

St. Mary of Perpetual Help, Chicago, Illinois

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the catalyst is introduced: Chuck discovers a sympathetic ear for the turmoil of his new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The usual disclaimers apply; I don't own them, just taking them out to play for a while.

**Chapter 1**

_"I need you to trust me, Chuck."_

_"Bryce Larkin, her boyfriend?"_

_"It was complicated."_

_"I thought you were supposed to be good at lying."_

***

The cabin staff avoided seat 1A like the occupant was diseased, which was fine with her. Her trip to California had been an unmitigated - well, maybe not totally unmitigated, she thought with a sly grin - disaster. That nerd Sarah was pretending to date was cute enough to make the trip worth something, but the thought of Sarah made Carina groan and roll her eyes. Sarah had played her! She should have expected something like this from the CIA agent but given how long she'd been Sarah's friend and partner, she hadn't and now her mission objective was being FedEx'd - which was something like a sitcom plot device - to CIA headquarters, not to her office at the DEA.

This failure wasn't going to enhance her career at all, especially given DC interagency politics. At least she'd managed to do one last thing Sarah would never expect before she left and, with any luck, that little bit of subterfuge would give her revenge in two ways: she'd take what Sarah wanted and have a bit of payback for Sarah stealing her diamond.

Head cradled in one hand, she finally turned to a flight attendant and asked for two miniatures of bourbon and a glass with ice. Hopefully something good would come out of this fiasco, given enough time and planning.

***

The cool plastic of the steering wheel pressed into his forehead as he leaned heavily onto it for support. In a few short weeks his life had gone from pointless to meaningful, but meaningful in a way that no one would ever know. Then there was the whole element of danger that may or may not have significantly shortened his life span. The coolness of the vinyl brought no peace to his troubled thoughts.

Chuck leaned back in his Herder, taking inventory of his new life. Thinking about his current situation, he was adrift. Sarah had asked for his trust, then turned around and lied about the one thing she should have been honest about. He couldn't tell his best friend, sister, or her boyfriend anything about his new life without potentially subjecting them to torture if the bad guys figured out what Chuck had become and used them to force him to surrender.

He ran his hands through his curly hair in exasperation. Talking to his handlers was out. Casey would most likely just grunt and roll his eyes if he tried to talk about how everything going on in his life was affecting him. And Sarah? Sarah had just proven her concept of trust was a one-way street. Needing to talk yet having no one to talk to, the only time Chuck ever felt more alone was immediately after Stanford.

Then there was the whole issue of how pointless his life seemed to be, dating-wise anyway. In the five years since Jill, there had been no one and, just when things started looking up, it turned out the girl he was "dating" was sent to be essentially a government babysitter. He couldn't date anyone else because then there would be no reason for Sarah to stick around. Since they had to at least appear to be dating, he had to be the dutiful boyfriend, which meant cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. It was torture because none of it was real. Feeling like the oasis he thought would save him was nothing more than a mirage, he pounded the steering wheel in frustration.

His head snapped around at a series of soft knocks on the Herder's window.

"Chuck? What are you doing sitting in your car?" Ellie's face was etched with concern.

Chuck rolled down his window. "Hey, sis. I was just sort of enjoying the quiet for a minute. Work was...intense today." _Both jobs_ , he thought to himself.

"Well come in and relax on the couch with Devon and me. It's chilly out tonight. Come on, Chuck. I'll make you some dinner if you're hungry."

_Wow, she must really be worried if she's ready to whip up some food_ , Chuck thought. _She only gets that mothering when she's concerned about my life. I just wish I didn't have to lie to her about what's really going on._

He sighed and dragged himself out of the car, resigned to facing another evening of lying to his sister and her boyfriend. Ellie held the door open for him, wrapping her other arm around her stomach, illustrating how chilly she thought it was.

Chuck walked into the living room ahead of his sister, seeing her boyfriend sprawled out on the couch, still in scrubs from his own day.

"Captain, how's it going?" Chuck greeted as he took in the doctor's tiredness.

"Rough shift, bro; I had a really tough surgery. He totally pulled through, but it was intense for a while."Ellie, standing behind the couch running her fingers through her boyfriend's hair, beamed with pride at Devon's recounting of his skills.

_Maybe Devon would be someone to talk to_ , Chuck mused. If he can repair a heart – literally – maybe he has some experiences that could help sort through my crazy life.

"Something on your mind Chuckster?"

"How…how can you tell?"

"You were staring at the coffee table like it held cheat codes for one of your new video games. Dude, if there's something you need to get off your chest, who better to talk to?"

Chuck stared in surprise at Devon's insight. _Maybe he reads minds as well as fixes people._ "All right Devon, I guess I really could use some advice right now."

"Lay it on me, bro. The doctor is in." Devon unclipped his hospital ID and tossed it on the coffee table, kicking his feet up after it. Ellie grinned at the two most important men in her life connecting and floated off into the kitchen to fix some snacks, for once not even caring about Devon's feet on the coffee table.

"A Peanuts line; I'm impressed, Devon. Well, Sarah…I don't even really know how to say this, but here goes. On our first date, she asked me to do one thing: trust her. So, I did, and things had been awes – great."

"Ok, sounds good. I'm with you." Devon brought his feet back to the floor, sat up, and folded his hands in front of his face with his elbows on his knees.

"Then, she has this…friend, Rachel…come into town for a visit," Chuck mentally winced at how he was bending the truth to someone who was only trying to help him, "and during her visit, when she wasn't flirting with me in front of Sarah, she was trying to seduce me behind Sarah's back," Chuck heard the crash of glass falling to the kitchen floor in the background, "You okay Ellie?"

"Fine! I'm fine. Don't pay any attention to me, just go on with your chat," she stammered.

Chuck fiddled with his Nerd Herd pocket protector as he got into the meat of his problem. "Well, Rachel told me that one of the few things Sarah's told me about herself so far was an outright lie."

A gasp, followed by another crash, came from the kitchen.

"Then when I asked Sarah about it, she tried to lie again."

"She WHAT?" Ellie practically shouted.

"Hang on babe; this is hombre-a-hombre time. Your bro needs some wisdom," Devon shifted his gaze to the younger Bartowski. "Oh man. Dishonesty is not awesome, especially after asking you to trust her like that. What did she lie to you about?"

"Um, just something from her past. That isn't as important as the fact that she was lying to me already."

"Well, what are you going to do, bro?"

"That's just it. I don't really know. Sarah's friend is already on her way back home and if I push Sarah too hard on something like this, it could really hurt what we have.”

"Yeah, you need to be careful bro." Devon opined sagely.

"I think you're right about that one, but at the same time, I kinda feel betrayed by Sarah's lying. It's going to be really hard to trust her completely after this."

"You won't be able to for a while, Chuck. Trust is something that has to be earned. She just knocked over any foundation you guys might have built up until now and, if you're going to stick with it, you'll have to rebuild it. Brick by brick."

Ellie picked that moment to come out from the kitchen with a tray of sandwiches and a couple beers. "You are so right, hon. Chuck, lying to you about anything other than telling you she doesn't care that you still have a Tron poster in your bedroom is no way to start a relationship."

"Ellie…" Chuck protested her belittling of one of his favorite classic sci-fi movies.

"No, Chuck, I'm serious. This is something you're going to have to think about and then have a talk with Sarah if you decide she's still worth pursuing," Ellie put her hands on her hips with an indignant huff, "I can't believe she would do this! I was really starting to like her, too! Do you want me to have a talk with her?" She actually sounded hopeful at this last question.

"Calm down, babe," Devon pulled Ellie onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist, "every couple is different. Maybe Sarah was scared the Chuckster would react too badly to something she thought was no biggie, or maybe she was just embarrassed by it. He needs to think about how big a deal it really is to him and, if the lying is a real deal-breaker, he'll have to break it off."

Ellie smiled down at her boyfriend and kissed his nose. "This is why I love you. Chuck, he's exactly right. Why don't you find that quiet time that you were looking for in your car in your room? Think about Sarah's lying and see if you can figure out some answers."

"Sounds like a plan. Thanks guys, this helped a lot."

"No worries, bro. That's what we're here for," Devon boomed, "hey, I know just what you need. Tomorrow: you, me, two paddles, a raft, and some class-5 rapids: the ultimate rush. You in?"

"Not this time, Captain. I think I need to talk with Sarah about all this. Thanks, but you have fun with that though."

***

Carina stared at her bedroom ceiling, the questions swirling in her mind keeping her from sleep. Tossing and turning on her satin sheets wasn't helping, and her normally reliable pillow provided no respite either. Normally she was asleep within minutes, but tonight was a different story. Her recent unsuccessful mission to Los Angeles had given her more questions than answers.

When she'd received her orders, which included making contact with Sarah and her team, Carina hoped it would be just like old times: she and Sarah fighting side by side, then, after a successful conclusion, hitting some hot clubs to celebrate. Unfortunately, nothing had unfolded like she wanted.

Carina heard about Bryce going rogue, taking out some high-tech project, and getting himself killed in the process. She assumed since he and Sarah were so close some suspicion of involvement would naturally fall on Sarah, but the degree of penance Graham was forcing on her in her current mission was a shock. Her experience with Casey was totally different than her knowledge of Sarah, but despite his tendency to drop his guard with his zipper, there were few better agents, so why where both he and Sarah stuck in that Los Angeles backwater?

Sarah lied to her face, a realization that rocked her to her core. Spies never gave any information away, even to a friend, but Sarah had always hidden the facts behind vague need-to-know statements. She had never outright lied to Carina until she said that Chuck was an analyst. That hurt. She compartmentalized those feelings and went back to the problem at hand. Sarah and Casey's presence made Chuck a hugely important asset. Two of the best agents there were did not sit on their thumbs minding some random asset. The pieces started fitting together – Chuck was vitally important, but why? What was it about him that made Sarah and Casey's mission so crucial?

Babysitting some geeky asset was the last place she expected to find Sarah, even after Bryce's betrayal. She huffed and tried lying on her stomach. Her instincts needed some serious fine-tuning for someone like Chuck to lull her into thinking he was a pushover. The guy didn’t seem to have a clue what he was doing and, even so, he'd conned her out of the diamond and gotten it back to the CIA! The black mark in her record for that would take a long time to cleanse. She still couldn't figure how he'd managed to do it. Sarah hinted he FedEx'd the diamond back to Washington.

Sighing in frustration and rolling over again, Carina gave up for now. She wasn't going to be able to figure out this problem without more information. She grinned at her attempt to get that information out of Chuck. He was so cute when she flustered him…wait. Back up. Since when did she think of anyone as "cute”? What the hell? Well, his eyes were a very warm, chocolate-y brown, and the curly hair definitely had its appeal.

With Sarah's lie still stinging, Carina felt no guilt at her attempt to keep a line of communication open with Chuck to try to figure out what made him so important that her longtime friend looked her in the eye and lied to her. Something else wiggled in the back of her mind, just out of her conscious grasp. With her mind still in turmoil from questions that had no answers, Carina finally drifted into a fitful slumber.

***

Lying on his bed, Chuck stared at his cell phone, scrolling through his games for something to distract himself from replaying the events of the previous few days. Sarah had lied to him about Bryce. Carina had gone through her spiel about people in their line of work not wanting anyone to know anything about them that was real, but Sarah had to know telling him the truth about Bryce would have been better than if he found out…well…the way he did. Sarah's lie drove home one thing: Carina was the only one who'd told him the truth during his brief time in his new job.

There was that comment at the pool party too, telling him how sexy he looked. At the time, that had given him a warm rush of confidence that someone as glamorous as her would call him sexy. However, in hindsight, he started to feel much less confidence at her comment. Chuck knew from her seduction attempt in the hotel room that Carina was a consummate flirt, and was used to using sex to gain her advantage. If she told him he looked sexy, it had to have been to further some agenda she had related to the mission, right? She broke into his apartment and tried to steal the diamond back from him. His eyes went around his room – video game systems, the Tron poster.

Superspies like Carina…and Sarah…were never interested in Nerd Herders. To her, he was just some guy "Sarah wanted.” Carina wasn't trying to seduce Chuck; she was trying to seduce Sarah's guy. There were too many conflicting signals for someone new to the spy world to interpret. He couldn't figure her out any more than he could figure out Sarah, so he sighed and gave up trying.

As he scanned through his contacts, looking at the friends he had listed, trying to find someone he could talk to, though he knew outside Sarah and Casey it was a pointless exercise, he saw one that floored him.

_Carina Miller_

Carina left her number in his phone? For the life of him Chuck couldn't figure out when she'd had the time to take his phone and put her number into his contacts. Even beyond that was the question of why. Why did she bother putting her number where he would see it? Did she WANT him to contact her? It had to be some kind of game. She had to be fishing for more information like in her hotel room.

If she really just saw him as some guy Sarah was stuck with but maybe was interested in – his heart thudded a little faster as he thought about that possibility – and if she really believed in not forming attachments ("you never know when you might have to leave them behind or put a bullet in them," rang clearly in his head), then why did she go to the trouble of leaving a way for him to contact her? Why bother leaving this one connection open? Trying to figure out these spy-women was giving him more questions than answers.

Should he call her? She might be anywhere in the world on a mission, pretending to be some scumbag's trophy. Would she even answer? Why would she bother? The obvious logical leap to the fact that she put her number in his phone because she wanted him to contact her never occurred to him. He was just a computer nerd making $11 an hour at a Buy More. He was nothing special, as Jill, the five years in between, and Sarah's lies after asking for his trust all underscored.

What about a text? That might work. If she put her number into his phone, she knew his number, so she wouldn't think it was some random guy. If she didn't want him to call her, she could ignore a text much easier.

**Thank you.** Keep the message short.

Across the country, Carina's phone signaled an incoming text message. She groggily muttered a curse under her breath as she was unwillingly dragged back to consciousness after such a brief interlude. She reached for the offending device, then, when she saw the display, she smirked. It was Nerd-boy himself. Interesting. Of course the Nerd Herder would text instead of call. Sarah obviously wasn't nearby, or he wouldn't feel safe contacting her. This was certainly a fun turn of events. He was reaching out to her…

Well, if Sarah wasn't going to do anything about the Chuck situation, she could use it to her advantage. Instantly alert, her thumbs started flying across her phone's keypad.

**Chucky! Took you long enough. I was getting worried that you didn't like me. :-) What are you thanking me for?**

Chuck's jaw dropped. Carina used an emoticon? Maybe there was more to her than anyone had told him; more than he had even seen for himself. He began to feel a little guilty for judging her so harshly. She couldn't have risen to be an agent on Sarah and Casey's level if she was as air-headed as she came across sometimes. That had to be her act to get people off their guard. Chuck promised himself to take her seriously from now on.

**For telling me the truth about S & B. For being the only one to tell me the truth about anything recently. It meant a lot.**

Carina smiled. She could tell as soon as she met him in that courtyard that he was no spy. He was too open, wore his emotions too much on his sleeve. Sending Sarah Walker was about the worst thing they could have done to this guy. She'd play him like a hundred other marks before him, keeping him always off-balance, and he'd burn out, go nuts, or both. What was their connection? Sarah had been working with her boyfriend Bryce until very shortly ago – _was Chuck connected with Bryce somehow? Bryce gets killed going rogue, and all of a sudden Sarah's stuck in L.A. Hmm._ She'd have to look into that angle a little more.

**No biggie. You trusted me. It was the least I could do, for a cute-ish nerd and all. Even though I'm still really mad at you.**

Chuck grinned again. For some reason, Carina's upfront personality made him smile more than he had since this wild ride started. She was the polar opposite from everything he'd experienced with Sarah and Casey so far, and it was the proverbial breath of fresh air. As for the part where she said she was mad at him, he supposed he could understand that. He did kinda-sorta steal her mission objective.

**It is a big deal for me though. Thank you. I won't ask how you got my phone while you were here. I'm sorry you're mad at me.**

She smirked, remembering lifting it from his pocket in the car on their way to rescue Casey and Sarah. He was so focused on the road and trying not to embarrass himself with his driving that her finely-honed thievery skills made the pick easy. She'd surreptitiously put her name and number in and then slipped it back into his pocket when they got out of the car, with him none the wiser. For some reason, the image in her memory of him getting out of the car while she slipped the phone back into his back pocket, slightly bent over, started some butterflies in her stomach. He definitely had a cute butt…

She reasoned she was doing this as a favor to her wounded pride, to try to figure out why her best – and only – friend had lied to her, but as she said that, a little voice in the back of her head laughed and said "You're really doing it for him, so he can have a friend in this world." The truth inherent in that statement made her shake her head. When was the last time she'd ever thought to do something for anyone that didn't have some kind of benefit for her? Why was this guy whom she’d met just recently met having this kind of effect on her?

Just then her phone rang, interrupting her musings. She glanced down at the display: **Chuck.**

_Of course_ , she sighed. He dialed her.

She disciplined her voice so he wouldn't pick up on her annoyance and curiosity.

"Hi, Chuck!" Carina forced her voice to sound bubbly as she rolled back over.

"Hi Carina," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Wow. That was such an enthusiastic greeting. I thought I was the one who was supposed to be mad at you. You don't sound that great. What's the matter?" She sat up in bed and pulled her knees up.

He rubbed his cheek. "Just realizing anything I see with Sarah is an act. I didn't think she'd lie to me, but she did."

Carina blew a couple strands of hair out of her face. "You have to know that right now, you're her job. She thinks of you as a job first and a friend second, if at all. Remember what I told you about people like us not wanting anyone to know anything real about them?"

"Yeah, but I thought she was at least showing me glimpses of something else." He got up and flopped down into his computer chair.

"That's because she's the best at what she does. You won't learn anything real about her." Carina's eyes rolled as she saw how late it was, but she stuck to her guns to try to keep this link to Sarah's team open. Her usual smirk came to her face as she imagined what Sarah's expression would be if the blonde knew she'd been talking to Chuck behind her back.

"So what made you decide to tell me all this? Why are you being so honest with me?"

Carina paused. She couldn't tell him the real reason: that she was just trying to figure out why Sarah and Casey were babysitting a lowly asset. That would ruin any chance she had of figuring out who he was."Like I said, you're kind of cute-ish, and I figured you needed someone to trust. You aren't going to get that with Sarah or Casey. Their job is to protect you, and do whatever they can to keep you safe. That doesn't include always being honest with you. You trusted me. If you ever need someone to talk to at any time, you can call me. Well, text first, and I'll let you know if you can call. I know you won't be able to tell me about the official stuff, but I can help you deal with the people, especially Sarah. We've known each other for years. We just won't tell her when we end up having phone sex. That would really drive her crazy."

He laughed at the last statement, but ignored it, categorizing it as almost routine flirting on her part. For the first time in a while, he smiled. "Thank you, that really means a lot. The same goes for you. You're pretty unique, you know. You're intelligent, funny, honest, and that's just your non-visible qualities. Thanks for giving me a friend in this crazy new world."

"Thanks Chuck, and my invite is still open. Next time I'm in the area, I don't want to have to fake a Nerd Herd emergency call to get you to my hotel room, even if I don't have too many more clues to take off, okay? Oh and no bouncing a pizza plate off my head this time. You try that again and you might end up handcuffed to your bed."

He could hear her smirk, and it made him laugh, something he would have sworn was impossible earlier in the day. "We'll work something out."

"Good boy. Now, I have to get my beauty sleep. You should get some rest too."

"Wait, before you go, I have to ask you. At the pool party, you said I was very…well… good-looking I guess, in that suit I was wearing. Was that something you just said to piss Sarah off or did you really mean it?"

"Do you remember thanking me for being the only one to be totally honest with you so far? Let's go with that, okay?"

Chuck's eyes got big as he grasped the implications of what she said. "Wow…um…okay. Thanks, I guess."

She chuckled slyly at his awkwardness. "Now, unless you really are interested in some heavy breathing, I'm beat. Remember the time difference? I'd like to get some sleep."

"Oh jeez, I'm really sorry. I forgot you were a few hours ahead. Thanks for the talk though. It really helped."

"I'm glad Chuck. Oh, and one more thing: you still owe me a diamond,” she said.

They said their goodnights, and each turned over to sleep, one finally finding peace and rest after the day's stress, the other finally finding a dreamless sleep after a long, restless night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck and Carina get to know each other better, commiserating after awful days.

**Chapter 2**

_The truth is, we can’t save everyone, Chuck._

***

Another glorious day at the Buy More beckoned as Chuck's alarm woke him at exactly 7:00 AM. He groaned as he rolled over to shut it off. After the way yesterday the previous day went, he was in no mood for any of his coworkers' antics. Even what would be considered a normal Buy More day, (decidedly abnormal by real-world standards,) promised to rub his already frayed nerves raw.

After showering and dressing in his uniform, Chuck wandered out to the kitchen area for some cereal to start his day. Ellie was waiting for him, hair done up in a ponytail, her royal blue scrubs neatly pressed, and eyes questing. "So, Chuck, how's Sarah?"

His arm jerked, sending the sugary flakes all over the kitchen floor. "Aw, crap," he muttered, "She's fine, El, what's up?"

"Oh, I don't know; it's just that we haven't really seen her around lately. Are things still ok between you two?" Ellie held her coffee mug in front of her mouth and quirked an eyebrow, waiting for her brother to tell her how he messed up. She just wished he had a little more confidence in himself, especially since Sarah was still with him. That had to count for something, right?

"Yeah, we're doing ok," Chuck replied as he poured another bowl. He hoped his nonchalance would deter the interrogation Ellie was putting him through.

"Just ok? It never seems like you're moving forward the way you should be with her. Sarah's a great girl, Chuck. You need to romance her more. I just think…" she trailed off as her gaze swept up to the ceiling, trying to avoid Chuck's eye-roll.

"El, I love that you're taking an interest in my love life, seriously, but you need to understand. Sarah and I are perfectly happy going at the pace we're on right now. I just don't want to rush into anything and maybe ruin it."

"I just want you to be happy, little brother. You deserve it. You should do something really special for Sarah. You know, to make sure she knows how special you think she is. Take her out to a really romantic dinner." Ellie crossed the kitchen and put her hand on her brother's shoulder.

"I appreciate that, but don't worry about this. The last thing I want to do is come on too needy and scare Sarah away," he smiled ruefully, "Trust me, I know exactly how great Sarah is. Plus, a Buy More salary can't sponsor too much in the way of really romantic dinners."

"Ok, Chuck. Just don't let her get away because she thinks you're not interested." She patted his back. "I know how great a catch my brother is. I just wish he did."

"Don't worry, sis, she's not going anywhere."

***

"Bartowski!" Big Mike shouted from his office the second the doors opened for Chuck. "Where have you been? Your nerds are running wild!"

Chuck stopped walking at the verbal assault. "I just got here, Big Mike; what's going on?"

"That's something you should have figured out when you should have been here early!" Big Mike must have not had his donuts that morning to be so worked up. He was even gesticulating wildly for emphasis, in case Chuck wasn't getting the message clearly enough.

Chuck looked at his watch. "My shift doesn't even start for twenty minutes; I _am_ early!"

"Not early enough! You're the Nerd Herd Supervisor, so it's your job to keep them in line, even when you're not here! Now get cracking and kick some ass!" Big Mike stormed back into his office, leaving a very confused Nerd Herd supervisor in his wake.

"What the hell was that about?"

***

Chuck figured Jeff and Lester were the source of Big Mike's foul mood, as usual, and he was right. They were in the process of showing some teenager the capabilities of one of the HD camcorders by surreptitiously filming female customers. Chuck walked up behind the two and coughed. Jeff turned around slowly, his eyes unfocused and vacant, but Lester jumped a few feet in the air, stammering about some random feature that particular camcorder didn't even possess.

"Again, guys? Really?" Chuck asked resignedly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Charles," Lester muttered unconvincingly, looking anywhere but in Chuck's eyes, "We were just trying to demonstrate the camcorder to this fine young gentleman here," he gestured to empty space. Not surprisingly, the kid had taken off at the first sign of an actual adult.

"Uh huh," Chuck responded with his arms folded, "I've been standing here for five minutes watching your 'demonstration'. You know what this means."

"No, Charles, please! Anything but that!" Lester's eyes bulged out at the thought of punishment.

"Sorry Lester. Big Mike made this rule after the last time he caught you recording underage customers. Get to the cage and take care of the backlog, unless you'd rather have me call Burbank's finest to take care of this?"

Jeff and Lester grumbled, but slowly shuffled to the back of the store. Chuck sighed in exasperation and turned back to the Nerd Herd desk, only to jump out of his skin when a voice just behind, (and about a foot below) his eyesight, said, "Wow, those two are seriously creepy."

"Yahhh! Morgan! What have I told you about sneaking up behind me?" He patted clutched his chest in an effort to calm his heartbeat back down.

"Sorry, man," Morgan looked anything but sorry, "hey but anyway, what are you doing tonight? Do you have any plans with Sarah? I got Call of Duty 3…multiplayer!"

"Sure, buddy. Sounds good. I'll call Sarah and let her know we're going out tomorrow instead of tonight." Chuck sat down in his chair behind the Nerd Herd desk.

"Really? You'd blow her off?" Morgan's eyes went wide with surprise and delight. "Ever since you started dating Sarah, we haven't really had any of our epic game nights. I was beginning to think I'd lost you already."

"Eh, things aren't great with us right now. She probably won't even care," Chuck shrugged.

"All right! Another all-night gaming session!" Morgan scampered off in the other direction when a customer who had been looking at the LED TVs came over to ask him about something. Chuck sat back down at the Nerd Herd desk to deal with whatever emergency Jeff and Lester had left for him.

***

About an hour before his scheduled lunch break, Chuck heard a grunt behind him. Turning, he saw Casey beckoning from the break room. Once he not-quite-slammed the door, Casey growled.

"What were you doing over at Walker's for so long last night, Bartowski?" Casey folded his arms in his traditional 'you'd better not bullshit me' pose.

"Are you serious?" Chuck asked incredulously, "We were working on our cover. You know, that pesky fake relationship that makes me lie to my sister and friends constantly while I pretend to be happily dating a beautiful woman who in reality wants nothing to do with me?"

"Are you sure that's _all_ you were doing? No chocolate-flavored peanut butter?" Casey asked disbelieving.

"What is it with you and the candy metaphors? Do you want a Reese's Cup? The vending machine behind you has a whole row of them. Trust me, I'm well aware of the rules; Sarah's made them blatantly clear. Even a lowly asset like me can understand the word 'no'."

Casey grunted. The #17, 'No shit, moron.' Not that it was ever something he'd admit out loud, but if those two could ever get their outside cover and their inside cover on the same pages, it would make his life much easier. He might even look the other way if they had any more 'sleepovers.' Especially since, with Walker handling – he grunted to himself – the asset, he wouldn't have to do any evening surveillance. For all the crap he gave Bartowski, the kid handled himself very well thus far on the job, even more so because despite having never asked for any of this.

"Look, was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about, or did you just want to browbeat me for no reason?" Chuck turned back to the break room door.

Casey unfolded his arms and started opening his locker. "As tempting as the second part of that would be, I was just making sure you haven't compromised Walker."

"Well thanks for that, really, but I actually have things I need to do right now, so if you'll excuse me, I'll just be on my way." As he went to open the door, Harry Tang marched in.

***

Sarah was scrubbing the counter of the Weinerlicious, avoiding Scooter and waiting for Chuck to come over on his lunch break. Despite the troubles their cover relationship had encountered recently, his midday visit was still the highlight of her non-mission days. There was something about seeing Chuck's smile that made her feel lighter. As annoying as his infatuation with her could be, she couldn't deny that someone as normal as Chuck having a crush on her made her feel less like an agent and more like a woman. Ever since the first time she saw him when he went out of his way to help that ballerina's father, she knew he was different; that he was a good person. Having a decent person so outwardly infatuated with her gave her hope that her job hadn't taken her last shreds of humanity.

Since Chuck found out about her lie regarding her relationship with Bryce, he'd been sullen and a bit withdrawn, but not as much as she'd thought he'd be. That gave her pause considering what she knew about Chuck. Finding out she used to date his nemesis should have sent him into a funk, but he wasn't nearly as crushed as she feared he would be. She wondered why that was. Did he have some other outlet that she didn't know about – was he maybe even seeing someone else on the side? She shook her head. That was impossible – Casey, who intensely disliked being forced to babysit the asset, monitored whatever part of his waking hours not spent with her. Casey would have told her about anything like that. He could be such a prick; he probably would've taken extreme pleasure in sharing all the details.

Either way, she still had to explain how the spy-world worked to Chuck. She couldn't be an effective handler if his puppy-dog eyes could get her to go off-mission to fix a random problem that came up, or if he ignored a direct order to run and hide. If he kept ignoring them and putting himself in danger, he'd end up dead. Worse, she'd be reprimanded and sent to an assignment that made 'backwater' sound like a compliment. After Bryce's betrayal, she was already under enough suspicion.

When one o’clock came and Chuck was nowhere to be seen, both her heart and her face fell. She gave him fifteen more minutes. When he still hadn't showed, she told Scooter she was taking her lunch break and walked over to Lou's deli to buy lunch for both of herself and Chuck. If Chuck he wasn't bringing his lunch to her, she would surprise him and bring lunch to him. _After all, that's what a real girlfriend would do. I have to do this for the cover_ , she told herself. _Not because I feel bad about shooting Chuck down, especially since I didn't have a choice. For the cover. Always for the cove_ r.

She walked up and smiled at the petite brunette behind the counter. After ordering two club sandwiches on rye, getting some chips and pop to go with them, she took a deep breath to steel herself and walked over to the Buy More.

The automatic doors opened with a _whoosh_ and then slid shut behind her. She glanced at the Nerd Herd desk. Seeing it empty, she started looking around the store for Chuck, but his chocolate curls were nowhere to be found. She looked for Casey, but didn't see him either. Finally, she sought out Morgan on the sales floor, and found him avoiding curious customers in the DVD section.

"Morgan! Have you seen Chuck?" She put just the right amount of hopeful inflection into her voice, just the tone a girlfriend would have when she was surprising her boyfriend with lunch.

"Oh, hey, Sarah," Morgan drawled as he lazily glanced over, "Yeah, Chuck's around here somewhere. Why?"

"Why? Really?" She dangled the bag from Lou's.

"Oh, you brought me lunch? Thanks!" He made a grab for the bag but Sarah was too quick dancing out of his way.

"Morgan! This isn't for you. Where is Chuck?"

He pouted, looking for all the world like a petulant six-year-old. _Not too much taller than an actual toddler_ , Sarah thought unkindly.

"I don't know where he is. Casey called him off to the break room about 20 minutes ago, and he hasn't come out since. You don't think Casey is becoming his new best friend, do you?" Real fear crept into Morgan's voice at the thought and his eyes went from pouting to the size of dinner plates.

It took every ounce of willpower and training, but Sarah successfully fought the urge to roll her eyes. "No, Morgan, I don't think Casey is Chuck's new best friend."

"Oh, good, 'cause I don't think I could handle that. It's already hard enough sharing Chuck's time with you…" He trailed off, eyes wide and mortified at actually saying that out loud to Sarah, "What's that Harry? I'll be right over!" He ran off, leaving Sarah to wonder once more whether Morgan was one hundred percent sane or not.

She wandered in the direction of the break room, only to be intercepted by Harry Tang, of all people.

"I'm sorry, young lady, but only Buy More employees are allowed beyond that door."

"I'm taking my boyfriend some lunch for his break… Harry," she made a point of looking at his nametag.

"Oh, really? Someone like you," he paused looking her up and down, and she couldn't fight the visible shudder she felt at his action, "is actually dating one of the losers that works in this store? Who?"

"Chuck Bartowski, if it's any of your business. I brought him lunch and I'm going to share it with him." She started to step past the annoying man, but he blocked her again.

"Wait here. I'll check to see if you're on the level or just pretending so you can get to our break room."

Not for the first time did Sarah wish she could gut this angry little man like a fish. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for permission to eat in the forbidden Xanadu that was a retail store break room.

After a few minutes, Chuck emerged with a rueful look on his face.

"Sorry, Sarah. Harry is really on the warpath today and it's just not worth the fight to eat in the break room, so why don't we eat outside?"

This time the urge was overwhelming, and her eyes almost rolled back into her head at her exasperation. "Fine, just get me out of here before someone finds Harry Tang gutted and gasping on the side of some highway."

Chuck's eyes got huge. "Wow. That was really specific. Let's go eat at the tables outside the Weinerlicious."

Chuck led the way over, and, after sitting at a table just out of the sun, they started their meal.

Sarah waited until he'd had a bite of his sandwich before laying into him. She had to get him to see how dangerous what he pulled with the Chinese was, and how close he really came to being killed. "What the hell were you thinking the other night, Chuck?"

"Wha-," he coughed with food in his at mouth her sudden offensive, "What are you talking about?"

"Guilting me into helping that Chinese agent out! It was totally unprofessional, it endangered my career, and it really put you in danger! What were you thinking?" Her eyes blazed anger. She kept her voice to a low hiss to avoid calling attention.

Chuck was stunned at the viciousness in her tone. "I was thinking that she was trying to help her brother out and it was kinda sorta my fault that Ben Lo Pan got away in the first place! What's wrong with trying to help someone like that out with the trouble she was in?"

Sarah looked hard into his eyes, willing him to understand her whispered emphasis: "Chuck, _the Intersect_ is far too vital to risk on missions like that." _It can't be my fault that a good guy like you dies._

"The Intersect. Right. Got it." Chuck looked down at his food. _Always the Intersect comes first with her, never anything else._

"Chuck, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I think I do, Agent Walker." He stood up. "I'll see you at our next cover date."

"Chuck, wait!" she called, but he was already walking back to the Buy More, and her pride would not allow her to chase after him, especially in public. How had this gone so wrong so quickly? She wanted to make up and apologize, not drive him further away. "Well done, Walker," she grumbled to herself.

***

On the other side of the country, Carina's day hadn't gone much better. She spent her morning being royally reamed out –again – by her Director for failing to bring the Nadan-i-Noor diamond back to the DEA, then her afternoon being chewed out by her lower-level supervisors for making THEM look bad for the very same reason – again.

As if a day of being screamed at wasn't enough, Sean Haas, a prick of an agent that reminded her far too much of a blond Bryce Larkin with his God's-gift-to-women attitude, was hounding her steps around the office. On top of the failed diamond mission and everything else, this was just too much. When he put his hand on her bicep to keep her from walking away from him one last time, Carina snapped. She grabbed his hand, spinning them both around as she bent it up behind him, snapping bones in his wrist. At the same time, she kicked the side of his knee, hearing his moan of pain as ligaments tore.

"Get this through your pea-sized brain, asshole. I am not now, nor have I ever been or will I ever be interested in dating or sleeping with you, in this or any other universe. Do we understand each other?" she hissed at him. He merely grimaced in extreme pain, nodding slowly.

"Good. Now, I don't ever want to see you hounding me like some horny frat boy ever again and, if you think of pressing charges against me for this," she pointed to a friend of hers at headquarters who sat just down the aisle and had seen the whole thing, "Sharon saw everything, and she'll corroborate my report about your sexual harassment. Now get the hell away from me!" She threw him to the ground, turned on her heel, and stormed off to a wave of applause.

***

Chuck's iTunes program was playing in the background, but in his funk after the brutal day he had, culminating in the chewing-out Sarah gave him, he didn't hear a note. As he sat at his computer desk with his feet up on his bed, Chuck debated whether or not to send the text. She did say he could contact her anytime, but he didn't know if she was being serious or just nice.

_Screw it_ , he decided. This day had been bad enough, especially finishing as it did with the Sarah smack down. He needed a sympathetic voice, even if she was pretending.

**Are you there?**

***

As Carina sat in her robe after a luxurious soak in her favorite lavender aromatherapy bubble bath, she poured a glass of Red Breast Irish whiskey on the rocks – her favorite when she wasn't on a mission – and thought about her pressing concern: the diamond fiasco. Today had been pure hell because of that – her first failure. The view of the Mall from her Arlington penthouse condo didn't do anything to quell her frustrations. On the table next to her, her cell phone buzzed, signaling an incoming text message.

Despite the hell he'd caused her by thwarting her mission, seeing Chuck's number on the message put a smirk on her face. For reasons she wasn't fully aware of, she hadn't been able to quite forget Chuck's grin, or the easy way he trusted her. Her conscious mind told her that his trust in her would be the best way for her to figure out what Sarah's team was up to and who Chuck really was. Her subconscious mind had entirely different reasons for wanting to talk to Chuck more.

**That depends. What are you wearing?**

He actually laughed out loud when that message came through. Something about her carefree attitude, a stark contrast to his two handlers, really struck a chord with him. He felt lighter somehow when they talked, and her flirtatiousness, as shallow as he knew it was, somehow buoyed his spirits.

**You know this is Chuck from L.A., right?**

**Um…yeah…? Why do you think I asked? I tried to get you naked once before, but nooooo.**

He couldn't help it – he flushed at her persistence, but at least he was smart enough to know that a spy girl like her or Sarah wouldn't be interested in a nerd like him without orders.

**Ha. Funny girl. How's the jet-setting life?**

Carina sighed and slumped a little bit in her chair. Was that really all he thought of her? Sure, she was using him to get information about L.A., but somehow hearing that from a normal guy like Chuck hurt her more than it should have. She knew she projected that image but she hoped he would see more than her mission facade. She still hadn't left for a new assignment, despite her habit of going right from one to the next. Even in her down-time before receiving new missions, her restlessness would rarely allow her to be comfortable around her apartment, preferring to enjoy DC's club scene. Lately however, the smoky, dimly lit clubs pulsating with ear-throbbing music just didn't hold the allure they once did.

**I wouldn't know. Hanging around DC these days.**

Chuck's eyebrows quirked at the unexpected response. He thought she'd be off in Monte Carlo or somewhere in the Caribbean. DC didn't seem like her for some reason. He kicked off his shoes and lay down on his bed.

**Really? Why?**

She laughed. He was so cute sometimes. She sat up and cursed under her breath: she'd called him cute again. Something about this nerd was really getting to her, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what.

**Not really sure. Something's holding me back.**

That was intriguing. What could possibly be keeping Carina in the country?

**What is that?**

She wasn't quite ready to admit to herself that it was talking to him, for either conscious or subconscious reason. So she did what she did best – she deflected.

**When I figure it out, I'll let you know. What's got you down? Some drama at your day job? Sarah issues?**

**Other than today being a completely crappy day from start to finish, not much. How could you tell?**

**Please. Who are you talking to? Our last conversation ring any bells? My day sucked, so maybe I'm just sensitive to it.**

**Right, silly question. I had a night job thing the other night** **and I had to guilt Sarah into doing the right thing. Then I missed an important night with my sister.**

**Get back to the Sarah thing later. What was so important that you missed?**

**Mother's Day**

**You do know it's not May, yes?**

He sighed. This wasn't something that could be easily explained via text messages, so he rolled onto his stomach and called her.

"Chucky! Going from sexting to phone sex in one night? I like!"

He laughed and fluffed his pillow. "You really are incredible, Carina."

"I know, but who would love me if I wasn't?" she said cheekily. "So, Mother's Day in October?"

"Yeah, well, my mom left when my sister and I were kids, and our dad was never really there. He actually left when Ellie was about 16 and I was just a few years younger." Somehow, telling her this didn't really make him feel as embarrassed as it had with most others; the notion made him sit up a bit and consider the implications, but as he thought about it, she plowed right on.

Carina's jaw dropped, and, as the surprise wore off a little, she stood up to pace around her bedroom. "Your mom ran off, then your dad, and neither you nor your sister was a legal adult? That's pretty harsh."

"I didn't say that to make you feel sorry, just so you'd know a little about where I come from." His voice dropped lower as he thought she pitied him.

Carina raced to cover her mistake. "Oh, I understand. I'm just impressed that you turned out as well as you did with that kind of a hurdle." She walked over to get some pajamas out of her dresser as she silently hoped he understood her explanation.

Chuck's eyes narrowed a little as he heard what sounded like a door closing in the background. What did she really think she knew about him? "How well I turned out?"

"You're not a druggie, you don't have a criminal record, and you wouldn't live in a place like you do if you hadn't been somewhat successful, and Sarah likes you." She actually ticked off her points on her fingers, despite the fact that he couldn't see her do it.

"That's actually my sister's apartment. Well, hers and the Captain's."   
  
Carina undid the sash of her robe and hung it on a hook in her closet. As she slid her boy-cut panties on, she quickly put the phone down on the bed to pull the camisole over her head.

"Carina? You ok?"

"Yeah, sorry, Chuck. I was just putting on some jammies."

Chuck's eyes bulged and his breathing quickened at the idea that she may have been naked. "Uh, um, were you…not wearing pajamas before?"

"Ooh, Chuck! Does the thought of me laying on my bed in my birthday suit get your pulse racing? Not that you'd ever do anything about that!" She grinned as she sat back on her bed and got comfortable.

"I, well, I just was a little surprised and…" Damn. He always rambled when a girl made him flustered like this.

Carina cut him off with an exasperated huff. "Chuck! You couldn't even see me! Why does it matter what I was or wasn't wearing?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

She actually laughed out loud. "Of course I am and you'd better get used to it! So, your sister is dating a military officer?" Her voice held more than a note of curiosity. Was there another government connection in the family?

"No, no. How do I explain this…everything he does is awesome – white water rafting, skydiving, flossing regularly – so I just started calling him Captain Awesome and it just kind of stuck." The irony of repeating his explanation of Captain Awesome from his first date with Sarah to another Spy Girl wasn't lost on him and he rolled his eyes in frustration.

"Ooh, an Abercrombie model? I have to admit, I can't picture your sister with a model type."

"As much as he may look like a model, he's also really smart and completely in love with her. He's a doctor like her, a surgeon, actually."

"Aahhh," she said coyly, "I may have to pay this Awesome doctor a visit. Does he do OB/GYN or mammograms by any chance?"

"Carina," he said warily.

"Oh, stop it, Chucky, I was just teasing you. I wouldn't do anything to piss you off like that."

He grinned up at his ceiling. "Thanks."

***

Casey was pruning his bonsai when his computer beeped, indicating voices in Bartowski's bedroom. After putting on his headphones, he overheard the early part of the conversation, and grunted to himself.

***

"Ok, now about this thing with Sarah…" She brought him back to task as she lay down on her own bed.

"It was just something that came up. We had a chance to do something really good, help someone out, but it wasn't one of our priorities, and I had to guilt her into doing the right thing. After that she just got mad at me. I just don't understand someone who says she's devoted her life to the 'Greater Good'," he made the air quotes, "practically having to be forced to help someone out."

Carina sighed and took another sip of the amber liquid. "She's not wired like that. Casey either. She's been trained to do whatever is necessary to accomplish her goal, the easiest way possible. Let me guess: what you wanted to do was on the side or not really your mission?"

"Yeah…"

"There you go. That's not her. She's always mission-first."

His face fell.

"Look, I can hear how upset you are, but you need to stop assuming everyone you meet is like you. I could tell from the first time by the fountain you were naïve to this world, and I don't mean that in a bad way. You just think everyone constantly tries to do the right thing because that's what you do. Not all people – pretty few actually – work that way." A slight breeze on her balcony ruffled her hair and she blew an errant strand out of her eyes.

He sighed. "I just…I don't know…"  
  
"I'm not telling _you_ to change. People like you are rare, and I bet right now everything you do is a bit of a slap in the face to Sarah and Casey. They've both been in this gig too long, Casey especially, and they're jaded. Being around you is reminding them why they got into this line of work in the first place. Don't change. Just be aware of the world around you."

"I'll try to keep that in mind. Thanks, Carina." He sat up and drew his left leg up.

"No problem, sweetie. So, what exactly happened? I mean as much as you can say. I just want to understand what got Sarah's thong in a twist."

"I – uh – wow…" That particular image would be burned into his brain for quite some time.

"Um, Chuck? Come back, Chuck. Hello? "

"Sorry, I just kinda drifted off there. Um, well let's just say some bad guys -" hearing his euphemism caused Carina to roll her eyes and barely suppress a groan "- captured Sarah and Casey. Despite their very clear instructions to go home and not do anything, I sort of followed them in the van and, after distracting the guards outside, I was able to rescue them. Once they were free, we were able to finish the mission."

"Let me see if I have this right. It was a mission Sarah didn't want, because it was technically not your beef. She got caught, and an untrained asset rescued her and basically saved the day. That about sum it up?"

"In a nutshell, yeah," Chuck said almost sheepishly. It sounded pretty silly to hear put into so few words.

"Chuck, honey, you're a really smart guy. Don't you see why she's mad?" If it was anyone else, she'd be endlessly frustrated at having to hold his hand through all this, but Chuck was a nice enough guy that she didn't mind like she thought she would.

"Not really, I mean we did end up getting everything we wanted done, right? Why is that so bad?" He fell back against his pillow in frustration at his inability to understand women in general and one in particular.

"I think I remember you telling me you were the Nerd Herd supervisor?" She rolled onto her side and started to trace a pattern in her comforter.

"Yeah, for a couple years now. Why?" He got up and started walking around. Maybe that would clear his head a little.

"Have you ever had to take personal responsibility for a new employee? One who was fresh out of school or something along those lines?"

"I don't really see where you're going with this, Carina."

"Hang on, Chucky. It's a complex dish I'm cooking here, you have to wait for all the ingredients to mix juuuust right," she said with a smile he could hear.

"Did you just make a cooking joke?"

"Stay on target, Chuck. So, have you?" His jaw dropped at the Star Wars reference. There was a whole lot more he wanted to know about this particular Spy Girl.

"Yeah, a few times. Once there was this kid we hired for his first job ever. Even though he was a complete geek in his spare time, he didn't know anything about working in a store like that."

"Bingo. Now, I don't know if this ever really happened, but what would your store manager have said to you if you had to tell that person that the new employee you were responsible for did something completely against the store policy, against the manager's explicit orders, and against your own orders on top of that?" She got up and went back to her whiskey.

"I would probably have gotten into a lot of trouble," Chuck said slowly, as the light was starting to dawn on him.

She took a sip and blew out some air at the drink's smoothness. "Right. So how much worse would you have looked if that kid's bad idea had turned out to be the biggest sales boost the store had seen in months?"

"The reason Sarah was so mad at me was because I made her look bad to her boss?"

"Trust me, Sarah and I have been in this game for a long time and we’ve known each other even longer. That's why she got mad at you."

"I get it, I do, but I guess I was focused more on the whole ‘we all escaped, took care of the bad guys, and rode off into the sunset’ outcome."

"And you totally should be," Carina said with some exasperation as she tried to explain the facts of the spy life to an asset, "Sarah will be mad at you, but hey, they might even throw some fringe benefits your way."

Chuck's head fell down into his head. "Ok, you're going to have to explain that one to me, too. I feel like I'm eight years old again."

"Well, trust me, Chuck, you're most definitely _not_ eight years old, especially for something like this. I mean, if the bosses in Washington think Sarah can't control you the way an agent is supposed to control her asset, they might order her to take some more…drastic measures."

"That doesn't – that doesn't really sound like a fringe benefit to me, Carina. It sounds more like…"

"Chuck! I'm telling you they might give her expressed orders to sleep with you!"

Unfortunately, Chuck had been taking a drink from a bottle of water at that exact moment and most of that particular gulp ended up on the Morgan door.

"Sleep with me? They might order her to sleep with me? What the hell is that all about?" He had to keep his voice down to not wake Ellie and Awesome, but his vehemence lost nothing to volume.

"That's basically standard operating procedure, Chuck. If she gets you in bed, she can use sex as the carrot and then beat you with your stick," she snickered, "Once you're hooked on making sweet monkey love with Sarah, she can either dish it out as a reward for doing what she tells you or take it away when you don't listen to her. It's called a honey trap."

Her last two words triggered a flash. Chuck sat against his headboard, floored at the images the Intersect brought into his mind at what Carina said. He saw instruction manuals with generic people outlines in generic positions, Kama Sutra illustrations, paragraphs from psychological texts on how to find the right triggers to press a mark's happy button, pictures, and even (he gulped) video clips. It was almost thirty seconds of material, straight from the agent training courses.

She heard total silence and got worried that she'd broken him. "Chuck? Hello? You still with me?" she asked as she snapped her fingers to get his attention.

Chuck shook his head to clear his mind from the flash. "Oh yeah, wow. Sorry. That's still not a benefit!"

"Are you kidding me?" Carina's tone indicated her complete disbelief at his response.

"How is that a benefit? She wouldn't be doing it because she wanted to; she'd be doing it because her _job_ forced her to do it. How is that not prostitution?"

"Oh Chuck," Carina said quietly, "You really are one of a kind. I could tell almost right away that Sarah hadn't shagged you raw, so she's probably already taken some heat for not riding you like a thoroughbred. You're seriously the only guy I know that would have a problem with Sarah Walker being his own personal Barbie doll."

"Ok, number one: that's disgusting, and number two: I would never, ever do that. I don't think I could even get turned on if she was forced to do that. That's just…wrong on so many levels."

The teenaged girl buried deep inside Carina's heart heard Chuck say that and a memory sprang unbidden to her mind: that of an unsure, shy girl in the backseat of a station wagon, hoping against hope that the guy she was allowing to take her virginity would still love her as he said he did after it was over. She still, in her innermost heart, remembered the pain and shame she felt when it was over two minutes later and he drove her home. He'd bragged to his friends about his "score." As a tear escaped her eye, she thought to herself _How much different would my life have been if I'd known you in high school?_

"Carina? Now _you_ disappeared on _me_. Look, I know that sounded really old-fashioned and probably silly to you, but it's just how I've always been. My sister raised me that way and…"

"No, Chuck, it doesn't sound silly. It was actually kinda nice to hear that some people still feel that way." Her voice was raspier than normal, and Chuck thought it sounded like she really had to fight to control something. He just hoped it wasn't laughter.

"Thank you. I'm really glad you understood what I'm saying and now, I guess if what you warned me about does actually happen, I'll at least be ready," He sighed at the fatigue that hit his bones with incredible force right then. "So why are you hanging around D.C. instead of jetting around the world?"

"I'm really not sure, Chucky," her tone turned wistful, "I'm just not that eager to leave right now."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with our little chats now, would it?" She could hear the smirk on his face, and it almost made her actually laugh at his cuteness.

"Thinking awfully high and mighty of yourself when we haven't even done anything for me to miss, aren't you? Be that as it may, you were sitting at home, in your apartment or wherever you live, on a Friday night, almost waiting for me to call," he challenged.

"Hey! I was not! It was just too early for me to go out!"

"Carina?"

"Yes?"

"It's 1:30 AM for you…"

"Well…I got caught up in this conversation and…shut up," she said with a small laugh.

"Whatever you want, Carina," he chuckled.

***

Casey called Beckman first thing the next morning.

"Yes, Major Casey?"

"General, I overheard Bartowski talking on the phone last night -"

"I assume that's nothing new for you, so why did you bother reporting in?"

"He was talking to Carina Miller, ma'am."

"I'm listening."

"They weren't talking about anything related to the Intersect itself. He was just complaining about his new life to her. I played back the surveillance from the last few weeks, and I came across two other phone calls like this traced back to Miller's personal cell phone. Like I said, it wasn't anything work-related. Carina offered to let him confide in her when he was frustrated or confused with Walker, then explained all about honey traps."

"With Agent Walker? What do you mean?"

"The moron has a crush on her, but she hasn't given him any hope. She's actually done a good job keeping him off-balance with the lie about Larkin and other things."

"Okay, I'll bite. You obviously have a recommendation in mind, so let's hear it."

"I'll remind him not to mention anything work-related, but I don't see any reason to stop their conversations. Miller may actually be something of a steadying factor for Bartowski, as odd as that sounds to say. She can give him an unbiased, outside opinion, she has experience with Walker and, while I don't totally buy it so far, she seems to genuinely want him to handle the situation well."

"Approved. Good thinking."

***

On the way to his Herder to start another glorious day at the Buy More, Chuck noticed Casey glowering at him from his doorway.

"What is it, Casey?" he asked warily.

Casey motioned him over so their conversation couldn't be overheard by anyone either with a parabolic microphone or within general earshot of the courtyard. "You're a brave man for a geek, you know that?"

"Um thanks – I think. What – what exactly are you talking about?"

"Walker probably wouldn't react too well to your phone calls to Miller, don't you think?"

"Say what now? Were you standing outside my window last night?"

"It's for your own protection, dumbass. Just in case some random bad guy wants to try to sneak in and sell you on eBay. Does the name Zarnow ring any bells? I have your apartment wired like a pinball machine. My computer buzzed when you started talking last night and I traced the call. Don't get your panties in a twist – I talked to the General and there isn't anything wrong with you talking to Miller when you need to. I don't really blame you. Walker the Ice Princess is going to be tough for you to deal with. Just remember not to mention anything about that supercomputer in your gourd or any mission details and you'll be fine."

"Gee, thanks Casey. That's so comforting. My apartment? Seriously?" A look of mortification crossed Chuck's face, followed quickly by indignation and anger. "You better not have any cameras or microphones in my sister's bedroom."

"Cut the sarcasm, moron. The bugs are for your own safety and there aren't any bugs in areas you don't frequent. I'm doing you a favor by keeping this between us. I could have just blocked her number and faked a message that she had something much better to do with her time. You'd have even believed it. This way I don't have you coming to me all weepy when you can't figure out how to analyze Walker's mood swings. I'll also do you a favor and not tell Sarah about this. She'd probably castrate you with a rusty butter knife if she knew you were talking to Miller behind her back, especially with Miller explaining the facts of life with honey traps to you."

"As oddly and gruesomely specific as that was, this time I mean it: thanks." Chuck shook his head as he walked off to the Herder to start the cycle again. _Yet another day at the Buy More. Good times._

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a long-distance pillow talk session leads to a connection.

**Chapter 3**

" _Is this thing, our under-the-cover thing, ever going anywhere?"_

" _I'm sorry Chuck. No."_

***

Carina was aroused and confused. Not about the arousal – that was common enough. What confused her was the source of her stimulation. She felt distracted, like there was a tickle in the back of her mind that she couldn't identify. To try to get her mind off whatever left her unsettled, she got into her workout pants and a perspiration-wicking shirt to go for a run along the river.

As she popped in her iPod ear buds and started on the trail, her thoughts remained unfocused. Hitting her stride, she faltered as the friction of her pace caused her concentration to wander back to the junction of her thighs. _Thank God for moisture-wicking fabric,_ she thought to herself. Luckily, putting on her best sunglasses kept her eyes hidden, so the men she ran past didn't see her eyes tracking their every move.

As she passed the 5-mile mark, she squinted and almost missed the tall, thin man with dark curly hair stretching with a blonde woman on the side of the path. As she just got past where he was, she distinctly heard the woman ask, "Are you ready to go home, Buck?"

As the woman said the man's name, Carina flashed back to Los Angeles. First, she was standing in front of Chuck in her hotel room in nothing but the blood-red lingerie. Then she was in the courtyard, face to face with Chuck, offering him another chance to come back to her hotel. Shot down both times. Was that why he was driving her crazy? Because saying no to her was such a novelty she had no idea how to handle it?

Carina was so distracted by her musings that she tripped over a rise in the trail and went tumbling off the path. Buck and his blonde rushed over to help her up and see if she was alright.

"Are you ok? Let me see if you're hurt; I'm a doctor at Reed." He reached for her ankle to see if Carina turned it when she tumbled.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Just a little trip," she said as she waved off his offer of help, stood up, and tried to compose herself. She _really_ didn't want to think about Ch…Buck's hands running all over her body, making sure she wasn't injured. Before anything like that could happen, she thanked them and ran off to get back to her apartment.

The elevator ride to her penthouse seemed to take much longer than normal. What the _hell_ happened on the trail? She got so distracted thinking about Chuck she tripped over her own two feet.

When the elevator dinged and the doors opened on her floor, she practically ran to her door. After unlocking it and stepping inside, she stripped, leaving her clothes where they fell as she walked into the bathroom. She decided to skip her usual post-workout shower, opting instead for a bubble bath in her jetted tub to relax her body and mind.

Carina started filling the tub once the water hit the right temperature. After it hit a certain level, she poured in a generous dollop of her favorite aromatherapy bubble bath while her mind drifted against her will back to Southern California. She lowered herself into her tub, gasping as her traitorous subconscious guided her to her favorite jet. She hurriedly scooted out of the way, mumbling curses at the universe conspiring to drive her crazy. `          

The pulsing heat of the bath combined with her aromatherapy bubbles, usually so relaxing, failed miserably this time. The jets all seemed to be hitting her just right and the slippery texture of the bubbles made the most sensitive spots on her skin extra-responsive. As she scrubbed with her loofah, her physical arousal hit new heights.

"Son of a _bitch!_ " she exclaimed, draining the tub and getting out. Toweling off didn't help matters any either; the friction of the towel on her hyper-sensitive skin only drove her even crazier. She looked down at her chest. _Too bad I'm not on a mission right now; I could probably cut glass with these things¸_ she thought to herself wryly. She put on a pair of green boy shorts and her favorite silk robe, intending to try to calm down out on her balcony chaise with a glass of whiskey.

As she reclined on the chair and looked out at the Potomac River, a wave of heat coursed downward through her body as she remembered the eye contact she made with Chuck as she broke into his apartment to steal the diamond from him.

He had guilted her into helping Sarah. That he had been able to appeal to her loyalty and friendship with Sarah, when both her career and reputation were at stake, was nothing short of stunning. Looking into his eyes at her hotel room when she tried to seduce him and more so at the fountain in his apartment's courtyard, had actually sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach. That was the most shocking part of all: Carina Miller never, EVER, got _butterflies._

She took another sip of whiskey, hoping the burn would give her some clarity. Carina knew he was a better person than she was – it was his idea to go back and rescue their friends; she was ready to cut and run - when she saw no spark at all in his eyes while he turned her down, it reaffirmed everything. He wasn't like her, but that didn't change how she felt when she saw him.

He had feelings for Sarah, that much was obvious to anyone. She knew Sarah, though, and her friend would never do anything with an asset, especially in the wake of Bryce's betrayal and death.

She sighed, as her musings were doing nothing to dispel the arousal she was feeling at the memory of his warm brown eyes, soft lips, generous smile and, _let's face it,_ she told herself, _computer nerds had to be good with their hands, right?_ She shivered at the thought. The real reason she surreptitiously lifted his phone and put her number in the contacts was still beyond her. She kept telling herself it was to keep a source of information from Sarah's team open, to get some revenge for losing the diamond and the ass-chewing she got from her bosses, but that reasoning felt incomplete. Something else was tickling the back of her subconscious about the matter and she didn't like not being able to figure it out.

She really needed to forget about Chuck as anything beyond an information conduit and a friend. She needed to get _laid_. Carina slugged back the remnants of the whiskey and set the glass on the table next to her chaise. Sighing, she undid her robe, feeling grateful that her apartment was on the top level as she finally gave into her temptations and let her hands follow a path downward.

*******

Chuck trudged into the apartment after his morning shift at the Buy More, unsure of his feelings about anything. He dropped his keys on the coffee table and collapsed full length on his stomach onto the sofa. He really wanted to be in a real relationship with Sarah but, if he couldn't be with the girl he really liked, at least dating Lou was a chance at something normal. She was definitely different, from her casual cursing to her short stature. He just wished he could feel really excited about Lou. Treating her almost like second prize made him feel like an ass, but she was _real._ No spy secrets, no cover-lying to his sister and, above all, the potential of real affection was there.

Ellie and Awesome were at work and not due home for several hours. His stomach rumbled, compelling him to lever himself off the couch. He sat down at the breakfast bar after making a sandwich and pouring a glass of milk. He glanced down at his phone and debated calling Sarah, but he didn't think she would help him with this problem. The decision to text Carina to get her advice took less time than usual.

**Well, that was really something.**

Carina lay on her chaise, still in the afterglow of the intense round of orgasms she'd given herself. The buzzing of her phone next to the now-empty whiskey glass drove her out of her content state. She picked up the phone with a soft growl, but her face softened when she saw who was trying to contact her. Her fingers flew over the slide-out keypad as she responded to him.

**What's up?**

He snorted. What wasn't up? He texted her back as he walked back to his bedroom.

**Sarah shot me down. For good this time. So, I got a date with a girl who hit on me at the Buy More.**

Carina's eyes opened a bit wider. Sarah finally explained the facts of agent-asset life to him, eh? That wasn't really surprising but, at the same time, it had to be brutal for both of them. She could see Sarah and Chuck liked each other, so they both had to be hurting from that confrontation. She quirked a smile. This might give her more of an opportunity to learn about who Chuck really was. She got up from her chaise, re-cinched her robe, and sauntered inside, pausing only to put her glass in the sink on her way to the bedroom.

**All right! What girl finally came to her senses?**

He grinned and decided calling Carina would be easier than texting to explain this story. He sat on his bed and dialed her number. After a couple rings, she answered with a smirk he could hear over the telephone.

"Ok, so tell me about this girl that was flirting with someone I've _clearly_ claimed as my own property at least twice now." Carina purred, settling onto her bed, leaning back against the pillows.

Chuck laughed at her flirtatiousness. He didn't pretend to think she cared anything more than their still-developing friendship for him. After all, Sarah had taught him that spies didn't care that deeply for anybody, especially not for Nerd Herd supervisors making a few bucks an hour. Carina herself had said spies never get too close to anyone because they may have to leave or…he shuddered a little at the second part of that statement.

"Her name is Lou and she runs a deli near the Buy More. After I fixed her phone she even named a sandwich after me – the Chuck."

"Ooh! She named a sandwich after you? From a deli owner that sounds like a big deal. I guess that means my hopes of ever getting you in bed are gone. Is it too much to hope she's fat with a hairy lip and a giant mole on her chin?" she laughed, "Wait, you fixed her phone? Isn't that how Sarah introduced herself to you, too?"

"Yeah, it was. Looks like the Nerd Herd desk is actually a great way to meet girls after all," he laughed hollowly, "she's also basically the physical opposite of Sarah – shorter with brown hair and eyes."

"Chuuuuck," she drawled as she rolled slightly onto her side, propping her head up with one hand, "What's wrong? Are you still hung up about Sarah?"

"No…yes…I don't know. I really thought she felt something for me. I put it all on the line for her and she shot me down hard. She said there was no hope for anything real to ever happen between us." Lifting his feet onto his office chair, he winced at how pathetic that sounded. Carina must be rolling her eyes right now at the thought of having to deal with all of his whining.

"Come on, we've been over this how many times now? You know whatever she felt was acted for her cover, right? That's her job. I hate to say this, but that's all you are to her – a job. She's the best at what she does and nothing will stop her from finishing her mission." She willed him to understand her real meaning.

Why was he still so bent out of shape about Sarah? Sure, the blonde had nice…assets…but she didn't seem to have given Chuck any hope at all. _So, what was the problem? Why couldn't he just accept the idea that it was just a working relationship and move on?_ Something bothered her about his devotion to Sarah but she couldn't really put her finger on it.

When he didn't answer, she sighed and continued, "Besides, you have this new girl – Lola?"

"Lou," he corrected with a small smile.

"Right, right, Lou," she said with a tiny note of derision, although she herself was puzzled at her tone. All she wanted when she originally tried to seduce him was information and then, at the second attempt, all she wanted was to take what Sarah wanted. Her – very faint – twinge of jealousy puzzled her. "You have Lou to think about now. So, tell me about where you're going to take her."

Chuck noticed something negative in her voice but, without knowing what it was, chose not to say anything about it. "Well, we're going to go to a party at this club her ex owns…" he trailed off, realizing how absurd that would sound to anyone who didn't know the real reason they were going to the party at Ares.

_He was going to do what?_ So many things could go wrong with this that she really worried he'd never make it to a second date. She was really worried he'd lose what he so obviously hoped was a chance for a normal relationship.

A pause. A deep breath. Then she continued in a tone of voice usually reserved for explaining things to very small children. "Ok. Tomorrow, some nice men in white coats will meet you at the Buy More. I want you to go with them and do whatever they say."

"Um…what are you talking about, Carina?"

She sat up in bed, aware that the change in posture was linked to her surprise at what he was doing and hoping that would lend force to her voice as well. "Anyone who would take a girl on their first date to a club her ex owns is clearly INSANE. Are you really that crazy, Chuck?"

Chuck sighed and started walking around his room to try to clear his own head over what he felt for Lou compared to Sarah. "It's…complicated."

"It had better be. I thought you were smarter than that! Have you EVER dated before?" As soon as she said it she knew it was a mistake, but clapping her hand over her mouth didn't take the words back in.

The last thing Chuck wanted to deal with was more abuse from another spy. He plopped down in his office chair and said with an amount of venom in his voice that even surprised him, "Yes, I actually have dated before. You must be tired; I forgot how much later it is there. I won't keep you up any more. Good night, Agent Miller."

"Chuck, wait!" Carina stared at the phone in her hands, a pit forming in her stomach at the sound of the dial tone. _What the hell just happened?_ She hadn't meant to hurt him the way her words obviously had. As worrying as that was, what really got her attention was the involuntary way her eyes started misting over. She never cried. _Never. Not once._ So why was she having to blink so hard to keep tears in over having hurt this guy she had only ever been around for a couple days and a few conversations?

***

Chuck angrily threw his phone down on the bed and started pacing around the room. She really thought teasing him like that was funny. Carina didn't realize how deeply her careless words would cut.

_It wasn't his fault!_ All he wanted to do was try to date a normal girl and start a real relationship, but his night job was even forcing its way into that part of his life now. He sighed and sat down on his bed, trying to get to sleep, but his night was far from restful.

***

Not far away, Sarah was also dealing with the aftermath of the Truth Serum Incident. She sat on her bed, staring into the glass she clutched in one hand. Under any other circumstances, she would have only been too glad to shout out a happy "yes!" to Chuck's question, but she was sworn to protect him, and the penalties for her infringement of established policies for assets and handlers would be brutal. She would be sent to the ends of the earth and he would be sent to its bowels, never to see his family or friends again. She could not allow that to happen when it wasn't his fault he was part of this life.

She grumbled in renewed frustration. _Why can't he understand? Why does he have to keep pushing me? Haven't I been clear enough?_ She didn't want to push him away, but his transparent desire to have a real relationship with her made things extremely awkward. Even Casey seemingly picked up on something when he made sure she didn't compromise herself under the truth serum. Pushing Chuck away and into the arms of another woman – _a normal girl_ , she grunted to herself – was good for the mission. It would keep her from getting too attached. _Right,_ she snorted into her glass as she drained the remnants, _but I can't sell myself a bridge in New York._ It was going to be a long night.

***

Chuck's stress was off the charts. He had a date with a girl he really liked but, because of the stupid mission his accidental flash started, he had to take her to a club her ex owned. Relaxing and being himself wasn't even an option.

He couldn't talk to Sarah because he'd broken up their fake relationship to try for something real. He couldn't talk to Casey because he was Casey. He couldn't talk to Ellie because he couldn't tell Ellie why he had to take Lou to the club. Ditto Morgan. Damn, that sounded insane even to him, the way he put it. Carina thought he was being crazy, but she didn't know that the date she thought was crazy was forced on him by mission requirements.

_This is going to be a long day_ , he thought wearily. He wasn't wrong. The day dragged by until noon, when instead of going over to the Weinerlicious like usual, he put Lester on desk duty and locked himself in the Cage with his iPod. With nothing else to distract him, he blitzed through the backlog of repairs and no one dared interrupt him. Finally, the day was over and he got to go home to try to avoid Ellie's questions about Sarah, without the escape of texting Carina. _Yay._

***

Carina's day was just as empty. She was still fighting to not be immediately reassigned, opting for local, short-term missions to keep her around so she could talk to Chuck. Not that there was any talking going on right now. She'd hurt him with her careless comment, so she wasn't expecting him to really reach out to her.

Those expectations were not disappointed. Carina walked through her day with the burden of having hurt a friend, but without the hope of being able to fix it on her own. Sitting at her desk, she numbly stared at the screen. _Come on, Chuck,_ she thought to herself, _Call me tonight. Give me a chance to fix this and apologize._

***

After the disastrous date at Club Ares with Lou, Chuck drove home, showered and climbed wearily into bed, picking up his cell phone. It was finally time to give in and reach out to Carina. She was the only one he could talk to about every part of his life. Who knew, maybe she would even apologize.

**Are you busy?**

Carina sat on her couch, a take-out pizza on the cocktail table and a beer on the end table. She changed into sweat pants and a Notre Dame t-shirt as soon as she got home from work. The effort she put into relaxing served for nothing because of her lingering guilt over offending Chuck.

She really hadn't expected him to hold out for a whole day without calling or texting her back and giving her a chance to apologize. Just as she grabbed the remote and turned off the television, intending to just fall into bed, her cell phone buzzed. Carina's eyes grew wide and her heart leapt. She finally had a chance to apologize for hurting his feelings, but she'd make him feel a little bad about avoiding her first.

**Hiya, stranger! No, not busy. What's up?**

Chuck set his mouth in a line. She was going to make him work for it.

**I'm sorry for running off last night.**

She sat back against the couch and put her feet on the cocktail table next to the pizza box. _Wow. That was really unexpected. He apologized first!_ Guys, in her experience, never apologized first unless they were either going to beg for sex or somehow knew they'd royally screwed up. Well, he'd made a first move so now she had to make it right.

**Don't worry about it, Chuck. I'm really sorry for what I said. It didn't come out the right way. I'm really, really sorry. Are you ok? What's going on?**

Chuck's eyebrows flew up into his forehead. An unforced apology was the last thing he expected from her. There really was more to Carina Miller than he thought. Sarah and Casey had told him all about Carina's reputation, but he tried not to take her at face value. Chuck thought there was a lot more to Carina than he was given to believe; still, he was discovering new depths of her with every conversation.

**Hypothetical**

_One word, Chuck? Going to make me work to get what's bothering you out of you? Well, let's have a little fun,_ she thought to herself.

**What is “something used for example”?**

She had taken a little while to respond, and Chuck was just drifting off to sleep when her message came through. When he read it, Chuck's mouth fell open. That was unexpected, almost like she knew he needed it. Then his phone buzzed again.

**Close your mouth Chuck**

How did she do that? How in the world did she know his mouth fell open? She couldn't have access to Casey's cameras, so did she know him that well already?

**Didn't realize you were a Jeopardy fan. Thanks for the laugh. How did you know my mouth fell open?**

**What else would your reaction have been? What's your hypothetical?**

**Say you were out on a date and a guy who took every chance to turn you down showed up in the middle of it and talked to you.**

Carina blinked. He had to be talking about Sarah but to ruin a date was extreme, even for her. She was either trying frantically to preserve their cover or she was interested in Chuck but wouldn't break the rules to make it happen. Either way promised a lot of emotional strain and anguish for Chuck, and a possible opportunity…she shook her head in confusion.

There were those thoughts again. Why did she have such problems thinking of the lanky nerd as an information source only?

**Sarah showed up?**

**How did you know I meant Sarah?** Chuck shook his head as soon as he pressed "Send." _Of course she knew. Anyone who had known him for the past few months would have known._ He might as well have come out and said what happened.

**Um, yeah – remember what I do for a living?**

**Right. Sorry. So yeah, Sarah showed up to "see how I was doing."**

Carina didn't even try to fight her reaction – she just doubled over laughing at that message. Sarah walked in on someone else's date – a guy she swore she was "just professional" with – to see if he was ok? Did she really think she was fooling anyone but herself?

**Wow. I bet that was a hot date.**

Chuck snorted. **The first thirty seconds were…after that, not so much.**

**I'm sorry Chuck. I don't really know why she did that.**

**Part of me wants to think she's jealous, but I know she wasn't.**

**Why do you say that?**

**What's there for her to be jealous about? She's shot me down so far it's not funny…not to mention she's so far out of my league we're on different planets.**

Carina sighed and shook her head. He really had no idea what a catch he would be for some lucky girl one day. _That_ thought brought her up short. Even just the little bit she knew about him made her realize he was special.

Encouraging him to date another girl was a little tough; she recognized her own feelings for him – though she was unwilling to either acknowledge or mention them yet – and didn't like the thought of him being close with someone else. Dating Sarah was one thing; it was a cover and she would never allow herself to truly fall for an asset – especially someone like Chuck. Her type was more like Bryce. Dating someone else who Carina knew nothing about was a different matter entirely. This Lou girl might actually be something real for him.

Still, he needed some encouragement right then. She did some quick introspection. Being honest with herself, she was coming to value this friendship. He was interesting to talk to and didn't seem to judge.

**Right. An intelligent, cute guy who knows how to treat a woman right? Not in her league at ALL…**

Chuck just rolled his eyes and pushed "dial." She answered on the first ring.

"Do you really think that?" he asked with a healthy degree of skepticism.

"Think what?" She played innocent as long as she could.

She sounded so cute with the tiredness in her voice. An unbidden thought sprang into his consciousness: he wanted to just take her in his arms and cuddle her while they slept. “You know, when you said that I’m in Sarah’s league.”

She rubbed her face in frustration. "Come on, Chucky. Why wouldn't I mean it?"

"Because it's just not something I've ever believed about myself. There really isn't anything special about me. I'm just some guy working at a Buy More who got unjustly kicked out of college. Being expelled sorta limits job prospects. I'll never be able to provide for a wife and family. Girls look at me and see a loser." The vitriol behind his self-loathing surprised him, but it was the first time he'd outlined the depth of his fall to someone unfamiliar with his past.

Carina was speechless, but Chuck pushed on. "I appreciate your attempt to cheer me up, but Sarah is just stuck here babysitting me because of something she didn't do either, so in that respect I guess I feel some kind of sympathy for her. But I can see it in her eyes. She'd rather be anywhere but here and she deserves it. She deserves champagne and caviar, and all I can afford is beer and pizza when I get a paycheck. So you tell me – why should Sarah ever be jealous?"

Enough was enough. She had to stop this self-hatred, especially from someone who deserved it less than just about anyone else she knew. Sitting up in bed and drawing her knees up, Carina started to teach Chuck a lesson in seeing his own value. "Let me tell you a story, Chuck. Once upon a time…"

"Really? You know how late it is?"

"You called me, and it's three hours later here. Still want to complain about the time? Didn't think so. My story, so shut up."

The firmness with which she said that told him how serious she was. He put his head back on the pillow and resigned to listening to her entire story. "Shutting up. Please continue."

"Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes…" Chuck heard her stretch and get comfortable.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful woman, stunning really; the kind that made heads turn on the street. All the men wanted her, all the women wanted to be her. She had some wealthy boyfriends – guys who could buy her whatever her heart desired. She went to the craziest parties, rode in the most expensive cars, and got the biggest diamonds as presents, but it wasn't real. Whenever she walked around or went out with one of these boys, they never looked her in the eye. If these men looked at her at all, it was down her shirt. They mostly looked out at the people looking at them. You see, the only reason they wanted to be with her was so people would think better of these petty, small men."

"Then one day, after another painful breakup, she was sitting on a park bench, trying to fight off tears as she looked at everything wrong with her life, and someone came up to her with a single rose. When she looked up into his eyes, she saw warmth and concern for her. He wasn't looking down her shirt, he was looking her right in the eye, and it sent a shiver down her spine. 'What's this?' she asked him. 'I'm sorry if this is weird, but you looked so sad. I just wanted to give you this to cheer you up, even a little. I hope you like it. I'll stop bothering you now.' Then he walked away. Do you know what this woman did, Chuck?"

He smiled into the darkness at her story. "What did she do, Carina?"

"She got up and went after him. Catching him by a fountain, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. That very night, they went out to dinner for the first time." Carina really hoped this was getting through to him.

It was a sweet story, he thought as he sat up against his pillows, but it was lacking one crucial component. "What happened to the guy?"

Carina didn't understand what he was asking. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're either talking about yourself or Sarah, so what happened?"

"It's not important Chuck. The lesson here is that sometimes the simplest, sweetest gestures mean the most. It's not the rich guys who win all the time."

He laughed softly. Of course he wasn't going to get a straight answer from a spy. Even in situations where they were trying to make a serious, heartfelt point, they kept to themselves. "Thanks. That kind of helps."

Carina rolled her eyes. "Only kind of?"

"It's tough, but it's my problem and I'll deal with it, I promise. I just have some self-esteem problems thanks to a lifetime of rejection and bad luck."

"Chuuuuck," she said, dragging his name out in exasperation, "why are you always so down on yourself?"

"It's not really being down on myself per se, it's more of a realistic view of my life."

Carina just sighed. He really had no idea how good of a man he was. "How can you ever expect to impress Lou with how great you are if you don't even think so, yourself?"

"Carina, I just…I just don't know. Why do you believe in me?" She seemed to be pretty vehement in trying to get him to believe in himself, but he had no idea why.

When she spoke, she did so in a soft voice that had more sincerity than he'd heard from her yet. "Just in the little that we've talked so far, I've seen what a good person you are. You care more about other people than anyone I've ever met and that's one thing that throws Sarah off. She just doesn't react to it well. Give her time and she'll at least learn how to deal with you. In the meantime, you have Lola."

"Lou."

"Lou, right."

"I think I can handle the waiting, but it would be nice to know if I had any hope."

"Good boy. Now go to bed, and let me get back to my beauty sleep, too."

"Thanks as always, Carina. Sleep well."

***

In the midst of cooking dinner and wondering how she was going to get her boss off her back, Carina's phone buzzed. The day had been a long one; her boss was pressuring her more each day to take another assignment. Although it was nice to get a clear indicator of how valuable she really was, the routine of 'When will my best agent get back out into the field so she can keep that designation?' was tired. The day had been stressful enough that Carina was making some comfort food – soda bread and a couple of potato and sausage boxtys – to try to unwind.

Carina blinked in surprise at Chuck's text message. Lou broke up with him? Why the hell would she do that? They'd only been on a couple dates. What was wrong with these crazy California girls?

**My work life interfered with my love life, again**

Ok, _that_ made more sense. Somehow Lou had run afoul of Team Chuck. Carina felt bad for him, because he really wanted something real. She wanted him to be happy. However, with Lou out of the picture, she could have these conversations without the concern that someone else might monopolize all his time.

**What happened?**

**Long story short, Sarah ruined a few dates and…other stuff happened…**

She tried to fight it. She really did. Snicker by snicker though, Carina just couldn't hold her laughter in anymore. Of all the ways for a prospective girlfriend to be chased off, having a spy- cover-girlfriend step in out of jealousy wasn't even on the list. After she finished laughing, Carina finally caught her breath enough to steady her hands to text a reply.

**I told you, Chuck. Sarah is committed to her job. You dating someone else means she looks bad to her bosses.**

He snorted at her response, but then thought about it in the abstract, and decided that it probably was right. Sarah was probably under orders to appear to one and all that she really cared for him. Which of course was why she made it so convincing – she had to, to keep her job.

**I guess you're right, but it still sucks to be me. I just feel stuck, you know?**

She broke their unspoken arrangement and called him first. "Why do you feel stuck?"

"Because I can't move anywhere with my life. I can't date anyone but Sarah because then people would wonder why someone like her was sticking around for someone like me. We can't even really date because she isn't allowed to act on any feelings she may or may not have. Every move I make is recorded in some way, including this conversation most likely... and I just can't…even finish this sentence."

His speech and the despair she heard in his voice upset Carina more than she thought it would. He was so genuine in his desire to simply find someone he could care about and who, in turn, would care about him that for Sarah to mess up a budding relationship stirred feelings of pity for Chuck and irritation for her friend. Carina didn't know Sarah had it in her to be that petty, especially when she professed an indifference to his crush on her. She had to distract him somehow, so Carina brought the conversation back to a point he'd left unfinished.

"So, what 'other stuff' happened, Chuck? Did Sarah catch you getting lucky?"

"Ha ha, Carina. I wish. No, we accidentally caught Lou, the deli owner, smuggling in lunchmeat, so we pretended to be from the FDA and went about our real objective."

He thought he heard a snort. Then it sounded like a cough. After, he swore she was trying to hold in giggles. Finally she dissolved in laughter, eventually crying, she was laughing so hard. There was a muffled thump.

Chuck sat up with worry. "Carina?! Are you ok? What was that?"

She held her stomach and got to her knees trying to catch her breath. "I'm f-fine Chuck, I j-just fell off my bed." More giggles.

His eyebrows rose. "What was so funny about Sarah getting jealous of Lou?"

"Ch-Chuck," she stammered through the remains of her giggles, "Sarah was jealous because you were dating an expert in 'hiding salamis.'"

The sting of another failed relationship was fresh, but not so fresh that he didn't see the humor, and in a few minutes both of them were coughing and trying to catch their breath as he joined in her laughter and she, goaded by him, started a fresh round of giggles.

"Oh wow, I really needed that."

"No problem. Always ready for a little dirty joke or two." She said with a flirtatious giggle.

Their conversations had brought them a lot closer emotionally, but she knew that he wouldn't believe her if she told him she was starting to really care about him. She knew her reputation, and she knew what Sarah and Casey had most likely told him about her.

"Chuck, I have something I want you to do. Ok?"

"All right."

"Get ready for bed, get in bed, and then call me back. Don't ask why, just trust me."

"Ok, Carina. Give me a few minutes."

As he brushed his teeth and changed into shorts and a t-shirt, he puzzled over what Carina had in mind. Unable to figure it out, he got under the covers and called her.

"Hi," she answered him softly. "Are you in bed like I asked?"

"Yes."

"Ok, I want to you to put the phone on your pillow next to your head and close your eyes as we talk. Maybe that will make you feel like I'm there with you. Don't worry; I'm not going to try to start phone sex or anything. I just…this is as close as I can get right now to you, and I just thought that you needed someone to feel close to tonight. We've been friends for a while, and I think we've been getting closer, so I can be your audio teddy bear."

Chuck did as instructed. It was a little strange, but they really had become friends over the past few weeks, so maybe this would be a good idea. Maybe one day, if Sarah and he never got on the same page, he could find a girl who made him feel like Carina. He never thought she would ever have any feelings for him. Girls like her were way too far out of his league.

"Ok, how's this? Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you just fine, Carina, and, despite this being just a bit weird, it's actually kind of nice."

"Only kind of nice, Chuck? I'm hurt, I really am," she said, keeping her voice light to show she was – mostly – kidding.

"Well, it would be better if you were actually here, but not like, in the same bed, I mean…yeah, I'm just going to shut up now." Chuck was embarrassed at his boldness, but that statement was the honest-to-goodness truth.

She laughed at how such a small flirtation could fluster him so easily. "Oh, trust me, you have no idea how good it would be if I was there right now, Chucky. Oh, the things we could do together…" she trailed off in a throaty whisper.

He laughed softly. “This side of you isn’t something Casey or Sarah ever told me about.”

Carina sighed. “I know I have a reputation, but…how do I say this…it’s only for the job.”

“So the handcuffs, the constant flirting, the innuendo…?”

She grimaced, but responded, “All for the job…well maybe not the flirting as much.”

“I’m not sure I follow you. Why would you want people to think that way about you if it isn’t true?” Chuck sounded confused.

“Think about it like this, Chuck: it’s a lot easier to surprise people and catch them off-guard if they expect one thing from you, but you bring something totally different,” she spoke softly, conveying her seriousness with the tone of her voice as much as with the words.

“I get it. Agent Miller is a different person than Carina the girl,” Chuck sounded chagrined, “Then I’m sorry for believing what they said about you.”

“Don’t be. I didn’t give you any reason to think anything different until afterward, and that seduction attempt in the hotel didn’t exactly help your impression of me either,” she brushed off his apology.

“So what’s changed?”

“Me getting to know you more through our talks. You’re a good person, and you don’t deserve someone else lying to you. Gosh, if this keeps up we’ll even be friends!” Carina lightened her voice toward the end of her response to simultaneously lighten the mood.

"So, why would Sarah go so far out of her way to ruin a date if she keeps pushing me away, saying we can't ever be together?"

"Because that's just how she is, Chuck. She's had it drummed into her for years that feelings are a weakness. She sees genuinely caring for anyone as a vulnerability. It's nothing personal. Plus, soon after Bryce died…it’s tough for her.”

"Bryce, yeah…"

"What about Bryce?"

"Nothing. She mentioned him once, that's all. I think I'm getting tired, Carina. Thanks for talking to me like this. I really feel better about the whole disaster. I'll talk to you later?"

Carina's eyes widened at the abrupt end of the conversation. What was it about Bryce that upset Chuck that badly? He couldn't be that jealous of a dead man, could he?

"Um, yeah, that's fine, I guess. Goodnight, Chuck. I hope things start to get less complicated for you." She shook her head as she hung up. Something more had to be there for him to react that way, but for the life of her she couldn't guess what it was.

***

Knowing Chuck wasn't going to bother with their cover-date lunch after she chased Lou away, Sarah's day dragged by. There were only so many times she could scrub the Weinerlicious' counters and the condiments could only be refilled once a little had been taken out, so her day was doomed to boredom. She felt some residual guilt when she thought back over ruining his short-lived interest in the tiny sandwich maker, but her irrational desire to keep Chuck for herself, no matter how little of a real relationship they had, prevented her from sinking into a full-blown funk. He was too good for a strip-mall sandwich slinger anyway, she told herself. He had gone to Stanford, after all.

Still, she felt a little bad about the trouble she'd caused and wanted to do something to fix it. When her lunch break rolled around (finally) she walked slowly over to Lou's to both get food and apologize. It would reinforce the cover.

Lou gave her the evil eye the second she walked in the door, but didn't refuse to serve her. After Sarah got her sandwich, she asked for Lou to step outside the counter for a quiet word.

"Listen, I want to apologize for ruining your date with Chuck the other night. I'm sorry about how I acted."

Lou looked her very levelly. "Don't be. He and Agent Casey told me all about how you really work for the FDA and what he has to do for a job. How it never would've worked for us. I'm just glad it was one date and not a whole relationship that got ruined." Lou smiled ruefully. "I'm actually sorrier for you, _Agent_ Walker."

The venom Lou used in her title took Sarah aback slightly. "Why?"

"Chuck told me how you have to fake a relationship, pretending to be in love for his friends and family. It must be excruciating for you to have to pretend and be careful to not really fall in love with a great guy like him."

She must look something like her goldfish, a small part of Sarah's mind told her as she stood in front of Lou, her mouth working without any words coming out. She didn't know which surprised her more – the truth behind Lou's accusation or the fact that other people could see it so easily. Was her guard falling that fast?

"That's what I thought. Enjoy your sandwich, _Agent_ ," Lou said as she went back behind the counter to serve another customer.

Sarah walked out of the deli and over toward the Buy More, her rigid posture belying her inner turmoil. Despite her efforts at establishing a cover as the Intersect's loving girlfriend, she'd made at least one enemy. She'd have to work harder to avoid the same fate with Ellie. At least now she wouldn't have to see him with another girl anymore.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the catalyst for the rest of the story gets the action going.

**Chapter 4**

_Did you kiss me that night because you thought we were going to die and mine were the most convenient lips around, or was it actually about me?_

_What happened was a mistake. One I will not make again._

***

Chuck stood at the Nerd Herd desk, trying to look like he was listening to Morgan's tale of Anna woe- _du-jour_ when his phone vibrated, signaling an incoming text message. He shook off the ever-persistent Morgan to look at his phone under the desk and out of sight of the Buy More's security cameras, conveniently monitored in Casey's apartment.

**Are you at work?**

Carina almost never texted him first; usually she waited for him to contact her.

**Yeah, but it's slow at the moment. What's up?**

Carina sighed at her desk, her workday almost over. The days were just getting longer and longer.

**It's been an…interesting…day at my office. When do you get off? ;-)**

Chuck wanted to laugh out loud, but he knew Morgan would ask now, while Casey would ask later, and he didn't want to deal with either of them. He covered his choked-off laugh by coughing.

**I'm done at 5 Pacific time. Things have been kind of crazy here too, so I was just planning to have dinner and relax. Want me to call then?**

Carina put her head into one of her hands, supported with her elbow on the desk. More drama? If the craziness he referred to was something Sarah did, the blonde had better have had a job-related reason.

**If you need some quiet time that's fine, but if not, I really could use a friend to talk to.**

Carina had never asked to talk to him before this. She must be really upset about something. He looked around to be sure none of the Buy Morons were watching over his shoulder and hurriedly texted her back.

**Of course! That's totally cool Carina. I'll call you soon.**

**Thanks, Chuck**

***

When he got home, Chuck quickly microwaved a pizza, opened a can of pop. Sitting down on the couch, he put his feet up on the coffee table, and dialed Carina.

"Hi Chuck!" she said much too cheerily. It sounded forced even over the phone. He repositioned himself into a corner of the sofa to get more comfortable for what he expected would be a long conversation.

"Ok, what's wrong, Carina?

Even though she knew Chuck couldn't see her face, one of her eyebrows rose. "Wow, my skills must be fading if you can pick up on my tone like that. Like I said, my boss is giving me a lot of crap, and it's really getting on my nerves. I just needed to talk to a friendly voice." She pushed open her balcony doors and walked over to her lounge chair.

He couldn't help smiling that she knew he saw through her tone, and that she called him a friend. "Well what's your boss' problem?" After asking her that question, he took a big bite of the pizza, chewing while she answered.

Carina huffed out a big breath. "She's been on my case to take another overseas assignment since _someone_ got me in trouble with a diamond. She's really been riding me the last few weeks. I tried telling her that being on my ass was your job, but she just blew me off and said I needed to keep my career going or it would end."

Chuck took a sip of his drink and laughed at her accusatory tone. He didn't want to see Carina leave, but it probably would be the best thing for her career. At the very least, he didn't deserve to be the reason she put her career on hold. He winced silently at the implications for his own life if she left. "Yeah, well, I'm not going to apologize too much for that, since Sarah and Casey would have kicked my ass if it hadn't worked out that way."

Carina started to come back with a snarky response, but bit it off. Snapping at Chuck wasn't going to solve her problem. "I guess it worked out in the end. Sarah and I are even for Pakistan now."

"You know, that story must be really awesome if both of you keep referring to it. One of these days you need to tell me what you can about it," Chuck said in a thoughtful tone before taking another bite of pizza.

Carina smirked at Chuck's unwitting admission. _Oh Chuck, you just made a mistake there. Maybe now I can figure something out about what you_ really _do._ "So, let me get this straight: you know all about Argentina, but nothing about Pakistan? That seems kind of strange. What files did you say you had access to, again, Chucky?"

Chuck sat up in consternation. _Oh crap. How do I respond to this?_ "Well, I saw this one – that is to say, Sarah mentioned...uh…can I just say that I really can't answer that?"

She growled in response. "Fine, don't tell me. Just tell me what to do about my job."

Chuck stood up and started walking toward the kitchen. "Well, what are your options?"

Carina exhaled loudly as she stood up from her chaise on the balcony and looked down to the Potomac. “I’m not really sure. I’ve always moved from one long-term job to another, so if they don’t force me to do that again, they might fire me, or worse…,” she trailed off, “I hate this town."

Chuck looked up in surprise, setting his pizza on the table. "Really? Why?"

Carina massaged her forehead. _What to tell him? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell the truth. It won't give away anything critical about me and as a bonus it'll establish a better connection and maybe he'll tell me more later on._ "It's such a phony area. People are only concerned with power and status, and when it's just me, the girl instead of the agent, I get tired of that really easily."

Chuck's jaw dropped. _Did she just tell me something about herself that's real?_ "Wow, that's…pretty awesome." He hesitated.

_What isn't he telling me?_ Carina thought, her interest piqued. Carina switched the phone from her left hand to her right. "What? What is so awesome?"

Alarmed that she seemed to know he was hiding a thought, he searched for something to divert her attention. "It's just not what I expected you to say."

_Oh no, I'm not letting him off the hook that easily,_ Carina thought to herself with a smirk. "Really, Chuck? Why are you trying to hide what you were really thinking?"

He sighed, falling back into the sofa. _Busted._ "Well, it would have been really easy to just give me a non-answer that sounded good but really didn't say anything; you told me something real about yourself though, something about how you think as a person, and I'm not really used to that," he said in a resigned tone.

Carina's breath hitched. Her eyes grew wide. She hadn't expected him to take the comment so seriously. "Chuck, it was just how I feel about a city, not my real name or anything that personal." She walked back into her bedroom and sat down on the bed to get more comfortable.

Chuck started pacing around the living room, wondering how to explain what he was thinking to Carina. "I know, but Sarah wouldn't have even told me that much. It just was a shock to hear something that personal at all. I had to watch her pick toppings off to learn what she actually likes on her pizza."

She drew her legs up and put her chin on her knees. "Sarah has other reasons for not wanting you to know anything real about her. She's had a tough life. Believe me, the worst thing you could do would be to press her for information about herself when she isn't in a good mood."

Chuck took his empty plate into the kitchen. "I know Sarah's different; I just meant…I was kinda talking about you when I said I wasn't expecting you to say that. Sarah and Casey, well, tried to warn me about you before the mission."

Carina's eyes narrowed. "Did they, now? Not really surprising, but Chuck, what they said, that's not really me…"

He leaned against the refrigerator. "I know it's not. Getting to know you the past few weeks has been really great. There's so much more to you than they told me, and more than you were even willing to show me when you were here. What was that you said, 'you never know when you might have to leave someone behind or put a bullet in them'?"

She'd been taking a sip of water when he said that, and having her own words thrown back at her surprised her enough that she coughed. "That wasn't my best moment," she said quietly when she had her breath.

"Don't worry about it," Chuck laughed softly as he pushed off the fridge, "it was just another side of you. It scared me a little, but I also got to see a little of your personality on a mission."

Chuck's honesty and sincerity unsettled her. _Who is this guy and why hasn't Sarah jumped his bones yet? He's exactly what she needs after Bryce._ "I'm not really used to anyone being this genuine with someone they don't know that well. Even Sa…rah was never this blunt with me."

He caught her hesitation but chose to ignore it for the moment as he walked back to the couch. "Wow. I'm sorry for that. I can promise you, though, that you won't ever have to worry about what I'm saying. I'm a truth-only kind of guy."

She blew out a laugh and sighed. "Oh, Chuck. Believe me, I understand that about you now. Anyway, you said your life was pretty crazy again. What's going on? Is everything ok with Sarah and Casey?"

"Oh, well…I just…this sounds so silly." He ran his left hand down the leg of his jeans, trying to straighten out his thoughts as he straightened out wrinkles in the fabric.

Carina sensed he was trying to avoid a sensitive topic. "Just say it, Chuck," she said softly, "I promise I won't laugh."

_No easy way to do this; better to just blurt it out and get it over with,_ he thought ruefully as he leaned back in his chair. "Well, I caught Sarah kissing another guy."

Silence. "…and…?"

"And what? It was a pretty intense kiss, and I just…seeing the girl I like kissing another guy, especially B – like that, just kind of got to me."

She smiled softly as she tried to figure out a way to help him feel better. "I'm sorry Chuck. I know it hurts you, but like I keep saying: you have to try to not let these things shake you. Even if she did feel anything real for you, if she tried to have anything more than some non-fake kissing or cuddling, Graham would send her to the ass-end of Lower Mongolia to count livestock. She does like you, I could tell, but you have to understand her career is too important to her."

Chuck felt a pit forming in his stomach. _Have I really misread Sarah that badly?_ "What do you mean? Her career is too important for her to have any real feelings?"

"Oh, how can I explain this? The reason you think she has any interest in you at all is because of how good of an actress she is. She told me you were an analyst, but that's not true, is it? You're an asset, and a valuable one for Sarah and Casey to babysit you. Being an asset means her job is to control you." Carina said with a little added emphasis. _Create the doubt in his mind. I'm honest, she's not. I'll be able to get back at Sarah soon enough._

"To control me." He made it a statement, staring blankly at the wall.

Carina took a sip of water to wet her lips after that last long speech and refresh her for what she had to say next. "Yes, to control you. I need to ask you something, but you need to understand I'm not asking this to hurt you. Ok?"

Chuck was puzzled. "Um, sure."

_How can I phrase this in a way that won't upset him?_ "What is it about your past that makes you so vulnerable to Sarah pretending to be affectionate?"

Silence greeted her question. "Well, about five years ago, her old _boyfriend_ Bryce Larkin framed me for cheating in my last semester at Stanford, got me kicked out, and then to put the cherry on top of that particular crap sundae, slept with my girlfriend, to whom I was planning on proposing after graduation."

Chuck wasn't sure, but he thought her mutter something about a rodent of questionable parentage, followed by a muted impact noise of some kind. "Wait, what was that?"

Carina drew her fist back from the pillow next to her and said "I said the next time I come to town I'm going to give Sarah more than just a bloody nose. Of course she picks that vulnerability to play. That's why she's so hot and cold with you. She knows your self-esteem when it comes to dating is virtually gone, so she plays it up when she needs to and then drops you like a bad habit when it suits her. It keeps you off-balance."

Chuck's head slumped forward in defeat. "As much as I hate to admit it, that makes a lot of sense," he said softly.

She threw up her hands in mock exasperation. "Gee, thanks, Chuck. Every so often I try to say something logical."

"Well, as long as it's every so often I suppose I can allow it," he rejoined with a sheepish laugh.

Carina figured it was time to get the conversation back onto more positive ground. "Ok, we need to talk about something more fun. Tell me something I don't know about you."

Chuck looked up at the ceiling in thought. "Hmm…something you don't know. Well, I'm something of a nerd…so there's the whole video game and computer thing…"

She giggled, then tried to cover it with a cough. "Oh, hun, I said something I _didn’t_ know,"

_Hun?_ "Ok, ok…um, well…Did you just giggle, by the way?"

Carina put her hand over her mouth. "Are you serious? I don't giggle, Chuck. Anyway, I was kidding about the nerd thing. I said I wanted to know all about you, so hit me with your best shot: what games are your favorites?"

"Well, right now I’m occupied with Call of Duty, but my favorite new game is Assassin's Creed, and for the classics, I’ve always loved Nintendo games…Mario Brothers and Mario Kart will always be awesome. Oh, and Tomb Raider, of course" Chuck ticked off the games on his fingers as he went along.

“Tomb Raider?” Carina asked. “What’s Tomb Raider?”

Even though she couldn’t see him, Carina knew he was blushing as he stammered, “W – well, it’s b – basically an action game that has you solve puzzles, and the heroine is pretty…awesome…” he ended lamely.

“Heroine?” she asked disbelievingly, “Ok, this I’ve got to see.”

So saying, she pulled her laptop over and after bringing up Google, she searched for Tomb Raider. Chuck waited nervously for her reaction. He didn’t have to wait long. Carina burst out laughing when she saw the game cover art.

It was several moments before her laughing subsided enough for her to gasp out, “Are you serious? _That_ is this heroine? She looks like a Barbie doll, Chuck!”

He laughed ruefully. “Yeah, I know. Her appearance generated a lot of commentary, but the game actually makes you think through the puzzles. So,” he said, trying to change the subject, “did you ever play any video games?”

"I actually loved playing the Mario games when I was a kid. What system do you play the others on?" Carina asked.

Chuck noted that she was a Nintendo fan for future reference. "That's impressive that you even knew the names, Carina. I used to be an Xbox guy, but now I have a PS3 because it also plays Blu-Ray movies."

"Really? That's cool…for nerdy gamers that is," Carina laughed to show she was still teasing him. She also pulled her laptop over and brought up Amazon.com.

He heard a noise in the background and strained to hear what she was doing. "What's that typing?"

She wasn't about to tell him that she was going shopping based on something he said, so she deflected, "Oh, I'm just tapping on the table." Carina smiled softly as she added a PlayStation and the latest two Call of Duty games, all three Halo games, and Assassin's Creed to her cart and paused with her finger over the "place order" button. She told herself she was only identifying with a mark, finding what he liked and generating her own interest in that to form a bond. As she clicked the mouse button to submit the order, she also ruthlessly pushed down the ever-louder voice in the back of her mind that annoyingly reminded her that she was doing this so they would have something else in common to build a friendship on. _Spies don't make friends, so why is it I want this guy to like me so much?_

Chuck noticed the long pause and tried to catch her attention again. "So what are you going to do about your job?"

"I'll probably see if I can take a short mission, quick in-and-out, and maybe in again, then out again. You know, just how I like it," she replied with a mischievous tone, "What are you going to do about Sarah?"

Chuck sighed in frustration as he stood up. "I have no idea. If I change how I act around her, she'll notice and figure out something's going on or Casey will notice and they'll bring in someone new, and to be honest, I don't want that. I trust her with my life, if not my heart, if that makes any sense." He looked up at the ceiling as if it held any answers for him.

"It makes a lot of sense, Chuck. Just don't trust her completely. Sarah always finishes her missions. If she gets the order to take you to a bunker, you'll never see it coming. If she gets orders to terminate you, she'll do that too without blinking an eye." She forced her voice to sound supportive even though her heart fluttered at how easily this naïve, sweet, innocent guy would be duped by Sarah's acting skills.

"Wow, that's…depressing," Chuck said.

"I definitely didn't say it to cheer you up, Chuck. I told you that to put you on your guard. I know how many assets she's burned." Carina fell back against her pillows with her warning.

He smiled. "I appreciate it, Carina. Thanks for that."

They said their goodnights, and though Carina tried to go to sleep, her mind was troubled over what might happen to Chuck if Sarah's mission changed and how she could try to prevent it. Chuck tried to clear his head with some video games, but he kept thinking about the differences between the two Spy Girls. One who was so beautiful and seemed so wholesome, but who repeatedly lied to him and would, if given the order, become his executioner. The other who had endangered his life, tried to run off with a diamond, and had a reputation as the kind of girl he never would have brought home to his sister, but had never lied to him and was trying to prepare him for whatever the spy world would throw at him. His dreams that night were not happy.

*******

Carina walked into her boss' office with some trepidation. She wasn't eager to take this short term assignment, but it would be a way to get her boss off her back about taking a longer job for a little while longer. She nodded and smiled to Ms. Honeywell, the secretary. "Hi! I have an appointment with Director Maxwell."

"Yes, Agent Miller. The director is waiting for you," she said in a disapproving tone as she looked over her glasses at Carina, "as usual. Go right in."

Carina tried not to roll her eyes as she thanked the woman and opened the door to the director's office.

"Agent Miller, sit down" Carina sat in one of the plush chairs opposite the director's desk and took in her director's office. Plush and well-appointed, it felt more like a library than an office. Director Vivian Maxwell sat behind the huge oak desk, prim and proper in a dark business suit and grey blouse. Her dark blonde hair, streaked with more grey than Carina remembered, was pulled back in a severe bun.

"You wanted to see me, Ma'am?" Carina asked after folding her hands in her lap.

"Yes, I did. I'm not happy with your continued refusal to take another deep-cover posting. Your skills are wasting away here, and we need you in the fight against the cartels."

Carina bowed her head and started to speak: "Ma'am, I know that in the past I've gone from one assignment to another, but I'm not fresh from the academy anymore. I've cheated death too many times and lost too many friends. I don't know how much more I have left."

Director Maxwell folded her hands on her desk and looked Carina squarely in the eye: "You're simply too talented to waste sitting around Washington, and I have no idea why you're wasting your time here. By all rights I should force you to take another job, but since I think that would result in negative consequences for both yourself and this agency, I'm going to give you a compromise option: you may take a short-term domestic mission while you reassess your priorities."

Carina's training kept her eyes from showing her surprise at the director’s stance. "Is that my only choice, ma'am?"

"That or resign your status as an agent and become a civilian," Director Maxwell said dryly.

Carina sighed in resignation. "Where is this assignment and when do I leave?"

***

Carina texted Chuck as soon as she was back at home that evening.

**Got my boss off my back finally!**

Chuck, sitting in the break room eating a sandwich, received her text and smiled.

**How did you manage that?**

The fact that he gave her full credit for doing something that had been forced on her didn't escape her notice, and she smiled to herself as her fingers flew over the keypad.

**She made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.**

Well that wasn't the most welcome news he'd had all day. Chuck's face took on a look of worry.

**Wow. That sounds intense. How do you feel about that?**

Carina sat back in her chair, surprised by the question. No one ever asked her how she felt about her job before, at least not in a personal way. She had to undergo periodic psychological tests when she came back from the field, but those were only to gauge how fit Carina the agent was for further missions. Chuck was asking how Carina the girl felt about putting herself in danger. _He's being my friend!_ She thought to herself with an internal smile.

**Eh, no big deal. It should be quick and dirty…just how I like it! ;-)**

Chuck just shook his head and laughed Nothing would ever change Carina. Not that he wanted her to change. He needed the fresh air she brought into his days. Then a worrying thought struck him.

**So, are we going to still be able to talk, not as much, or not at all?**

That took the smile off her face and her good mood evaporated. This was going to be the hardest part.

**Not at all. I'm sorry, but I can't break cover when I'm deep.**

_Not good news at all._ Chuck started to really worry; if he lost the person who was fast becoming one of his best friends - and the only one he could talk to about both sides of his life - he wouldn't be in a good place.

**Well, can you at least send me a text every so often, just so I know you're ok?**

**I'll do my best Chuck, but no promises.**

***

In a nondescript Pasadena office building, six men gathered around a table in a dimly-lit room, staring at a picture of a young man with curly hair.

"You're sure this was one of the agents involved in the operation that cost us Ben Lo and the others?" asked the leader.

"Positive," said one of his subordinates, "There is no mistaking him with his curly hair or puny build. He is the one who captured our associates with the blonde, the ape, and the traitor."

"Then we will pay him a visit," grunted the first. "How can we isolate him?”

"He seems to be employed as a technical support associate at an electronics chain store, a Buy More, where the ape is also employed. The blonde seems to work at a fast food restaurant in the same service plaza," responded a third, leaning into the conversation.

"Then it will be easy to get him away from the store and his support team. Call tomorrow and request his services for a computer problem."

"It will be done."

***

Sarah's anger at Chuck's desire to date someone outside their cover, still rankled him to the point where he wanted nothing to do with their normal lunch cover date. On his way in for his Buy More shift that day, he stopped for some cheeseburgers for lunch.

Walking into the store gave Chuck the usual shivers at what insanity his coworkers might have wrought in his absence. Fortunately, he was able to make his way to the break room without any interruptions or immediate crises. After leaving his lunch in the fridge (clearly marked with his name) he snuck to the Nerd Herd desk to avoid Morgan, Jeff and Lester

The day was going too well, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the pocket protector. A work order was waiting on top of his pile with his name specifically highlighted. It was a request for a network installation complex enough that it would probably take most of his shift. That certainly explained why the customer requested him. As he packed up his case and looked over the work order for more details, he heard a grunt from off to his left by the BeastMasters.

He looked up, "What's up, Casey?"

"Where do you think you're going?" Casey looked angry but, as Chuck reflected, angry was his default setting.

"I have an offsite install today – an actual one. Pretty complicated network installation too. Looks like it’ll take most of the day." He waved the paperwork to emphasize his point.

Casey just grunted. "Ok, I'll go get my bag and get the bearded moron to cover for me."

Chuck stared at him in surprise. "Um, why would you do that, Casey?"

The #11 grunt – translates to 'do I have to explain the importance of the Intersect _again_?'

"Casey, you can't go along. It will completely blow our cover if you go on all of my offsite installs – that or the other denizens of Buymoria will think you and I are sneaking off together."

The naked horror in Casey's eyes at the mere suggestion was enough to chase him off after making Chuck promise to keep his watch and cell phone with him at all times, with the threat of extreme physical violence more than implied. As difficult as it was to escape Casey, he didn't even bother telling Sarah where he was going. He assumed that Casey would tell her himself. Since the work order came through the official Buy More system, he didn't bother telling Big Mike either.

After the drive across town, Chuck pulled his Herder into a nearly empty parking lot. He got out of his car and looked around in surprise. Usually on a whole-office network install like this, the parking lot was full of employees. As he opened the back door of the Herder to get his tool case out, he saw a shadow behind him. Before he could turn to see who had snuck up on him, he felt an impact on the back of his skull and the world went dark.

***

Carina closed the door of her car as quietly as possible in the deserted parking lot. According to her sources, this office building was the main Triad opium processing facility in Los Angeles. It was nondescript; just another in a line of generic corporate offices. The building was five stories tall with one-way glass windows tinted black, set amid a brown stone exterior. _At least it's something other than a warehouse,_ she thought wryly.

The actual processing equipment was supposed to be in the basement. Her mission was to destroy the facility's capabilities, which would put a huge dent in Triad opium income for the entire West Coast. She slung her backpack over her shoulders and crept along the wall to a door. No cameras – that alone was odd enough to merit a raised eyebrow and some extra caution. She pulled out an electronic lock pick kit and got past the first locked door in a matter of seconds.

Just down the hall was a stairwell. As Carina crept forward, a guard rounded a corner ahead of her. She ducked through a door to a room and held her breath. After a few seconds with no commotion, she looked out – straight into the barrel of a pistol. The guard gestured for her to step out.

As she walked out of the empty room, she smiled seductively at him. As his expression grew confused, she looked over his shoulder and winked. He turned to see what she was winking at and, as he did, she pistol-whipped the back of his skull.

"Dumbass," she grunted. Carina dragged him into the room and behind a desk. Taking out some zip-ties from her pack, she quickly secured his arms and legs, then took off one of his socks and tied it around his head as a gag.

After she searched him, she put his gun and spare magazines into a desk drawer, then took his tactical radio so she could figure out where all the guards were once they noticed this one was missing.

She found a stairway and headed as far down as she could, taking note of the infrequent messages over the radio of guards checking in. Carina followed the signs to the basement, and there she found the opium refining equipment she was told to expect. The machines were dark and idle, with no one working them either, so Carina set to work taking pictures from every angle for later analysis. _I didn't bring enough for just the machines,_ she thought to herself as she looked at the huge room with all its refiners, extractors, and processors; _I'm going to have to try to bring down the whole building to do any real damage._ With that she began placing blocks of C-4 against key ceiling supports. Every so often she would hear barked orders or check-ins over the guard's radio, but none of the communications told her she was in danger of being discovered by a guard patrol.

When she was finished placing the explosives, she set the wireless detonators to program to a detonator hidden in a very…special…place which would hide it from all but the most thorough frisking and headed for the doors again. She made it to the main floor and was on her way to the exit, moving very quickly when she heard muffled noises coming from the vent above her.

Carina found a staircase and drew her Sig. She quietly moved up each stair using the balls of her feet to guard against any creaking. The noises got louder the higher she went, and by the third floor, she could hear the groans and occasional screams of someone being worked over.

She followed the sounds down a hall away from the "hot" end of the building which would collapse first to a closed door without encountering a guard or camera of any kind. _At least I'm not directly above the basement if this goes south in a hurry,_ she thought to herself. Trying the lever and finding it surprisingly unlocked, Carina eased the door closed behind her and silently slipped behind a nearby stack of crates. She took her first look around the dimly-lit room, seeing the back of some poor captive with his arms tied together behind the chair and his legs tied to the front legs. All she could see was the back of a head of curly dark hair. He had two people on either side and two in front of him. One who seemed to be the leader kept pacing back and forth.

***

Sarah checked her watch: 4:59 pm and Chuck still hadn't shown up. She knew he wasn't happy with her, but it wasn't like him to stay away all day. He at least stopped by for lunch to maintain their cover, but today saw no Chuck. Now that her shift was over, Sarah went over to the Buy More to talk to Casey.

Once the automatic doors closed behind her, she sought out Casey in his extremely unflattering green polo shirt. Unsurprisingly, he was in the grilling section, selling yet another BeastMaster to yet another yuppie. Once he was done and the customer took the paperwork to the checkout, she waved him over.

"Have you seen Chuck at all today?" she asked without preamble.

"Yeah, he was here until about 11:30, when he went on an offsite install. Why?"

"Well, he never showed up to lunch and I wanted to make sure he was ok. When are you done here?" Sarah asked with a worried glance around the store.

"Now," Casey grunted, "You think he might be in trouble? He thought this install would take most of the day."

“I just want to be sure. Can you do a scan for his watch when you get home? I'm going to go over to his apartment and see if Ellie's talked to him at all." She dug her keys out of her purse.

Casey grunted and turned, making his way for the break room. "Sure, you're not getting too comfortable here at all," he snarked.

***

Ellie had just sat down after a twelve-hour shift at Westside when the doorbell rang. Growling to herself, she stood up and found Sarah standing on her doorstep. The blonde looked pert and perfect, with her hair pulled into a ponytail (still smelling vaguely of hot dogs), a purple striped top under a black jacket with a pair of dark blue jeans. The way she looked after her work day made Ellie feel like crap, since all she wanted to do was shower and collapse into bed for a week.

"Hi, Sarah! Come on in." Ellie greeted, trying to sound as welcoming as death warmed over possibly could, "What brings you by?"

Sarah's face took on an apologetic look as she stepped inside the apartment at Ellie's invitation, "I'm really sorry to bother you but I was just wondering if you'd heard from Chuck since he left for work. He didn't show up for our usual lunch date today."

Ellie looked concerned as they sat down, she blissfully back on the sofa and Sarah in an easy chair. "No, I haven't seen or heard from him since he left. He probably had to go plug someone's mouse in; you know how he gets with those service calls." She never knew what to make of her brother's relationship with Sarah. Sometimes it was like nothing could keep the two of them apart physically, and other times it almost seemed like they were forcing their affections. "Sarah, I hope you don't mind me asking, and I'm trying not to meddle, but are things between you and my brother going ok? I never get any answer from him other than 'it's complicated'."

Sarah had to school her features to how she thought a real girlfriend should appear at this stage of a real relationship. "Things are going fine, Ellie. Why do you ask?"

Ellie sighed, sitting back up. "It just seems like things are so hot-and-cold between you two. When you think no one is looking, you both give each other these longing glances, and it seems like you’re meant to be together; but other times it's almost like you’re strangers to each other. I just don't get it."

Sarah looked down at the coffee table. "I know we have a sort of unusual relationship, but I promise you, I care very much about your brother. As much as you hate hearing this and I hate saying it, things can be complicated for us. We're still learning about each other, you know?" She hoped this would be the end of Ellie's interrogation. CIA training had never covered anything like an inquisitive, protective older sister.

Ellie looked skeptical, but let it slide. Something was definitely off about their answers, and Sarah's body language screamed of evasion, but she was too tired to pursue it right now. "Sorry, Sarah. I haven't seen or heard from Chuck. Have you tried calling him? He might have his cell phone with him."

Just at that moment Sarah's phone vibrated, and she looked at the screen out of Ellie's line of sight. Her pulse quickened at Casey's text, but her training kicked in and she closed it before Ellie could notice: **Code Black. Get over here ASAP.**

"I think you're right. Actually here's a text from him now. He wants to meet me for dinner," she flashed Ellie a warm smile, hoping it would cover the lie, "thank you so much Ellie!"

Sarah nearly ran out of the apartment and away from the inquisition, stopping only to go around the fountain. Just in case Ellie was watching her, it would look like she went out to the parking lot and not over to John Casey's. Without knocking she pushed the door open and rushed inside. "What the hell is going on, Casey?"

Casey was sitting at a desk with two monitors. He had one cell phone in his hand and was reaching for another one. Two automatic pistols were out in front of him, and he'd strapped on a Kevlar vest. "I traced your boy toy's GPS tracker to an office building in this area," he gestured to one of the monitors, "I pulled up some traffic cameras and found this," pointing at the other screen, "here's a Nerd Herder, and here's a tall, thin man in a white shirt and black pants standing beside the car looking at a building. In the next shot, there's a person dressed in black behind the Nerd Herder. In the final shot, the geek is gone, but there are four people in black standing around the car."

Sarah's pulse started to race as she leaned over Casey's shoulder. "Chuck's been taken," she gasped.

"It gets worse," Casey said in a tone that from anyone else would sound sympathetic, "This is the same building from just a few minutes ago." Sarah leaned back in and felt her pulse stop before she dashed out Casey's door.

Casey turned, expecting to see the shocked CIA agent, but instead only saw her back as she slammed his door behind her.

***

"You're being a very rude guest, Mr. Carmichael," the thug in front growled, "I expected some answers by now. Who do you work for?" He followed this question with a sickening body blow. As he drew his hands back, Carina could see he had some brass knuckles, and she shuddered for the prisoner.

"I gave you that answer already," the man gasped out in a voice weakened by pain, "I work at the Burbank Buy More.” Carina's eyes got huge. _No way. Can't be him._ “You know that already; you called in the work order. What more do you want?"

"What I want, Mr. Carmichael - ,” punctuated with another blow to the ribs, “ - is to know who you really work for. You may not be a spy, but you were involved in the capture of Ben Lo Pan and our other colleagues. You can deny all you want, but we know you worked with the American spies and the traitorous whore. You will not leave this place in one piece unless you answer my question."

Another thug ran into the room, from a side door Carina hadn't seen, before she ducked further into the shadows. The leader looked menacingly at Chuck and stepped around him to deal with the new man in the room.

"There's a car in the parking lot," he breathlessly informed his superior. Carina cursed and quietly drew her Sig and screwed the silencer in place. As the goons started running in all directions, the first one spun the chair around, revealing none other than Chuck Bartowski, to Carina's dismay.

A thousand questions flashed through her head, but she shoved them to the side and focused on the immediate problem: how to get him to safety. She'd only seen six of the Triad thus far. Four had streamed out to look for her, leaving the leader and one other in the room. Both had a gun out, looking for the threat. Carina immediately decided to take out the closer of the two and then see if she could intimidate the head thug into at least letting Chuck go.

She lined up her sights carefully and shot twice, dropping the lower-ranking lowlife like a puppet. The leader spun around at the sound, running over to see what happened. When he reached the goon's body, Carina stepped out from behind the crate pile pointing her gun directly at his heart.

"Drop your gun. NOW!" she commanded. He grinned malevolently in response. Chuck's rasping breath caught in surprise before he grimaced in obvious pain. His hair was a mess, his nose was broken and the front of his starched cotton shirt was covered in the blood that had dripped out. What wasn't stained red had scuff marks all over it from the body blows. Chuck's breathing was coming in short huffs, which Carina thought meant he had at least one broken or cracked rib. His arms looked bruised and one of his legs was cocked at a strange angle.

"Do you honestly think you're getting out of this alive?" he asked. "I have four men searching for you. How are you going to escape with a wounded prisoner?"

Carina sighed when she heard a gun cock behind her left ear and grimaced in apparent defeat. She lowered her weapon, which the new guy behind her took from her hand before pushing her roughly toward the interrogator. "Now," the leader said, "you will join Mr. Carmichael here." He dragged another chair over and put it next to Chuck's.

She sat down as gestured, and when the leader drew his fist back, she rolled her eyes. "Really? You're not even going to frisk me? If you're going to work me over and then kill me, at least give a girl one last thrill." Chuck coughed and looked at her through swollen eyes like she was insane, but when he saw her face he caught the ghost of a wink.

The thug grunted and, to Chuck's surprise, squatted down. First he checked her ankles for a holstered weapon. Finding none, he started moving up her calves and then up her thighs. "Um, hold on slugger," Carina warned, "I didn't say you could try for third base. The least you could do is buy a girl dinner before that."

The man looked her in the eye with a sneer. "Do you ever shut up?" He moved to cup her groin, just to teach the chatty bitch who was really in charge. "Hell-o!" Carina said as his fingers unwittingly pressed the detonator she'd hidden in the crotch of her pants.

The entire building shook with a huge _whump_ as the explosives Carina placed earlier all went off. The thug pitched forward, right onto the knife she whipped out from the small of her back. She threw him off of her and kicked the chair backwards into the last remaining man, who wasn’t expecting the move. She dropped to the floor, frantically looking for the gun they confiscated from her. Spying it over by the prone body of the man she’d stabbed, she scooted as fast as possible over to it, snatched it up, and then scanned for her last target. He was recovered from the surprise and looking for her as well. Their eyes met, but she was quicker and squeezed off three rounds before he could pull the trigger. His body slumped against a nearby crate.

Carina caught her breath, retrieved her knife from the body it was currently occupying and wiped it clean on his shirt. She cut Chuck free and eased him out of the chair. "Ok Chuck: we're going to have a _very long_ talk, but this isn't really the time or place. Let's get you to a hospital. Then you can tell me what the hell you were doing here." She draped one of his arms around her shoulders. Her other arm went around his waist.

"What the hell was that? Why did the building explode when he…" Chuck gasped through his bruised ribs.

Despite the severity of the situation, Carina smirked. "How many times have I told you that if you tried that same move I'd rock your world too? This time it was just literal," she said with a sly tone.

Chuck started to laugh and then coughed in pain. "Damn! Please don't make me laugh right now, Carina. It hurts too much."

Carina was worried, but pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She needed to be strong for him. "Ok, come on, Chuck. I need you to work with me until we get outside. There are still three more of these thugs out there." _Not to mention, the building is probably going to collapse in on itself any minute now,_ she thought worriedly.

Chuck was able to stand up, leaning heavily on Carina as she slapped a fresh clip into her pistol. She slowly guided him out the door and up the stairs, looking all around for the remaining goons. They made it back to the main reception area of the building before encountering any opposition. As they cleared the front desk, the computer monitor at the guard's desk shattered. She forced Chuck to the floor behind the filing cabinet next to the thin metal secretary’s desk as she eased around the corner, scanning for targets. _There._ Behind the main door, she saw one man sticking out from either side. Thinking quickly, Carina took careful aim and shot out the glass on one side of the door. She quickly ducked behind the desk, and then peeked out when she heard the two men cursing. She grinned to herself at their lack of discipline. The two morons were standing in front of the door. Piece of cake, she thought. Carina took two quick shots at each man. They weren't wearing body armor, not expecting anyone to crash their little torture party, so they dropped like rocks.

She shook her head, but was still on guard for the last threat. She turned, scanning down each hallway and not seeing either of the last two men she’d counted before.

"Carina!" Chuck gasped, looking up.

She followed his line of sight and saw a man taking aim from a walkway above her. Carina leaned forward and fired two shots up through his stomach. With a grunt of pain, he collapsed to the floor. _Safe!_ She thought as she turned her attention back to Chuck, who was struggling to get to his feet.

"That should be all of them, so we can get out of here. We can take my car. Do you have your cell phone?"

"No, they…took it…" He was panting.

_That couldn't be good._ She had to get him to the hospital as soon as she humanly could. Carina took his right arm and threw it over the top of her shoulders again, with her left arm around his waist. She took him to the front door and leaned him against the frame.

After giving Chuck a quick once over, Carina braced his shoulders and looked him squarely in the eye to make sure he understood how serious she was. "Chuck, I need you to stay here while I run and get my car, then we'll get you to the hospital. Just stay here!"

"Ok, but hurry!" he gasped out.

Carina ran off to get her car. She turned to see if he was ok, and the moment her eyes hit him, she heard a shot and Chuck fell backward.

"CHUCK!" she screamed.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight crossover elements with Scrubs. Chuck's wounds are treated with a significant difference between friend and handler.

**Chapter 5**

_Carina ran off to get her car. She turned to see if he was ok, and the moment her eyes hit him, she heard a shot and Chuck fell backward._

" _CHUCK!" she screamed._

***

Carina whirled around and looked for the shooter. Seeing him behind a window admiring his shot, she emptied her clip into the lazy bastard who had not chosen to wear the latest in fall fashion from Kevlar.

Carina raced over to make sure Chuck was still alive. "Come on, Chuck! Stay with me! You are NOT allowed to die right now, got it?" He gasped and was losing color rapidly. She ripped his shirt off, managing to push aside the irrelevant thought that Chuck was far better built than she expected, and frantically tried to staunch the blood flow. Chuck's eyes closed and his breath came in short rasps.

She pulled out her cell phone and called for help to her location, "I need a cleaner team with an ambulance immediately! I'm with a wounded agent who needs help now!" After hanging up she started emergency first aid, taking her jacket and using it as a makeshift pressure bandage.

"Come on, Chuck! Hang in there!" she begged desperately, but it wasn't looking good. Chuck was pale and sweating, and his breath was ragged. She checked his pulse, and though it was faint, it was there. Carina lifted Chuck slightly to check for an exit wound, but there wasn't one. _Oh this is bad. This is very, very bad._

She needed to stabilize his shoulder so neither the bullet nor any bone fragments could shift, doing more damage. Looking around, she found a large sheet of thick glass that had splintered off the window from her shots. She really didn't want to use glass, but the urgency of the situation drove other concerns out of her head, so she lifted Chuck's left shoulder slightly and slid the glass under him.

The few minutes that elapsed between her call and the arrival of the blaring ambulance seemed to stretch into years, all the while Carina was desperately applying every combat first aid technique she had ever been trained in to keep Chuck alive.

As soon as she saw the ambulance, Carina pulled out her gun and her badge. "Federal agent! Show me your identification, NOW!" she screamed.

The bloody hand and weapon worked. The paramedics all raced to show the crazy gun-wielding agent their badges. After calming her fears that the paramedics were somehow Triad scum, Carina allowed them to take over tending to Chuck, but only after demanding to ride in the ambulance with him. None of the paramedics were willing to cross her, so after they got Chuck stabilized enough to load onto a gurney, she followed him into the ambulance's bay.

_These guys are good,_ Carina thought as she watched the paramedics fit an oxygen mask over Chuck's mouth and start an IV catheter for both blood and medicine. They were doing everything humanly possible to save her friend, but she was going to play every card she had to ensure Chuck survived.

When none of the medics were looking directly at her, she reached behind her neck and unclasped her St. Christopher medal that she always wore on missions, wardrobe allowing. Bringing it to her lips, she kissed it and whispered a prayer for the saint to protect Chuck. Then she took Chuck's hand and wove the chain through his fingers, folding them over the medal itself so he wouldn't lose it.

She sat back and as the paramedics worked to save Chuck's life, Carina Miller, the hard-as-nails agent who never blinked at ending a life to accomplish her missions, tried not to freak out. She failed miserably: Chuck had been shot and it was her fault. She didn't account for the last thug. The guilt welled up in her chest along with the tears threatening to overflow from her eyes as she prayed to every patron saint she remembered that they wouldn't be too late for Chuck to reach the surgeons. She heard a noise in the background and realized the driver was playing some kind of ear-gouging heavy metal music and pretending to play the drums as he drove. _What the hell?_

As the ambulance screamed up to the emergency department entrance, Carina realized there wasn't a way to contact Sarah or Casey directly, and explaining her involvement would only lead to more drama for Chuck. She finally gave up and called Director Maxwell.

"Ma'am, I need a favor. I accomplished the mission objectives, but one of the guys from General Beckman's team that I worked with a few weeks ago was captured before I got there. I got him out, but he was wounded in the escape. I don't want to risk calling either of the other agents from that team directly, so I was hoping you could call Beckman and let her know one of her people from L.A. is in a hospital called Sacred Heart…”

Carina looked around, making sure the medics weren’t listening to her call. "You want me to do what? A Nurse Espinoza will have scrubs for me…Yes ma'am, I'll maintain that cover until Agent Casey or Walker arrives, but I won't make contact. Thank you, ma'am." She closed her phone with a grimace and wondered how this was going to work. The paramedics glanced at her but kept their silence, not having the desire to possibly irritate a gun-wielding federal agent protecting a wounded man.

***

Sarah's Porsche flew down the road at speeds that would violate any limits known to man. Her phone buzzed with a text from Casey, telling her the address of Chuck's last known whereabouts. She plugged the location into her GPS system and cursed under her breath when the car told her it would still take half an hour to get there.

Casey wasn't far behind her in his Crown Victoria, but the older, larger car couldn't keep up with her tiny German sports car. He wouldn't show it, but he was worried about Chuck; plus it would look extremely poor for him if the asset was killed while he was unprotected in public. He arrived at the smoking ruin of the building less than a minute behind Walker. The sirens and flashing lights made the GPS unnecessary for the last six blocks, but he was too focused on his goal to turn it off.

Sarah slammed her car door and started sprinting to the building, but the sight of the destruction brought her up short. No one could have survived the collapse of that office building. The walls had toppled in on themselves, the glass had shattered and blown out, and the roof had fallen through to the basement. The police were on scene, but some of them would be the cleaner team Casey called. The same went for the firefighters frantically trying to put out the blaze.

_Chuck is gone,_ she thought to herself. The sense of loss she felt when the thought hit her almost floored her. She hadn't known Chuck for that long, but ever since the little ballerina at the Buy More, Sarah knew he was different. Not that she would ever admit it out loud, especially around Casey, but she had felt herself developing an attachment to Chuck, and the normalcy he brought to her life, but now with him gone…

_No! Do NOT finish that thought, Samantha!_ She mentally slapped herself to refocus as she heard Casey growling, “Snap out of it, Walker. We’ve got work to do.”

***

As soon as the doors flew open, a team of emergency personnel took the gurney and wheeled Chuck as fast as they could through the emergency department doors with Carina following at a close distance. She tried to keep all of her focus on Chuck, but something seemed a little off about this hospital. For one thing, the Hispanic woman in purple scrubs seemed to be angry at the bald, black surgeon in charge of Chuck's care. She kept up a constant mutter of Spanish invective that only Carina's years of tracking the cartels enabled her to follow.

Suddenly, the doctor seemed to notice her presence. He turned, and with a serious look in her direction, he asked: "Wait, hold up. Who are you and why are you coming into this area?"

She took a deep breath and came up with a cover story that was mostly truthful: "I'm a federal agent, and this man was wounded at a crime scene. To protect his identity and ensure his safety, I have to go wherever he goes."

He looked at her with one eyebrow raised before speaking with what Carina thought was a completely over-the-top level of bravado. "My O.R. is totally secure and locked-down, know what I'm sayin'? Your boy's gonna be fine."

"Yeah, well I've seen people kidnapped out of and killed in O.Rs before. So if you'll excuse me, I go where he goes." Chin up and defiant, she challenged the doctor.

"You go girl, don't let him give you any crap," Carina heard from the Hispanic nurse, though she didn't acknowledge the comment with anything more than a brief turn of her head.

She looked the surgeon squarely in the eye, and willed him to understand her when she said, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to get in the middle of anything, but I really have to protect this man. What do I need to do to be able to go with him?"

"You know what? No, I don't think you really are some fancy-pants federal agent," the doctor challenged with a wave of his hand before slipping a dollar-bill patterned bandana over his head. "Do you have any ID, badge, or anything that proves that you are?"

Carina rolled her eyes. Arguing with this idiot wasn't going to get Chuck treated faster. As she started to dig out her badge again, the nurse started screaming at the doctor that his childish stubbornness was going to kill the patient. Carina thought she heard the nurse ask what the surgeon would do to save his pasty-white male life partner upstairs, but it made no sense so her mind ignored it. The surgeon turned and started to apologize to Carina when he caught sight of her badge and mentally shut down.

"Um, I-I am so s-sorry," he stammered, "Nurse Espinoza will show you to a room where you can change into scrubs. We'll take good care of your boy in there. We just have to get him stabilized so I know what I'm dealing with before I can slice and dice him, you know what I'm sayin'?"

Carina's head snapped around at the name. _She was the DEA's contact at the hospital? Looks like my luck is turning, finally!_ Nurse Espinoza grimaced at the doctor's antics and turned to Carina, taking her elbow. "While my dimwit boyfriend preps your…friend…let me take you to the changing room. We can get you some scrubs so you won't contaminate the operating room." So saying, she took Carina through a double door and into a locker room.

Once through the door, Carina sat heavily on a wooden bench and looked at the wall of lockers, trying to collect herself. Nurse Espinoza faced her with her hands on her hips. "So, you're the DEA agent I was told to prep for, right?" Carina looked at her and nodded wearily. The nurse turned and started digging a pair of scrubs out of one of the lockers. "I don't appreciate the government coming in and telling me that some agent whose name they wouldn't give me was going to barge in on one of our surgeries," Carina started to speak, but the nurse cut her off, "Now, _I_ have to take time away from _my_ regular job to babysit someone who probably doesn't even know a scalpel from a suction hose during major surgery just so she won't accidentally kill the patient."

Carina's eye twitched at the accusation in her voice. "Are you finished judging me?" The nurse folded her arms across her chest and waited. "This wasn't exactly my first choice for evening entertainment either. That man in there is a friend of mine, so thank you for reminding me that it was my fault he got shot. You don't have to worry about babysitting me either. I'm certified in trauma and internal medicine. I can hold my own in an O.R."

Nurse Espinoza blinked in surprise, then her glare softened. Whatever she was expecting, it hadn't been that outpouring. "At least you'll be ok in the OR. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for snapping at you, and that your friend is hurt."

Carina rubbed her knees. "Thanks," she said softly. The nurse handed her the set of scrubs and pointed her to a private area without any further words. After she'd changed and scrubbed the blood and dirt off of her hands and arms, the nurse (whose name was Carla, Carina noticed on her hospital ID) took her into the operating room.

She'd seen people bleeding and in surgery before, but it had never been someone she cared about. It had never been her fault someone she really cared about was in surgery. Carina stared at Chuck lying on the operating table, with all the tubes and machines and pumps that accompany an operation. She barely held it together.

She had to admit the bald man was a masterful surgeon. The delicacy of his touch as he removed the bullet, sewed up the severed blood vessels, and stabilized the shattered bones in Chuck’s shoulder with two screws and a pin was amazing to watch. Poor Chuck would set off airport metal detectors for the rest of his life, but he couldn't have been in better hands.

Once it was over, Carina turned and started walking out of the OR, only to be stopped just outside by another surgeon with flames on his bandana, his scrub sleeves torn off, and an oddly-shaped tattoo saying "DOC" on his right arm. "Hello there," he said, "I see you just came out of my favorite OR. I do some really good work in there, but my bedroom, that's where I really operate." He laughed and raised an arm, looking for someone to high-five, but seeing none, turned his attention back to Carina. "So how about we go slip out of these scrubs and into some sheets in the on-call room?"

If it hadn't been for the day she'd had, Carina probably would have ignored him like most of the other bad pickup attempts, but the adrenaline from stress and fear coursing through her system took over, and before he knew what hit him, the doctor was on the floor gasping in pain, watching Carina step over him and keep going.

***

After the surgery, the orderlies wheeled Chuck up to the ICU where he had a private room. Carina knew she didn't have much time to watch over him before Sarah and Casey descended on the hospital. As she walked up to his bed, she overheard shouting and looked around for the potential emergency. All she saw was a tall doctor with pointed hair yelling orders and girls' names at a younger male doctor. Said younger doctor was trying not to look frazzled, while the Hispanic nurse from earlier looked on with a mixture of amusement and irritation at the scene in front of her.

The nurse, Carla, shooed the nervous young doctor away, saying "Why don't you go check his vitals and make sure he's stable, Bambi?"

_First girls' names and now Bambi? It fit_ , Carina thought with a sideways glance, _He's so nervous and skittish. If I yelled 'boo!' he'd probably go through the ceiling_. The doctor – whose name was John Dorian, she saw on his ID as he passed, walked into Chuck's room and started reading his chart. Just as the curly-haired shouter turned his attention to Carina, a blonde doctor ran up talking in a pitch and at a speed that only Carina's years of language training enabled her to translate:

"Oh my gosh! I heard you're like this super-awesome federal agent! Carla told me you're this badass who even kicked The Todd's balls for being a creeper! That is so awesome!"

"Um, thank you?" Carina's eyes couldn't grow any larger at the verbal onslaught, and she moved to brace herself against a nearby counter.

The blonde doctor squealed in delight at Carina's acknowledgement. Cutting into her joy, however, was Doctor Douchebag. He whistled so loudly that Carina half-expected bodies in the hospital's morgue sat up and took notice. "Barbie! It's time to put your big girl pants on and go back to work treating these patients who, God help them, actually need you to live! Why in the name of all that is holy are you bothering this pitiful excuse for an agent when she's already had a bad enough day? I mean, come on, she already let this man get shot; does she really need you badgering her with your special hyper mouse language?"

Carina's eyes flashed at having her failures pointed out by this irritating doctor in the same breath as he verbally abused his subordinate. As the blonde doctor scampered off, Carina's right hand slipped behind her back to grasp the handle of the pistol in the waistband of her scrub pants.

The doctor folded his arms and stood in what she only guessed he thought was a commanding pose. "Now that all the minions have skedaddled I finally have the opportunity to tell you to get the hell,” Carina stepped back a little when he drew out the word hell into ten syllables, “out of my ICU."

Carina blinked at his rudeness. "Any particular reason I should listen to you? Other than the whole crazy-eyed serial killer look you have going there, I mean."

He actually unfolded his arms and brushed the side of his nose with his left index finger. "Listen toots: you don't belong here. You're not an attending, nurse, resident, intern, janitor, or even Ted. You're in the way and you'll be responsible for getting more people killed than just your little GSW victim in there."

At his accusation, her right hand gripped the pistol and cocked the hammer back; when she spoke, it was in a dark voice that warned her audience of imminent danger in the same way a rattlesnake's rattle warns nearby animals of the threat. "I am responsible for the safety of that man until I'm relieved by my superiors. I will stay in his room and out of the way, but I'm not going anywhere. Look at it this way," she added in an attempt to be reasonable, "I'm a certified nurse myself. You won't even need to post one of your own to take care of him. I can handle that myself."

The doctor growled at her effort to stand up for herself. "You don't make the rules here, honey. I do, and I say you need to get out, now. Now. We can use our own, real nurses to take care of the patient."

His curls bounced as he cocked his head behind Carina at the elevators. As he walked up to guide her out, she was waiting for him. When he reached out to grab her shoulder and spin her around, she grabbed his wrist, applied a pressure he never would have believed from a woman like her, and then bent it around behind him. As he gasped in pain, she kicked the side of his knee and on his way down slammed him chest first into the counter.

"You need to learn some manners, _doctor_ ," she gritted through her teeth. As she continued to force him against the desk, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the leather folder containing her federal identification for what felt like the hundredth time since Chuck got shot. She shoved it in front of his face, saying "Do you see this? This badge says I am an agent of the United States of America. You may run this ward like your own personal kingdom, but that doesn't include me. I'll stay out of your way, but I'm staying with this man until my superiors inform me that I am no longer needed. I don't need your commentary on my skills, either. Do we understand each other?"

The doctor was grimacing in so much pain he could only nod. "Good. Now, I'm going to sit in the corner of the room, out of the way, and you're not going to bother me." She released his arm, allowing him to slump to the floor in pain.

As Carla called Dr. Turk to come up to take a look at the doctor Carina maimed, a brunette woman who was not in scrubs and looked to be in her mid- or late-thirties came up with a look of glee on her face. "I just have to thank you; that was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I can't wait to remind him over and over about how a much smaller woman royally kicked his butt around the ICU."

Carina gaped at the woman. "Um, thanks? Why are you so happy about me humiliating him? I really didn't enjoy that, but I need to stay with my protectee in there."

The woman waved her off like it was nothing. "Oh, that's just my husband. Don't worry sweetie, you did fine. He needs to learn his place."

Carina, in the middle of swallowing, choked a little and stammered in surprise. "Y-Your husband? Wow, I'm sorry for hurting him like that but…"

The strange woman waved her off again. "Uh-uh-uh, no apologies! That was great! I'm thinking about asking you to teach me that move. You know…for the bedroom." With that, she sauntered off to gloat in the injured doctor's face.

Carina just stared in shock. _What kind of hospital was this?_ She'd never seen a physical example of the phrase "inmates running the asylum" before, but this hospital was starting to seem that way. _Would Chuck even be safe here?_

Just as she turned to go back into Chuck's room, an older, shorter doctor in a lab coat came up, followed closely by a balding, sweaty man in a suit who carried a briefcase. "Good evening, miss. I'm Doctor Bob Kelso, Chief of Medicine here at Sacred Heart. This is Ted, the hospital's resident attorney. He has a few forms I need you to sign, as a federal law enforcement officer bringing in a witness to a crime. They're just the standard liability indemnification forms we have for events such as these and…" he stopped when Carina raised a hand in his face.

"I have nothing to do with those forms, Dr. Kelso. For that you have to call the administrative staff of the Los Angeles FBI office."

"Now, listen, young lady, I need those forms signed by the time you leave and that is non-negotiable!" He even lowered his chin to make it seem like he was being more intimidating.

Carina almost laughed in his face. "Are you actually threatening a federal agent? Your paperwork is not my problem. I told you who to get in touch with. Now leave me alone; I need to stand watch over my…partner." _As good a title as any for Chuck right now,_ she thought. As she walked past the two strange men to Chuck's room, she almost didn't see the sweaty one stare at her with longing. It took every ounce of her training to suppress the shudder.

***

Carina looked down at Chuck in his bed. His color had improved dramatically, as had his breathing. He opened his eyes and smiled weakly up at her. Her guilt that he got shot because she hadn't taken care of the last Triad goon made the bile rise in her throat. It was her fault he’d been unconscious. It was her fault he had a hole in his shoulder. It was her fault he was in the hospital. Every drip of narcotics into his IV bag, every beep of the EKG monitor, and every stitch in his shoulder was her fault.

She sat next to his bed and laid her head on his non-injured shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Chuck," she whispered. A single tear rolled down her cheek, soon followed by dozens more as the tide of adrenaline finally ebbed, leaving her bereft and empty. The unshakeable agent who once said a spy never got close to anyone sobbed herself to sleep on the shoulder of someone she was rapidly considering one of her only true friends in the world.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

_“We’ll always have Omaha.”_

***

Chuck slowly swam back to consciousness. He felt fuzzy, like he was floating on a cloud of marshmallows. He started by opening his eyes. _Success! Baby steps_. When he tried turning his head to the left, he felt something blocking the movement. _Ok_. Since the left was blocked, he tried turning his head to the right. This time he was able to do a full turn. He noticed something weighing down his shoulder, and upon focusing his eyes, which was another struggle, glimpsed a mass of copper-colored hair. That was interesting. His shoulder didn’t have a mass of copper-colored hair before. That must not be his. Chuck tried to shake off the drug-induced funk and learn more about where he was.

With what seemed to be a Herculean effort, he forced clarity into his brain. He was in a hospital room. There was a window to his left, a door to his right, and an IV stand dripping a steady flow of a clear liquid into a bag attached to his left arm. His left shoulder seemed to be immobilized. A TV on the wall directly in front of him was playing ESPN. _Oh good. At least I won’t flash on anything the Dodgers are doing. Hopefully._

He felt something cool and metal in his left hand. Looking down, he saw some kind of metal chain wrapped around his fingers. _Hmm, interesting. I wonder what that is._ The fuzziness of anesthesia impaired his ability to feel too much concern, so Chuck started gazing around at more of his environment.

Time to reinvestigate the mass of hair on his shoulder. Looking over again, he saw the hair start to slowly move back and forth as if the person the hair was attached to was waking up slowly. Since it wasn’t Sarah, the only other person it could be was…Carina!

With her name jumping to the forefront of his consciousness the memories of the previous night flooded back. She saved his life! Carina had rescued him – he still wanted to know how she was even there – when the Triad goons tossed his phone out the car window, leaving no signal for Casey and Sarah to hone in on.

_Sarah_. After the last few days would she even notice he was gone? Would Casey even care? Probably not; he’d be able to get out of Burbank at least.

“Hey, Carina,” he said with some effort, “How are you feeling?”

Carina lifted her head as he stirred, wincing as the dried snot from her crying jag stuck to his blanket. _Crying yourself to sleep on Chuck’s bed probably wasn’t the smoothest move, Miller. Either for an agent or a girl._ Her heart broke a little bit more at his concern for her wellbeing, despite his own wound being the reason either of them were there.

“I’m fine,” she said with a raspy voice, forcing down the urge to break down sobbing again on his arm in remorse. “How are you doing? You’re the one recovering from surgery.”

He didn’t miss the snot sticking her to his arm, but didn’t want to embarrass her by calling attention to it. Still, it was one more example of Carina’s honesty compared to Sarah. With Carina, what you saw was what you got. She told him the truth from the first day, from her desire to sleep with him to Sarah’s past with Bryce. Sarah wore her ‘agent mask’ twenty-four hours a day and lied or ignored every time he asked her about her true feelings.

“My shoulder hurts like hell. I guess the DEA-approved drugs haven’t kicked in yet,” he said with a weak chuckle. “What are you still doing here? Don’t you have to leave before Sarah and Casey get here?”

“I had to make sure you gave me the diamond you still owe me,” she patted his non-wounded shoulder as she sat up, “so what do you remember?” Carina felt the crick in her neck from the night spent in an awkward position, but she refused to call attention to a slight discomfort when Chuck was laying there with a gunshot wound because of her carelessness.

Chuck looked around for any bugs, belatedly realizing that if the room had been bugged, he’d never see them. “Are we safe in here? Can we talk?”

Carina glanced at the door. “I’ll keep an eye out for anyone coming in, especially the two creepy doctors that I maimed.”

Chuck’s eyebrows flew up to his hairline. “Someday I really need to hear that story. Um, I hate to ask, but why are you in scrubs?”

She looked down at her scrubs, well wrinkled from hours laying half on Chuck’s bed sleeping. “Well, I had to blend in somehow, and I’m trained as a nurse. The DEA got me in here covered as your personal nurse for the hospital stay. I don’t really want anyone knowing who I am, so it works.”

Chuck smiled weakly. “Ok. Now, do you know anything about this metal chain wrapped around my fingers?” He nodded in the general direction of his left hand.

Carina flushed a little bit and looked down at her fingers. “That’s my—,” she huffed out a breath, composing herself and thinking about how to phrase her thoughts, “that’s my St. Christopher medal. I’ve had it since I was a little girl. I’ve always worn it, except when I have to wear some slinky dress on a mission. He’s supposed to look out for travelers and I just…I just thought he would look after you if I gave you my medal and kept praying and…”

Chuck cut her anxious rambling off with a smile. “Thanks, Carina. That really means a lot. He must have been working overtime, right?” He was deeply touched. Carina had shared something intensely personal simply because she was worried about him. He tried to hand it to her, saying, “Here, I think you should have it back now.”

She smiled wanly at his gallant gesture. “Hang onto it. He’ll keep you safe for me. For now, you’re going to be ok. As goofy as the doctors here are, they’re taking good care of you.” She stifled another sniffle as her cell phone buzzed. She held it so that Chuck couldn’t see the screen, saw that it was Maxwell, and turned the phone off. She’d deal with that particular mess later. Right now, Chuck was more important.

Chuck’s eyes got huge. “Doctors! Ellie and Awesome must be freaking out by now!” He tried to get up out of bed, but with one shoulder still healing from a gunshot wound and several broken ribs, it was a short effort. He grunted in pain.

Carina gently pushed him back to the elevated bed and held him in place. “Chuck, you have to relax or that shoulder won’t ever heal. I’ll take care of your sister. Just give me your apartment’s number and I’ll call and tell her you were caught in a mugging and the paramedics brought you here.”

He looked at her with a grateful smile and told her the landline number. “Thanks, Carina.”

She smiled down at him and ruffled his hair. “It’s the least I could do, Chuck. I’m really sorry for not paying close enough attention and getting you shot.” Carina pulled her cell phone back out and dialed the number Chuck gave her.

“Hello?” a female voice asked with some trepidation.

Chuck looked on in some amusement as Carina took a breath to compose herself and started, “Hello? Is this Dr. Eleanor Bartowski?”

“Yes, who is this?” Carina heard some clattering in the background, as if the doctor was cooking.

“Dr. Bartowski, this is Nurse Carmichael at Sacred Heart Hospital. I’m calling about your brother Charles.”

_Oh shit,_ Chuck thought to himself in the hospital bed, _she heard my other name. That_ _will be a fun conversation to have someday._

Carina heard a gasp from the other end of the call. “What happened? Is Chuck ok?”

“Char- Chuck is going to be fine, eventually. Right now, he’s at Sacred Heart. It seems he,” Carina flashed Chuck a wicked smirk that had him wondering what further complications she was going to introduce into his life, “was visiting his girlfriend…a Miss Sarah Walker…at the Weinerlicious when thieves staged an armed robbery. Miss Walker hid behind the counter and refused to hand over any money, so the burglars beat your brother and on the way out fired a shot which hit him in the shoulder.”

Ellie dropped the pan she was using to cook – even Chuck could hear it through Carina’s speaker. “Oh my gosh! I’ll be right there! Thank you!” Carina’s phone stopped as Ellie hung up. Chuck just hung his head.

“You have no idea how much trouble that’s going to start,” he said with a reproachful look.

Carina just continued to smirk as she brushed some hair off of his forehead. “Oh, Chuck. You know me better than that by now; I know _exactly_ how much trouble I just started for Sarah. Serves her right for lying to you the way she has,” the smirk lost some of its cockiness as she continued, “I need to go get a copy of your file, since part of my cover is that I’m your nurse here.”

His eyes widened. “My file? You’re going to read my file?”

She took on mock seriousness to make him feel better. “Of course I’m going to read your file! I’m a fully trained nurse. For all intents and purposes, I will _be_ your nurse until Casey and Sarah get here. Are you looking forward to your sponge bath as much as I am?” she finished with a lascivious wink.

Chuck’s eyes widened in mortification – he hadn’t considered that he would even be getting a sponge bath yet, much less from Carina. He filed away the knowledge that she was a nurse for later consideration.

She chuckled at his reaction. “Oh, don’t worry! Everything personal like sponge bathing is going to be done by someone who doesn’t know you. All that HIPAA stuff. I’m just going to be your primary nurse as far as your sister is concerned. You can stop worrying that I’m going to get a glance at the Nadan-i-Noor of your own family jewels.” The chuckle turned into an outright belly laugh at the look on Chuck’s face. Carina felt grateful for the distraction from her guilt.

_She should never stop laughing,_ Chuck thought to himself through his embarrassment, _Her laugh is the most musical thing I’ve ever heard._

When Carina regained her composure again after several minutes, she checked all his vitals – _very professionally_ , he noticed – and excused herself to get coffee at the nurse’s station, where she could still keep an eye on him through his room’s windows.

***

Ellie ran into Chuck’s room, dragging Devon by the hand. Not even Captain Awesome was awesome enough to keep up with Ellie when her little brother was hurt. “Chuck!” she exclaimed as she saw the various machines and bandages holding her brother in one piece, “Are you ok?”

Chuck spared a glance at Carina as she slipped in the door. He weakly chuckled. “Yeah, Ellie. They’re taking good care of me here – especially the nurses. They’ve been…awesome,” Devon grinned and gave Chuck a soft high five, in deference to his wound, “The doctor said it wasn’t even that bad. I’ll just need a little therapy when they cut me loose and I’m going to be fine.”

Thus reassured, Ellie went into overprotective-sister/doctor mode and started reading his chart. Chuck saw her nod several times as she scanned down the papers. “Ok. They’re doing everything they should be for you,” she said. Carina started checking his vitals again. “Oh, I’m sorry Nurse…?”

“Carmichael,” Carina said with the barest hint of a wink at Chuck.

“Nurse Carmichael,” Ellie continued with a warm smile, “Thank you so much for taking such good care of my brother. He hasn’t been too much trouble, has he? That irrational fear of needles used to give his doctors fits.”

Chuck tried to shrink into the bed. _Maybe if I wish hard enough, I can just disappear. Thanks for making me feel six years old again, Ellie._ Carina saw his embarrassment and took pity on him. “Oh no, Dr. Bartowski; he’s been a perfect patient, and the whole staff has been fighting to take care of the hero.”

Chuck’s embarrassment turned to gratitude at Carina’s salvaging his character. Ellie looked at her in shock. “The hero?”

Carina poured it on some more as she attached a blood pressure cuff to Chuck’s non-wounded arm. The machine started whirring as it registered one of his vital signs. “Oh yes. We all heard about how he dove in front of his girlfriend to protect her from the burglars. He took a bullet for her! That’s so sweet and brave!” She batted her eyes in a flirting gesture that Chuck wasn’t sure was real or fake.

Ellie handed the chart to Devon with a meaningful look and the tall blond surgeon nodded in comprehension as he looked it over. “Ok, Chuck, I’m going to check out the work the surgeons did on you, so I need you to just lay really still for now.” Devon moved behind the head of Chuck’s bed and gingerly undid the tape holding the gauze in place examining the scar and staples holding Chuck’s shoulder together. “Awesome work. The doc who sewed you back up is a top-flight surgeon, bro.” Ellie nodded at this pronouncement like she expected nothing else.

_High praise from the Captain,_ Chuck reflected as he bit down on an urge to wheeze in pain. Wheezing would only set his sister off even more. As Devon eased him back down, Ellie started in again. “So really, what happened, little brother? Did Sarah hide behind you or did you jump in front of her?”

Carina hid a smirk, seeing Chuck’s obvious discomfort with Ellie’s accusatory tone. Chuck spared a glance at Carina, but she had buried herself in the various machines monitoring his condition, so he was on his own with the cover she’d spun. “Well sis, Sarah was really…scared…and since she was behind the counter, she just dove for cover. I actually tried to talk the guys out of robbing the place. I mean, come on, how much cash could a Weinerlicious really have on hand? But, they weren’t really in the mood to listen, so…yeah, pretty much what Nurse Carmichael,” – he shot a look at Carina again as she covered a snort with a cough – told you is the truth.”

Ellie took all this in with a growing look of disgust. “Great, so she dives behind the counter, leaving you to face these guys all by yourself? What a caring girlfriend she is…and where is she? Has she been in yet?” The doctor spat this last out with almost tangible menace.

Chuck cringed a little, but with the story Carina told Ellie, he was stuck. “Calm down, sis. It’s tough to react well in situations like that. I’m going to be fine, you both said so. No, she hasn’t been here yet. I think she’s still recovering from the attack.”

Ellie harrumphed. She wasn’t satisfied with Chuck’s explanation, but she let it slide. She’d deal with Sarah later.

Carina checked her watch, and with a meaningful look at Chuck, said “Ok, Mr. Bartowski. I need to get going. The new staff will be here soon, and they’ll take good care of you.”

Chuck caught all of the meanings under that statement and nodded quietly. “Thank you for taking such good care of me, Miss Carmichael. I appreciate it more than you know.” He took her hand and squeezed it.

Carina flushed as she looked down at her shoes. Ellie didn’t miss her expression, but she didn’t know what it meant either. She decided to let it go for now and focus on talking to the little brother that she almost lost that day.

Carina looked up with a smirk. She had to have a _little_ more fun before she left him. Taking a card out of her pocket, she scribbled on the back and handed it to Chuck delicately. “Here’s my card, Chuck. Call me if you ever need some _personal_ medical attention.” The smolder she put into her voice had the two doctors looking at her in surprise. She dropped Chuck a wink and walked out of the room, making sure to put as much sway in her hips as she could.

Once she made it to the nurse’s station, she looked back and saw Chuck smile at something his sister said, but the pain in his face was evident even across the hall. Carina grabbed Chuck’s chart and hid in a corner, using the folder to hide her tears. It was still her fault he was in there.

***

Ellie and Devon looked at Chuck in astonishment. The redheaded nurse had looked almost like she was about to mount Chuck right in his bed. Chuck was only slightly less surprised, as he knew who she really was and thus knew her better than the other two. When he looked at the card she gave him, he couldn’t help but smile. _“Have fun with that one, Mr. Carmichael.”_

Lost in his thoughts, Chuck almost missed Ellie asking him, “Seriously, Chuck, hasn’t Sarah ever been here at all?”

He shook his head gently. “No, El. I tried calling her but her phone went right to voice mail. I guess she’ll be by later.”

Devon chimed in, “Totally not awesome, bro. She should be here with you.”

Chuck nodded, “I know, Devon, I know. She’ll be here, I promise.”

Once Chuck’s eyes started drooping and he started yawning as much as his injured rib cage would allow, Ellie and Devon decided to call it a day, promising to swing by the next day with all his comic books, his PSP, and anything else they could think of to keep him entertained. Chuck smiled at them on their way out the door, and then closed his eyes and let the medicine work its magic.

***

Chuck had just fallen back asleep when Sarah not quite ran in, closely trailed by a very frightened Carla. She could only imagine the crowd a fight between the scary redhead and the devastating blonde would draw.

“No! You can’t go in there…!” She trailed off as she saw the intimidating redheaded agent/ nurse was nowhere to be found. “Oh, well…never mind.” Carla beat a hasty retreat back to the nurse’s station to observe the new visitor.

Behind her, she heard Dr. Cox remark to Elliot, “Wow, Barbie. Now, I want you to observe her very closely. That’s what you would look like if you had anything remotely resembling self-confidence.” Elliot responded with a hurt whimper and slunk off to cry in the supply closet. Carla felt bad for her, but watching the special patient’s new visitor took priority over Elliot’s daily emotional beat-down.

Sarah walked up to Chuck’s bed and looked down at his sleeping form. The past day had drained her. The asset was safe, and so was her job. Almost as important – her friend was safe. Those three thoughts were the only clear ideas in her mind; the rest of her thought process swirled incoherently, veering from one extreme emotion to the other.

_What happened to me?_ She wondered to herself. _Why can’t I think clearly around him anymore? Maybe I should ask for reassignment._ As soon as that thought formed she shoved it away. She wouldn’t voluntarily request reassignment. She was the only force keeping Chuck from the bunker.

The paralyzing fear she felt when Casey told her Chuck might have died was another clue she was becoming compromised, and she felt the grasp on her meteoric career slipping. She was in enough trouble already. Graham was never pleased the Andersons made their cover real. Then, when Bryce went and blew up the alpha Intersect before sending it to a civilian, it was a second strike on her record. If Graham thought she was compromised with an asset…he’d transfer her to Lower Patagonia to count sheep, if he didn’t fire her first.

When she heard Chuck was at a building that had blown up, the fear sunk like a rock in her stomach, threatening to choke her. The only thing that allowed her to force it back and go on with saving someone who had become the only friend she had outside the spy world was the desire to see his smile again. The smile that made her stomach flutter and warmed countless empty nights.

The warm welcome she’d received from his sister and her boyfriend went against everything she’d ever known, even before her time with the Agency. Her father always told her that people were only interested in themselves and what they could take from you, but Chuck, Ellie, and Devon were living proof that wasn’t always the case, and she had no idea how to handle them. The way they included her as a part of their family was testing her ingrained training to its limits.

_Don’t form attachments. Attachments compromise agents. Compromised agents get distracted. Distracted agents are a danger to themselves and their assets._ She repeated the mantra, trying to re-center herself. What happened wasn’t her fault. It was a faked service call, and her stupid hot-dog-serving cover wouldn’t have allowed her to go with him anyway. Still, she shuddered to think what Graham would say about the way the asset was isolated so easily. The shudder continued as she thought about what losing Chuck would mean for her career and her life.

Before her training could fully kick in and stop it, a single tear rolled down her left cheek as she looked down at Chuck’s broken and patched body. She reached out and lightly took his hand as she whispered, “I’m so sorry, Chuck. I wish I could have been there to protect you. I’m sorry I can’t be what you deserve in a girlfriend. You deserve to know how much you mean to me, how much more it means every day, even if it’s not remotely real.”

Chuck woke at the touch, but in the haze of semi-sleep, didn’t hear all of what she said. He thought she said he meant a lot to her, but as she finished that thought, his eyes fluttered open. She hastily stopped talking, dropped his hand, and turned away. “Sarah? What are you doing here? What were you just saying?” he asked.

Sarah cleared her throat, trying to rid her voice of any trace of emotion, before she ignored the last part of his question. “Hi, Chuck. I just got here. Casey told me you had that offsite install, but we didn’t hear from you for hours, and then your GPS tracker was at a building that exploded. I wasn’t sure where you were, but after I heard you were here, I got here as fast as I could.” She actually smiled down at him and took his hand in hers, caressing his fingers. For a moment he thought he could see actual interest in her eyes, but chalked it up to maintaining the cover in public.

His eyes closed slightly at her deflection. She tried to hide it, but he saw the tear track down her cheek, and knew she opened up when she thought he couldn’t hear her. Then when asked, she ignored it; every time he gave her the chance, she lied or deflected.

Carina watched from the nurse’s station, thankful she had put an OR-style plastic covering over her hair and a mask over her face. Just like she thought, Sarah was on a mission, and aside from a brief scan to see which room was Chuck’s, hadn’t given any of the hospital workers a second glance.

After a few minutes in the room, during which Carina thought she saw something sparkle on Sarah’s cheek, Ellie came out of the elevator. Carina’s eyes widened. _Showtime!_ As Carina held her position, hiding most of her face behind a folder, the brunette saw Sarah with Chuck and her eyes narrowed. She squared her shoulders, marched up to Chuck’s door, and wrenched it open. Carina winced, knowing what was coming.

_Sorry, Walker,_ she thought unrepentantly, _maybe this will teach you to enjoy what you have a little bit more._ Carina turned her head, but she still heard the fleshy slap that resounded throughout the ward. She turned back to see Sarah rubbing a darkening handprint on her left cheek, a look of shock spreading across the rest of her face as the brunette was yelling at her. _Guess Sarah’s finding out the cover story I created_ , Carina thought with a smirk that vanished as her thoughts continued, _Time to go. I’m sorry, Chuck._

***

_Two weeks later_

Two weeks of ignoring Chuck’s calls; two weeks of ignoring his texts and emails; two weeks of trying not to let the guilt overwhelm her. He didn’t deserve to be ignored, but she felt so responsible for getting him shot that she couldn’t face him. _How could I even begin to apologize for that?_ Carina sighed and closed out her work computer. Another day accomplished, without much in the way of accomplishment to show for it. She sagged back against her chair, feeling the stress of the last two weeks finally starting to bleed off. The predicted firestorm from Maxwell for ignoring the director’s calls was worse than she’d expected, resulting in two weeks of paperwork penance.

For the first time she considered the long-term assignment. Staying around wasn’t working. She’d seen the concern in Sarah’s eyes when Chuck lay in his hospital bed. Sarah was there, and who knew? Maybe seeing Chuck almost die would spur Sarah into real affection for him. Somehow that thought did nothing to comfort her. Carina grunted in ever-growing frustration as she got up and left her office.

***

_Bryce. Frakking. Larkin. Seriously? He couldn’t just stay dead and be done with it? He had to show up to ruin my life again?_ Even his inner voice was turning bitter, Chuck reflected. He was sitting on his bed, wishing he could go back to the beach in Malibu, the same beach Sarah had asked him to trust her after their first ‘date’. That beach would have been their beach, their spot, if their relationship had been remotely real.

The ache in his shoulder broke him out of his beach loop and back onto his other problem. _Thankfully no one but Casey knows I’m friends with Carina, or Bryce would probably convince her that he would be a better friend for her than I was. You know, for my own good, or the good of the country, or some crap like that._

Carina. He hadn’t heard from Carina since he got out of the hospital two weeks ago. If anything, she was probably avoiding him because she got another black mark on her record for getting him shot when she was trying to get him out. He sighed inwardly. It wasn’t even his fault and she was still mad at him. _Well, at least I can try again,_ Chuck thought to himself as he pulled out his phone.

**Sorry to bother you. I know you’re mad at me, but can we chat?**

Carina started to smile when she saw Chuck’s name on the message, but the words he sent and the memory of her negligence wiped the smile off her face. _Oh Chuck. Why in the world do you think I’m mad at you? It was my fault you got shot. You should be mad at me! I’m so sorry._ No matter how often he said he forgave her, she would carry that guilt for the rest of her life. With a shaking finger, she pressed “Delete”. She couldn’t risk getting him hurt anymore. He had Sarah there to take care of him.

***

“Ok, time to check on my patient,” Ellie said to Devon and got up off the couch. He groaned at the loss of contact with his girlfriend, but the interruption gave him time to take care of something. As soon as Ellie’s shadow faded down the hall, he walked quickly and quietly over to his workout gear. Taking care to unzip his gym bag without making a sound, he took out a small box. _Where can I hide this so Ellie won’t see it?_ He looked around the apartment, but didn’t see anything. _Kitchen’s out – she’s always cooking something. Ditto the bathroom… Hmm. I need to figure this out before she gets back from talking to Chuck. Ah-ha! Chuck! That’s it! I’ll ask Chuck to hide it somewhere._ Sighing in relief that he had a plan, he zipped the bag back up and hurried over to the couch in case Ellie came out and saw him.

Unaware of what was going on down the hall, Ellie knocked on Chuck’s door. Easing it open, she saw him reclining on his bed. Her brother was staring at his phone with such a look of despondence that she had to fight the urge to sweep in and take him in her arms like she did when he was a child and needed comfort. “Chuck? What’s wrong?”

He coughed away the lump in his throat, immediately wishing he hadn’t, as his ribs were sore both from his previous wound and the new bruising courtesy of Bryce. “Oh, hi, El. Nothing; I’m good. Why do you ask?”

Ellie gave a little snort of disbelief and folded her arms. “Really? Come on, Chuck. You can’t hide anything from me. You were just looking at your phone and your face looked like the time Peaches ran away. What’s going on?”

He sighed and put his phone down on the nightstand. “It’s just…Sarah and I are having problems. We had a fight the other night and it hasn’t gotten any better,” he said, hoping she would buy the half-truth. Ellie’s lie detector was a problem he’d been trying to figure out his whole life.

Ellie pursed her lips, wondering if she should meddle in this particular fight, but decided to press on. “Does it have anything to do with whomever you’ve been on the phone with so many nights?”

Chuck’s eyebrows flew up to his hairline. “How – what do you mean? I talk to Sarah at night if we can’t go out.”

Ellie pushed off the door frame and walked over to Chuck’s desk. She took the office chair and rolled it over to the side of Chuck’s bed. “Chuck, honey, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me every one of those calls was to Sarah.” She refused to let him break eye contact, knowing he’d been lying and trying to get him to come clean to her.

Chuck sighed and gave up the fight. The ache in his shoulder probably had something to do with his inability to ignore or deflect Ellie. “Ok sis. Those calls I made were to a friend of mine from Stanford. We lost touch after I got kicked out. She’s from DC but we ran into each other a while back out here.”

His sister smiled encouragingly. “Friends, huh? Were you two ever more than friends?”

He actually smiled at her hope for him. “No, Ellie. Jill was the only girl I ever dated at Stanford. C- Caroline was never interested in me that way.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. She loved her brother, but he would never see how good of a catch he would be for some girl someday. For all he could have guessed, this Caroline girl probably wanted him desperately, but in his eternal belief that he was never good enough, he would have never shown any signs he was interested. Of course, Bryce the rat bastard Larkin and Jill had helped make that possible. Not for the first time she thought about how much those two had ruined her brother’s life and where he might be if he never met them.

She fussed around Chuck, fluffing his pillows and making sure he was comfortable. Well, what about that nurse from Sacred Heart? She looked like she really wanted to give you some attention. Have you thought about calling her?”

Chuck looked at his sister in some surprise that she would actually encourage that, but had to shake his head. “Uh, no, actually. I wanted to see if things worked out with Sarah first. Besides, Sarah’s far enough out of my league, and she actually…wants…to date me. I don’t want to push my luck with that gorgeous nurse.”

Ellie just shook her head. At least he had Sarah, if the two of them could ever uncomplicated things enough to get on the same page. She dropped the inquisition as she started a quick exam of Chuck’s wound to make sure he was healing properly, smiling as her baby brother rolled his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a newspaper reports Carina's tragic death. Newspapers aren't always right, are they?

**Chapter 7**

_So you don’t let anyone know who you really are?_

_Can’t. Might have to leave them in five minutes or shoot them in the head._

***

“Have you reconsidered the long-term assignment, Agent Miller?” Director Maxwell looked across her desk at Carina. Having that particular agent shrink into her chair took the normally stern director aback slightly, though years of practice kept any physical manifestation of the reaction hidden. Carina Miller’s hallmark had always been confidence that bordered on arrogance, but the usually cocky agent seemed almost timid.

For her part, Carina sat again in the chair across from her director and tried to maintain eye contact. Her carelessness over getting Chuck shot still plagued her. If she’d just managed to see that last baddie, he wouldn’t have ended up with a hole in his shoulder. It was her fault. She had to get away from him to keep him safe. Sarah had always protected Chuck, while she had let him get shot. She squared her shoulders and set her mouth in a grim line. “Yes. I’m on board.”

“Good. Your plane leaves at 0730. You’ll be met at the airport. Agent Miller, the importance of this mission cannot be overstated. Rogue agents from across the intelligence community have been trying to take over the CIA and NSA for a while now, but have met with limited, if any, success. We believe they have begun targeting smaller agencies like ours.” Maxwell slid a folder, a bulging manila envelope, and a new smart phone across the desk to Carina.

Carina put the phone and envelope to the side and picked up the folder. In large, bold letters across the front, she saw “OPERATION PYTHON: TOP SECRET”. When she opened it, Carina saw that the first page contained only the word Fulcrum. Just then the director’s words registered in her mind, and she looked up in surprise. “Excuse me, did you say ‘take over’?”

In the midst of looking at something on her computer monitor, Maxwell looked out of the corner of her eye at Carina. “Yes, I did. This group wants to replace the current agency directors with their own people so they can force their agenda on this country.

“I’ve spoken extensively with General Beckman and Director Graham, and they believe Fulcrum is getting the bulk of its funding from assisting the Mexican cartels in smuggling narcotics across the border. Your mission will be to travel to Mexico, find out how Fulcrum interacts with the cartels, and start cutting off the source of their funding. With the CIA and NSA attacking this group from the domestic side and your efforts from the foreign, Fulcrum will be caught in the middle and destroyed.”

Carina sucked in her breath and smiled for the first time since Chuck was shot. The scope of the mission Maxwell outlined would be a huge feather in her cap if she was successful. “This sounds like a dream assignment, Director Maxwell. Count me in.”

Director Maxwell looked hard at Carina to emphasize her next point. “Good. There is one more thing, Agent Miller, but I stress to you that this information cannot leave this room. Do you understand?”

Carina swallowed hard. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Director Maxwell activated a small jammer on her desk that turned her computer monitor to static. “Have you heard of the Intersect project?”

Carina thought back to some rumors she heard early in her career. “It was some kind of computer, right? I remember hearing vague rumors about a computer system a few years ago, but I thought that it fizzled out because I never heard about it after that.”

Maxwell shook her head and tented her fingertips. “It never fizzled, Agent Miller. It’s very real. An enormously powerful supercomputing database that can search for patterns in every scrap of intelligence data from every agency we have.”

Carina just stared. “If that’s real, that would be huge for any field agent. Is Fulcrum targeting that too?”

Director Maxwell nodded. “Indeed they are, but thus far they have not been successful. I was able to force Beckman and Graham to agree to provide you with access to the Intersect for this mission, in return for their…appropriation of the Nadan-i-Noor from your previous work with their team. They owed us.”

“Intersect access?” Carina breathed, “How, exactly?”

Her director gestured to the folder in front of Carina. “The details are spelled out in your packet, but you will be provided with a special smartphone. In this phone is a number to call that will connect you to an Intersect technician at the facility somewhere in the DC area. Once that number is dialed, a software module in your phone will activate a voice-alteration mechanism, so that neither you nor the technician will be able to recognize each other’s voices if you were to meet in the real world. The technician will run any questions you have about people, places, meetings, or Fulcrum itself through the Intersect and give you an answer.”

Carina stood up. “Thank you Ma’am. I won’t let you down.” With that, she took the folder, closed it in her briefcase, and started to walk out when Maxwell’s voice called out once more.

“Oh, Agent Miller? There is one more thing…”

***

Once outside the building and seated in her car, Carina allowed a solitary tear to roll down her cheek. She pulled out her new cell phone and from memory dialed Chuck one last time.

No answer. That was for the best. This would be hard enough to say to his voice mail. Saying it directly to him would be too much.

“Chuck…wow how do I even say this? I’m so sorry …”

***

Chuck dragged himself back to his room after congratulating Ellie and Devon on their engagement – an engagement that wouldn’t have happened that day without some serious dumpster-diving. The roller-coaster of the last twenty-four hours had him reeling. First, Awesome wanted to propose to Ellie, which was, well, awesome.

Then, he had to go and lose Awesome’s ring while Fulcrum was sniffing around the Buy More. After that, the government tried to extract him, and was almost successful until Lizzie showed up at the helipad. Sarah hadn’t tried to stop it, either. _Save you later_ , he thought with a grunt. She had reached behind her back at one point, but he couldn’t figure out why. Sarah then went to the insane effort of combing through a dumpster to help him, but he thought it was more to keep him safe from any lingering Fulcrum agents or rush him to the hospital if he cut himself on anything in said dumpster. His suspicions were confirmed when she turned down his offer to congratulate Ellie and Awesome.

He needed a shower more than anything, but as he dropped his phone on his nightstand, he saw the blinking indicator of a voice mail. _Interesting._ He punched in his access code and smiled when he heard Carina’s voice begin to speak. _Finally!_ The smile vanished from his face when he heard the full message.

“ _Chuck…wow how do I even say this? I’m so sorry, but I’m leaving. I know you’re going to be upset, but it’s for the best. I’m bad for you. Trust me; you shouldn’t waste any time worrying about someone like me. I’m sorry for getting you shot. I totally lost my focus, and it was all my fault. I never thought to look for that last guy. I’m so, so sorry, Chuck. Someone as great as you deserves someone who won’t get him shot because she wasn’t paying attention. You told me how Sarah has always kept you safe, even if she messed with your heart. Trust her, and don’t give up hope. Goodbye, Chuck. I’ll never forget you.”_

This time the phone fell to the floor. Chuck stood numbly in his room, feeling as much like garbage as he smelled.

***

The occupant of seat 1A on the flight to Mexico City had yet to move. Repeated offers of drinks, food, magazines, and other distractions had gone completely ignored. One stewardess even bravely poked the woman’s shoulder to see if she was alive. That earned her a glare that would have skewered her to the side of the fuselage had it been tangible. Once the perky blonde scampered off in fear, Carina put her sunglasses back on and resumed staring out the window of her first-class seat. She felt like complete garbage for abandoning Chuck to Casey and Sarah’s tender mercies. _You had to do it,_ she reasoned with herself, _You let him get shot. He deserves a friend that will protect him, not someone whose carelessness gets him wounded._ Maybe if she kept telling herself that, one day she’d believe it. _At least he’s safe now._

***

He needed some privacy. Casey might know about his friendship with Carina, but that didn’t mean that he wanted the NSA agent to see how upset he was. He toed off his Chucks, and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He had no illusions that a locked door would keep Casey out if there was a crisis, but the presence of Ellie and Awesome would at least force him to come up with a plausible cover story for why he was barging in. He undressed after starting the shower, studiously avoiding looking at himself in the mirror. Nothing good could come of seeing his own face right now.

The water was hot enough that it stung his skin, but he barely noticed in his misery. Sarah, the woman who had professed over and over to have no feelings for him beyond what was required of her to complete her mission, but who had laid one hell of a kiss on him in front of the not-bomb, was still here protecting him; Carina, the woman who had been a kind of long-distance rock, supporting him and keeping him centered – not to mention who had hauled his bleeding body away from danger and got him safely to the hospital – was gone.

As he mechanically cleaned his body, he thought about Carina’s message. She seemed to think Sarah either did care about him, or would care about him at some point in the future. What he didn’t understand was the evident guilt in her voice. Carina rescued him from being tortured, but she seemed to think that inattentiveness on her part was responsible for his wounding.

Even though he knew it was futile, Chuck called Carina back. ‘ _We’re sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.’_ He threw his phone on the bed in disgust. After plopping down in his computer chair, he thought for a minute and spun around to pull up a web browser. _Carina said she lived in the DC area, so maybe there’s some news story somewhere about what she might be doing,_ he reasoned. Chuck pulled up the website of a major DC news outlet and started poking around the US and world news sections when he saw the headline:

FOOD CRITIC KILLED IN BOATING ACCIDENT

_WASHINGTON – Carina Miller, a freelance food critic from Northern Virginia, was killed in a boating accident on the Chesapeake yesterday, according to Calvert County emergency rescue personnel._

After staring at the screen in horror, he scanned the article, hoping against hope it wasn’t Carina, but the article was a beautifully-worded obituary of an agent killed while doing her job. The picture they gave her must have been some kind of official pose, because she was even more strikingly beautiful than she normally was. The article gave no indications of what she was doing on a boat early in the morning, but Chuck had suspicions that she was on a mission. The identity of the…body…was confirmed via dental records. He closed the browser out, too upset to read any further.

It was too much. The mission, almost getting taken to a bunker, dumpster-diving, Sarah’s refusal, and now Carina’s death combined to overwhelm him, and Chuck banged his head on the desk in despair. He vaguely registered the door opening and his sister rushing over to him.

“Chuck! What’s wrong? What happened? Are you ok?” As she frantically checked her brother for any sign of physical injury, the pitch of Ellie’s voice would have woken a coma patient, and he had to respond.

Chuck sat up and rubbed his face, trying to regain his composure. “I just got some really bad news. A really good friend of mine was in a boating accident. She’s dead, Ellie.”

The despair on Chuck’s face broke Ellie’s heart, and all she could do was take him in her arms and rock him back and forth. After a couple minutes, there was a tap at the Morgan Door. Chuck felt Ellie lift her head to see who it was. He hoped it wasn’t Morgan; he couldn’t handle Morgan’s ADD-like stream of thought right now.

“John?” Ellie asked in surprise. Chuck turned in surprise. “Casey?” _He must have heard Ellie and I over the bugs._ He got up and opened the window for Casey.

Casey’s eyes moved from Ellie to Chuck as he leaned in through the window. “Sorry to barge in on you. I was on my home from the Buy More when I heard some commotion. Just wanted to be sure everything was ok.”

Chuck turned to the new arrival. “Hey, Casey! Yeah, we’re ok. Um, didn’t you have that new Buy More training binder?” He looked meaningfully at Casey, willing him to understand.

Casey’s eyes widened at Chuck’s action. “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Do you need to borrow it?”

“Yes! Yes I do, because I need to know all about the newest rules and regulations from the Buy More corporate headquarters.” Chuck hoped the extra emphasis he put on the words didn’t sound odd to Ellie.

“All right, well, let me know if you’re going to need anything more, ok?” Ellie turned from the doorway.

“Will do, El. I promise.” Once the door closed behind her, Chuck turned to Casey.

Chuck turned anxiously to his NSA handler. “Casey! Tell me it isn’t true!”

Casey’s eyes widened at Chuck’s emotion. “What isn’t true Bartowski?”

In response, Chuck pulled the browser back up and found the article about Carina’s death. He gestured at the computer screen. “She can’t be dead, can she? This has to be a …a mistake, right?”

Casey moved over to the desk and scanned the article. His shoulders hunched as he read the lines. “It really looks genuine. Have you tried to call her?”

“Yeah, but I can’t get a hold of her. She left me this really weird message about being sorry, and how she was bad for me and stuff like that just because she thinks she got me shot. Her phone number’s been disconnected and everything. Is there any way you can track her down through some database or something?”

The big man looked at Chuck like he’d grown a second head. “You want me to misappropriate government resources to track down an agent from a different agency who may or may not be on a deep-cover mission – compromising her cover in the process – just so you can try and make yourself feel better?”

Chuck’s face had fallen more and more during Casey’s reasoning. “Well, can’t you call some of your contacts in DC to do some checking around? There has to be a way we can figure this out!” He stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of the window.

“Will you sit down already? You’re giving me whiplash. Look, I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll ask around, maybe even talk to Beckman. You just need to stay quiet about it. No one needs to know you’re interested in what happened to her.” Casey punctuated his statement by poking Chuck directly in the chest.

“Thanks Casey. Anything you can find out would be great.” Chuck sagged onto his bed out of sheer exhaustion.

In the midst of stepping back into the courtyard, Casey turned back to Chuck with an evil grin and gave a grunt. “You know who might be your best bet, Bartowski?” Chuck looked up at this question. “Walker. Not that I recommend asking her about Carina. That might be a little too hard to explain.”

As Casey closed the door, Chuck started thinking about what he could tell Sarah that wouldn’t be a complete lie when she asked why he was depressed.

***

Chuck’s malaise was obvious to anyone who knew him. During their lunch break at the Weinerlicious the next day, Sarah watched him push the corn dog through the ketchup and mustard in his paper basket. “Chuck, what’s wrong?”

Chuck snapped out of his reverie, spilling his fries. “Wha- what makes you think something’s wrong, Sarah?”

She lifted a single eyebrow. _How can she DO that?_ Chuck wondered to himself. “All right, I guess I’ve been a little down the past couple days. I was just…I don’t know, trying to come to terms with almost being sent to a bunker. It hit me kind of hard, how close I came to being taken away from Ellie, Morgan, and everyone I love.”

The forlorn look on his face was enough to break Sarah’s heart. She reached out and put one of her hands on his, saying, “Chuck, I am so sorry about that. Neither Casey nor I had a clue that was going to happen.”

Chuck looked up at her, seeing the honesty in her blue eyes. “Would it have made any difference?” he challenged.

Sarah blinked, not expecting that question. Her walls, so dangerously close to collapsing on the helipad, were back in place. Chuck actually saw the agent mask slip over her features. “What do you mean, Chuck?”

He scowled at her deflection and pulled his hand away from hers. “Come on, would it have made any difference if you and Casey had known they were going to take me away?” The rising anger he felt that Sarah, who asked him to trust her on the beach, who swore she would do whatever she could to save him from the bunker, would have let him go to the bunker, made a convenient outlet for his fear that Carina really was gone forever… _or however long her mission might last,_ he hastily corrected in his mind.

Her mind raced to come up with an explanation, any explanation, for what would have happened. He could see it on her face: there was none. She would have let him be taken away. After all her promises, she would have let him be taken to a bunker, and now she was trying to come up with a lie to make him feel better.

She straightened out the ridiculous skirt that she was required to wear, more to steady her racing nerves than anything else. “Chuck, I don’t know what you think I could have done. There were armed agents coming in the helicopter, and Longshore himself was armed. If I tried to go to war with that many agents, we both would have been killed. The only option would have been for me to try to get you out of the bunker afterward, but the General made up her mind, so that probably wouldn’t have worked anyway.” Sarah implored him with her eyes to understand her sincerity.

Chuck looked at her in shock. “So when you asked me to trust you, it was to trust you to keep me safe as long as you had orders? Once those orders changed, you would let me go to a bunker, or even be the one to ‘unplug’ me if you got a termination order?”

Sarah reached out and slapped his face hard. The imprint of her hand was still visible when she growled her reply, eyes blazing blue fire. “You know better than that, Mr. Bartowski. I fought to keep you out of the bunker from day one. If there was EVER a termination order you can bet I’d be fighting it as hard as I could.”

Chuck just stared at her, slowly tracing his fingers over the spot where her hand had hit. “So what happened the other night? Off to a bunker, it’s been a blast, bye-bye Chuck?”

_He still isn’t getting this_. “I had no idea that was coming; no time to react and make a plan, Chuck. What was I supposed to do exactly? Take on at least three armed agents, including two in a helicopter? It was easier to try to get you out of a bunker afterward than fight and run that night.”

He sighed, pushing his tray away from him. “I get it. I do, but I’m still upset that the government would try to take me to a bunker and my friends wouldn’t do whatever they could to get me out of it.” So saying, he stood up and turned to leave, but found his hand firmly attached to Sarah.

“Chuck,” she said insistently, forcing him to look into her eyes, willing him to understand her, “I’m sorry.”

He smiled ruefully, realizing that unless Sarah herself asked to be reassigned, they were stuck with each other. Carina was gone, but Sarah was still here; and he really didn’t know how to feel about that other than realizing it wasn’t fair to put all of his anger and sadness at Carina’s death on Sarah. “Ok, Sarah. It’s going to take a while, but since it doesn’t look like either of us is going anywhere, we’re going to be ok. Just give me a little time.” He finally detached his hand.

***

Chuck sat in Casey’s apartment, barely listening to Graham and Beckman get the update from Casey and Sarah about the aftermath of Lizzie’s attempt to sell him on eBay. Carina’s absence was still hitting him hard, and he found paying attention to the briefing difficult. Thus, it took two requests from the bosses, Sarah hissing his name, and Casey kicking his shin to make him realize that Beckman and Graham were trying to ask him something.

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about everything that happened.” He tried to cover his inattentiveness, but the directors weren’t buying it.

“Agents Casey and Walker, please excuse us. We need to speak to the asset on a matter that only concerns him.” Graham’s rasping voice scratched through the speakers.

Sarah and Casey exchanged a glance, and then looked at Chuck, but finding no answer, shrugged and walked out of the room. As soon as the door closed, Beckman cleared her throat. “Mr. Bartowski, we have a new mission for you, and you, alone.”

Chuck nervously cleared his throat. “A n-new mission General? What, may I ask, will my role be on this mission, and why are Casey and Sarah not involved?”

Graham took his cue. “Relax, Bartowski. You won’t have to go anywhere. We’ve had to make some concessions to other agencies which have contributed data to the Intersect, so you will periodically receive telephone requests for Intersect information from a deep-cover DEA agent. We’re going to send you out a special smartphone to replace your current one. It will be able to receive calls from this agent, and for both of your security, it will modify your voices as well.”

Chuck looked surprised. “Yeah, yeah, I can handle that. I assume, if I’m at work or in public I’ll just have to go somewhere more private, or will I have to come here to Castle for that?”

“Just find some privacy wherever you are when this agent calls you and give them what they need for their mission, Bartowski.” Beckman was as abrasive as Graham this day.

_She must still be upset about losing the chance to bunkerize me,_ Chuck grumbled to himself.

“Your new phone will be delivered with all the necessary instructions tomorrow. Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Bartowski,” Graham grunted before cutting the transmission.

***

Carina hurriedly packed her gun, as many clothes as she could shove in a bag, and her toiletry kit. She looked up the Intersect contact in her phone, _of course it’s listed under ‘technical support’_ she grunted to herself, dialed the number, and waited. After two rings, she heard a heavily digitized voice saying, “ _Intersect support, how can I help you today?”_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina's Mexico mission begins.

**Chapter 8**

_Bryce was a spy; you’re an asset._

_Anything you perceived was me wanting him to think I like him. I assure you, I have no feelings for Chuck. He’s just an asset._

***

_Smack! Thump! Wham!_ Sarah gave the heavy bag the CIA was gracious enough to install in her hotel room another hard right cross, followed by a left heel to where the target’s face would have been. Her fury still burned intensely, despite being well into an extended session of pounding on her imaginary targets. Graham, Beckman, Casey, and even Chuck all came in for their fair share of imaginary punishment during her workout. Her black athletic pants and blue sports bra had long since gotten soaked with sweat, as had her gloves.

Two quick jabs to Graham’s stoic face for not trusting his protégé, even after a year of taking care of his precious Intersect. She’d left her gun at her hotel room because _you don’t bring a gun on a real date,_ but at a restaurant there were any number of weapons she should have been able to access, and would have if Casey hadn’t driven through the window. She drove her left knee into Graham’s imaginary gut and followed that up with an elbow chop where the back of his head would have been. Then he had to go and get himself blown up with Fulcrum’s Trojan horse Cipher. A spinning kick finished him off.

Sarah smiled sardonically and adjusted her aim down on the bag to give the pint-sized General Diane Beckman a black eye. The smug bitch took every opportunity she could to remind Chuck that he was nothing more than a skin-covered computer to her. The shortsighted woman couldn’t even see when the mission’s success depended on Chuck’s intuition making connections a machine could never make. Even when the team achieved its mission goals because of Chuck, Beckman never forgot to let them know what they did wrong.

Sarah spun her right heel into the lower third of the bag for a side blow on the imaginary woman and then grunted as she drove her fist right where the General’s nose would have been. Rather than go in for another spinning kick, she gave the General a fist straight to the forehead to knock her out.

She paused to take a deep breath while she sized up her next opponent. She started her bout with the imaginary Casey by jabbing high with her left hand, following that with a hard right cross to the jaw. Casey started out their partnership by trying to kill her, trying to turn Chuck against her, and while things had gotten a lot better – he had even called her his partner under truth serum – after that, he took every chance to belittle Chuck rather than trying to help build his confidence. _Thanks a lot, partner_ , she grunted mentally as she spun a kick to where Casey’s temple would have been.

Last and least rationally, she mentally sized up a fight with Chuck. Sarah cursed him as she pounded the center of the bag. In the space of a few months, she’d gone from feeling she was in top form as an agent to being willing to shoot another CIA agent just for following his own orders to take her asset to a secure bunker. Something about the curly-haired nerd had gotten through her defenses and changed how she looked at her job.

Sweat dripped into her eyes, blurring her vision and forcing her to strike blindly. She spun and landed the back of her fist to the side of the bag as she remembered how much she wanted to go on the date just to spend time around him, and they’d gotten so close to having their second real kiss at the restaurant. _Stupid nerd making me feel all these…feelings!_

Angrily cuffing the stinging sweat from her eyes, Sarah stepped back and planned another attack. She crouched low and feinted with her left, bringing her right in for a huge cross, but the effort tugged some hair loose from her ponytail. As it brushed in front of her eyes, she lost sight of the bag after impact. In the effort of brushing the hair out of her eyes, she missed the momentum of the bag carrying it around her side. The bag representing Chuck Bartowski hit her hard enough to knock her flat on her ass.

Graham was dead. The beta Intersect was destroyed. Chuck was still the only Intersect and she was still his handler. They were back to square one. Too exhausted to get up and fight again, she looked at the swinging bag and sighed aloud, “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

***

Chuck stood at his doorstep holding his keys. Opening the door to step inside was a much bigger task than it should be, because he knew Ellie would be waiting on the other side to ask how the date went. If he didn’t know his sister any better, he’d swear she was part bloodhound because of her ability to sense trouble. Earlier in the evening, she sensed his extra excitement about the upcoming date, and while she didn’t pick out his clothes for him like she had on his first ‘first date’ with Sarah, she did point out to Devon that Chuck’s plans for the evening were a ‘proper date’. Too bad this proper date had to end with him being stuck as the Intersect for the foreseeable future, unless they were able to recover the Cipher. The freedom he felt when he woke up that morning had blown away like a weak fog.

Even without knowing the real reason behind his frustration at the spy world ruining another date – not to mention the loss of the Cipher putting his freedom from said world in jeopardy – Ellie would be able to tell something had gone wrong. Once she latched on to that, she’d be like a terrier: his sister wouldn’t give up until she got at the reason the date went badly – if not the real reason then a lie he made up about his relationship with Sarah.

He grimaced as he slid the key into the lock. If there was one part of this job he’d never get used to, it was the lying, especially to Ellie. Sarah and Casey kept saying that if Ellie really knew about his second life, she would be in danger from someone kidnapping her to use against him – hence the lying. Keeping Ellie safe was the only reason he put up with the dishonesty. With one final sigh, he plastered a smile on his face and pushed the door open.

Devon was resting in one corner of the couch with one foot propped up on the coffee table and his arm around Ellie, who seemed to be resting more on her fiancé than the couch itself. The television was on, but they both looked to be more asleep than awake, and certainly not paying whatever was on that much attention. They must have had particularly trying shifts at the hospital, because they were still in their scrubs. Chuck tried to close the door silently and sneak past them, but a squeaky floorboard woke his sister.

“Chuck?” Ellie murmured sleepily as she lifted her head, “Why are you back so early? Is everything ok?”

“Oh, hi, El. Sorry about waking you up,” he deflected as he straightened up. “Yeah, everything’s fine. We just decided to call it an early night. Sarah has an early…conference call…with the corporate office of her new job.”

Ellie, more awake now, opened her eyes a little wider and sat up off Devon, who exhaled as the pressure on his chest released. “New job? When did Sarah get a new job? What’s she doing?”

Chuck searched for the best way to answer. “Well, she got a job at the new yogurt place in the Buy More plaza…Orange Orange it’s called. She’s the store’s manager now, so it’s a bit of a promotion and gives her a lot more freedom with her schedule. She has a conference call early tomorrow with the corporate offices so they can get to know her a little better.”

Ellie narrowed her eyes and looked closely at her brother. “You look upset, Chuck. What’s wrong? Did something happen on the date tonight?”

_Of course I couldn’t sneak past Ellie without her noticing. Why would even one thing go right for me today?_ “It’s nothing, sis, I promise.”

That did it. Ellie sat fully up and stared her brother down. “Charles Irving Bartowski! You can’t fool me. Something’s going on. When did we start lying to each other?”

Chuck grimaced at the shame her persistence brought on. After a moment of thought he opened his mouth to reply, but just as he did, his new phone rang. It took him a minute to recognize the ringtone, but as soon as he did he remembered his instructions. “Oh, sorry, Ellie. This is my new Nerd Herd on-call phone. Is it ok if we finish later?”

Ellie just rolled her eyes and nodded, but she responded with, “Don’t think we’re through here! I still want to know what’s going on!” As he walked back to his room, Chuck distinctly heard his sister mutter “Buy Morons” as she snuggled back into Devon.

***

“Intersect support. How may I help you today?” Chuck remembered the phrase General Beckman told him to say when his special phone rang. He heard a breathless computer-altered female voice respond: “Yeah, um, hi. I need to know everything you have on a minor Fulcrum agent with ties to the cartels named Evan Saxton.”

The flash hit Chuck with an almost physical impact. He saw Saxton’s picture, images of bodies the man had killed, a map of networked Fulcrum sites all over Mexico. After shaking his head clear, he looked around to make sure neither Ellie nor Devon was walking down the hall. “Oh, oh, wow. Um, this guy has his fingers in just about all of Fulcrum’s major sites in Mexico. There’s a network of locations he’s involved with in Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, Cancun, and Cabo San Lucas. All of those sites are linked to a control compound in Tijuana.” A lack of breath from the recitation of the facts finally made him stop.

Carina stopped what she was doing as if she ran into a wall. _This just got a lot bigger. I have to go all over Mexico now?_ “Where was the second city? Wait, how the hell did you input that information so quickly?”

Caught off guard, Chuck had to think quickly: “Puerto Vallarta. Fulcrum has a refinery and cash collection site that doesn’t have the same physical security of the others, and I…was sitting at my computer when you called, so I just typed in the key words. It’s a simple search function,” he laughed nervously.

Carina pursed her lips at the shaky explanation, but she was in a hurry, so she let it slide with a quick “Thanks,” as she hung up.

***

Carina walked down the stairs toward the party’s main gathering with her arm interlinked with that of her mark. The black floor-length evening gown she wore lightly traced the floor as she stepped down. Her agent side loved formal affairs that allowed her to wear expensive gowns, shoes that cost more than the average person’s mortgage, and makeup that gave her the look of a runway model. Her tomboy side, the one she never showed anyone, would much rather have lounged at home in sweatpants and a t-shirt, or if she was going out, find a good pub where she could have a good drink and a quiet conversation.

She turned to her mark and kissed his cheek while her right hand caressed his collar. His ego got a boost at her public affection, but he saw neither her disgust nor the bug she clipped to his shirt collar. Despite the revulsion she always felt when she had to seduce someone she’d much rather shoot, she couldn’t deny the thrill of being on another deep-cover mission, as rusty as her skills might be.

Her last two missions had been failures, and with the time she’d spent hanging around the Washington office, she wasn’t anywhere near the top of her game. _Still,_ she mused as her mark left her to go off to the bar to meet one of his cronies, _if this op goes well, I’ll be right back in form._

Her mission folder told her that Evan Saxton – Fulcrum’s liaison to the cartel money operations – would be her first target. If she could get into his computer, she could figure out how to attack Fulcrum from the bottom up.

***

_Two weeks before:_

The wind breezed through her hair as she stood on her balcony, watching the Pacific waves break on the rocky shore below her. Her green satin robe blew around her, but she took no notice. The noisy spring break tourists frolicked in the distance as the sun set, but she took no notice. The sounds of Acapulco cabs driving the streets created a dull roar behind her, but she took no notice.

Carina turned and walked slowly through her new villa. Six months ago her DEA cover – Cassandra Williamson – would have been perfect, but now, she was only working to work. She threw herself into this cover, because she had nothing else. Pretending to be one of the idle rich, divorced from her millionaire ex-husband with nothing but time on her hands would have been her dream cover once upon a time, but now it just seemed empty. Still, it was the ideal cover for this mission: she could keep odd hours and attend parties without raising any suspicion. Keeping the operation in tourist destinations reduced the chances of anyone looking twice at an American.

Her villa was luxurious in the extreme. Expansive and open, it provided the DEA technicians a blank slate for hiding communications points, weapon caches, and first-aid kits. She strolled out of her room and looked down over the balcony into the great room below. Two stories of floor-to-ceiling glass overlooked the beach below the villa. On the upper floor, the interior balcony with its wrought-iron bars and polished wooden railing functioned as an open hallway, connecting each of the four ensuite bedrooms and the stairs to go down to the main level. Naturally, Carina occupied the master, both because it was the biggest and because it had been secretly fitted with an extra weapons cache and an escape down to a motorized sailboat moored in a protected cove accessible only by that path and from the sea. She spread her arms on the balcony and gazed down.

The two-story great room was the focus of the entire villa. Centered on two-story floor-to-ceiling windows, the room backed to the kitchen and a main-floor study. Two-story columns both supported the interior balcony and the roof of the entire villa. The kitchen was perfectly appointed, which she had insisted on. A breakfast bar in a half circle faced the great room with a sink toward the cooking area. Three suspended lights in cylindrical shades down reflecting on the granite countertops. Behind the breakfast bar, the main wall featured double wall ovens, a gas countertop range, and a stainless steel side-by-side refrigerator. Cooking was her secret hobby, but most of her deep-cover missions didn’t give her the chance to practice.

The only thing she noticed about her new home right then was the echo of a sudden sneeze. As opulent as the residence was, it was empty. She sighed. Such was life. Carina went back into her room, opened her closet door, and started flipping through her wardrobe, searching for the right look to put on that evening.

***

_Present_

She cooled her heels at the bar on a swiveling chair, sipping some fruity pink drink and waiting to hear some kind of clue over her nearly-invisible earwig about what Saxton and his buddies were up to. The third meathead was just walking back to his seat with his tail between his legs when she heard voices in her ear.

“…When are they getting the package back?” _Strange. Cartels usually call their products ‘merchandise’._

“…Soon, Jose. It’s being well-guarded.”

“…What’s so special about this thing anyway?”

A snort. “…Fulcrum needs it for their new project in Los Angeles.”

“…What new project?”

“…I haven’t heard much, but they think it’s finally going to help them start human testing.” Carina had to fight to keep her eyes from growing wide. _What are they going to start testing on humans?_

“… _Madre de Dios!_ Human testing?”

“…That’s what I hear, my friend. This is much more than just smuggling. We will speak more later. For now, I have an extraordinarily beautiful date that misses me desperately.”

Hearing that, Carina turned in her swivel chair and pretended to search out her ‘date’. Once she established eye contact, she winked at him and blew him a kiss. It slightly nauseated her to be this affectionate to a rogue spy out to overthrow the government, but she swallowed back the bile and made him think she was ready to fall flat on her back for him.

Evan’s companion slapped him on the shoulder and gestured for him to go back and join her. He grinned and swaggered back over to where Carina was waiting. Neither of them noticed the bug.

***

Casey and Sarah stood at attention in front of the monitors in Casey’s apartment. The two of them were due to carpool over to the Buy More plaza soon. Chuck was already at the Buy More, having an early shift today. Sarah hid her lingering excitement at the upgrades behind an impassive mask. She couldn’t tell if the new cover job or the new Castle facility was more exciting. _No more hour-long showers to get the corn dog smell out of my hair,_ she gleefully thought to herself. Just as soon as it appeared, however, the smile faded.

“General, why didn’t you want Chuck present for this meeting?” She asked formally.

Beckman looked down her nose at Sarah before answering “I needed to speak with the two of you alone. The asset’s services have been requested by another agency which contributed data to the Intersect. It seems they would like to get some use out of it.”

Casey didn’t exactly flinch, but out of the corner of her eye Sarah saw the muscles in his shoulders tense at the news. “Ma’am, how exactly is this other agency going to get data out of the Intersect without compromising his identity? We still don’t know how far Fulcrum has penetrated.”

Beckman’s barely-concealed eye roll almost made Casey quail. “The asset now has a dedicated cell phone that will ring whenever the other agency’s people need to run a question through the Intersect. For his protection, the phones on both ends will digitize their voices so neither can recognize the other later on. Because this new operation only requires the asset to flash and inform the person on the other end of the line, you two will not need to provide Mr. Bartowski any security. Thus, whenever he has a call on his new phone, the two of you will need to move out of his vicinity.”

Sarah blinked in surprise. The explanation made sense, but being excluded from a new mission of Chuck’s was unexpected. “Will there be set times for these calls or could it happen anytime?”

The general looked at Sarah like she was regarding a particularly dense child. “Since the operation in question is ongoing, we must assume a call could come in at any time, Agent Walker. Will that be a problem?”

Sarah shook her head in response. “No, ma’am. No problem at all.” Casey grunted.

“Good. Dismissed.” The tiny general cut the link abruptly, leaving her two subordinates to stare at each other.

***

Chuck looked through his closet, not really paying attention to the clothes on their hangers as he puzzled over Beckman’s words. That morning, the General had called him with a final reminder to make sure he was alone if his new phone rang. He tried to get information out of her about where Carina’s new mission really was, but she refused to give him an answer. Every time he tried to bring it up the General looked over her glasses at him and scowled. Eventually he gave up, but at the end of the call, she looked him squarely in the eye and said “Mr. Bartowski: I know you’re upset about Agent Miller’s disappearance, but I can’t give you the answers you want. All I can say is that if you look hard enough, you might be surprised at what you find.” With that riddle, she ended the call with all her usual politeness.

He scanned the closet for the outfit that he wanted to wear that evening. His first real date with Sarah was something he had to get right. He shoved Nerd Herd Chuck to the side. Charles Carmichael wasn’t going on this date either, so he pushed all his mission clothes to the other side. _No weapons, no aliases on a real date._ Finally, his eyes fell on just the right clothes for the evening. _Bingo._

***

Carina let Evan lead the two of them stumbling up to his villa. He was stumbling because of a truly staggering intake of tequila – which she subtly encouraged – at the bar while Carina’s was due to extensive DEA training on how to feign intoxication. Evan fumbled with his keys before collapsing against the door at the hilarity of his failure to open it. Carina, laughing as hard as he was, grabbed the keys and opened the door.

After several minutes, Evan managed to stand again and enter his villa. Carina closed the door behind them and while her mark shouted to his servants that they were to be left alone, she slipped the front door key off the ring and slid it into her handbag. In the same motion, she pulled out a small metal object which she carefully hid in one of her palms. _Servants? Either he’s really wasted or he really wants to impress me,_ Carina thought to herself.

When Evan heard her laughter stop, he turned. All of his movement stilled as Carina walked up to him, the sway of her hips like a metronome. His eyes tracked her movements until she was halfway up the marble curving staircase, at which point she glanced back over her shoulder, eyes smoldering, and asked in a husky voice, “Am I going to your bedroom alone?” As she started making her way up the stairs again, Evan seemed to regain the power of movement and almost raced her to the top. Taking Carina’s hand in a gesture his inebriation deemed suave, he led her into his bedroom before Carina slipped away. She guided him until he was facing her with his back to the bed.

When her arms snaked around him he could barely think, and when her lips met his, all higher brain function ceased, which is why he didn’t even register the pricking pain of Carina’s twilight dart on his neck. He thought his sudden descent onto the bed was the aggressive opening move of a lover, and fell asleep with a smile on his face that had Carina shuddering to herself.

“What a creep.” She hurriedly undressed him to his – she gagged on the bile in her throat - thong before dragging him to the top of the bed and getting him under the covers. After a quick search, she found a bigger box of condoms than she had ever seen before in the nightstand. “Someone thinks highly of himself,” she muttered as she tore open half a dozen, shoving the flimsy latex in her purse and leaving the wrappers scattered around. Her final step was prying his cell phone casing apart and carefully implanting a bug that would relay not only both ends of any conversation, but would also act as a GPS tracker. Finally, she withdrew a small bottle of perfume from her bag and sprayed it around the bed.

Assured her mark would be out for the night and wake up thinking he had been a real stallion, she grabbed her handbag and slipped quietly out of the room. After trying a couple doors on the upper floor, she found his office. Carina quietly donned latex gloves as she walked over to the computer, which Evan luckily left on. She pulled out a custom DEA thumb drive with several not-commercially-available programs. Popping the device into one of the computer’s ports, she waited while the first program hacked through Evan’s pathetic password controls.

_TequillaMustang? Really?_ Carina just rolled her eyes while a second program began transmitting the contents of Evan’s hard drive to the computer in her own villa. While that was going on, a third program sent the IP information to a technical facility where analysts would compile a profile of Evan himself.

When the light on the thumb drive blinked off, Carina took the device out of the computer, which promptly returned to its idle state. She grabbed her handbag and quickly exited the villa for a scalding-hot shower and a short night’s sleep.

***

What Carina didn’t know was that the analysts who looked at the same data from Evan’s hard drive as well as the intercepted communications from the bug were actually a single analyst, based in a secret base below a frozen yogurt ship in a Los Angeles mini-mall. When Carina placed the bug in Evan’s phone, it automatically linked to a computer in Castle and created a folder only said analyst could access, in which it created a new file for each conversation it recorded. When she started transferring the data off Evan’s hard drive, it followed the same pathway and created more files. The analyst in charge of reviewing the data did so at night, after his other duties.

***

The next morning, Evan woke up slowly. The headache currently throbbing in his skull felt worse than any hangover he could remember. It took a very long time to get his bearings, but as he gingerly pushed himself up in bed, his senses began breaking through the fog to send information to his brain. He could smell perfume all around him, which was usually a good sign. While he couldn’t feel any body heat, his hands did encounter at least two torn condom wrappers – another good sign, he thought with a smirk. Finally, he got his eyes open. He was definitely alone, but that wasn’t uncommon and made the morning easier for him. No excuses to make to get some random woman out of his house. He carefully swung his feet over the side of his bed and looked down at the rumpled suit lying on his floor. His still-bleary eyes landed on something strange: he picked the jacket up and examined the small electronic device clipped to the collar.

The obscenity he shouted rattled the windows.

***

Evan stalked around his villa’s office. _I’m gonna make that bitch pay,_ he thought to himself angrily. Only a government agent would have access to the kind of bug and tranquilizer she must have administered to him. Combined with the tequila, he never stood a chance. She would have been able to do whatever she wanted for hours at a stretch, although he could find no evidence of anything out of the ordinary. Even his computer did not look disturbed. Still, the bug was enough.

Upon realizing what happened, he called his most trusted deputy and ordered him to look over footage from the club, identify the agent, and learn anything and everything possible about her. After a day, the agent returned to him with some highly interesting information.

Cassandra Williamson was actually a DEA agent, and according to some highly-placed Fulcrum informants, she was on a mission to take Fulcrum down via its funding sources. The agent also sent a list of alias documents she was issued before her current mission. She had been observed drinking a morning coffee every morning at one of the cafes on the Zócalo square before shopping and swimming. The café would be the best place to get her. He made a phone call to a cartel assassin, giving the date, time, and location. Evan followed that up with an email of the target’s picture. _Perfect,_ he thought with a malevolent scowl, _no direct Fulcrum involvement._

Just before he left for dinner, he sent a message to his Fulcrum superiors

***

Unbeknownst to the Fulcrum agent, his conversation was automatically related to a server in Los Angeles where it waited for review. Chuck clanked down the stairs from the Buy More’s entrance to Castle after his shift ended. He couldn’t use the Orange Orange because Sarah had gone home immediately after her cover shift ended. When he asked Sarah about going on a date that night – to reinforce the cover, of course - she murmured something about going home for a workout. It appeared he had no chance now of possibly recapturing some of the interrupted magic from their second first date.

He sighed in resignation as he walked over to the bank of computers in Castle’s main area. That magic seemed further away than ever, with Sarah’s devastating denial to Roan. She must have known he was still wired to them, and wanted him to hear that so he stopped trying to date her for real. Having Bryce show up as soon as Banacek was incarcerated cemented that particular notion. The Chuck Bartowskis of the world always lost the girls to the Bryce Larkins.

With that happy thought, he logged in and pulled up his folder for Operation Python. When he started listening to the first recorded conversation, he paled and immediately brought up General Beckman on Castle’s communication lines. “General, I’m really sorry to bother you like this, but there’s a situation in Mexico…”

***

Sarah sat on a chair by one of the windows in her hotel room looking out over the city. _It’s just not fair!_ The kiss they shared at Casey’s under Roan’s watchful eye was one of the two most passionate kisses she’d had. _I am so screwed._ To have a kiss like that and then not be able to get more was akin to not eating for days, sitting down at a banquet for ten minutes, and then being forced to get up and leave the room.

The most surprising thing about the last couple weeks was Casey’s quiet support when Chuck was going to be extracted. He gave her the time to go say goodbye to Chuck before extraction, which by the subsequent events, had given her time to save him.

As if her situation regarding her asset wasn’t complicated enough, the whole reason they got to share that incredible, passionate, all-consuming kiss that still got her a little hot under the collar when she remembered the way his hands caressed up and down her… _snap out of it, Walker!..._ the whole reason they got to have that was because Chuck got orders to seduce a mark.

The only good that came out of that mission, other than _the kiss_ , was that Chuck got to see things a little more from her side of the world. He got to experience what it was like to lose a little of yourself to another cover and pretend to have feelings he really didn’t in order to seduce that…skank! Lou, Banacek, Jill – she’d seen a picture of Jill when Chuck was in the shower on one of their cover dates – what was it with this stream of brunette skanks? She saw the consternation in his eye as the elevator door closed, but she also saw that he didn’t exactly break that kiss either.

She sighed and started to get up, but then saw Bryce on the phone receiving orders. _Stupid Bryce. Stupid Chuck got me to go on a real date, then laid_ the kiss _on me before kissing that brunette skank, and of course Bryce has to show up and complicate things even more. Why would I think I could even catch a break?_

A passing car honking at something below and brought her attention back to the window. _What the hell am I going to do? I’m getting a crush on my asset – the nerd who kisses like no other – the same asset I’m sworn to protect. I don’t even know how to be a real girlfriend. All Bryce and I had was a friendship with benefits, but that’s all I’ve ever needed. If I was Chuck’s real girlfriend, he’d expect me to open up and share even more about who I am, and if he knew who I was, the people I’ve killed, seduced, and exploited, he’d run screaming to the hills._

_I could lose my job – my life! The CIA is the only thing I know. It’s all I’ve done since I was in high school. If I get kicked out because I let something develop with Chuck, what could I even do with my life? If I got reassigned because I let something develop with Chuck, I’d still be a spy, but a spy without Chuck, never knowing if he was safe or even alive. Process of elimination: Spy Sarah wins out over Real Sarah. As always._

***

Carina sat at her usual table outside her favorite café, letting her morning cappuccino cool in front of her while she planned her next move. The Intersect technician told her that Evan was much better-connected to both Fulcrum and the cartel than she thought he was originally, but she still didn’t know how high he was in the hierarchy. She reached up and brushed an errant strand of hair blowing in the breeze and re-checked first the bulge in her handbag where her Sig rested, then as she crossed her legs she felt the brace of six throwing knives she strapped to her thigh, also still securely in place.

Carrying weapons when trying to look like a female tourist was exceedingly difficult, but she managed it. Rather than by her ankle, where she usually preferred to keep her knives strapped, the strappy sandals and dress forced her to carry them on her thigh. The dress, ending a couple inches above her knees, was a vibrant sapphire. It rose above her waist in a broad V-neck style, which gave her shoulders freedom to move and twist should she find herself in a fight.

A beam of sunlight came through the buildings to hit her dress, reflecting the blue around her, and her mind flashed back to that morning. She was walking along the beach, one of her favorite pastimes whenever she was anywhere with a beach. Maybe someday, if she could survive her career, she could retire and move somewhere with a beach and invite Chuck for a walk with her. _I bet he’d look delicious with some canvas pants and a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, some metal framed sunglasses…Oh yeah he would. Yummy!_

Just as she got out to the middle of the curving shoreline, she happened upon a dark-haired woman sunbathing on a faded blue Adirondack chair. She looked over her shoulder at where she was on the beach before turning to the woman and politely asking,

“Excuse me?”

The woman looked up at her and replied “Yes?” with only a slight accent.

Carina looked slightly bashful before continuing, “I’m sorry to bother you, but could you possibly take a picture of me here?”

The woman smiled and got to her feet. Carina got her cell phone out and after keying the camera function, she passed it over. The woman stepped back as Carina posed by the water with her sandals draped over her shoulder. After the camera snapped, her erstwhile photographer handed the phone back and Carina almost gasped at how good the shot turned out: the wind whipped her hair around her face, and the ocean behind her mirrored both her dress and her eyes, giving her an ethereal quality. Completely unintentionally, she ended up looking like a professionally posed model. _Maybe one day I can give this picture to Chuck._

The woman noticed Carina’s shy smile and smiled softly. “He’s very lucky,” she said enigmatically.

Carina looked up in surprise. “Who is?” she asked a little too quickly.

“The man you want to send this picture to.”

“How did you know there was someone?” Carina was a little uncomfortable with how easily this total stranger was reading her emotions.

“Your smile just then,” the woman responded as she adjusted her sunglasses, “was the smile of someone imagining a very specific reaction. He’s very lucky, and I hope you have the courage to give him this picture very soon.”

Carina just stared. “Thank you,” she breathed finally. Her photographer smiled and went back to her sunbathing, leaving Carina to her inner turmoil.

***

Something seemed a little off about the normally bustling café. The waitress who had taken care of Carina every morning that week wasn’t there, and the café seemed quieter than most days. Carina took a small sip of the liquid and tried to clear her mind.

She flagged a passing waitress and asked where Alejandra was. The woman shrugged and replied that she wasn’t sure, but she thought Alejandra was caring for her sick mother. Carina maintained a concerned expression while her mind went into overdrive.

She knew Alejandra was an orphan who lost both parents to cartel violence. _Something is very wrong here._ Carina pulled her special phone out of her handbag to make a call, but just as she was bringing it up, the shiny metal case she bought for it slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor. Muttering under her breath, Carina leaned over to pick the phone up. That simple act saved her life as a barrage of automatic weapons fire tore into the counter above her, directly where she had been mere seconds before.

She dove under the table and scrambled behind the counter. Without risking a glance at who was shooting at her, she scrambled through the swinging doors back to the kitchen. As soon as the doors closed behind her, she sprang up and hurriedly put on a spare white cook’s jacket, the better to hide the bold blue of her dress and blend into her surroundings. She grabbed a sturdy pot off a hanging rack and waited just beside the door.

Carina counted three voices shouting above the rest out in the café: one female who seemed to be shouting orders at two male voices. One of the men burst through the door with an AK-47. It was not his lucky day, as he picked the opposite direction from which she was standing to check first, and didn’t see the heavy, copper-bottomed pot swinging toward his skull.

Once he hit the floor, Carina started to move over to him to take his weapon, but the second man was quicker through the door than she expected. He charged through like an NFL linebacker, leading with his shoulder, which struck her in the back and sent her stumbling out of the way. She ducked around a kitchen island, trying to present a lower target profile. Ducking around a corner, she had to jump back as a burst of fire pinned her down. Time was running out, and the cook’s jacket blocked access to her knives. She glanced behind her and saw a block of cutlery under another island that she could just barely reach. She leaned over and grabbed two thick steak knives before turning back to where the gunner was waiting for her to emerge.

Under the island she used for shelter, there were large metal mixing bowls. _Not perfect, but they’ll do._ She grabbed the largest one and stood suddenly, hurling the bowl at her attacker’s head. The distraction it provided was enough. She ran around the island and launched a roundhouse kick at the man’s gun, knocking it out of his hands and sending it skittering across the floor. He glared fiercely at her and assumed a fighting stance. The man lunged in rage and managed to land one punch to Carina’s cheek, which staggered her back, but she managed to shake her head and clear the wooziness enough counterattack.

Carina spun the knives in her hands to provide maximum range and started her attack. She faked a stab with the left, and as her attacker twisted aside, protecting his right, his left opened up for her real thrust, which sent the second steak knife directly into his heart. He just had time to grunt in pain and surprise before his body fell to the kitchen floor.

_One left._ A tall, slender brunette woman kicked the swinging door aside and marched in with a huge Desert Eagle pistol leading the way. Her attention was drawn to the two bodies on the floor, which gave Carina enough time to aim and throw her remaining knife into the woman’s gun arm. The cannon clattered away as the woman grasped the wound in pain.

Carina followed that up with a high kick that snapped the woman’s head back. The punch she absorbed earlier still had her woozy, but the wound she inflicted kept the odds evened. Her assailant quickly took a martial arts stance. Carina tried to shake the remaining cobwebs from the haymaker she’d absorbed earlier, but the effort took her attention off for just a second, which gave the other woman just enough time to begin her assault. Carina absorbed a quick jab to the gut, but countered with a flurry of punches that her one-armed attacker was powerless to defend against.

Just when Carina had the woman reeling, she lashed out with a roundhouse kick that knocked Carina backward. By sheer chance, her hands landed on an industrial-sized container of pre-ground pepper used by the cooks as well as a large peppercorn grinder for customers’ use. Hiding them both behind her back, she waited for her attacker to make a move. When the woman launched in with her uninjured arm, Carina swung with the jar of pepper, sending a cloud of the pepper directly into the woman’s face. While she was frantically wiping her eyes, sneezing, and coughing, Carina swung the pepper mill like a baseball bat and landed a devastating blow on the base of the other woman’s skull. She dropped to the floor, unconscious.

Carina slowly walked back out to the restaurant, found her handbag, and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed the local DEA office for a cleaning crew to take care of the dead goon and arrest the two unconscious ones.

***

Carina strode wearily up to her villa, exhausted by the day’s events. Saxton must have figured something out. Those goons – especially the woman – were a little too professional to merely be cartel street muscle. She had to tie things here up and move on to Puerto Vallarta.

As she walked up to the door and started to unlock it, she noticed it was already unlocked. Her senses were immediately on high alert. She never left her residences unlocked. She reached into her bag and withdrew her Sig, then tossed the bag to the ground inside the foyer. After silently closing the door, she unstrapped her shoes and laid them carefully to the side as well.

With nothing on her bare feet to give her presence away, she slowly checked the main floor. The study and kitchen area were clear. Just as she made her way to the glass facing the ocean to check the terrace, she heard the telltale cocking of a gun behind and above her.

“Cassandra my dear, how nice of you to join me this evening. Or should I say, Agent Carina Miller of the DEA.” Saxton’s smug voice, almost dripping in its false sweetness, gave her stomach a churn. He knew who she was. Saxton was indeed connected to Fulcrum to be able to get her main cover identity. Carina straightened and held out her gun hand to show him she was placing the weapon on the side table.

She turned and faced him. “Saxton. What gave me away?”

He smirked at her acceptance of the situation. “You placed the bug well, but carelessly forgot to remove it on your way out.” Enjoying the power he had over the female agent, he lowered his weapon. “You seem to have collected a significant amount of information that used to be in my possession, but even your agency’s computers will have a hard time hacking it.”

Carina folded her arms and returned his smirk. “Is that so? Then why are you here?”

“I’m here to kill you, of course. You know far too much already. To make it even more poetic, you’re going to make it look like a suicide. Death by overdose? The DEA agent, pretending to be a wealthy divorcee, gave in to the very substances she was trying to control. Such a pity!” he affected a sincere tone for this last.

Carina just stared at him. He raised his gun hand again and pointed it directly at her. “I need you to move upstairs slowly. I have everything you need for your ‘suicide’ already set out for you.” He gestured with the weapon.

Knowing she was caught and needing to buy some time, she slowly ascended the stairs. Once at the top, he motioned for her to move toward the master suite. She purposefully dragged her feet, which irritated him so much he walked up behind her and poked her with the gun barrel. That was just the opening she needed.

With a savage growl, she kicked backward at his knee, which snapped in a direction knees were never intended to bend. He howled in pain and tried to fold inward on himself, only to encounter her uppercutting fist with his nose. The sound of the nose breaking reverberated around the upper hallway. Carina grabbed his gun hand and slammed the wrist against the nearest column until the weapon flew out of his nerveless fingers and fell to the floor below. She landed an uppercut directly on his chin, then spun and kicked his stomach so hard he reeled backward. The move gave her enough space and time to slip a couple of throwing knives out of their holster on her thigh.

Despite the extent of his pain, Saxton was still lucid enough to see the nearby vase on the hall table. He picked it up and threw it at Carina, which she dodged, but the maneuver still cost her enough time that he was able to charge her and knock her to the ground. He stepped hard on each of her wrists in turn, forcing her to let go of each knife. She got up, but he was ready with a blow to the side of her head. Still somewhat shaky from the fight earlier, the attack made her off-balance enough that she reeled down the hall.

Saxton picked up one of her knives and started to charge her. At just the right moment, Carina swung the door to the upper terrace open and his momentum carried him outside. There he used the knife to try and slash Carina, but she was too quick and dodged each of the moves. She was rapidly weakening from the dual bouts, which her adversary was quick to exploit.

In a short time, he forced her backward until she was leaning back over the terrace railing with an eighty-foot drop onto the rocks below. His hand encircled her throat, and the sheer malice in his eyes was enough that Carina started flashing back over her life. _I can’t believe this. I am actually going to die._

Just as she gave up hope, her hair started flying around in a manmade breeze. From above the villa, a helicopter with the word _Policia_ on the side slowly descended. Carina could see the black-clad members of the assault team sitting on the side rails with their assault rifles pointed directly at Saxton. A voice on a bullhorn called “Release her and lay face down with your hands on your head or you will be shot.”

Saxton looked Carina in the eye and said with more hatred than she had ever heard in anyone’s voice, “Fulcrum wins.” With that, he let her go, climbed the fence, and to Carina’s gasp, jumped.

***

Chuck stood looking around his room, his eyes fell on a pair of sunglasses on the desk. They weren’t his, but there was a Post-It note stuck to them which read “For a real spy”. _Bryce left these. Great. What will happen if I put them on? Will they overwrite my brain – again?_ He put the glasses on and looked in the mirror to see how they looked. _Not bad. Sophisticated, even._ “Carmichael. Charles Carmichael,” he affected in a Connery impression.

That was the wrong thing to say. The glasses activated and ran through an abbreviated Intersect upload. After the upload released him – which was really the best way to describe it, as his movement was frozen during the upload – he fell down to the floor just like after he uploaded the first Intersect.

“I hate Bryce Larkin,” he mumbled weakly. As his head lulled against the floor, his final thought was of her, _I wish I could still talk to Carina._


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina goes under- undercover to take down another Fulcrum node in Mexico.

**Chapter 9**

_You earned it, Chuck. Make a wish. It’s yours._

Carina’s short black hair swirled around her head as she furiously packed everything she could cram into her duffel while listening out of one ear for any telltale noises of an intruder. Evan’s presence in her villa meant that Fulcrum probably knew she was a spy and probably had a picture of her as well. That meant she had to move and fast. Once the cleaning crew left, the first thing she did was change her hair, taking the time to color and cut it so it looked completely different. It wasn’t perfect, but it would change her appearance from afar and blend her in with locals as well as tourists. Any more complex changes to her appearance would have to wait until she got to her next stop.

The Intersect tech told her Puerto Vallarta would be the best target to strike next, so that’s where she was headed once the packing was done. How to escape? _Fulcrum would be watching all transit. Buses and trains would be too easily isolated. Airports would be too exposed. That leaves a car over dusty Mexican roads or…the_ _Shamrock’s Promise. No contest._ Only Director Maxwell knew Carina specially requested it to supplement her cover in Mexico as a backup. This was one item Carina intended to keep when this mission was over. It would take longer than the other means of escape, but it was more secure and it would still keep her in communications via the onboard satellite link.

Her clothes taken care of, she ransacked the bathroom for her toiletries. She slipped the thumb drive with the cloned data from Saxton’s server into her toiletries case, slipping it into a dummy lipstick container. That piece of equipment gave her a soft grin. _That’s a bit of DEA nerd genius,_ she thought to herself. She finished throwing her bathroom supplies into the case and went back into the bedroom.

Her laptop backpack was already packed and ready to go; she’d review more of the data off Saxton’s computer once she was at sea. Carina took one last glance around her room, but since she hadn’t arrived with much, she didn’t need to leave with much. She made sure her Sig was tucked safely into the waistband of her khaki shorts before shouldering her backpack. Grabbing her duffel, she scanned the room one last time before carefully descending the hidden stairway cut into the rocky cliff. Her tall hiking boots – the left of which hid a holstered hunting knife – served her well on the way down.

The _Shamrock’s Promise_ was waiting for her. With full fuel bunkers and a stocked galley, she could set the autopilot once she was far enough out to sea and finally catch her breath. She smiled in the twilight. Her favorite green bikini – a twin of the black one she wore on a certain beach in Malibu – was waiting in her duffel for the hours she would have to sunbathe the next day while scanning her laptop.

Black – dresses, lingerie, and bikinis – was for missions when she needed to be seductive. Green was her favorite color; she wore it when she could just be herself. Green was soft and earthy; it stood for luck and growth. Green was the color of the country her parents had emigrated from shortly after their marriage in 1972. She stifled a tear at the memory of her parents’ tale of Bloody Sunday and an uncle she would never meet in this lifetime. Her parents headed west to America after that terrible day.

_Focus!_ Carina snapped back to the present. Reminiscing would do her no good right now. She had to get out to sea. She cast off the lines and started up the inboard motors before heading out of the hidden cove. Once she was a few miles out, she set the autopilot, which told her she had at least a full day of cruising before Puerto Vallarta. Thus assured, went below, unpacked her laptop and took the thumb drive from its hiding place. With the computer plugged in and booted up, she connected the USB drive and started running the decryption software again. The status bar told her she had three hours before it was done, so she had literally nothing to do at this point but take a cat nap – which is exactly what she did.

***

Carina’s cell phone beeped an alarm much too soon. She groggily shut it off before stumbling – aided partially by the sea’s swells – to the galley and starting a pot of coffee. While the coffee maker ran through its operations, she stretched her tired muscles and watched the sea. Boating was something she’d discovered in college and vowed never to give up completely. Even if it was just a day trip out onto Lake Michigan the isolation she felt on the water helped clear her mind and focus her concentration.

Accepting this assignment and leaving Chuck behind had been the right decision – she was still convinced of that. Her carelessness had gotten him shot and almost killed, so she had to go. Sarah would protect him; keeping him safe was her job and Carina knew better than most how dedicated Walker was to her missions. She still wasn’t sure how Chuck had ended up in the spy world. His lack of training was as obvious as the curls on his head, so whatever he was doing in the field with a joint team of protectors had to be huge.

Carina just hoped he made it out of the life still maintaining his optimism. _Just because leaving whatever friendship we were developing was the right decision doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it,_ Carina thought with a frown and a growing depression.

The laptop finished its decryption while the coffee brewed, so after she poured a mug, she took the computer over to a lounge chair and sipped the liquid caffeine while she scanned through the recovered documents. One thing no one could ever say about Saxton was that he had been disorganized. His drive had subfolders for each of the sites her Intersect contact had mentioned – Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, Cozumel, Cabo, and Tijuana. Acapulco was small potatoes; starting there had been the right decision, because Saxton and his data was the only really valuable thing she could have taken away. Puerto Vallarta housed another processing site, but the facility also had extensive computer technology and a money operation as well.

Carina set her course for Boca de Tomatlán, a small town a stone’s throw down the coast from Puerto Vallarta, just in case Fulcrum was watching the harbor. Finished with everything she could do now, she checked her fuel state, the wind and weather, and found nothing amiss. With time to fill, she changed into her green bikini, spread a towel on the deck, and finally relaxed.

***

Sarah stormed out of the suite’s living room, livid at how Chuck was pressing for more information again. _He never knows when to stop!_ She stifled a small smile at how his face contorted in fear when the pencil perforated the picture frame. He definitely got that message. Her past was off-limits beyond what he absolutely needed to know for the reunion.

She huffed into the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup, just to be positive it was perfect for the evening. As she looked into the mirror, Sarah remembered the night Chuck met Carina, when the two of them and Morgan played Know Ya! with Ellie and Devon. She had more fun that evening as she got to know bits and pieces of Chuck’s past.

A few weeks later, the trip to Stanford drove home the biggest event in Chuck’s pre-Intersect life. He showed a confidence in himself on his old campus that she’d only seen hints of since then. Not for the first time did she curse her old partner for taking that away from him.

As she made eye contact with her reflection, she saw herself through Chuck’s eyes. The anger in her face marred her normal expression. The woman who asked him to trust her had just thrown a pencil through a photo of him because he wanted to know how one of her old aliases spelled her name.

Sarah blew out a frustrated breath, now more angry at herself than Chuck. Why was she so mad at him? All he wanted was to get to know her a little bit better, like she knew him, and in fear, she threatened him. _Maybe because if he got to know the real you, like he wants, he would run screaming from the room?_ Her reflection stared back at her.

***

Carina sighed explosively as she sank back into the plush chair in her new safe house. The trip up to Puerto Vallarta had taken longer than she expected, but she was finally in her apartment. The DEA safe houses were off-limits after her encounter with Saxton. She had to assume they were all either compromised or under surveillance, so she picked up an off-the-books apartment in an area of town off the tourist path. The place actually looked worse from the outside than it did on the inside, but it had two key features that appealed to her: they accepted cash and short-term leases, in that order.

She brought her laptop over and brought up the cloned files. Carina still could scarcely believe her luck at the data take: Saxton kept folders separate for individual sources of drugs, storage and processing locations, shipping schedules, and bank accounts.

There was one folder in particular marked PV which contained a single document. When she opened up the file, it showed a rough map with one building marked. Unfortunately, none of the streets were labeled, nor were any of the buildings, a fact which had her grunting in exasperation. Either she had to get a highly detailed map of the city and go over it block by block or…Carina grabbed her Intersect phone and punched in the number for her support.

***

Chuck was sharing snacks in the crowd with Ratner and really getting into Sarah’s 10-year high school reunion when his tech support phone rang. He searched the crowd, but Sarah was nowhere to be seen. Casey was still DJ-ing the party – a thought which made him want to pick up some brain bleach on the way home that evening – so he had time to slip over to a quiet corner of the gym to answer the call.

“Intersect support. How are you this evening?” He said in a hushed tone, looking around for anyone who might have wandered closer.

Carina cocked her head. Why was the tech almost whispering? “I’m fine, thanks. Why are you whispering?”

Chuck thought quickly for an excuse. “I, uh, didn’t want to wake my...coworker. She was working so hard she fell asleep on the desk. What did you need help with tonight?”

She shook her head. His tone didn’t matter as much as the information he gave her. “I’m in Puerto Vallarta, and I have a small portion of an unmarked map that I took off Saxton’s hard drive. I have no idea where it is in the city, and I’m hoping there’s a way for me to send it to you for the Intersect to scan and tell me where in the city it is.”

Chuck shook his head in consternation. “Seriously? There isn’t really a good way for me to…handle…an image right now. Is there any way this can wait?”

As tired as she was from the travel, Carina couldn’t bite back the sarcastic reply, “Oh sure. Let me just take a nap and not worry about the subversive group trying to take over the government while you do whatever it is you have to do to be ready to help!”

Chucks head fell. After pushing Sarah too far for information about her past resulted in a punctured picture of the two of them, he had to go and piss off another field agent. “Sorry. You didn’t deserve that. It’s been kind of a long few days here. I have an idea. Try to take a picture of the site with your phone and text it to mine. I’ll see if I can fl…rig something up.”

His defeated tone took Carina aback. She heard pain and frustration, and for some reason she couldn’t quite figure out, she felt the need to reach out to this anonymous technician. “Is everything ok? You sound pretty rough,” she put a little smile in her voice to try to cheer the man – at least the computerized male voice – up, “and here I thought you were so eager to hear from me.” As she said this her eyes trailed to the row of apartment buildings visible outside her window.

“It’s…it’s my girlfriend. Things haven’t been very solid between us lately,” Chuck answered with generic enough information that it could apply to anyone.

“Your girlfriend,” Carina replied with the slow, flat tone of someone who doesn’t believe a word they were just told, before remembering she needed this guy to help her. “Well, what’s been wrong? I’m a girl, maybe I can help.”

Chuck laughed mirthlessly as he scanned the gym. Still no Sarah to be found and Casey was still controlling the music. “I wish you could, but it’s…complicated. My girlfriend isn’t exactly the sharing type, and I tried to get her to open up a little bit more than she’s used to, and it didn’t work out very well.”

Carina sighed. _Why in the world am I trying to help this guy out when I need to know about Fulcrum’s operational base?_ “I’m really sorry, but, can I send you this picture so we can figure out where I need to go before we talk about girlfriend issues?”

He shook his head to regain focus. “Oh, yeah. Go ahead and shoot it over. Sorry about that, I just kinda get lost when I can’t figure her out.” He heard nothing for a few seconds before his phone beeped to let him know he had a new picture message. Chuck pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the screen. The shape of the building and the immediate streets around triggered a flash. “Oh wow, yeah, this building is important. It’s a cover office in the Las Palmas area of the city, on the Paeso de Las Palmas. There’s one floor above ground that acts as the legitimate front company, but the two floors underground have the drug operations and a server bank for their data.” He shook his head in an attempt to clear it, and saw Ratner waving to him over the crowd.

Carina looked back down at the image. She had a starting point now, but she needed more equipment. “Is there any way you can arrange to send me a new jump drive? My last one is just about full after taking the data off Saxton’s computer.”

Chuck pulled the phone away from his head to give it an annoyed glance. “Didn’t you just give me a load of crap for saying I needed an hour or two to be able to see a picture and now you want me to ship you some equipment?”

She shook her head, even though he couldn’t see the gesture. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. The trip from Acapulco kind of wore me down. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I really need the equipment to get at the data in the Fulcrum servers. What can you help me with?”

He sighed, mollified. “Look, I can see if I can…FedEx…something to you overnight. Can you text me your address?”

Carina quirked her head to one side at the strange emphasis he put on the word ‘FedEx’. Somehow that sounded familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on why. “I’m not totally comfortable with sending my location in a communication I’m not sure is secure.”

He laughed. “Trust me, this is secure. The only people in the world who can see or hear our conversations are the two of us – these phones are totally unique. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

She sighed as she stood, unhappy with the situation, but with no way around it. She had to trust him. “Ok, I’ll send you my address. You can send me the right kind of drive?”

Chuck snorted. “Please, I do this for a living! I’ll even throw in a few extras you might need.”

She stopped pacing at the apartment’s small kitchen. “Thanks, I owe you one. Now, do you want to talk about your girlfriend problems?”

Chuck scanned the gym again before answering. “No, but thanks anyway. My girlfriend can’t be figured out by normal humans. Sometimes I think she’s from a different planet, sent here to confuse and tantalize Earthling men.”

Carina stared at her phone. “Um, ok. Well, as soon as we hang up I’ll text you my location, and I’ll be on the lookout for that package tomorrow. Thanks again.”

“No problem,” Chuck said as he heard the reunion host announce that Jennifer Burton had won Reunion Queen, “Oh, crap, I really have to go now, though. I’ll send that out tonight, promise.” He killed the call and stood up with Casey to look for Sarah, before she emerged from a hallway, barefoot, soaked to the skin, and bleeding from her lip. When she had the crown on her head, his face broke out into a huge grin.

***

That night at Castle, after Heather and her goons had been processed, Chuck told Casey and Sarah to head on home so he could handle something for his night job. He looked through the base’s technology stores, before finding what he needed. Taking a large Buy More shipping box, he loaded it with a not-yet-commercially-available jump drive capable of storing ten full terabytes of data, an external hard drive with two pieces of malware – including the Bartowski Special – for her to upload, an electronic lock pick, a dummy cell phone that was actually a universal explosives detonator, a magnetic GPS tracking device and its receiver, and finally, a prototype bulletproof vest made so that it appeared to be part of a woman’s wardrobe which also had several strategically-placed blood bags. Chuck was about to close it when a thought struck him. He searched quickly, marveling at the variety of things Castle had for different missions. Dropping a few last things in, he sealed the box, addressed it with the location his contact gave him and dropped it off at an all-night FedEx store.

***

Carina was just settling down to eat a small meal of enchiladas when her apartment’s buzzer went off. Cursing under her breath, she strode over to the door and pressed the intercom, “Quien es?”

“FedEx, ma’am,” came the reply, “I have a package for a Cassandra Williamson.”

“Be right down,” she said curtly.

Carina slipped her Sig in the back of her waistband before grabbing her keys and heading down the stairs. When she got to the bottom floor, she looked in the lobby’s mirror before turning the corner to the front door. Sure enough, there was a man in a FedEx uniform waiting with a much larger box than she’d expected based on what she requested from her Intersect tech. She just asked for a jump drive, so at the most she thought it would come in a padded envelope, but this box was a good three feet on each side. _What the hell did he send me?_

She opened the door with her left hand, keeping her right hand by her hip to draw her weapon as fast as possible if needed.

The delivery guy held out a scanner and said “Sign here, please.”

Carina scrawled her alias’ name before handing the device back. The driver nodded before squatting down and lifting the box with some effort. “Um, if you want, I can heft this upstairs for you. It’s pretty heavy and I wouldn’t want you to strain anything,” he grunted as he looked her up and down.

She didn’t even bother fighting the urge to roll her eyes. She took the box from him effortlessly and replied “No thanks, I’ve got it.” His eyes widened before looking defeated at his dismissal.

After the truck drove off, she got into the elevator and rode upstairs. When she got back to her apartment, she put the box down and gasped out a breath. As she bent over with her hands on her knees, her eyes fell on the ‘Buy More’ logo running in a stripe around the outside of the box.

***

Carina walked through the doors feeling distinctly ridiculous. Her missions required any number of unusual disguises in the past, but this was something entirely new. _If I ever meet that Intersect nerd in person I’m going to shove his face through a pizza for this._ She tugged the brim of her Domino’s cap down further over her eyes so the security cameras couldn’t get a good look at her face. The doors closed behind her, and the security guards in front of her looked her up and down appreciatively. She successfully fought the urge to shudder, but it was a struggle.

“Hi boys! I have a pizza delivery,” she said with a flirtatious smile. The guard looked dubious. She hefted her bag for emphasis. “Pizza?”

The guards shared a glance before looking her up and down again. Deciding the thin, attractive brunette was not a threat, the man behind the center of the desk handed her a visitor’s badge and pointed her down the hall. “Make sure to bring this back when you’re done.”

She smiled her thanks and walked through a set of swinging doors. Once those closed behind her, she started looking for either an elevator or a stairwell. Off to her left, past a row of cubicles was a door marked ‘stairs’. She headed off that way, and once she was by the door, did a quick scan of the surrounding halls to make sure no one saw her, then pushed the door open and pulled it closed quickly.

Not seeing any cameras trained on the stairwell, Carina ran down the stairs jumping two at a time. She skipped the first level and went as low as possible. The Intersect tech who cursed her with the pizza delivery uniform told her the lowest floor was the drug packaging area, while the immediate floor below ground was the server bank. She kept her eye open for guard patrols as she descended, but saw no one.

She opened the door to the lowest floor and looked around. She saw a huge room, hollowed out of the earth far beyond the boundaries of the above-ground facility. The array of cocaine-processing equipment was huge, beyond anything she’d seen in any of the other cartel sites thus far. She didn’t have anything close to what she would need to take out this facility. Closing the door, she tried to think. Disabling the amount of equipment she saw was far beyond the meager array of explosives in her pizza delivery box.

The only way she could destroy that amount of machinery would be to fry the computers controlling it, and…she had to admit…the Intersect guy had given her just what she needed.

She went back up a floor, ever alert for guards, but seeing none. Carina entered the floor with the severs and looked around. She saw three men looking at a terminal a few computer banks down. Slowly and quietly she lowered her bag to the floor. She reached behind her and pulled her silenced Sig, before slowly advancing on the balls of her feet. “Freeze!” she shouted.

All three men jumped and reached for their weapons. Carina squeezed off three quick shots, hitting each in the head before advancing on the terminal previously occupied by her three victims. The dummy terminal luckily had a USB port, so she hurriedly opened the delivery bag and pulled out the USB drive she’d been sent with the rest of the equipment. Quickly connecting it to the terminal, she searched for as many folders as possible and downloaded those to the drive, before opening the executable file marked “BS”. Once that file had transferred to the terminal, she made sure it had started to run before unplugging the drive and moving to the exit.

Opening the door, she saw five guards waiting for her. Carina quickly closed the door and tried to figure out her next move. She ran down a bank of computers and ducked behind a solid row. She drew her silenced pistol as she heard the door open behind her. Carina turned down the other side of the computers and saw two men advancing toward her. Almost reflexively, she fired two shots under the visors of their helmets and dropped them. The three others ran over to that aisle, but she ducked around the corner, avoiding their rush.

Carina took a position on the corner of one of the banks of computers. One of the men came around the side nearest the door while the remaining two went further into the server room. She huffed out a breath, blowing errant strands of hair out of her eyes. As the men approached from one side, she turned and said in a deliberately coquettish voice, “Now, boys, don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on a lady?”

The men turned to each other and that split second of indecision was enough for Carina to make her move. She closed the gap between them and dropped one with a flying kick. The other managed to get in a lucky punch to her midsection, but as she doubled over, it gave her the excuse to drop and do a spin kick to knock the guard on his back. In a flash, she was upright with her foot on his throat. Carina pointed her gun at his face and growled, “Give me your radio or you’ll never see sunlight again.”

The guard – eyes wide with fear, quickly handed over his earpiece and transmitter. Carina looked him in the eye, and after very quickly thanking him, pistol-whipped the guard into unconsciousness. She slipped the earpiece into her ear and clipped the receiver to her belt. The remaining two guards were moving further and further down the rows, away from her. Thinking quickly, she slipped out the door she came in and shot the electronic lock, sealing the two guards in.

Carina ran down the hallway to the stairwell, but as she opened the door, a short man with receding dark brown hair and a huge Desert Eagle pistol stopped her. “Agent Miller! It’s such a pleasure to meet you! My name is Nathan Rhyerson, but you can call me Ned. Saxton told us about your unfortunate arrival before he…ended his involvement with Fulcrum. Unfortunately for you…” his voice trailed off as the butt of Carina’s pistol encountered his jaw. The pathetic-looking man collapsed to the ground, and Carina stepped over his body and moved back up to the main floor. She could hear the creak, shriek, and grind of machinery seizing up behind her as she ascended the stairs.

From there, it was nothing at all to drop her visitor badge off at the desk and waltz out the front door, swaying her hips as she went to distract the guards from her face.

***

“Agent Miller has escaped,” Fulcrum’s head of Mexican operations said into the phone, “and she must be stopped. You are authorized to take whatever measures are necessary to deal with her so that she never poses a threat to Fulcrum again.” The brunette on the other end of the call nodded and terminated the communication. She had a new assignment and Sidney Prince never failed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina meets a new ally and a new enemy.

**Chapter 10**

_What about her? Our relationship is a cover._

***

A warm breeze blew gently in off the sea and stirred some errant strands of her newly-blonde hair while Carina reclined on the cushioned bench on her new balcony. She adjusted the straps of her forest green bikini, making sure she was adequately covered before smearing on more sunscreen. Lounging in the sun, even if she wasn’t reclining on the sand, still beat belly-crawling through the desert waiting for smugglers or trekking through central Asia following the opium market.

She’d checked into a beachside resort under a new alias – Rachel Peterson. Cancun was decent, but Atlantic beaches, even those on the Caribbean, always came up short when compared to Pacific beaches – any Pacific beaches. Regardless, something about the sea always drew her no matter where she lived, which made her last safe house in Puerto Vallarta so easy to let go. The only view that apartment had was of the tops of other apartment buildings. _So grey and dreary,_ she thought with a relaxed sigh and stretch. _This is so much better!_ The only thing missing was someone to trade off applying sunscreen.

After the satisfying stretch, she reached for her computer bag. Carina fitted the special USB drive she’d received from her support technician into the laptop’s port and waited for the computer to bring up the folders she’d copied before frying the system. One of the first she saw – right after ‘locations’ – was a folder labeled ‘recruits’. Carina shook her head at the lack of security; Fulcrum never thought anyone would find their Puerto Vallarta site so they never bothered giving their files random names.

She opened the file and found a notation at the top of the spreadsheet: ‘Possibly in possession of GLF, Los Angeles.” While Carina had no idea who GLF was, the fact that he was in LA was surprising. Maybe Chuck, Sarah, and Casey were dealing with GLF, but she would have to find someone in Cancun to get some more information. Scanning down the list, she came up with six names stationed in or near Cancun, but without anything more than names and ages, she had no way of picking the likeliest candidate for her to target.

One of the non-Cancun area names stuck out to her but she couldn’t figure out why. Jill Roberts was assigned to target Guy LaFleur in the Los Angeles area, but… _GLF! Guy LaFleur! Oh shit! Wait. Jill Roberts…why do I know that name?_

As hard as Carina wracked her memory, she couldn’t remember where she’d heard the name Jill Roberts before, but there wasn’t much she could do about that right now anyway. Unless…she laughed to herself. This would give her the chance to get even for the ridiculous disguise she had to wear in Puerto Vallarta.

Carina fished her intersect phone out of her bag and called her contact. A few seconds later, the unusually stammering computerized voice answered “Y-Yes, Agent Williamson?”

Carina leaned forward and put a hint of menace into her voice: “Just wanted to know where you are so I can drop off your Domino’s pizza, Mr. Intersect Technician.”

He laughed nervously. “Didn’t that work though? Did you get past the security guards?”

She went quiet for a moment before reluctantly answering in a small voice: “Well, yes, but…”

“See? I knew it was a good idea!” Even the computerization of his voice couldn’t hide the excitement in his tone.

Carina rolled her eyes as she heard the clink of dishes in the background. “What exactly are you doing? Washing dishes?” she asked.

“Oh, that? No, I’m taking coffee to my…girlfriend.” He looked anxiously back to his room to make sure his ex/current girlfriend/Fulcrum agent wasn’t looking for him.

Carina, remembering their conversation in Puerto Vallarta, eagerly questioned “Ah-ha! Taking your girlfriend coffee in the morning now? I take it things have gotten less complicated?”

Chuck looked down at the two solitary coffee mugs on the tray with their sweeping handles. “Well, not so much. I meant my ex-girlfriend who I’ve recently started seeing again.”

She brought her hand to her forehead, trying to understand. “So let me get this straight: you couldn’t figure things out with your current girlfriend, so you got back together with someone with whom things didn’t work in the first place?”

“Well, when you put it like that it sounds kind of silly, but it made sense at the time, I promise,” Carina was again struck by how expressive the technician’s voice was – this time she heard his embarrassment through the computerization.

She just shook her head. “Well, unfortunately, I don’t have time to sort through that with you. I have six names I need to run through the Intersect to identify the best target for exploitation, so I can start working my way up through Fulcrum’s Mexican operations.”

Chuck looked around again and responded “Ok, I have a few minutes. Hit me.”

Carina rattled off the six names, waiting while the technician typed them through the computer. It almost sounded like he shook his head before he started talking again. “I think Cooper Hanley is your best bet. He’s young, but he didn’t join Fulcrum because he believed in their cause or anything. They blackmailed him by threatening his parents. The others were all ideological recruits. Hanley’s staying at a resort on the beach in Cancun.” He mentioned the name of the resort, which was just a little ways up the beach from Carina’s own.

She looked around the room and sighed. “Ok, thank you. I’ll make contact and see what I can get out of him. Maybe he’ll be able to give me something useful.”

“Was that all you needed?” Chuck asked as he picked the tray up again.

“Well, there was something else but it might not be directly related,” Carina said hesitantly.

“What’s that?”

“Well, the list I have contains a notation that these names might be in possession of someone identified only as GLF in Los Angeles, and that another Fulcrum agent named Jill Roberts was assigned to…are you ok? What was that?” Carina stopped as she heard a crash in the background.

“Oh wow! I, um, dropped the tray. Jill Roberts….you need to forget you ever heard that name. I- we have a team dealing with her. Please don’t ever mention that name again. I have to go now. Call me the next time you need help with something.” The words came out in a rush and he ended the call.

Carina stared at her phone. _That was unexpected._ Why did he react so badly to the mention of Jill Roberts? _Hmm. I’ll have to ask him about that some other time when he isn’t so sensitive about it._ She went back to Cooper Hanley’s file, which fortunately included a photo and a location. He was stationed in permanent residence in a Fulcrum-owned resort just up the beach from her own.

Furrowing her brow in consternation, Carina brought up the file marked ‘locations’ and confirmed the resort’s coordinates along with a somewhat worrying notation. Apparently the property was used both to sell cocaine to tourists, as a way to move money and collect data using the transient population. She blew out a frustrated sigh. Getting close to Cooper and getting him to turn over information meant she had to give up her room at the new resort.

***

Sarah pulled her head back into the tent and frowned. _Why in the world did Chuck drop his tray toward the end of that call?_ One moment he was talking and even smiling a little while the next he dropped the tray and looked like he’d seen a ghost. It had to have been something he heard on his call, but whatever he could hear on his extra assignment to make him react that way was beyond her. _Then again, there are too many things he’s done the last few weeks that I don’t understand._

The despair she felt as Chuck broke up with her after Bryce left again faded with the way he helped her get over her high school reunion jitters. Once that pencil penetrated the picture, he stopped pushing her for details about her past and just let it be about the present. When he wasn’t trying to figure out what their relationship actually was, or learn more information about her past, their interactions became smoother and the stress was gone. She could be herself; just a girl with a guy she liked and wanted to be with.

Not long after Chuck helped her deal with leftover high school demons, she saw a chance to thank him by slaying one of his own demons. After he saved the world by playing a video game, she was able to get Casey to help her push Stanford into finally awarding Chuck the diploma he so richly deserved. It took a lot of effort, but the smile on his face when he realized one of the biggest hurdles to the life he’d always dreamed of was gone was the kind that always made her stomach flutter. She had to take a sip of beer at that point just to calm her nerves. She knew exactly what he wished for when he saw that satellite.

Then Jill came along. They had been making such good progress, then the Skank herself had to waltz back into his life, and Chuck waltzed right back to her. _Another brunette_ , she sighed. Jill wasn’t just any brunette, however. Jill was _the_ brunette: the one who left Chuck in his tailspin.

Sarah had to play dumb for everyone – Casey, Ellie, and even Morgan – sad, but brave, bearing up while her erstwhile boyfriend went back to his old flame. She knew exactly why he did it. Jill was his one that got away, and if he could somehow rekindle their affair and show her he was worth another shot, he would have regained a tie to the pre-Buy More Chuck; the more successful Chuck, and it would take some of the sting out of the last five years. _Plus,_ she mused as she helped Casey fold up their massage table, _it would give him a bridge out of the spy world._ This last came with a snort. Casey looked over with a confused expression, but she shook her head and he let it go. _So much for that bridge out of the spy world, Chuck._ Skankarella was Fulcrum, a spy herself, and had now stuck that knife back into Chuck all over again.

Maybe once they dealt with Jill they would have a chance to sit down and sort their relationship out again. She wasn’t going to make it easy for him. Stupidity like what he displayed – despite the reasonable motivations, she acknowledged – required some atonement, especially with the constant way he took Jill’s side over her own whenever a disagreement surfaced. She couldn’t – wouldn’t – just give him a free pass. They would have to be friends again before restarting their cover relationship. _Again._ Sarah grunted in frustration as they loaded the van and headed back to Castle. Jill just screwed everything up wherever she went.

***

Chuck got a new tray of coffee mugs to take back to Agent Sandstorm… _Jill_ he corrected himself angrily. She might be a spy, but he knew the girl before the spy, and there had to be some good still in her. The irony of the Star Wars reference, which normally would have merited at least a chuckle, passed without his notice. Jill was a spy, and his world was once again turned on its head.

He shook his head. Casey would give him crap for months about trusting Jill over Sarah, that was a given. What he couldn’t predict was how Sarah would react. Although she appeared nothing but supportive, especially since their cover was technically broken up at the time – but every so often he caught a lingering look, a reluctant tone, or a contact held too long that told him she was having trouble with his new relationship.

It was brutal, but he had to be strong for her. He had to be strong to protect Sarah. Bryce’s little speech the last time he dropped in still rang in Chuck’s ears. Even Bryce had seen that Sarah had feelings for him, but he had also driven home that Sarah’s feelings for Chuck would get her killed. She wasn’t able to act decisively in their mission, and almost cost them the money and the data.

That’s why he broke things off with her. She had to keep the mission first and not let her feelings for him – even the thought that Sarah had feelings for him still sent a shiver down his spine – get in the way. He looked up as he approached his room again.

_What the hell am I going to do with Jill? How can I act normal when I know she’s a Fulcrum agent?_ Jill had betrayed him again. He looked up in surprise as the realization hit him just before he opened the door. That was the key: Jill came into his life again, pretended to gain his affection again, and betrayed him again.

That was how he was going to act normal. He was sick and tired of being screwed over by Jill. It was time to do some screwing of his own… _not the exact phrase I wanted, but it works._ His stride into the room was infinitely more confident and purposed than it had been when he cowardly ran out moments before.

***

Carina lay on the beach in a tiny black string bikini with her sunglasses and a large hat protecting her face – and hiding where her eyes looked. It took a few days to get Cooper’s routine down, but she finally had it figured. Every day at the same time he went to the same spot on the beach and got some sun while he ogled the Spring Break teeny-boppers. _Creeper_ , she thought as she watched him approach. She beat him to his spot today and waited for her moment.

“Excuse me,” she heard above her, “You’re in my spot.”

She looked up, made a show of removing her sunglasses and hat, and looked the intruder in the eye. Carina allowed a lascivious smirk to appear on her face as she responded, “Is that so?”

Cooper struggled to form a coherent thought as two clear, piercing blue eyes found his own and bore through him. “W-well maybe we could share it just this once. What do you say?”

Carina let the smirk turn into a grin and patted the sand next to her. “I’d say that sounds like a plan. What’s your name, stud?”

“Cooper, actually, although I’d answer to stud for you.” He said with a leer as his eyes raked her up and down.

“I’ll bet you would,” Carina snorted as she rolled over, “Be a dear and rub sunscreen on my back and maybe we’ll get to a first-name basis.”

Cooper grinned at the invitation, figuring today was his lucky day. He knelt down to the knockout blonde and squirted some of her sunscreen onto his hands. “So what did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t. It’s Rachel. Rachel Peterson actually,” Carina muttered into the sand. Getting a sunscreen massage was a definite fringe benefit to the job, and his hands were really talented. Carina appeared to melt into his ministrations, the better to boost his ego. His hands traced a path from her neck, down her back and around the string on her top, down her sides to her thighs and her lower legs, careful to avoid any inappropriate areas. His fingers had the added bonus of sending waves of relaxation through the stressed agent. “This might be a little forward, Cooper, but anyone with hands that talented deserves a reward. Would you like to get dinner tonight?” She looked over her shoulder as he reached her feet.

She missed Cooper’s huge grin at her brazenness. “Absolutely. Where are you staying?” Carina told him the name of her resort and her room number, and he laughed. “That’s mine too! I’m just a couple floors below you. I’ll just meet you in the lobby at 8, then?”

Carina rolled over and winked. “Sounds good to me. Now, how about doing my front?”

***

Dinner at the resort’s Italian restaurant was an exercise in gastronomic art. The menu was exquisite, from the light appetizer of melon, prosciutto, and crackers to the first plate of _rigatoni Bolognese_ , followed by a main course of chicken _saltimbocca_ , finished with the best _tiramisu_ Carina had ever tasted. The wine pairings were superb, and as the drink flowed so did the conversation, although Carina’s tipsy manner was the product of years of training, not excessive imbibing.

As interested as she appeared in Cooper’s inane conversation, her mind kept going back to California. She knew now that it had been a mistake to just up and leave without any word to Chuck. Carina missed their conversations and the way he would somehow find a way to help her resolve whatever conflicts were troubling her at the time. Rather than wallowing in despair and self-loathing, Carina saw the problem and resolved to fix it; when Operation Python was over, she’d be on the first plane to LAX, find Chuck, and beg his forgiveness.

Her current dinner companion made the promise of that day seem an eternity in the future. She had noticed Cooper’s glances on the beach lingering on yellow bikinis longer than other colors, so her yellow-tinted eye shadow along with a brand-new yellow dress – purchased before dinner and after she left the beach – was designed to catch her mark’s eye. Her perception was as unerring as ever, and Cooper could barely take his eyes off her.

***

Unbeknownst to Carina, at that moment Fulcrum agents disguised as housekeeping staff were entering the room number Cooper reported to them and, finding the cell phone she left on her dresser, implanted a very tiny bug with a GPS transponder. They slipped back out with no one taking any note of their entry.

***

The two giggling people stumbled off the elevators, locked in an amorous embrace. They hung on each other, exchanging kisses and groping as they haltingly made their way down the hall toward a room. The man fumbled with his key while the woman lasciviously planted kisses up and down his cheek and neck, distracting him further.

Once they managed to get the door open and almost fell inside, Carina swayed into the living area, using the magic of her hips to focus his attention. “Cooper, honey?” She turned over her shoulder to watch his hungry leer as he made his way over to her. She fully turned and grabbed his tie, playfully tracing her fingers up the fabric until she had a firm grip, then she spun him around until he sat on the couch. Carina cocked her hips to one side. “You just make yourself comfortable here while I go freshen up and mix something a little...stiffer.”

Cooper watched her head into the suite’s bathroom as he kicked off his shoes and tossed his suit jacket. A few moments later, Carina opened the bathroom door and sauntered out in a brand-new set of black lingerie. She walked over to the room’s bar and with her back to him, knowing his eyes weren’t above her waist.

Carina poured two glasses of tequila, but her position concealing the glasses allowed her to slip a strong sedative into Cooper’s glass, one that would have him unconscious in moments. She walked over to her mark, handed over his glass, and then with a saucy smirk, said “cheers to new friends,” as they clinked glasses.

Hanley tossed off the whole glass before his eyes rolled back into his head and he fell back onto the couch. “Lightweight,” Carina grunted derisively. She switched out of her seduction clothes into a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt. Hanley would be out for at least eight hours, and she needed a full night of sleep to make the next part of her plan work. Before she went to bed, she searched her mark for any weapons. She found a gun which she disassembled and reassembled, minus the firing pin. She lay down – on top of the covers – and not for the first time wished she could have another evening phone call with Chuck.

***

When Carina woke up, Hanley was still out, so she changed back into her seduction gear. As he started to stir, she snuggled into him on the couch. He woke up hazy, which gave her the window to plant a few suggestions in his mind about what happened, before beginning the tough part of her day. He groggily noticed the loose tie around his neck and unbuttoned shirt. His pants were haphazardly thrown on the sofa – another touch of Carina’s to make him think he got lucky.

When Hanley was in the shower, she walked into the steamy bathroom, fully dressed with her Sig out and began her move. “Cooper?”

His reply was muffled, but understandable, “Yea, Rach? What is it?”

“When exactly were you going to tell me you’re working with Fulcrum?”

Hanley drew back the shower curtain far enough to see the mien of determination and the barrel of the pistol pointed at his heart. The look of sheer betrayal on his face was almost comical as he swore under his breath and resumed rinsing shampoo out of his hair. “So this was all a setup? You’re going to either shoot me or turn me in now, is that it?”

Carina was actually surprised at the level of pain his voice carried. She lowered the angle of her gun, but still kept it in a firing grip. “If I told you no, would you believe me?”

He shut the water off, took a deep breath, and reached outside the curtain for a towel. As Hanley dried off, he growled, “Why should I believe you?”

Carina put the gun down on the counter with an audible _clink_. “Because I know you didn’t turn traitor of your own free will. Those bastards coerced you into working for them.”

He heard the gun go down, but it was the sincerity in her voice that did the trick. “How can I trust you?” he asked as he stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped around his waist.

Carina looked him squarely in the eye and said “Because I know they threatened your parents. You had no choice. Believe me: I want to help you. We can take them down, and I can do what I can to tell the agency you weren’t rogue – that you were coerced and you helped destroy Fulcrum.”

Hanley looked at her unblinking gaze and swallowed heavily. He nodded and said, “Maybe I’m crazy, but I trust you. What do you need from me?”

Carina gestured for him to precede her out of the bathroom, then followed, making sure she still had her weapon, just in case he was double-crossing her. “Give me some kind of information I can take to my bosses to prove you’re willing to fight against Fulcrum. Then I’ll meet up with you later today and escort you to the local CIA office. They’ll get you back to the US.”

Hanley was hurriedly dressing while she spoke. By the time she finished, he was done and sat down in a chair next to the couch. “The only thing I know right now that I can tell you is that Fulcrum is looking for someone important. Bryce Larkin stole something huge from them and Fulcrum wants him back,” he said with his head in his hands.

That posture blocked his view of the unadulterated shock on Carina’s face. _Bryce Larkin is still alive?! Did Sarah know this? Did Chuck?_ So great was her surprise that she almost didn’t notice he was speaking again. “I can go to the local facility and see what more information I can get for you. Meet me in the alley behind Ricardo’s at 2 pm and I’ll bring what I can find with me. Just promise me that the Agency will put my parents into Witness Protection, all right? They can’t suffer because of this. They’ve already been put in too much danger.”

Carina nodded, barely able to comprehend what was going on. He had given her the one piece of data that would confirm him to her bosses, since everyone thought Bryce had been killed. As she made her way out of the suite and up to her own, her mind flashed back unbidden to a conversation she had with Chuck. The poor guy had been distraught over seeing Sarah kiss another man – both what he said as well as what he didn’t say about the kiss he’d seen told her it was no peck on the cheek – but until now Carina just figured it was a mark or someone like that.

If Bryce Larkin was still alive, Carina could guess with near-certainty that Chuck had seen Bryce with another girl Chuck liked. The same roommate who had gotten him expelled from Stanford on a lie, and had then followed that up by sleeping with the man’s girlfriend. _Oh Chuck…I’m sorry you had to see Bryce do that to you again. You of all people deserve better._

Finding her non-Intersect phone on the desk where she left it the previous day, she called Director Maxwell directly. “Ma’am? Agent Miller. I have a matter that I need to bring directly to your attention.”

***

“… _and we’re supposed to meet at 2 in the alley behind Ricardo’s so I can bring him and whatever he can take out with him back to the local Agency safe house.”_

Sydney Prince cursed as she listened to Carina’s report back to the Director and wrote down all the critical information. Losing an agent of such potential as Hanley was unfortunate, but the payoff of taking out a thorn in Fulcrum’s side in addition to gaining access to the latest Agency communications would be worth it. She made plans to spring her trap.

***

At 1:55 PM, Carina was waiting in a doorway off the narrow alley behind Ricardo’s, a popular tourist watering hole. The doorway gave her a measure of shelter from an errant shot, should Hanley change his mind and set her up, and the alley’s narrowness blocked a rooftop sniper. She was still taking a huge risk, despite the protection the alley’s physical features afforded her, but her heart and her gut told her Hanley was ready to come in from the cold and work against Fulcrum. She had to make sure Maxwell kept her promise to protect the man’s family.

_There he is_ , Carina thought to herself as a small car turned into the alley. She tensed as the car pulled to a stop, her right hand finding its way to the handle of the gun she kept in her waistband. This was one of the first real breaks she’d had in the campaign, and Carina was determined to make sure everything went her way.

Hanley got out of his car with a relieved smile. As he walked up to Carina, he whispered, “I don’t think I was followed. Is everything clear? Are we ok to-”

Carina jumped as a single gunshot rang out, and then had to catch Hanley as he fell. She couldn’t hold him for long, and as she lowered him to the ground, her eye caught sight of the slim brunette woman who had fired the shot. Carina dove for cover behind Hanley’s car as a hail of bullets started pinging all around her. As she got into a crouch, she brought her Glock out from behind her back and looked for the woman.

She couldn’t see where Hanley’s assassin had gone, but she did hear a car roar to life just outside the alley. As Carina ran to the street with her gun up and ready for a target, she caught a flash of brown hair as a convertible raced by, barely missing running her down as she dove back into the alley.

Carina ran out to the street again, wildly looking around for transportation. Sighting a crotch rocket parked on the street, she whispered a prayer of apology before running over and ‘borrowing’ it. The pure acceleration of the bike enabled her to catch up to the assassin, but the need to keep two hands on the bike’s handles prevented her from drawing her weapon again.

She was forced to follow the convertible as close as possible, ducking from one side to the other to avoid the other woman’s shots. Soon they came to the heart of the tourist zone, and the heavier traffic made it impossible for the woman to shoot at her, but it also meant that Carina had a much harder job ahead of her to stay up. Luckily, the bike was small enough that she was able to zip in between cars, but somehow the convertible always managed to stay ahead of her.

Eventually, the woman pulled into the parking lot of a high-rise apartment building. She didn’t even bother turning the car off before running inside. Carina threw the bike down as she sprinted after her quarry. She just saw the stairwell doors close on the assassin, so after drawing her Sig, she dashed over. Pausing only to take a breath, she kicked open the door with her gun ready to fire. Carina didn’t see anything but she did hear footsteps fading above her, so she started taking the stairs two at a time in pursuit.

The chase eventually led to the roof. Carina just made it out the stairwell door before the woman stepped to the edge of the building. She was able to squeeze off one shot as the woman leapt off. Carina ran across the roof only to see a parachute unfold beneath her. The assassin was gliding above a crowded beach, so Carina couldn’t risk a shot. She cursed her luck as she watched the woman glide gently to the beach, shed the chute, and run off.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina tracks Sydney Prince and finds a location for a major Fulcrum node.

**Chapter 11**

_It’s ok. You’re safe; I got the Fulcrum agent._

_What happened to him?_

_I arrested him. Casey’s taking him to a secure facility as we speak. It’s ok, he’s going to go to jail; he’ll never bother you again._

***

“…Thank you for your reservation, Miss Walker. Enjoy your stay!” Carina gave a reluctant smile and thanked the overly perky desk clerk, accepting her new room keys. Fulcrum somehow knew about her last cover, so either Hanley tipped them off or they had her room bugged. Hanley wouldn’t have tipped them off, because it directly placed his neck in the noose. Thus, Fulcrum knew her cover aliases and got her room bugged. The implications of that thought were slightly terrifying. She had to use another cover, but one under the radar that even the DEA didn’t know about. At least this one was entertaining. _Jenny Walker. Sarah would kill me if she knew._

Despite the humor in the thought, she sighed as she made her way over to the elevators of her third resort in Cancun. Her flip-flops clicked and clacked against the marble floor as she walked. Her floral skirt swayed around her knees while her bags bounced against her light blue polo shirt.

Checking in and out constantly was getting tiresome. Nevertheless, she had tracked her erstwhile assassin, with the Intersect’s help, to this resort. Carina set her bags on the floor, pushed the button, and as the elevator dinged and the doors started to close, she leaned against the back of the car, exhausted.

She was too tired to notice the young couple following her into the hotel, giving every appearance of being very much in love.

***

Once the elevator doors closed behind Agent Miller, the two Fulcrum agents confirmed walked over to the desk clerk and, pretending that they thought the woman was a friend they’d seen at a distance, confirmed that Carina had checked in under an alias. The two took the elevator to the same floor as Agent Miller and the man stood guard while the woman quickly picked the lock to a service room and went inside. When she slipped back out again, they went to their own base room down the hall and the woman changed into the stolen uniform of a resort maid. She knocked on Miller’s door, went in under the cover of having a few final housekeeping items to clean. When the redhead’s back was turned, she took the opportunity to place an audio bug and a tiny camera. “Gracias, seniorita,” she said as she left.

The two Fulcrum agents set up their surveillance equipment on the bugs in Miller’s phone and in her room and waited.

The picture of Carina Miller that Evan Saxton sent to headquarters from his villa before his unfortunate death was nevertheless proving highly useful.

***

Carina was lying full-length on the couch after a quick dinner when her non-Intersect phone rang. Without looking, she reached backwards over the sofa’s arm and picked up the device. The display showed a picture of Director Maxwell, so in a tired voice she said, “Miller, here.”

“Agent Miller. I have some good news for you: this mission has gotten large enough that we’re sending you a partner. His name is Alex Winterborne, and he will make contact with you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I’ll definitely appreciate the help,” Carina said with a yawn as she kicked her sandals off.

“Good. Get some rest. We need you in top form to catch Sydney Prince.” The director clicked off.

Carina tossed the phone down on the couch as she slowly rose, slipped her polo over her head, and unsnapped her bra. As she approached the king-size bed, she unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the floor before collapsing into the sheets. She fell asleep before she could realize that she never told the director the name of the assassin she was tracking.

***

Sydney lowered her voice-modulation device, and then simultaneously she and Alex took off their headphones before exchanging glances. She never suspected anything, and with any luck, the next morning they would be able to lure Carina Miller into Fulcrum’s trap. Prince re-checked their weapons while Alex made sure any tranquilizers or truth serums they would need for Carina were ready.

Since they were supposed to be a couple in love, they decided to keep up the charade – for the benefit of their neighbors around them, naturally. It was only after two calls from the front desk with complaints from their neighbors that they calmed down.

***

The next morning, Carina sat down in the hotel’s restaurant, eating a light breakfast of coffee, eggs and fruit when a young man with blonde hair and blue eyes as well as a finely chiseled jaw approached her. He was very nicely dressed in a pair of light khaki slacks, an off-white dress shirt, and a navy blazer.

“Cassandra Williamson?” he asked with a questioning glance.

A finely manicured eyebrow shot up at his breach of cover. “If you’re going to be so blatant about blowing my cover, then yes. Sit down.”

He blanched a little at her bluntness and gingerly took the indicated chair across from her. “Sorry about that. I wasn’t given much else, so I had to greet you somehow.” Alex was still slightly uncomfortable with hear hard stare as he ordered Belgian waffles with black coffee from the waiter.

She looked over the rim of her coffee mug and narrowed her eyes. “We’re here, so we might as well get started. Were you told anything about what I’m doing here?”

Winterborne looked slightly uncomfortable, but nodded. “You’re hunting a Fulcrum assassin who killed one of your sources yesterday. The director said you needed some help, so I was sent over from Mexico City to give you an assist. I’ve had my run-ins with Fulcrum before, so they thought I could help you nail the killer.”

Something about the man seemed off, but Carina couldn’t tell what it was specifically. His statement agreed with what the director said the night before, but something wasn’t quite right. “Do you know anything at all about our target?” she questioned.

He nodded before the waiter brought over his breakfast. Alex started speaking as he began slicing the waffles. “She has an apartment in a high-rise closer to the central area of the city. I’ve been keeping tabs on her for a while now, but I lost sight of her in Mexico City a couple days before I got the call to help you.”

Carina nodded slowly. “How soon can you get us there?”

“As soon as you’re ready, we can stake it out and come up with a plan. I already have transportation outside,” he replied between bites.

Carina stood, throwing a couple bills down on the table. “Give me a few minutes to…run up to my room and get something, then we’ll go get started.” Without another word she turned on her heel and quickly strode over to the elevators.

She was gone from the table fast enough that she didn’t see or hear Winterborne speak into the microphone in his watch, “She’s going back to her room for a minute. Listen in to her call and be ready to move.”

***

Something was definitely off. Alex knew a little too much about what she had done so far in Mexico. She hadn’t reported that much information up the chain for him to be that familiar, but Carina couldn’t put her finger on anything specific that had her instincts on edge.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she turned the lock and closed the deadbolt as well. She went over to the table and took her Intersect phone out of her bag and was about to dial when she changed her mind. _Can’t be too careful,_ she thought as she flipped the TV on to provide some noise just in case the room had been bugged. She quietly slid the balcony door open and stepped outside before closing it just as quietly.

Carina leaned against the balcony railing as she dialed her Intersect contact. He answered with what sounded like faint Christmas music playing in the background.

***

Chuck had just given Sarah his mother’s charm bracelet when his Intersect phone rang. Rhyerson was gesturing to the hostage line, so maybe there would be a way to resolve this crisis, get Ned to let everyone go, and have a Merry Christmas on top of it all. However, right now he had to take this call so he looked at Ned and held up one finger, then pointed to his phone with a questioning glance. Ned looked unsure, but nodded, so Chuck was able to walk over by the home theater room to take the call.

“Is that…is that Jingle Bells you’re listening to?” Carina queried with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s sort of a long story, but it’s been an even longer day than normal here, so what can I do for you tonight?” the tech asked.

“Sorry. Um, I need some confirmation on a name and a place. I’ve been chasing Sydney Prince around Cancun for a few days, and my new partner said she supposedly has an apartment in the heart of the city.”

She waited, but didn’t hear the usual clack of computer keys. It actually sounded almost like the technician was breathing a little harder. “Oh wow. Yeah, that is one really scary woman. Your partner was right, she has an condo in a new building downtown, off 48th street.”

The background music seemed to change to Frosty the Snowman, which had Carina even more confused until she looked at her phone’s display. It actually was Christmas Eve, a fact that slipped by her given the warmth and sun of southern Mexico.

“You sound pretty chipper there, Mr. Intersect Technician, even with your statement about it being a long day. Everything going well with your special lady friend?”

He laughed a little and sounded extremely happy when he replied, “Actually yeah, things are going awesome. I just gave her a family heirloom as a Christmas present and she was blown away.”

Carina smiled at his tone. “Oh, that’s so great! I’m so happy things are working out for you.”

“Thanks. That really means a lot. Be safe out there, ok? Then when you’re done you can drink a shot of tequila for me.”

***

Sarah stayed kneeling on the floor surrounded by romantic comedy DVDs. The irony of what just happened was wasted on her, as all her attention was focused on the thin circle of silver around her wrist.

The last time she’d been given such a heartfelt gift was when she was eight years old somewhere in Ohio, when Jimmy Richardson came up to her at recess and gave her his favorite GI Joe action figure. She vaguely remembered telling him it was sweet, kissing him on the cheek, and then running off.

Twenty years later, Chuck Bartowski gave her a family heirloom. His actions closing the bracelet around her wrist told her everything she needed to know: despite all their troubles, all the lies, and all the hurdles that still lay in front of them, he still wanted to be with her. Chuck Bartowski still thought she was worth it.

She turned her wrist, looking as the Buy More’s fluorescent lights caught and shone off each dangling charm. _He gave this to me, his real girlfriend!_ Her heart started pounding at the mere thought.

Sarah stood up, feeling a rush of exhilaration. While before she hadn’t been able to figure out a way to get Chuck – and Ellie and Devon – out of the Buy More and away from the inept criminal without blowing his cover, her newfound purpose made her feel like nothing could stop her. _He thinks of me as his real girlfriend! Things are finally back on track._

She walked over to where Casey was to have another talk about their options.

***

Carina and Alex completed their third circuit around the base of the apartment tower Sydney Prince called home in Cancun. They observed a main entrance, a rear entrance, a service door, and a garage. Carina grunted as Alex pulled his car off to a side street. “You said her condo is on the seventeenth floor?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been able to ascertain. It’s the southeast corner unit, right there, and it’s one of the biggest floor plans in the building,” he replied as he put the car in park and rested both of his arms on top of the wheel.

“That really limits our options,” Carina huffed as she scanned the building again.

Alex put his elbow on the arm rest and looked out at the building. Carina mistook his pensiveness for nerves, and tried to calm him down. “You look pretty young to be a field agent; have you been doing this long?” she asked in a soft voice.

“A few years,” he replied with a slight nod of his head, “I grew up a real Midwestern farm boy in Iowa. My kid brother was in Tower One when it came down.” Carina murmured her sympathies. She wasn’t sure exactly what she should do in this situation, so she reached out and put her hand on Alex’s forearm.

He forced a smile at the gesture, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on his strained expression. “Thanks. It tore our family up. Dad had just died from Alzheimer’s, and Mom just couldn’t cope with Bobby dying on 9/11 on top of that. She died a few weeks later, and the only explanation the doctors gave me was she had a broken heart. I just wanted to try to do whatever I could to make sure my brother’s death wasn’t wasted, you know?”

Carina understood completely, as her own vocational decision wasn’t that different. She watched in silence as Alex cuffed away a stray tear before turning to look at her. “I might be able to find some more out this evening. I scheduled a meeting with one of my Fulcrum informants to see if he could tell me anything about Prince’s whereabouts and local habits.”

She looked at him with an incredulous grimace. “And you didn’t think this was important to mention before now because…?”

“Hey, give me a break! I’m just learning now about what you’ve been doing for weeks!” Alex’s voice took on a much more defensive tone than he intended.

Carina grunted at the inadequacy of the explanation, but let it slide as she picked up a pair of binoculars and trained them on the seventeenth floor’s corner suite. “Fine. Let’s go back to the resort. I’ll lay out some basic plans while you talk to this mysterious informant, and we’ll meet for dinner before our operation tonight.”

Alex nodded and put the car into drive. “Sounds good,” he replied, pulling out into traffic.

***

Dinner was far different from breakfast. Alex’s outpouring in the car earlier in the day broke down some of Carina’s defenses. She was much less icy and reserved, and they talked like friends, comparing notes on old missions and telling stories of heroic escapes and near misses.

Afterwards, they adjourned to Carina’s suite to lay out blueprints of the condo building on her coffee table and planned their attack.

“The building has four entrances: two for residents, one for service calls, and one for the parking garage,” Carina said thoughtfully as she traced her finger to each feature, “We can’t cover each one, so I can go in through the garage while you go in the main entrance. She’ll be expecting me, but not you. You can go up the resident’s elevator while I take the stairs. Between the two of us we should be able to make sure she doesn’t escape.”

Alex goggled at her from his hunched position on the other side of the coffee table. “You’re going to walk up seventeen flights of stairs and be in shape to fight Sydney Prince?”

Carina threw him a saucy wink, “My stamina’s good for other things too, buddy boy.”

He laughed at that. “Well, maybe I’ll get to see just how long you’re good for one of these days.”

She laughed. Working with Alex Winterborne was proving to be highly entertaining.

***

Alex parked his car three blocks down from the building at exactly 10:45 PM. From there, they split up and approached the building on different streets. He went up to the main entrance while Carina walked down to the garage, then started her climb. Despite her earlier boasting about her stamina, seventeen floors of stairs left her winded at the top, and it took a little while to catch her breath before she was ready.

She poked her head out, but saw no one in the hallway in either direction. They met on either side of Prince’s condo door. Alex drew his pistol while Carina picked the lock. The door swung silently open while she pocketed the lock pick and drew her Sig.

The apartment was largely dark, except for a fluorescent light in the kitchen and a light coming from the master suite. They silently made their way toward the bedroom on the balls of their feet, alert for any booby traps or telltales. Alex pushed the bedroom door open slightly, which let them see the light was in fact coming from the bathroom, and the shower was on. As they approached, they heard a soft female voice humming over the sound of the water.

Carina gestured with her pistol for Alex to enter the bathroom, intending to provide cover. As he slowly pushed the door open, she saw a dark figure hiding behind the door. “Alex! Look out!” she shouted.

It was almost enough warning. Prince slammed the door shut and Carina heard the sounds of a struggle, but couldn’t risk shooting through the door. Alex’s gun went off, but since the fight kept going, it must have been accidental. Then all of a sudden the door flew open and the brawl moved out into the apartment.

Sydney had a towel wrapped around Alex’s neck, trying to choke him. He must have dropped his gun in the bathroom, since both of his hands were occupied trying to spin her and loosen her grip with momentum, but that didn’t work. Prince was strong enough to hang onto the towel but wasn’t strong enough to strangle him on brute force alone.

Alex grabbed her arms and swung her body into the wall. The shock was enough to jar her grip momentarily, which was all he needed. Alex quickly flipped her arms over his head and, turning his body, swung with his right fist. Sydney ducked the punch and landed a hard left to Alex’s stomach. As he was doubled over, she grabbed his collar in one hand and his belt in the other. With a growl of rage, she threw him forward into the dresser. Carina watched as Alex fell like a sack of potatoes, unmoving and clearly obvious.

Sydney turned to face her other attacker, but Carina had her Sig trained on the other woman from across the room. “Down on the floor, _now!_ ” she growled.

Slowly, hate blazing in her eyes, Prince complied. Carina walked slowly forward, pistol trained on the spy the whole way. She kicked the other woman’s legs apart and started a one-handed frisk. After assuring herself that she was unarmed, Carina fished out a zip-tie and quickly secured Prince’s hands behind her back.

Just then Alex started moaning on the floor. He slowly sat up and rubbed his head. Carina, keeping one eye on Prince, moved over next to Alex to check up on him. “Alex! Are you alright? Any blurred vision or nausea?”

He looked up at Carina with a slightly loopy expression, “No, but there’s this angel here talking to me. Did I die? Am I in heaven?”

She rolled her eyes as she got to her feet. “You sure are. St. Peter’s in the next room, actually.”

***

Carina stood off to one side of the bedroom as Alex handled Sydney. “Are you going to be ok to search the apartment while I take care of her?” he asked, gesturing at the prisoner.

She nodded. “Absolutely. Drop her off at the dump with the rest of the trash while I go through this place, and I’ll meet you back at the resort for a late drink to celebrate.”

Prince’s eyes had lost none of their hateful intensity, but as the other agent turned away and Alex grabbed her bicep, pushing her toward the door, her anger faded. She and Alex traded nonverbal communications. Once they were gone, Carina started her search. She went through the bedroom but didn’t find anything other than a couple pistols and some knives stashed under the mattress.

Carina moved out to the living area, but still didn’t find anything. No signs of what Prince was doing for Fulcrum, no data on Fulcrum, and not even a computer she could work on. She checked behind every piece of furniture, opened every drawer, and went as far as checking the ice bin in the freezer. _Nothing._

Sitting down on the couch with an annoyed huff, she folded her arms and stared at the bookcase. By and large the books appeared to be trashy romance novels and cheap thriller fiction, but one stood out in particular: Thus Spoke Zarathustra, by Friedrich Nietzsche. Carina picked the book up and was thumbing through the pages when a folded piece of paper slipped out. Picking it up, she saw that it was a rudimentary map with two words scrawled across the bottom: White Rock.

***

Chuck lay on his bed, still in his Nerd Herd uniform, with one hand tucked behind his head. There had been other times in his life when he felt as insignificant as he did now, such as when Jill broke up with him and getting kicked out of Stanford. What made this different was the circumstance. Stanford kicked him out and Jill broke up with him because of something he never did. Bryce framed him – good intentions notwithstanding – so both of those debilitating events happened because of a lie.

Sarah devastated him after something real. He gave her a family heirloom and told her how much it meant to him, and then she turned around and lied about executing a man in the act of surrendering to her.

His ceiling still didn’t have any answers, just like every other time he consulted it after Sarah screwed him up. She looked him in the eye smiling her special ‘Chuck smile’ while she lied to him about killing an unarmed man. He was crazy about a killer. Someone so beautiful who could lift her arm and put a bullet through someone’s head, then smile at him and lie to his face.

Was she afraid of how he would react to seeing her kill someone? She must have forgotten how he saw footage of her shooting the French assassins, although that footage had the choppiness of a security camera. Tonight was the first time he’d ever actually _seen_ her kill someone.

The fact that the shooting wasn’t what bothered him more about the evening was a testament to how crazy his life had become. Despite all their ups and downs as a couple – even a fake couple – and with the whole Jill situation still fresh in his memory, he opened his heart and gave her a part of his past. With the act of giving Sarah his mother’s charm bracelet, which his father gave to her when Ellie was born, he told her she was a part of that family now. That charm bracelet under normal circumstances could be the precursor to an engagement ring - a much smaller circle of metal designed to bring someone into a family.

_How in the world am I supposed to react to this now? She doesn’t know I saw everything. She doesn’t know that I know she lied to my face. Who do I even talk to about this?_ he thought as he swung his feet over the side of the bed.

Chuck’s brain picked that specific moment to dump more misery into his consciousness. _This used to be the kind of thing I could talk to Carina about._ The thought of her name brought the mental image of her obituary he’d read on the DC newspaper’s website. He sighed in despair and rubbed his face with his hands. He was right back to being completely on his own, with no one he could trust to talk to about every part of his life.

Somehow the idea of undressing and changing into pajamas seemed like an insurmountable task, but he didn’t have to worry about that anyway. As soon as his feet were on the floor, his special phone began ringing. “Hello, Agent,” he sighed.

***

Carina caught a cab back to her resort. Once she was back in her room, she immediately grabbed her Intersect phone out of her bag to find out anything she could about this ‘White Rock’.

The phone rang a couple times, and she started pacing the floor, waiting for an answer.

“Hello Agent,” she heard in the smallest voice she could have imagined from her support technician.

“Wow. Are you ok? You don’t sound anything like the guy who answered my phone call earlier,” Carina said playfully, trying to draw a laugh.

“No, not really. It’s been…it’s been a very bad day, Agent Williamson. My whole family was in a hostage situation.”

Cariana gasped. “Are you kidding? Are they all ok?”

“No, I’m not kidding, and yes, they’re ok, but that wasn’t even the worst part of the night.” Chuck said as he unlaced his shoes.

Carina stopped pacing. “What could possibly be worse than that?”

Chuck sat back on his bed after toeing off the shoes, then stood up. “Well, after all the hostage stuff was over, I saw my girlfriend do something really terrible, but she didn’t know I was there. A little while later she lied to my face about it. After I gave her that bracelet it just shook me.”

She sat down on her bed. “Wow, that’s really awful. What did she do?”

“I can’t actually say, since it would tell you too much about what happened, just suffice it to say it was really, really bad. Then she lied about it.”

“So what are you going to do?” Carina asked as she kicked off her sandals and started slipping out of her mission clothes.

“There isn’t really much I can do. I’ll confront her, but if she puts up a fight I’m not sure what’s going to happen.” Chuck blew a frustrated sigh out between his lips.

“I’m really sorry about that. That’s a terrible way to end Christmas,” she sympathized as she walked over to the dresser.

“Thanks, but you didn’t really call me to hear about my problems. What can I do for you?” Chuck asked as he undid his silver tie.

“Well, I found something in Sidney Prince’s suite that I wanted to run by you. It’s a piece of paper with some lines drawn, but the only legible words – ‘White Rock’ – seem to be some kind of name or identifier.”

As the Intersect technician searched his database for information on White Rock, Carina unpacked and set out a comfortable set of pajamas – a T-shirt and a pair of green Notre Dame athletic shorts. When he started telling her what the Intersect had on the site, the clothes fell out of her hand. “It’s _where?_ ”


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12**

_Sarah and I will never be anything more than we are right now._

_I don’t really have anyone in my life who cares about me like that._

***

As her ATV rumbled through the forest around the Mayan ruins at Chichén-Itzá, Carina couldn’t help but smile to herself at the ridiculousness of the situation. Her mind flashed back to the conversation where the Intersect guy told her that Fulcrum, through a front company which had won a contract for maintenance of the Mayan ruins, turned two of the main sites at Chichén-Itzá into Fulcrum’s White Rock location.

The Intersect tech wasn’t able to tell her much about White Rock other than the pyramid was the centerpiece of the site. Beyond that, he only had spotty data about servers, more drug equipment, and some possible communications equipment, but he did say the size of the building and the scope of the equipment meant that it was probably important to Fulcrum’s Mexican operations.

She glanced over at her partner, riding at her 8-o’clock position, and smiled to herself, despite the situation. Alex Winterborne snapped his head back forward as she caught him trying to ogle her and drive simultaneously. It was flattering, but not unexpected.

Still, they had to assume they were being hunted, as Alex’s first words when they met up for a bite after their last mission were still ringing in her ears: _‘Prince escaped. She busted out two hours after I turned her over to the Agency office.’_ Sydney Prince, the assassin Carina had chased all over southern Mexico, escaped custody and was now presumed to be hunting them. She had to focus.

She did have to smile to herself at Alex’s reaction to her attire, however. Carina consciously tried to emulate Lara Croft, Chuck’s favorite video game heroine when she dressed for this mission. Her light blue tank top was poured over her, but instead of the tiny khaki shorts the video game heroine usually sported, Carina opted for black cargo pants. Her calf-high black hiking boots completed the clothing, but it was the rest of the ensemble that was the most impressive.

Carina had twin .40 caliber Glock 22 pistols holstered on her thighs. She strapped a laser-scoped M4 carbine with six extra magazines around her torso. Six throwing knives ringed each calf, while hunting knives featuring four-inch blades were strapped inside each of her boots. She carried a pistol in the small of her back and four flash grenades hooked around her belt. Finally, she had a loaded backpack with electronic lock picking equipment, hard drives with viruses to upload, and a small quantity of extremely high-powered explosives and detonators.

She and Alex were also linked with the latest-generation digital tactical radios, and Carina carried a jump drive with the special viruses the Intersect tech had sent her. They each wore night-vision goggles for navigation until breaching the pyramid.

She still wasn’t sure what possessed her to do it, but before she left the staging area in Cancun, she set her phone’s digital camera on a timer and then posed with each of her Glocks crossed in front of her. Just in case she ever saw him again, she was going to be sure to show Chuck her own version of Lara Croft just to see the look on his face.

 *** 

In a shadowy office building in southern California, a lone figure took a phone call at his desk.

“Really?...One agent has done that much damage to the Mexican operations…That’s unfortunate…No, don’t do it there. Killing her at White Rock would attract more attention there than we can afford. White Rock is too important to risk. Try to minimize the damage she does, but make sure to take her to Cabo before you sink her.”

***

He tried to keep the anger out of his movements, but after the Meadow Branch fiasco, it was a futile effort. Chuck’s frustration with Sarah’s latest rejection still burned enough that he took his frustration out on his unsuspecting clothes, slamming them down onto the bed.

As he unpacked his black plaid pajamas, he couldn’t help but smile at the memory of the last time he wore them, when he stumbled downstairs in the house to see Sarah in a pink negligee cooking him an omelet for breakfast. It wasn’t for cover, it wasn’t to impress their neighbors, she was just cooking him breakfast. Sarah Walker never cooked, but she made him an omelet that morning just because she wanted to.

Of course, she killed the mood by passing him a secret note under the guise of a grocery list, kissing him goodbye as he left for work. As much as Chuck hated to admit it, the mental image of Sarah standing outside the house, wearing a pink robe, patting ‘their’ dog, and blowing him a kiss was an image that would keep him warm for a very long time.

In some perverse way, the slap she laid on him to maintain their cover was one of the things that buoyed his hopes for them, because it carried a little too much force to be just an act. She must have been at least a little jealous of his kissing Sylvia.

Her cold shoulder after the debriefing finished off any hopes that she would act on whatever feelings she had. _Walking through the freezer really was appropriate that night,_ he grunted to himself as he tossed his dirty laundry into the hamper. Everything else he tried to get Sarah to thaw towards him and consider a relationship beyond their cover failed; he honestly didn’t think a friendship would be something she’d turn down. Just one night in the cul-de-sac, hanging out as friends would have reinforced their cover with his sister, since Ellie thought they were housesitting for another day.

_Great,_ he thought with a resigned sigh, _now I want use a lie to Ellie to try and spend more time with Sarah._ If nothing else proved how messed up his life was, his willingness to perpetuate the lie that was his cover relationship to try and establish a real relationship certainly did.

_I was exactly right when I talked to Ellie: Sarah and I will never be anything more than we are right now. But am I really ok with that?_ His hamper didn’t hold any answers.

***

As their ATVs approached the huge Mayan pyramid at Chichén-Itzá that was the nexus of the White Rock area, Carina mentally reviewed everything the Intersect tech told her. The site appeared to be an entire compound of buildings, with training and barracks facilities, and an underground cocaine refinery. Furthermore, the Intersect connected some dots and identified a large power generator and a purchase order for fiber optic cable that had no function in a Mayan ruin. It was an ideal location for their operations, especially linked as it was to a hidden transportation hub at Tulum. They could transport money or drugs by boat or from a small airstrip hidden in the jungle.

Carina had parked the large truck they used for most of the trip in the underbrush just off a main road that ran to the east of the big pyramid. She and Alex took the ATVs off the truck, then looped around an open area to the east of the pyramid and were now approaching from due south. It took some work to stay hidden around the Thousand Columns structure, but they managed it. The southern approach allowed them to get almost up to the pyramid without traversing any open territory.

She put her ATV into park and slipped off, noticing Alex do the same just behind her. Carina slipped her assault rifle to the low ready position and began moving through the final hundred yards of forest toward the pyramid’s southern entrance. She stayed focused on the door itself while Alex periodically swept their rear perimeter for threats. Once she got into the doorway, Carina dug out her lock pick and went to work on the cipher lock. After a few tense minutes, the door clicked open and they were in. She spied what looked like a fuse box on the wall to her right, with cables leading up to the ceiling. One of those was connected to a camera, so Carina pried open the box and fished out a strange device that looked like a clamp with several wires coming off the back.

Alex watched her actions with interest. “What are you doing?”

Without turning, she whispered, “This is a camera feed cutter. Once I hook this up, I’ll be able to connect it to a special PDA I have. I can loop the footage of every camera in this building over the last hour.”

Alex forced a smile, but Carina’s focus prevented her from seeing how strained his expression was. “No one will see us coming,” he grunted.

Carina fished out her PDA and connected it to the clamp. Alex saw dozens of camera feeds appear on the screen and then they all blinked as Carina programmed a command and looped the footage from each camera. When the door clanged shut behind them, Alex, who was examining a diagram of the building’s interior, whispered over their radios, “This building is too big, and Fulcrum’s facilities are more extensive than we thought. We need to split up.”

Carina looked incredulously at him, but Alex nodded insistently. “It’s the only way we can cover it all with just the two of us.” She still looked doubtful, but nodded reluctantly. “Ok,” he started again, “I’ll head upstairs and tackle their servers, you stay on this level and go after the coke equipment.”

She shook her head violently. “Absolutely not! This is my op and I’m going to handle the servers,” Alex looked truculent but held his tongue as he nodded, “Good. We’ll meet up at the control room in exactly one hour.” They checked the time on their watches and split up.

Carina didn’t see Alex slip around a corner and pull out another radio. “We’re here. She’s headed upstairs. I’m following,” he said quietly before pocketing the device and sprinting in the opposite direction from Carina.

***

The futuristic style of the Fulcrum-constructed hallways belied their location in an ancient pyramid. The halls themselves were a sheer white, broken only by a black doorway or a security camera on the ceiling. Carina found a stairwell and headed up one floor. She scanned her PDA and saw through the security cameras that the second level had the server farm. _Perfect time for Alex to disappear,_ she grumbled to herself, _I could really use some cover while I wreck these servers._

However, there wasn’t anything she could do about it. The servers had to be dealt with, so she drew a Glock, scanned the hall, and moved quietly to the server room. Her lock pick again dealt with the cipher lock on the room, and she closed the door behind her.

She scanned over row upon row of servers, looking for a terminal, and finding one away from the entrance to the room. Carina ran down the bank and skidded to a halt in front of the control terminal. She reached into her backpack and took out one of the special flash drives she’d been using during her entire mission against Fulcrum. Quickly attaching it to one of the USB ports, she began searching for whatever data she could find that would tell her more about White Rock.

Under one folder labeled ‘layout’ she found a folder for the pyramid itself, and under that, she found the file she had been looking for: schematics and a detailed diagram of the entire building. The drug processing equipment was where they thought it was. _Hopefully Alex is taking care of that now,_ she thought as she scanned up through the facility.

_Holy shit!_ she thought as she looked over the list of what the pyramid contained, _this isn’t just an important piece of their network. This is an entire headquarters!_ Another file confirmed this idea: White Rock was otherwise known as Fulcrum Headquarters B.

Every floor of the pyramid was laid out exactly according to the data she’d managed to take from the cameras and her initial scanning, but there was one significant difference that she found in the server’s files: immediately below the command center, on the seventh level atop the pyramid, was a large room that the schematics had an enormous number of power and communication cables running into the room – far more than were necessary for a room of that size. That, plus the fact that it wasn’t included on her other diagram, made this room her next objective.

The light on the flash drive blinked off as the screen in front of Carina began flashing the message “file upload complete.” Just as she pocketed the drive, a gunshot shattered the keyboard she had been using. She dove to the ground and scrambled around the server bank as a hail of gunshots followed her progress.

Carina drew each of her Glocks and got to her feet. From the echo, there were two sets of Fulcrum agents moving down the aisle on each side of her position. Thinking quickly, she re-holstered her pistols and tore off two flash grenades. She pulled the pins on each and threw one down each aisle. Carina drew her pistols again, closed her eyes and waited for the explosion. When she heard the bursts, she started popping into each aisle, firing two shots, then jumping back to the other side until each of the agents pursuing her had stopped moving. As she walked out, she counted three men on each side.

She poked her head out into the hallway and saw no other pursuit. Forgoing her other objectives for the mystery room and the command center, she ran back to the staircase she ascended previously and ran for the top floors, checking each landing to be sure there were no guards waiting. _No guards since the server farm. I really hope they’re not all chasing Alex._

Popping out on level six, Carina scanned around the same white, futuristic hallways as before and found a thick cord fixed to the ceiling, glowing orange. She followed that cord as it led toward the center of the pyramid, finally stopping as it transited a wall at the bottom of a T-junction in the hallway. _Still no guards; something really strange is going on here,_ she thought as she scanned down each hallway leading off from her position. Checking her watch, she saw there were only twenty-three minutes left before she was supposed to rendezvous with Alex in the command center.

The doorway in front of her bore no label other than a sign which read:

**AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY**

The door was equipped with a complicated electronic combination lock. Her equipment couldn’t handle it on a limited time frame, so she started looking around. Nothing to either side would help, but above here there was a vent she could reach with a jump. Two punches later and the vent grate was on the floor beside her. Taking one more look around, she jumped up and managed to find a handhold inside. After an arduous struggle, she was able to pull herself – and all her extra weight from the weaponry – up and into the vent.

Carina rested and caught her breath for a minute before squeezing herself through the ventilation ducts toward the mysterious room. When she had gone far enough that she assumed she was over whatever was in that room, she looked for and found a grate that would drop her down into the area. She kicked it loose and as it swung down on its hinges, she maneuvered her legs down the shaft and supported herself with her hands. She released her grip and dropped softly into the room, landing with catlike grace and bouncing quickly back to her feet.

The room she was in was completely white, from floor to ceiling. One lone computer stood in the center of the room. As she walked toward the terminal, she saw the walls and ceiling were actually paneled with flat panel televisions. Every square inch of space was occupied with a display.

_What the hell is this place?_ Carina thought she had seen enough in her career that even if she came across a new situation, little could surprise her. This room proved her wrong, as she had no idea what its purpose was.

She reached the computer and saw a very strange display. There was just one screen, but it was located where the keyboard would be on a normal computer, and where the monitor would be normally, instead of a flat-panel screen, it looked like an old tube-style monitor had been built into the terminal itself. On that screen was a black background with a green box that had one simple phrase:

**INTERSECT TERMINAL. ACTIVATE?**

The touch-screen keyboard featured only the glowing outline of a hand. _Intersect terminal?_ Carina wondered with huge eyes, _the_ _Intersect? The same computer my support tech uses? What the hell?_ The computer looked like it wanted a human handprint for identification, so after hesitating a brief moment, Carina put her right palm on the indicated space. Nothing happened while the screen scanned her hand, but then the green box on the monitor turned red, and the message read:

  **UNAUTHORIZED USER. ACCESS DENIED.**

**SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED.**

_Oh shit._ Below the box was a clock with a five-second countdown. Carina turned and ran for the door. She found the release mechanism, and had almost gotten it open when the explosion rocked the entire room, its force propelling her into the door and knocking her unconscious.

***

His front door slammed behind her as Sarah stormed through the courtyard. Casey could almost see steam trailing from her ears after her encounter with Chuck and Tyler. He was only barely able to keep up with her as she stalked over to his Crown Vic.

“You overdid it,” he grunted as they buckled in and he put the car in reverse.

Blonde flashed in the corner of his eye as her head whipped around. “What did you say?” she snapped. 

Casey shrugged his shoulders as he pulled through the parking lot and out into traffic. “Your little ultra-professional act back there was over the top, Walker. You haven’t bitten the moron’s head off like that for a long time. You overdid it.”

She huffed indignantly. “I was just handling him. He’s been really unprofessional ever since this Tyler Martin thing started. All I was doing was explaining the rules again.”

He smiled sardonically. “You of all people know the bad-cop routine isn’t the way to reach Bartowski. How many times have you gone after me for doing just that?”

Sarah crossed her arms and stared straight ahead through the windshield. “I was just handling my asset,” she said with the tone of a petulant child.

The tone in which she uttered that particular statement elicited an actual snort. “Maybe that’s your problem. Maybe you’re not handling him the way you really want.”

Her head turned back more slowly this time. “What exactly are you talking about?” she asked in a frosty tone that warned of danger.

Casey shot her a disbelieving look out of the corner of his eye. “I’ve seen how cozy you’re getting here with the geek and his family. You’re fighting it, but playing house out in the Valley was a little too nice for both of you. I saw the video of him asking you for a sleepover. It was just as hard for you to turn him down as it was for him to hear it, wasn’t it?”

The stare turned into a full-blown scowl. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Focused on the road, he couldn’t do anything more than shake his head. “Sure you don’t.”

If looks could kill, Casey would have burned to a crisp under her glare, but he kept driving. Sarah shook her head indignantly. He could insinuate whatever he wanted, but Casey had no real evidence she was compromised. A few longing glances and lingering touches couldn’t get her in trouble with Beckman. 

The bigger problem was her relationship with her asset. She _was_ compromised and she had no idea how to handle it. When faced with opportunity after opportunity to act on her feelings, she did the only thing she knew how to do when faced with an unknown: she ran. Sarah Walker was a coward who ran from her feelings and changed identities like other people changed clothes. Jenny Burton was a coward who ran from the social bullies in high school. Samantha Armstrong ran with her father from con to con whenever the heat got too close.

Every time she ran, she left a little more of herself behind and hated herself a little more. If she was completely honest with herself she had to admit that Casey was right. She was compromised, but she was too scared to act. Chuck’s request for one night hanging out in the cul-de-sac wasn’t unreasonable, but it scared her, and her first instinct was to run. It hurt to be as harsh to Chuck as she had just been, but when the alternative was either giving in to her feelings and watching as they were forcibly separated, pushing him away first was the only real choice.

_It just sucks to be me_ , Sarah thought.

***

Carina woke up to someone slapping her face and screaming “Wake up!” at her. She groggily tried to get her blurry vision to clear. Slowly, she became aware of two men with assault rifles pointed at her and a brunette – Sydney Prince – standing directly in front of her, eyes blazing with fury. Carina herself was loosely tied to a chair in the center of what she was realizing was her final objective: White Rock’s control center.

There were computer monitors and phones all around her, with displays showing everything from the weather over Oklahoma to footage of Fulcrum trainees in the surrounding complex. Normally there would probably be a small army of analysts and communications technicians present, but the place was empty save for Sydney, herself, and the two guards. _Probably because of that thing I blew up – the Intersect? That didn’t look anything like I imagined. The tech has to have a better setup to scan for the information I give him, doesn’t he? What was the deal with all those screens?_

Since she couldn’t find any immediate answers to her mental questions, Carina settled for an assessment of her current situation. She was tied to a large office chair in the middle of the space, but whoever tied her was either in a hurry or assumed the armed guards would be more than enough deterrence. She felt, rather than saw her arms were each fixed with twine to an arm of the chair, but her legs were not bound at all. The ties on her arms were loose enough that a good tug would free each, but she kept her knowledge of that to herself, not even glancing down at her arms, so as to not give away anything to her captors. Though she couldn’t have been out long, it was long enough for them to completely disarm her; she noticed her weapons on a table near her chair.

Prince began pacing in front of her. “Well, well, Agent Cassandra Williamson. You’ve become a real problem for Fulcrum over the last few weeks. First we lose our contact to the cartels right at the exact moment you arrive in Mexico, then packaging and shipment sites mysteriously blow up or their controlling equipment breaks down. Too much of a coincidence, don’t you think?”

Carina kept her face bored and forced a yawn. “Oh, sorry, Sydney. Didn’t mean to start dozing off there, but I just couldn’t stay awake during your little speech. Is that some new Fulcrum torture? Boring federal agents to death? Pretty effective, if you ask me. As a matter of fact, feel free to write that into the post-torture survey.”

Prince laughed at her defiance. “Quip all you like, Williamson. Get all the kicks you can, because they’ll be your last. Your little stunt down in the Intersect room will cost you your life.”

Carina rolled her eyes. “What’s next? Are you going to tell me your evil plot to take over the world because you can’t resist the urge to gloat? If you’re going to kill me, just shoot me now. It’ll be less painful than hearing you drone on and on about it.”

As Prince raised her hand to strike her again, two shots rang out and each of the guards fell with a hole in their forehead. Alex rushed in after taking care of the two guards and Carina used the surprise to yank her arms out of their bindings and lunge for her Glocks. Just as she trained them on Prince, the woman launched a spinning kick that knocked both guns out of her hands. Carina spun with the momentum, turning her own kick and landing it on Prince’s right side. She grunted with the pain, but kept her balance. They settled into fighters’ stances, anger building inside both, each relishing the coming confrontation.

Prince began by faking with her left and launching a devastating right hook that Carina only just reacted to in time to block. The woman tried to follow up with left jabs and a right uppercut, but Carina’s blocks were too quick. Finally, Carina was able to launch a right feint which Prince easily blocked, but she missed the following left jab to her gut. As Prince doubled over in pain, Carina swung her right leg up and landed a devastating kick to Prince’s face. Her shriek was muffled by the arm she brought up to stem the flow of a broken nose as she reeled backward.

Carina took a running start and jumped with her right leg outstretched, but Prince was ready, and blocked the kick, sending Carina’s momentum around and past her. She tried to move in for a grappling hold, but Carina’s agility allowed her to duck the move and execute a leg sweep that had Prince on her back. Prince reached out and tripped Carina again as she went for her guns.

As Carina finally reached her pistols, she realized her attacker had gone out a small window. She ran to the opening and started climbing up the outside of the pyramid herself, but as she got to the top, she had to jump out of the way. Sydney Prince was bearing down on her on an off-road motorcycle. Carina was just barely able to lunge out of the woman’s path. As she got to her feet and ran to the edge of the pyramid she saw that Prince was actually riding down the smooth stone running down each side of the pyramid. She fired off one useless shot just to feel good about at least trying, but Prince had escaped again.

 ***

Carina packed her recently-purchased clothes into a duffle bag along with her toiletries. Her combat gear was already packed and awaiting shipment to her new safe apartment in Cabo. _At least this time it won’t be another stupid resort,_ she thought tiredly. Alex had already dropped his stuff off and was downstairs, checking out and making arrangements for a short-term apartment rental, by Carina’s request, near the beach.

As she rolled her socks and tucked them in with the rest, Carina thought about her partner. While she wasn’t sure about him initially, Alex was proving dependable; and with their easy banter off-mission, he was becoming someone she thought she could trust outside the job as well. Carina tucked her Intersect phone in the bag with her laptop, iPod, and the rest of her electronics, hoping Alex was able to get them a good place.

She didn’t know he was downstairs on a second cell phone, leaving a message for Sydney Prince, saying, “We’re on the move to Cabo. Make the arrangements to meet us there and we’ll get rid of this irritation.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina takes care of both Alex and Sydney...or so she thinks...before heading to Tijuana.

**Chapter 13**

_It means we can’t break up, and we’re moving in together. Well, Ellie’s watching. We’d better sell it._

***

_Ah, Cabo. I’ve missed you,_ Carina thought with a sigh. She lay on a beach chair under an umbrella, letting the rolling of the waves calm and clear her mind. Her mission bikini – strikingly black against her stubbornly pale skin – attracted more than her share of attention, but outwardly she took no notice, appearing to be asleep. In reality, her eyes were wide open under her sunglasses, scanning her peripheral vision for threats. She saw all the stares, but ignored them. This wasn’t a vacation; she had work to do.

Sydney Prince’s escapes were starting to make her wonder if ghosts were actually real. The woman managed to wriggle free every time Carina thought she had her. This time, she’d have her partner to back her; there would be no ‘let’s separate and meet at the top’ bullshit in Cabo.

_At least, not after this first part._ Carina was a little worried. Alex had a habit of running off to look things over by himself, which, given the way their missions had gone south since he joined her, was concerning. At the moment he was off “checking things out” in regard to their new safe house – a condo just off the beach. She thought about calling Maxwell to confirm that Alex really had been assigned to help her, but her experience with the director told her she hated having her orders questioned. Alex had shot the two guards to help her escape from Prince, so that was a point in his favor, at least.

The beach wasn’t working its usual magic on her stressed-out nerves. She just kept going around in circles about the way the entire mission in Mexico had spiraled out of her control. Truthfully, she had a string of successes under her belt. Fulcrum sites in Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, Cancun and White Rock had all fallen, taken serious damage, or had their information compromised from her efforts, but despite all of this, Carina couldn’t shake the feeling Sydney Prince was running rings around her. The sensation of grasping at straws just out of her reach was wearing her out, which is why she allowed Alex to go check out their new apartment. She needed to try to calm down, but the beach wasn’t doing anything to help.

Carina did a quick scan and, not seeing anyone within fifty yards of her, pulled her Intersect phone out of her bag. She called her tech and waited for him to pick up.

***

Chuck scanned his room, looking for what he absolutely needed to take with him when he moved in – started housesitting, he corrected himself – with Sarah. _When I move in with Sarah_ , he thought with a groan. He was being given what most guys would consider a dream, but for him it would be a nightmare. Being forced to live with an incredibly beautiful woman with whom he was infatuated and having to pretend to be dating, or married in this case, while in reality being nothing more than friends or colleagues, was exquisite torture.

Just as he started packing photos of himself and Sarah away, his support phone rang. _This woman really picks some great times to call,_ he grumbled to himself.

“Hello, Agent Williamson. How’s Mexico today?” He asked distractedly.

Carina cocked her head at the way he asked. “I’m not taking you away from something more important, am I?” she asked petulantly, “You know, trying to take down Fulcrum from the bottom over here.”

The stress of breaking up with Sarah, Casey’s constant sniping, Cole Barker showing up and kissing Sarah, and now being forced to move in with his _non-_ girlfriend had Chuck on the edge. Agent Williamson’s snarky remark finally pushed him over, “You know what? That was uncalled-for. If you must know, I broke up with my girlfriend from work, then saw her making out with another guy. Now for…security reasons I won’t get into, I’m being forced to move in with her. I’m really sorry if that has me more than a little stressed out!” he snapped.

Carina sat in silence. _Why do I feel like I know this guy? Something is so familiar but I can’t figure it out!_ “I – I’m sorry. You’re right, you didn’t deserve that. I’m not doing that great right now myself. Sydney Prince escaped again when I had her at White Rock. I’m in Cabo now with my new partner, and we’re trying to figure out where to go from here. Do you remember anything about the Fulcrum site here that you mentioned when I was in Acapulco?”

The combination of the words ‘Fulcrum’ and ‘Cabo’ triggered Chuck’s flash. He saw the location, layout, security, and photos of different agents associated with the site. “It’s a run-down building they remodeled the inside of, but kept the outside looking abandoned, off F-Dock on the Paseo de la Marina. It’s their financial headquarters. There’s vaults, computers, satellite dishes, and tons of other stuff related to their money operations.”

Carina made a note of the location. “Thanks. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much right now. That’s tough. Do you want to talk about it?” _What am I, a radio shrink?_

Chuck threw some more trinkets into the box with the picture frames and looked around his room. “Not really. I mean so much of this is outside my control. The agency is ordering us to move in together for security, but we already broke up and she was making out with someone else. This just sucks, you know?”

She brought her feet up under her hips and settled in. “It sounds like it. What are you going to do? Are they making you actually share a bedroom or even a bed?”

“I don’t know what the setup is going to be, but I really hope not. That would be a new level of awkward even for us,” Chuck grunted.

Carina chuckled. “Well, if there’s anything I can…say to help, I guess, since we’ll never see each other in person, just let me know and I’ll try my best.” _Maybe if I can help this guy sort out his love life it would be some kind of karma for Chuck…_

He smiled sadly. “Thanks for that, but I don’t think this is a situation anyone can get me out of. Be safe on your operation, Agent Williamson. You’ve been awesome to talk to, even if we probably won’t ever meet up for real.”

***

Just as Carina ended the call with her Intersect partner, her operational partner came up to speak to her. “Good news! I got our apartment all squared away. Bags are up there and all we have to do now is plan our next step.”

Carina cocked her head and looked over her shoulder at him. “Thanks for taking care of that. I really needed to relax out here for a bit.” She returned her gaze to the waves.

Alex rested his hands on the back of her chair and looked out at the ocean. “It certainly is peaceful out here. Did it work?”

She shook her head without looking up. “No, it hasn’t. I can’t help feeling like there’s something wrong with this whole operation.”

He stood up and moved to sit on the sand in front of her, blocking her view of the rolling waves. “Something wrong? What do you mean?”

She frowned at his action, but let it slide. “I’m not sure. It seems like Fulcrum and that Prince bitch have been one step ahead of me – us – the whole time. Every new place I move on, she’s there waiting, but she always manages to slip away just before I can take her down.”

Alex leaned forward and took her hands in his, not noticing how her entire body tensed at the touch. “Trust me; you’re not doing anything wrong. She’s tough. I’ve come up against her numerous times and she always manages to come out on top. Even when I thought I had total control of the situation, she managed to wriggle free.”

Carina pulled her hands away. With a voice as cold as the grave, she looked Alex in the eye and growled, “Well, that’s going to stop. If I ever see her again I _will_ end her.”

***

Two shadowy figures moved down the wharf toward a decrepit building off F-Dock. Carina and Alex had spent the remainder of the afternoon going over plans for the building on their laptop, forming a plan of attack, and then getting a nap in before their nighttime assault.

Alex would provide cover while Carina hit the computers. The second of the special worms her Intersect partner sent her was tailor-made for offloading data for later study and analysis, so she had her flash drive at the ready. Once the computers were compromised, they would plant explosives – making sure the estimated blast radius would be enough to cover the vaults as well – and make their escape. They approached the site from the water on the assumption that Fulcrum would have heavy security on all land approaches, so their boat was already moored nearby.

Carina went to work on the entrance to the building while Alex stood guard. The lock wasn’t complicated, and with her skills they were soon inside. Carina looked around before whispering over her radio microphone, “Change of plans. We’re doing the explosives first, then the computers. Just in case we run into problems, I need the ability to blow this place sky high!”

Alex shook his head violently. “No! That’s not the plan! We have to stick to what we set up. Computers first, then the bombs.”

Carina was a bit surprised at his vehemence, but pressed on. “I’m changing the plan. Even if we don’t get the data I want to be sure this building ends up on Mars. Move your ass, Winterborne!”

He growled, but obeyed her command. She led the way down a partitioned hallway away from the entrance. Every so often, they would sense guards patrolling down one of the offshoot hallways, but Carina seemed to have a sixth sense for trouble that kept them out of their lines of sight.

The decrepit former office building was built in two squares that intersected in the middle. The square facing the street was the smaller of the two, but it was also taller. That junction was the weak point where they decided to place explosives in three locations in the hallway running parallel to the joint. Other than that, they’d put bombs in all other corners of the buildings and any structurally vital support areas. If her calculations were accurate, the building would be a smoking hole as their boat sped away.

_Yes! My luck is in!_ Carina scanned the first hall corner and saw a vent in the ceiling. Alex took up position where he could scan down each hallway while Carina removed the vent grate and took one of the explosive discs out of her backpack. It was an extremely small device for the power it contained. Most of the military didn’t even have this kind of firepower; it was a special compound developed by DEA scientists to deal with heavy drug processing machinery. They all had receivers designed to detonate the bombs from a special device Carina carried that only she knew about.

She activated the bomb and slid it into the vent, then pulled the grate shut. Alex signaled they were clear, and they moved on to the next location.  


***

Carina looked around as she placed the last bomb. “Ok, that’s the last one. Follow me to the center of the large building and we’ll start working on the computers.”

As she slipped the special thumb drive out of her now-light backpack, Alex took up his usual rear guard position and followed her. Carina listened for guard patrols, and was able to keep them out of sight.

The server room had an electronically-locked door, but Carina’s special lock pick was able to get them inside in a few seconds. The room only had one exit point, so she had Alex stand guard while she went to work at the nearest terminal. She blessed the Intersect technician for the malware he sent along on the jump drive; it had been invaluable in accessing Fulcrum computers. Carina hooked the drive up and watched it start offloading data.

While the worm was working its way through Fulcrum’s financial records, Carina took the opportunity to scan for any files she could see that might shed more light on Fulcrum. She found one Word document that proved to be a saved transcript of an instant message conversation between two Fulcrum accountants:

**User A:** Did you get the outgoing wires lined up? R is really on the warpath.

**User B:** I know, I know, I’m working on it. The guy just needs to calm down. Stuff like this takes time.

**User A:** He doesn’t get that, but we work for him, after all. I know it’s tough but try to work through it. Soon this huge project will be done and we can breathe a little bit.

**User B:** Really? What time frame are we talking about here?

**User A:** The 20 th of this month is when it all goes down, at Black Rock. He’s got everything in motion, but the word I’m hearing is it’s all set up for that date.

**User B:** Oh good. Just a couple more weeks; I think I can survive that. R can finally get off our asses and I can get some time in at the beach.

**User A:** Well, I’m not supposed to tell anyone this, but R is actually the head of Fulcrum.

**User B:** You’re shitting me. Fulcrum’s boss is R?

**User A:** Exactly right. He could have us killed if he wanted to, so let’s get it in gear so he doesn’t have a reason to, yeah?

Carina stared at the screen, trying to make sense of the cryptic words, but making no headway. Nothing she’d heard in her pre-mission briefings or in conversations with the Intersect tech mentioned anything about this ‘R’ person, but if the conversation was right, Fulcrum’s head was known as ‘R’. It wasn’t much of an identifier, but it was a start.

Black Rock was a promising lead. If White Rock was Fulcrum’s alternate headquarters, Black Rock might be its primary location. She had to talk about this with Intersect-guy the next time they were on the phone. That file was huge. With just that one document, she had a possible lead on Fulcrum’s commander as well as a possible name for its headquarters.

The worm finished uploading and she yanked the drive from the computer. It was time to move on to the more viscerally exciting part of the operation. She signaled Alex and the pair began their escape.

***

As they moved down the hallway, they started encountering more guards. They had to backtrack enough times it became clear every exit on the main level was closed to them. Carina looked around frantically for another way out, but the only way she saw was the same ventilation system they’d used for bomb placement. The explosive discs were small enough that they could move them around the vent as they slid through. She led them to the nearest vent to a stairwell and jumped up, again taking the grate out. Alex hoisted her up into the surprisingly large air duct, then tossed up his own bag and weapons after her. He jumped up and lifted himself into the vent, finally closing the open grate. It wasn’t a moment too soon: Carina peered down through the opening, seeing a two-man guard patrol walk beneath them. She shared a relieved glance with Alex as they scooted in the direction of the stairs.

After they had each exited to the stairwell, they began ascending. Carina wanted to take the next floor up and shimmy down a gutter she’d seen as they entered, but Alex insisted on going to the roof before taking the fire escape ladder.

“Are you crazy?” Carina hissed, “That’s taking way too big a chance! Do you know how many guards might be on the roof or who might use these stairs?”

He glared at her. “No more or less than might be on the second floor here. Come on Carina, trust me on this one,” he softened his expression in an effort to persuade her to take his suggestion. “All we have to do is run as quick as we can up these stairs; cover each other on the roof, then get down the fire escape. It’ll be easy!”

Carina returned the glare, but decided the longer the argument went on, the greater danger they’d be in, so she relented, throwing her hands up and gesturing for him to lead. “Fine, but you go first. I want the first bullets to hit your stubborn ass instead of mine,” Alex could tell from her tone she wasn’t as furious as she pretended, but didn’t challenge her.

There was no exit to the roof from the stairwell, and Carina’s glare at Alex’s apologetic expression would have flash frozen molten steel, but she followed him when he lead her onto the building’s top floor. As they moved down the hallway, Alex saw a door with a sign that read:

**AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY**

He turned to look at Carina, and when he saw her start to shake her head, he replied, “Oh, come on, we have to check this out just in case it’s something important!”

Carina tried to disagree, but her own curiosity got the better of her, and she defeated the lock quickly. Alex followed her into a room that was entirely empty save for a single chair. She stared as the chair started to spin, revealing none other than Sydney Prince. The Fulcrum agent grinned malevolently as Carina stared in shock. “Welcome to our humble banking office, Agent Williamson. I was starting to wonder if you’d ever show up. At least now I can finally take care of you.”

The last threat seemed to snap Carina out of her trance, and she whipped out one of her Glocks, aiming it at the brunette’s heart. “I will kill you if it’s the last thing I do,” she threatened. Sydney’s lack of fear at facing Carina down without drawing the pistol she had holstered at her side confused Carina, until she heard a gun cock behind her.

Every doubt she had about Alex Winterborne, every mission that went slightly sideways since his arrival, and every unexplained absence was explained when she heard him say, “Put your gun down, Cassie. It’s over.”

She turned to face him, fury blazing in her blue eyes. “I knew something was off with you. I just didn’t think you’d be a traitor, you son of a bitch.”

She didn’t put up a fight when Prince walked over and took her Glock. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” the Fulcrum agent gloated with a smirk as she turned the gun around and belted Carina across the mouth with its handle. The redhead was unconscious before she hit the floor.

***

Ellie angrily walked toward the Orange Orange to have a talk with Sarah. She was getting tired of the blonde’s way of stringing her brother along. She tried so hard not to meddle in their relationship, but her normally brilliant brother was incredibly dense when it came to women. Combine that with his epic lack of self-confidence and it was a recipe for eternal heartache. Of all the people she knew, Chuck deserved to be jerked around the least, even after the second Jill fiasco. As she stalked over from the Buy More, she spied an incredibly handsome man in the yogurt shop.

***

“I do apologize for having to leave so soon, Agent Walker…Sarah. Are you sure you won’t reconsider going to Fiji?”

“Very sure, Cole,” she said with a soft smile. “I’m good here.”

“I had to try,” he responded with a rueful smile, “but since I can’t change your mind and my flight is leaving soon, will you tell Chuck I said to keep his head down and carry a gun?”

Across the parking lot, Ellie gasped in outrage as the man appeared to lean in and give Sarah a kiss. _It all makes sense now! That…that whore!_ The Porsche, the high-end wardrobe and makeup, the unexplained absences, and the strained relationship she had with Chuck all fell into place. Sarah was a high-end hooker, an escort, a call-girl. _Poor Chuck_. Just as the stranger’s car pulled out of the parking lot, Sarah looked out the window and saw Ellie standing there with her mouth agape.

“Ellie! NO! Wait!” Sarah shouted as she started running out of the store. She could feel her tenuous cover falling down around her as Chuck’s sister started running for her car.

Ellie fumbled with her keys, desperate to get away from Sarah the Hooker. Finally getting them out of her purse, she got into her car, locked the door, and started the engine as she saw blonde hair flying in front of her. Sarah flew across the hood of the car and stood in front of her, daring Ellie to accelerate.

“Ellie! That is not what it looked like, I promise! Please, get out of the car so we can talk about this.”

She really wanted to press the gas pedal, but something in the blonde’s voice and eyes gave her pause. Ellie looked again, and saw a woman on the edge. She decided to give Sarah a chance to explain herself. She turned the car off and got out.

“Sandwiches?” Ellie asked, gesturing at Lou’s Deli.

Sarah was confused. “I’m sorry?”

“We’re not having this conversation in a public parking lot. Let’s go into Lou’s and get a sandwich. At least it will be somewhat private.”

As much as Sarah did NOT want to set foot in Lou’s, right now she had no choice. She followed Ellie into the deli.

After ordering – and getting the stink eye from Lou the whole time – they took their meal to a table.

“So when were you planning on telling my brother?” Ellie began with no preamble.

“Telling him what? I don’t know what you think you saw but I don’t have anything to tell him.” Sarah took a bite of her sandwich, hoping the action would calm her nerves.

Ellie just stared at her, sandwich lying uneaten on her plate. “Sarah! You moved in together and you aren’t planning on telling him about your night job?”

“My night job?” Sarah stared in confusion. _Ellie can’t possibly know that I’m a spy, so what is she talking about?_

“I tried for so long to figure out how you could afford your car, your clothes, and your makeup on a food service salary. You wouldn’t tell us anything about your past. Then you had all these unexplained absences, and you and Chuck were on-again-off-again for so long. Now watching that guy walk out of the yogurt shop, it all makes sense! Why won’t you tell my brother you’re an… _escort_!”

Despite Ellie saying this last in a hushed stage whisper, Sarah was still taking a drink of her Diet Coke and spit most of it across the table in her surprise. “You think I’m a call-girl?” she gasped when she had her breath back.

“Tell me what else would explain all that, Sarah, because I really don’t have any other answer.” Ellie linked her hands above her plate and fixed the blonde woman with a piercing stare.

Sarah just stared with huge eyes. _How in the world do I get out of this?_ “Ellie,” she started softly, dreading the prospect of yet another lie to a woman she had come to respect and even consider a friend, “I don’t really know how to say this. I…used to work for this legal firm in D.C. before I moved out to L.A. When I quit, they gave me the Porsche as a going-away present, but I still go back every so often to help them out with a big client I was familiar with. Chuck and I have had issues in the past because I’m something of a commitment-phobe, and that’s not what your brother deserves. I really care about him, and I’m trying to get past my fears, but we’re having issues right now, and I just met…Colin…this weekend. We went out on a date or two, but he’s flying back to London right now. I’m just not into casual dating anymore, so if Chuck will take me back, I’m going to make an effort to recommit to your brother.”

“What about that kiss?” Ellie asked, still suspicious.

“That was just a goodbye kiss. It’s over, I promise you.” _At least that’s the truth_ , Sarah thought ruefully. “I promise you, Ellie. I’m not a call-girl and I’m going to try to work things out with Chuck.”

Ellie looked doubtful, but decided she’d meddled enough for one day. “Don’t hurt him anymore, Sarah. He doesn’t deserve that.”

***

The first sensation Carina noticed as she regained consciousness was a warm, coppery-tasting liquid in her mouth. _My teeth all seem to be intact. I wonder how much I bled when that traitor smacked me, though. I’m going to get her back for this, somehow,_ she thought to herself as full consciousness returned and she noticed she was bound with rope; her hands tied together behind the support bar of an armless office chair. They weren’t tied very tight, however, and Carina filed that away for later use, if she ever got the chance to escape without a gun pointing at her.

Alex and Sydney were across the room, staring at her. “Welcome back, _Agent_ Williamson,” Prince said sarcastically, “Now, you’re a spy for a drug agency, so you really have no official beef with Fulcrum. The DEA is small potatoes compared to national security agencies. Except,” the brunette paused to lean over and slap Carina across her non-injured cheek, “you’ve been a real thorn in our sides down here. We’ve had to relocate and replace a lot of income you’ve destroyed. What am I going to do with you?”

Carina spat out some blood. “You could let me go, hand me the keys to Fulcrum’s headquarters, and then take a flying leap into the Grand Canyon. That’d be my suggestion anyway.”

Prince laughed mirthlessly at her defiance. “Such bravado! Although I’m sure someone will miss that pretty face,” she patted Carina’s bleeding cheek derisively, “killing you is really the only way I can be sure what you’ve taken from us never ends up in the wrong hands, and as much as I’d love to be the one that pulls the trigger, since Alex here,” Prince turned to face her partner, “has had to put up with you for so long, it’s only fair that he should get to end his own misery.”

Every time Prince turned during her monologue, Carina noticed her eyes rested on Alex. When the two looked at each other, their glances lingered longer than she would have normally expected. Alex’s expression softened into an almost caring look before glancing down to Carina and hardening again.

_They’re more than just partners!_ Carina thought gleefully, _I can use this._

“Oh, you’re going to let Alex put me out of his misery? I suppose that is only fair, since he asked me to put him out of his misery so often.” Carina replied with a lusty leer in his direction.

Prince stopped pacing. “What did you say?” she asked in a flat tone.

Carina grinned before lowering her voice into a breathy purr. “Oh, yeah. Just about every night actually. I’d have him on the edge, begging me to finish him off and put him out of his misery. That was just before he returned the favor, of course. Such a caring, gentle lover too. The misery he got from me was exquisite.”

Prince whirled around on her. “You’re just lying and trying to distract us. Nice effort, but it won’t work.”

Carina cocked her head, and Alex got a worried look on his face. “Oh, really? If I’m lying, how is it exactly that I know about that little birth mark on the inside of his upper left thigh?”

Sydney Prince lost it. She turned around, drew her gun – a Beretta military-style pistol, Carina saw – and aimed it at Alex. “You lying, cheating piece of shit! You weren’t supposed to sleep with her! You were just supposed to tease the slut and keep her under your control.”

Alex spread his hands to show he wasn’t threatening Sydney. “She’s lying! I never slept with her, I promise!”

Sydney cocked the pistol. “That’s what you said after the last time you cheated on me. I’ve had it!” With this last pronouncement, she started firing. Her first two shots drilled Alex’s chest, the third went through his forehead, and the next twelve hit various places on his body, with a particular concentration on his groin. He slumped to the ground, bloodily dead.

Carina used the commotion to work her hands free from the bindings and ready herself for the next move. “Um, about that. I really was lying; I’d never sleep with someone like him anyway.”

Prince spun around, eyes blazing hate. She pointed her Beretta at Carina, but when she pulled the trigger, all they heard was a soft _click_. “Oh, yeah,” Carina said nonchalantly, “You fired all your shots at that bastard.” With the surprised look that took over Sydney’s face, Carina lashed out with her boot and kicked the pistol away. She whipped her hands out from behind her and landed a devastating right hook on Sydney’s jaw.

Prince stumbled with the blow, but quickly regained her balance. Normally in a fight, Carina’s height and reach would have given her the advantage over the smaller Prince, but Sydney had been pushed too far with Carina’s taunts and accidentally killing her boyfriend, so she attacked in a blind fury, forcing Carina on the defensive quickly.

The redhead managed to block most of the blows, but the fierceness of Prince’s charge forced her to give up ground. Eventually, she was able to get in a jab to the gut, and when Sydney doubled over, she lashed out with her right boot and landed a hard kick to the face. That gave her time and space to plan her counterattack.

She started a series of feints and punches designed to confuse Sydney, never feinting with the same arm twice in a row, but the brunette was ready for everything she threw. On one right jab, Prince sidestepped the blow, grabbed Carina’s arm, and moved behind her, bending the arm back and causing Carina to groan.

Prince started pummeling Carina’s side, landing several painful kidney blows. Finally, she kicked Carina’s knee, forcing her to drop to the floor in pain. Sydney ran over to where she and Alex had stored Carina’s pistols, grabbed one and trained it on her.

Carina looked up from her kneeling position with a trickle of blood running down one side of her mouth, breathing heavily. “Before you shoot me, you need to disarm the bombs we placed. They’re on an automated timer, and if I don’t send the cancellation, they’ll detonate on their own.”

The brunette stared disbelievingly at her, but finally relented. “How do I disarm the bombs?”

Carina thought for a moment, saying “Well, I could do it if I just…”

“How dumb do you think I am?” Sydney asked, “Don’t answer that,” she said quickly as Carina opened her mouth, “Just tell _me_ how to disarm them.”

“Take my cell phone, and hit 92407#, then Send,” Carina said with a sigh.

Sydney kept the pistol trained on Carina while she fumbled for the phone. Finding it, she grabbed it and punched in the keys.

The entire building shook violently with the explosions. Carina leapt up, grabbed her phone from the air as it flew out of Prince’s grasp, and ran for the door. She made it out, found a window which lead out onto the roof, and smashed it out. As she ran across the roof, the building shifted under her and started to descend. She sprinted for the edge and leapt into space, reaching out for something, anything to grab onto. She managed to land halfway onto a fire escape of the warehouse next door, shouting in pain as her bruised ribs took most of the impact. She looked over her shoulder as the building she just jumped from collapsed in on itself. Carina sighed out her relief at finally having taken care of her nemesis.

Since she made her escape into the Mexican evening, carina wasn’t around to see Fulcrum medics rescue Sydney Prince – being on the top floor kept her above the worst of the devastation – and take her to a special site for recuperation.

***

Back at the apartment, Carina packed – again – and made plans to move on to the final Fulcrum site on her list – Tijuana: right across the border from San Diego and a perfect spot for Fulcrum to hide. She pulled out her Intersect phone and called her support technician.

“Hey Agent Williamson,” Chuck answered. “How did the mission go in Cabo?” He knew his tone was weak, but in the aftermath of Sarah’s reassignment and Alex Forrest replacing her as his permanent handler, he was too numb to put much enthusiasm in his voice.

Carina snorted. “Well, my partner turned out to be a Fulcrum agent, and I was just barely able to escape before the building blew up. He and Sydney Prince are both dead, and the banking facility is destroyed.”

Chuck stared at the walls of his room, finally snapping out of his stupor at her revelations. “Your partner was Fulcrum? Wait, why didn’t you tell me his name ever? I could have checked it out.”

She sighed as she packed her socks, “You’re right, I should have. I just thought it was official from the DEA and never questioned it. His name was Alex Winterborne.”

At the name, Chuck flashed. He saw Winterborne’s picture, and recognized the agent who had pretended to hold Jill hostage, then escaped after destroying what he thought was the only copy of Fulcrum identities on the jump drive. “Uh, yeah. I’ve actually run into him before. You killed him?”

“No, I just pretended that we slept together to get his real girlfriend jealous. I wasn’t expecting her to flip out and gun him down.” Carina still had trouble believing that ploy worked.

“He was dating Sydney?” Chuck asked in surprise.

“Yup, but not anymore,” Carina replied, “Now I’m on to Tijuana. I’ll call you when I get there, and we can go over the plans for the last Fulcrum drug site, ok?”

Chuck didn’t have the energy to do anything more than agree, glad that she hadn’t asked him to flash again. “That works. I’ll talk to you then, Agent Williamson.”

They disconnected the call, and Carina , after tossing the phone into her bag, was left to stare in silence at yet another empty apartment. The mission had taken more twists and turns than she would have ever expected, and the one thing she couldn’t shake was a feeling that she was missing something big directly in front of her. Unbidden, her mind brought Chuck’s face into her consciousness. She shook off the now-familiar sense of longing and regret and started gathering her things for Tijuana.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which identities are revealed, Carina gets back to Los Angeles, and her presence starts causing havoc.

**Chapter 14**

_Chuck, I'm leaving in the morning. The details are classified, but I'm working on the new Intersect Project with Bryce._

***

_“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”_ Carina chuckled to herself at the quote as her rental car crested a hill and she saw her final Mexican objective below her. Tijuana was the worst of any of the places she had to visit thus far. Its proximity to the US border ensured it was a hub for human and drug smugglers, and the cartel violence left the city a devastated battleground. In a perverse way it couldn’t have been a better setting for her last stop in Mexico, however. She never wanted to visit the country again, so if her last stop was the worst, so much the better.

She still had trouble emotionally dealing with Alex’s betrayal. The Fulcrum agent had played her, standing by her side through several dangerous missions before turning on her and setting her up to be killed. If it hadn’t been for some quick thinking and knowing how to play on another woman’s jealousy, Carina never would have left Cabo alive. Her technical benefactor – the faceless Intersect technician – had sent her various technological goodies which also helped. She mentally tallied the number of rounds she owed him if they were ever to meet.

Carina was actually anticipating part of her upcoming mission, however. The assault parameters couldn’t have been better for her current mental and emotional state: the last site in Mexico – Fulcrum’s smuggling hub – called for nothing more than mayhem and destruction. With Alex’s betrayal still a raw wound, she would offload what data she could find, blow the place sky-high, and walk out with assault rifles on full auto. _Search and destroy. Exactly the release I need,_ she thought with a satisfied sigh as her car entered the outskirts.

***

Once she got settled at a hotel expensive enough for her to fit in as a traveling American, she called the Intersect tech to go over the Fulcrum site in Tijuana.

He answered on the first ring. “Hey, Agent Williamson. Are you settled in?”

She heaved a tired sigh as she stretched out on a recliner, “Oh, yeah. That was way too long of a drive, especially after Cabo.”

Chuck laughed softly as he looked around. He was on his lunch break from Roark Industries, but since no one was supposed to identify him, he was sitting off in a corner to himself with no one close enough to hear if he kept his voice low enough. “Yeah, I saw some reports that came out of there. You really did a number on that place, Agent.”

She smiled with pride, recalling the satisfaction of trapping Sydney Prince in a collapsing building. “Thanks, and call me Cassie. We’ve been talking long enough to get past the ‘agent’ formalities, don’t you think? I still don’t know what I should call you though. They never even told me if you have an alias.”

Thinking quickly, Chuck replied, “Call me Luke.”

Carina smiled. “Ok, Mr. Skywalker. Are you ready to talk about Tijuana and what I’ll need?”

It took him a moment to get his bearings after the offhand remark, but he continued, “Absolutely. I spent some time going over the…Intersect’s information last night and I’ve got some notes for you. The site is actually another group of buildings. There’s a headquarters inside an all-purpose building that has an armory, communications equipment, and stuff like that, as well as a drug warehouse. I’d suggest going in light on guns but heavy on explosives. Plant what bombs you can first in the drug warehouse, get the data offloaded like you’ve been doing, and then when you make it to the last building, grab an AK-47 or two and use those on your way out. That way when the Mexican cops do…whatever it is they do for forensics, they’ll blame another cartel.”

In spite of the turmoil she felt on the whole ride up, Carina actually smiled as she pulled her feet under herself. “That’s a great plan. I’m running a little low on those awesome bomb discs you sent me last time though. Think I could get my hands on any more of them?”

Chuck smiled. “Of course. Just tell me your room number and I’ll overnight a dozen or so, or will you need more than that?”

Carina did some quick calculations. “That will be more than what I need, but no harm in blowing that godforsaken hellhole into the smallest pieces I can, right?”

Chuck laughed, but then straightened up. “Wow, I just had a not-so-pleasant realization.”

“What’s that?” Carina replied, suddenly serious at his tone.

“Well, if this operation goes well, our…I’m not even sure what to call it…our working relationship, is over. Fulcrum’s Mexican facilities are in chaos, their funds have basically been cut off because of your sheer awesomeness, and with the loss of this last place…your mission will be over. I’m really going to miss getting these calls and helping you out.”

Carina stood up with a sigh and started pacing her suite. “I hadn’t really thought of much beyond getting the hell out of Tijuana when I’m done here. You’re right; I will be done and back in America. Um, just in case this is the last time we talk, thank you for everything. The stuff you sent me and the plans we hammered out together really helped the whole operation. It’s been wonderful working with you.”

Chuck got a little choked up at the thought of losing this connection, but his lunch break was coming to a close, so he simply said, “Take care of yourself, Cassie and come home safely. Someone in this country has got to be waiting for you, and if not, I apologize on behalf of all the world’s males.”

***

Two guards were well into their overnight shift outside the big building on the edge of the city. It was a warm night, so they were standing outside, talking and smoking. The graveyard shift was always so uneventful that it was nice to have at least one other person there to pass the time. They tensed when they heard the crunch of gravel signifying someone approaching. The first guard drew his pistol and looked out at the darkness while the second fumbled for his flashlight.

“Who’s there?” the first called.

“Relax, boys. I was just walking by when I smelled your cigarettes and decided I needed a smoke. What’s a girl got to do to get a light around here?”

The two guards, seeing the stunning redhead saunter up wearing calf-high black leather boots, skin-tight black pants, a black leather jacket, and a smile. One hand held an unlit cigarette while the other was folded behind her back. The second guard grinned at the first before turning back to leer at the woman. He never made it as a silenced pistol shot punched a hole through his temple. The first guard at least had the opportunity for a look of surprise to dawn before two silenced shots took him in the chest.

“Didn’t your mothers ever tell you that smoking would kill you one day?” Carina snorted derisively as she knelt down and removed each guard’s keycard before entering their post. She bent over the desk, looking at the video feeds on all the cameras. _Perfect,_ she thought as she saw no regular patrols. She started typing on the workstation, following the instructions that Luke thoughtfully included with the shipment of explosives for looping camera footage over the entire network. No one looking at a security camera feed would see her now.

She checked the compound’s layout and found the drug warehouse. Keeping her silenced pistols at the ready, she strolled over without skulking, figuring that in the dark her confident gait would tell anyone seeing her that she belonged there. Once Carina arrived at the drug building, she used the guard’s keycard to open the door and looked around. The processing equipment was silent. _My luck is in again_ , she thought with a smirk.

With the door closed behind her, Carina moved quickly toward a control terminal, where she was able to activate the machines. Once they were running, she connected her trusty USB drive and uploaded the virus once more, causing the machines to run so fast they overheated and essentially destroyed themselves.

Once that was done, she went around the walkway ringing the interior of the warehouse, dropping explosive discs in each corner. With those armed, she ran through the middle of the building, dropping a couple as she went.

Carina escaped the building and ducked into a cone of shadow between the warehouse and the administration center, hiding from any response to the commotion. It proved a needless precaution, as no one showed up. She moved to the entrance of the command building and used the keycards again to access the interior.

The plans Luke sent her included a diagram of this building which indicated the computers were to the left, the armory was to the right, and in the middle was other communications – phones and faxes and the like. She quickly moved to the computers, where she planted the same worm which had proven so useful thus far. Once that had uploaded, she took advantage of the seeming lack of guard presence to scan a computer’s recent documents folder for anything useful.

She found a text file which included a summons from the mysterious ‘R’ she learned about in Cabo instructing anyone receiving the email to meet at ‘Black Rock’ in one week. Embedded in that document was a crude map, showing what looked like a drive-in theater. _Strange,_ she mused, _Maybe I’ll get to talk to Luke again. He might be able to tell me more about this Black Rock place._

Her musings were cut short as she heard a commotion outside. The response had arrived and was checking out the damage she caused in the warehouse. _Too bad they’re too late._ She dropped her final explosive discs in the computer room, slid one into the communications center, and after grabbing an AK-47 and enough magazines to take on an army, she dropped the last bombs in the armory. Pulling out her phone, she set the bombs’ detonators to activate in ten minutes. Carina loaded her assault rifle and readied herself for the final push.

She flung the door open and started firing indiscriminately, growling at the release of all her pent-up rage. The Fulcrum guards who had managed to respond were caught totally by surprise and stood no chance. Those that survived her initial onslaught were merely fodder for her hellish but methodical assault. The redheaded Valkyrie mowed down at least two dozen in her first steps out of the building, but when she looked over her shoulder and saw dozens more in pursuit, she jumped into the nearest SUV and started it.

After loading a fresh magazine, Carina leaned out the vehicle’s window and fired off twenty or so rounds on full automatic. She saw that made her pursuers scatter, so with that break she started the SUV. The pursuers regrouped and now included SUVs of their own, but, as Carina noted by her watch, it was far too late. She floored the accelerator and crashed through the compound’s barrier just as the dozen discs of high explosives simultaneously detonated; turning what was once a nondescript office building and warehouse into a smoking crater. She felt the heat behind her as her SUV raced out of the compound, just ahead of the destruction.

***

Carina dragged herself into the bar. Fulcrum’s Mexican cash operation was no more, and she fully intended to forget everything for just one evening. She made it to the bar itself and ordered a shot of tequila. She threw it back in one gulp, feeling the burn of the liquid soothe her exhausted nerves from the inside out. The bartender quickly refilled her glass, and the second disappeared just as fast.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a slim brunette woman alone in a booth with her head in her hands, sobbing like the world had ended, with an untouched glass of something pink in front of her. Carina saw a chance to blend in and avoid any remaining pursuers. If she was seen consoling this woman, no one would think twice about two friends drowning sorrows.

She quietly walked up to the booth and said in a soft voice, “What’s his name?”

The woman turned hazel-colored eyes full of agony on her. “What?”

Carina looked sympathetically at the brunette. “The guy who left you like this. What’s his name?”

The other woman faced her glass again. “Chuck. Chuck Bartowski.”

Luckily, the woman’s attention was focused on her glass, so she couldn’t see Carina’s stunned expression. She opened her mouth and closed it twice, looking for the entire world like a goldfish before finding her voice. “Chuck?”

She didn’t look up. “Yeah. Chuck. The nicest guy I’ve ever screwed over.”

That was about the only thing the woman could have said to make Carina more interested. “ _You_ screwed _him_ over? What do you mean?” Her tone held a little more steel than she intended, but anyone who messed with Chuck deserved far worse than a firm tone.

The brunette blindly gestured toward the rest of the bar. “It’s a long story; I don’t want to bother you with my misery, and you’re probably here with someone. Don’t let me drag you down too.”

Carina sat across from her and sympathetically held the other woman’s gaze, “I’m here by myself, actually, and I don’t really have anything else to do. Talk to me. What happened?”

The woman smiled and then sniffled into her napkin before continuing. “Chuck is just the nicest guy, and I destroyed him twice. I knew him from college. We dated for a couple years, and we got really close. I think he was shopping for rings toward the end.”

Carina covered her gasp with a cough. _Jill fucking Roberts! Holy shit!_ she said to herself. “I’m sorry, we never got properly introduced. I’m Cassie; what did you say your name was?”

The other woman smiled forlornly and said quietly, “Jill. Jill Roberts.”

Carina’s training kept her emotions in check as she began to pump Jill Roberts for more information. She signaled the bartender for two more drinks and then turned to her new companion. “Ok, Jill. What happened in college?”

“My job happened. It was the…kind of job that didn’t allow for much of a personal life so I was,” she looked up at the ceiling as if it would give her the right phrase, “let’s say encouraged to break off all personal ties and focus on work.” Jill was still looking down at the table as their next round arrived.

Over the next two rounds, Jill confirmed what Carina learned from Chuck about the events at Stanford months before. Jill screwed him over and slept with his best friend. What Chuck never knew, however, was that Jill was forced to break it off with him and make it convincing. Screwing his buddy was the most convincing way she could conceive. The pain in the other woman’s face and voice as she recounted the tale was obvious. She wasn’t lying.

For her part, Jill was just grateful to have someone so willing to allow her to lay down her burdens, even if it was only for one evening. The last round of sobs had just subsided when she got to the more recent events. “I ran into him again a few months ago. I thought it was just a random thing, but I learned that his…company and mine were rivals. I was ordered to seduce him to get access to what his company knew. It was going to destroy him, but he found me out, and I got…fired. I wasn’t even mad at him for it. I hated working for that company and he got me out of it.”

Carina stared into Jill’s pain-filled eyes. “If you weren’t mad at him for that, why are you so upset?”

Jill looked down at her napkin, shredded by nervous fingers that had to stay busy. “He was with this other woman. She was gorgeous and smart, but I knew his company was using her the same way mine was using me. She was supposed to keep him happy and productive, but it wasn’t real. I tried to get him to run off with me but he turned me down for that skank!”

A fresh round of sobs wracked the petite woman as Carina looked on with a mixture of sympathy and revulsion. Jill tried to break Chuck and Sarah up? Anyone could see Chuck was still crazy about Sarah, so to try and ruin that, after ruining him in college, was bitchiness personified. Then it hit her: ‘his company and mine were rivals’. _Jill is FULCRUM!_ Carina fought to keep her realization from showing in her expression. “So, um, Jill, what are you doing here, in Tijuana?”

“Chuck looked me up again, because he needed my help to try and find his dad. My company was looking for his dad too, so he thought I might be able to find some things out that he couldn’t. I gave him the tip he needed, but he looked at me and told me to run far away from him; that he never wanted to see me again.” Instead of crying anew at this confession, the brunette woman downed her drink in one gulp.

Carina threw a few large bills on the table to cover their drinks. “Come on, Jill. Let’s get you out of here. You’ve had enough.” She stood and gently pulled the other woman out of the booth.

When they were back at Carina’s hotel room – if Jill was on the run Carina didn’t want to risk any neighborhood in Tijuana she would have chosen to stay hidden – she locked the door quietly behind them after slipping the ‘Do Not Disturb’ card on the outer knob.

Jill turned to face her newfound friend and smiled. “Thank you for getting me out of there. I was going to drink myself into a coma tonight and stumble back to my roach motel. I don’t want to even think about what would have happened after that.”

Carina cracked her knuckles carefully. “Yeah, about that…don’t thank me yet,” and without warning she reached back and smashed her fist into Jill’s jaw, knocking the woman down to the floor in a heap.

Jill rubbed her jaw and looked up at Carina in shock. “Wha-what the hell was that for? Why did you do that?”

Carina smiled malevolently down at Jill. “I didn’t tell you the whole truth earlier, Jill. If your ‘company’ was a rival with Chuck’s, you were Fulcrum scum. My name isn’t important, but I’m a DEA agent who has spent the last few months fighting Fulcrum’s cartel drug funding sources. Oh, and I’m a friend of Chuck’s by the way.” She punctuated her speech with a kick to Jill’s midsection.

Gasping in pain, Jill dragged herself to her feet. As Carina readied another punch, Jill held one hand up. “Wait!”

Carina wasn’t in a mood to wait, but she settled for grabbing the other woman’s collar and yanking her close. “Tell me why I shouldn’t beat you to a pulp right now,” she growled.

Jill looked terrified, but managed to squeak out, “Chuck was looking for his dad, and I helped him! Fulcrum is taking his dad to a place called Black Rock. They got me out of prison to help find his dad, and Chuck said because I helped he let me go. I swear!”

Carina dropped Jill in surprise, but the other woman was unprepared and fell back to the floor. “Black Rock? I’ve seen that name a couple times. Do you know where it is?”

Jill was grasping her side in a fresh wave of pain. “I’m not sure. It’s somewhere near Barstow, in California. I swear I helped him! Please don’t kill me!” The pleading fear in Jill’s eyes gave Carina pause. She used to be able to kill people in this situation. The woman before her was a traitor both to her country and to someone Carina once considered a…friend. There was absolutely no reason Carina should allow her to live, but something held her back. Jill said that Chuck allowed her to go because she helped him find his dad. If someone as good as Chuck trusted Jill enough to let her go…

Carina leaned down and looked Jill directly in the eyes, making sure the brunette had no doubts about what she was going to say. “You helped him find his dad. That’s the only reason you’re going to leave here alive.” With that, she drew her arm back and with every ounce of strength she had, smashed Jill into unconsciousness.

***

Carina’s rental car screamed up the interstate. She was back in the US and heading toward San Diego when she pulled out her Intersect phone and called Luke.

“Kind of busy here, Cassie. What’s up?” She heard a roaring noise in the background, almost like he was in a car too.

“Hi, Luke. I thought you’d be happier to hear from me, stranger!” she said with a light tone.

“I totally would be, but I’m kind of in a hurry. I’ve got a meeting near Barstow that I’m really late for, actually.”

Carina detected a slight note of panic in his voice that the digitizers couldn’t completely filter out… _Wait…Barstow?_ “You’re going to Barstow? Are you sure? Barstow, California?”

“Yeah, why?”

Carina tried not to drive off the road as her heart rate tripled. _Chuck is Luke! Chuck is the Intersect tech support!_ “I – uh, no reason! I hear it’s nice. I – I just wanted to tell you thanks again, and it’s been great working with you!”

She could hear his hesitation. “Uh, thanks, Cassie. Stay safe out there, ok?”

Her mind was going a million miles an hour. Chuck was trying to find his dad at Black Rock – the same place where a large number of Fulcrum agents were meeting. He’d need all the help he could get, so she made her decision to meet him there and help any way she could. Carina smiled. She’d finally get the chance to make up for leaving. “Will do, Luke. You too,” and she ended the call.

***

Chuck waited by the Herder for Sarah and Casey to rescue his father. Being alone and unprotected in the middle of a Fulcrum reunion party had him jumpy. In his paranoia, every gust of air, every twig snapping, and every crunch of gravel was a Fulcrum agent coming to take him away. Soon, he heard a noise that even his terrified state perceived correctly as someone approaching. It didn’t sound like someone trying to be sneaky; rather the regular crunch of gravel was the slow, steady pace of someone approaching confidently. He turned around to gauge the threat, but in the darkness had trouble distinguishing anything definitive.

The person was shorter and slimmer than him, and the gait was very feminine. She approached until she was within a few feet but stayed in the shadow. Chuck tensed, waiting for the attack when he heard an eerily familiar voice drawl, “Hi there, Luke, or should I say, Chuck?”

He stood frozen. “Carina?”

She emerged from the shadows with a grin on her face. “Cassie – Cassandra Williamson, actually. Nice to meet you in person at last.”

His life since uploading the Intersect featured more than a few twists and turns, but nothing could have prepared him for Carina introducing herself as the agent he’d been helping out in Mexico for months. “You – you’re alive! You’re the agent I’ve been helping in Mexico?”

Carina couldn’t wait any more and stepped forward to wrap Chuck up in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry for what happened. I wasn’t given a choice when I took the mission. They told me to cut all my contacts and go deep. You saved my ass more times than you know. Thank you for that.”

Chuck didn’t really know how to react. The way Carina left a year ago left an ever-present dull ache in his chest. Their friendship had been growing strongly, only for her to leave without anything more than a voice mail and an obituary. He spent a long time angry with her and upset with himself. He wrapped his arms loosely around her and patted her shoulders. She seemed to notice his reluctance and pulled back. In the moonlight Chuck could see that her eyes were shining with unshed tears. “Chuck,” she sniffled, “I know we have a lot we need to talk about, but we’re in the middle of a Fulcrum base, so this isn’t really the time. I just need to know if it’s ok for us to talk later, once this is all over. Can we do that, please?”

Her voice was pleading and her expression was as earnest as Chuck had ever seen. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life thinking about what his stubbornness might have cost, so he had to give her this chance. “Sure, once Sarah and Casey get my dad out.” He looked around hurriedly. “Hey! There’s going to be an airstrike on this base in just a few minutes! You have to get out of here!”

She shook her head stubbornly. “No! I’m not leaving you alone here.”

Chuck’s movements were getting more frantic. “Trust me, you don’t want to be around when the F-16s hit this place. I _promise_ you that we’ll talk later, but for right now you need to get somewhere safe! Sarah and Casey will be back any minute and then we’re going to get out of here too.”

Carina looked around, but didn’t have an argument for that point. “I still want to help you! It’s the least I could do to make up for all the help you gave me in Mexico,” she implored.

He stilled, and then looked at her with a wan smile. “Do you really want to help me out?”

She grinned back at him, nodding. “Just tell me where and when, big boy.”

Chuck laughed in exasperation. _Oh how I’ve missed you, Carina._ “Get down to Echo Park. Do you remember where my apartment is?”

She thought for a moment, looking off into the distance, and then nodded. “Yeah I remember.”

Chuck grabbed her shoulders. “Good. I need you to get down there and keep an eye on my sister and her fiancé. They’re getting married in a few days, and I don’t want anyone from Fulcrum putting them in any danger. Can you do that for me?”

Carina smiled softly at Chuck. He was so cute when he was looking out for other people. His concern for others was a quality she hadn’t seen in many other people, especially since she went to Mexico. _Oh, how I’ve missed you, Chuck._ “Of course I can do that. Don’t worry, they’ll be fine.”

To her surprise, Chuck initiated the hug this time, squeezing her tightly. “Thank you, Carina. You don’t know how much this means. I promise we’ll have that chat after the wedding, ok?”

She squeezed back. “I’ll hold you to that, and if you ask nicely, I’ll hold you to a lot of other things too,” she flicked his nose as she turned to go back to her car, and laughed when his entire body froze up like the Tin Man.

Her car was already out of sight when the large group of silver cars started pouring into the abandoned drive-in theater.

***

Carina sat up the street from a church on a warm, sunny Los Angeles day, watching the organized chaos that was a wedding. It was a week later, and she hadn’t managed to find enough time alone to talk things over with Chuck. Either he was busy helping his sister prepare for the wedding or he had a meeting with Sarah and Casey that he couldn’t get out of, and the stress of waiting to see how he would react to her was driving her crazy. The only way she found to deal with that stress was to keep honoring her word and watching out for his family. Sarah and Casey were hardly ever around the apartment complex anymore. The only time she really saw Sarah was when she was shoring up her cover by doing her bridesmaid duties.

This was finally it: the wedding was about to happen. She sat in a DEA pool SUV – having turned in her rented sedan as soon as humanly possible – up the block from the church in a perfect position. The parking lots around the building gave her just the right sight lines to be able to cover three sides of the church. She’d already seen the flowers go in, followed by the photographer and videographer taking their still shots and background footage of the exterior.

Carina sighed and shook her head. Most of her friends had grown up obsessed with weddings, talking about dresses and flowers and trains and tuxedo styles and orchestras and on and on until her head spun; but she had always been different. The level of effort and planning that went into weddings boggled her mind, especially when the only parts of it that truly mattered were the people. She once voiced that opinion to a circle of her friends at a sleepover, saying that as long as her parents, his parents, a few good friends, and the priest were there, nothing else really mattered. The laughter of the other girls echoed around the bedroom for several minutes, leaving Carina to slink into her sleeping bag, pretending to sleep as the other girls went back to picking out color themes and talking about earrings. Her pillow was still wet in the morning.

She shook her head free of the memories, chiding herself for losing focus like that. Carina’s gaze snapped back to the church, but something was very wrong. Several black SUVs with tinted windows pulled up on a side street. _Really? Black Suburbans? You might as well hang a sign that says “Hi! I’m a government agent!_ “Dumbasses,” she growled. Carina watched as a dozen of what could only be Fulcrum agents streamed into the church, leaving only one to guard each vehicle, presumably to have a getaway ready.

She only counted three SUVs. _Good. That puts the odds at something less than overwhelming._ She hopped out of her own vehicle, checking to make sure she still had the sheath of throwing knives in the small of her back and her Glock was still secure in her shoulder holster. As a further disguise, she took a cigarette out of a pack she kept in her car for just such an occasion.

Carina popped her sunglasses into place and sauntered up to the first SUV with the cigarette dangling from her lip. The first guard caught sight of her and tensed before looking her up and down appreciatively. “Got a light, stud?” she flirted.

He fumbled in his pockets before remembering that he had quit a few months before. “Sorry, I gave it up.”

Carina’s left hand plucked the cigarette from her mouth and threw it on the grass while her right slipped behind her back. “That’s ok. Smoking’s really bad for you anyway.”

The guard looked at her with a confused expression that turned quickly to shock at the knife handle that somehow protruded from his chest.

She slid the knife from the now-dead guard and used it to slash the two rear tires of the first Suburban. Carina pulled two more throwing knives from her sheath, took careful aim, and let them fly. They each found their marks, taking down the remaining guards seconds apart. She took the first knife and repeated her tire-slashing on each of the other two getaway vehicles. Now Fulcrum wasn’t going anywhere.

Carina pulled out her cell to call for a cleaner team from the LA DEA office, and as she turned to head back to her car, she stopped and cocked her head as a very strange melody reached her ears.

“Is that _Mr. Roboto?_ ”

***

Carina watched the reception from the shadowy area on the periphery of the courtyard. Everyone looked like they were having a good time, which meant someone had thrown together a second wedding in a few hours. She would have bet money that Chuck got that started. Seeing him around his friends and family made it easy for her to understand why Sarah’s famous icy defenses had crumbled so quickly. Chuck’s devotion to those he cared about was so heartwarming Carina herself didn’t know how to react to it, and she had only experienced it secondhand when he thought she was another random DEA agent.

Someone approached the area unsteadily, and she tensed, ready to make a quick exit, but she relaxed when she realized it was Chuck. That relief quickly turned to concern when she saw his shambling walk, downcast face, and the bottle of champagne clutched in one hand.

Carina quickly leaned forward, grabbed Chuck’s arm, and pulled him over to join her. “Chuck! Are you ok? You look like someone just died, not someone who threw his sister a wedding in a few hours.”

He turned to look her in the eye and his expression was one of such pain that her own heart broke a little. She pulled him in for a hug, asking his chest, “Chuck? Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Chuck pulled back from the hug and sat down heavily onto a nearby bench, dropping the champagne bottle at his feet in the effort. “She’s leaving.”

Carina sat next to him and started rubbing one hand across his shoulders. “Who’s leaving?”

His gaze never moved from the ground. “Sarah. Sarah’s leaving for her new mission. I thought she was going to stay.”

Carina looked concerned as she pulled Chuck’s shoulder so that he would look her in the eye. “Why is Sarah leaving, Chuck?”

Dull eyes devoid of any life or emotion greeted her. “Because the government doesn’t need me anymore. My role is done, so she’s off to bigger and better things.” He uttered the last few words with such bitterness that it was all she could do not to kiss his cheek and try to squeeze the pain out of him.

“Oh Chuck, I’m so sorry,” was all she could say.

“I just don’t get it, you know? Things have been going so well for us lately. Not even a week ago there was this motel in Barstow where I could have sworn she was in love with me, and now…she’s leaving. I guess I wasn’t ever really good enough for her. The nerd never gets the girl,” he turned again and buried his head in his hands, heaving a sigh, “What am I going to do with my life now, Carina? No more government job, no more fake girlfriend who might be real. I’m just another loser who works at the Buy More – and I’m not even that good of a loser because I quit there. It’s just…” he trailed off as Carina gave in and dragged him into a bear hug.

“You listen to me, Chuck Bartowski. You are _not_ a loser, and you will _not_ give up on your life. You’ve done more good for this country than most agents ever do, and that’s just the help that you gave me in Mexico. I can’t even imagine what you did with Walker and Casey up here,” she pulled back and saw that some life was returning to the depths of his chocolate brown eyes, “There wasn’t a second that I was in Mexico when I didn’t know I made the wrong decision to leave. At the time the guilt from getting you shot made it seem like the right thing to do, but once I was away, I just missed you so much.”

Chuck smiled. “You really don’t have to feel guilty, you know,” he said softly.

“But I do,” Carina looked down to gather herself, “I was so focused on getting out that I totally forgot there were six guys instead of five …” she trailed off as Chuck raised his hand.

“Exactly. You were focused on getting me out to safety. You didn’t forget because you were careless; you had a bigger thought driving the rest out. You didn’t get me shot; you took care of me afterward. You saved my life that night, Carina,” he looked into her shining blue eyes, willing her to understand his words and face down her guilt.

Carina took a quivering breath before giving Chuck a grateful smile and wrapping her arms around him again. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with Sarah or why she’s leaving, but I can promise you something: I’m not…”

Just as she was about to finish her promise, an older man bearing a strong resemblance to Chuck came up to them. “Son, I hate to interrupt, but I really need to talk to you and Agent Walker right now.”

As Chuck got up, he turned to Carina and said, “Don’t go anywhere. We have a lot to catch up on.”

Just as he left with his father, her DEA-issued cell phone rang. She answered the call, hearing the voice of Director Maxwell. “You deserve some kudos for the successful conclusion of Operation Python, Agent Miller. You are hereby ordered to return to headquarters immediately for a full debrief.”

“Understood, ma’am.” As she ended the call Carina looked up to the sky and growled, “You have _got_ to be kidding me.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina takes some time off, sees the situation in Los Angeles, and tries to drown it all out. 
> 
> This chapter is my personal favorite.

**Chapter 15**

_You're a spy now, Chuck. You have to keep your feelings to yourself._

***

_“Congratulations on a very successful mission, Agent Miller.”_

Director Maxwell’s voice rang in Carina’s ears as she slowly folded the first of several pair of jeans and khaki pants to pack. Being back in Washington after Chuck disappeared from the courtyard was jarring, especially after the near-death experiences of Mexico.

As she mechanically continued folding, her mind flashed back to the six months of medical exams, psychological tests, firearm re-certifications, and overall evaluations. It was the standard battery of post-mission exams, but this time around was harder for some reason. She had tried to get in touch with Chuck for the first three months, but every email went unanswered and every call went directly to his voicemail, never to be returned. After three months, there were only two choices: either he was ignoring her – for any of several reasons – or he was dead.

The second alternative didn’t bear consideration, so Carina had to assume he was ignoring her. After the phone calls and friendship they had developed before she got him shot, and the productive – albeit strangely disconnected – way they had cooperated in Mexico, she thought they were on the way to mending their friendship. Six months later, she wasn’t so sure.

Carina tossed her jeans into a duffel bag, thinking about the final post-mission debriefing with Director Maxwell. In her eyes, Operation Python was an unmitigated success, as Carina had destroyed Fulcrum’s drug money funding sources while Casey, Sarah, and Chuck destroyed Fulcrum itself. To boot, two of Fulcrum’s most dangerous agents – Sydney Prince and Alex Winterbourne – were killed.

That point of view was the reason Maxwell was so surprised when Carina stood in front of her and asked for an indefinite leave of absence. _“Why in the world do you want a leave of absence, Agent Miller? After a coup like the one you just pulled off, you can have your pick of assignments. St. Tropez, Rio, Tokyo – you could go anywhere you want. Why do you want to leave?”_

Carina tossed the last pair of pants into her bag. With a sigh, she put her hands on her hips and thought back to her response: _“I saw one source shot and killed in front of me and was betrayed by a fellow agent. My head isn’t really in the right place for another mission right now. I just need some time to recharge, somewhere where I can lay on a beach. I was thinking of going to Los Angeles.”_

Any protests Maxwell might have had died on her lips as she took in her agent. Carina’s eyes had dark circles under the sockets and their usually vibrant spark was gone. Her posture, usually so defiant and strong, was slumped and defeated. Agent Miller was right; she absolutely needed some time to recharge and find her motivation again. _“Request granted. You have six months of accumulated leave time. After that, report to the Los Angeles field office and we’ll discuss your situation again. Dismissed.”_

That was all. Now Carina packed for her six months of time off, ready to spend some time on a Pacific beach and rediscover…something. What that something was eluded her for the moment, but she suspected it had something to do with Chuck. After all, why else would she be packing to move to Los Angeles?

***

Carina was shopping. She managed to secure a short-term lease on a medium-sized one bedroom apartment not far from the beach in Santa Monica. Not knowing Los Angeles that well yet, she headed to the only part of the area she was familiar with – Burbank – to the Large Mart to fill her empty pantry and closets with supplies. It was late, but the store was still open. Luckily, the hour meant that she had the store relatively to herself. She always hated shopping in crowds. People in stores seemed to lose all common courtesy, and to an agent who was supposed to blend in, the rudeness and commotion made invisibility difficult.

She walked slowly down the snack aisle, looking for some salty indulgences. Carina held to a brutal workout regimen to keep herself in peak condition for missions, but she enjoyed the occasional snack food. Just up the aisle, there was someone who appeared to be homeless perusing the shelves. He was dressed in sweatpants and a bulky jacket, and had a long, messy beard. Carina didn’t want to stare, so she turned back to the pallets of snacks, but she saw something out of the corner of her eye that made her turn back. Above his beard was a mop of curly brown hair, the same curly brown hair that…“Chuck?”

He turned, and when she saw his profile, she was certain. The fear in his eyes gave him a haunted appearance that shook Carina to her core. She tried again, this time to calm him down. “Chuck? It’s me.”

There it was. Recognition flashed in his eyes. “Carina? What are you doing here? I tried to find you after the reception, but you left LA.”

“It’s a long story, but the short version is that I got recalled to DC for a debrief on Operation Python. With as well as that went, they told me I could have any post I wanted, but I needed a break, so I came out here to lie on the beach, sip fruity drinks, and ogle some studs. Now I’m here, and I find you looking like your last name should be Lebowski instead of Bartowski. What’s with the, uh,” she gestured to the gigantic tub he was holding in his arms, “cheese balls?”

Chuck glanced down, then back at her with a chagrined expression. When he spoke his shoulders slumped and he sounded defeated. “I don’t even know where to begin explaining the last six months of my life. Short version: it’s basically over. Again.”

Carina’s eyebrows went up. He looked so alone and lost that her heart broke. Whatever happened to him in the six months since his sister’s wedding took the life out of his eyes and drooped his shoulders further than she’d ever seen before. She had to get him out of the store and somewhere quiet where they could catch up. _This is what Walker’s leaving did to him? He really had it bad for her. I guess I never had a chance. Stupid busty blonde skank._

Carina gently took the cheese balls out of his grasp and set them on the nearest shelf. “Come on, Chuck. Let’s get a few things on our way out, and then we’ll go back to my apartment where we can talk.” So saying, she slowly led him to a couple more aisles before checking out.

***

Back at her apartment, while Carina busied herself in the kitchen putting the perishable food away, Chuck started looking around. She didn’t have many pictures of herself or her family, but there were knickknacks scattered around that told him more about who Carina Miller really was. In the living room, a small jar of seashells on an end table, a faux-starfish on the wall and subtle tropical undertones in paint shades combined with furniture oriented toward the sliding glass door rather than the television indicated someone who preferred the outdoors.

Moving into the dining area, Chuck saw a very nicely-stocked bar with the standard drink mix components, but a very impressive variety of whiskey, in addition to Notre Dame coasters and monogrammed glasses. Looking further, he found a set of very expensive-looking tumblers monogrammed with a design he didn’t recognize.

“That’s the Claddagh,” she called out from the kitchen, “It’s a very old Irish symbol. I got that set as a graduation gift from my parents.”

“It’s very nice. Sometime you’ll have to explain the symbolism to me,” he replied. Between the two rooms, he began to see some of the things she normally kept hidden. Just then, she came out of the kitchen with a small bag. Carina handed him a towel and toothbrush along with the travel-sized shampoo, deodorant, and toothpaste before pointing him to the bathroom. Five minutes after the shower kicked on, she slipped in and laid a new pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a pair of boxers – she grinned to herself at how mortified he was in the store when she bought those, especially how she pulled his sweatpants away from his hips to check his size – on the sink. After she quietly slipped out, she laid a sheet under one of the dining room chairs and waited for him to finish.

When he emerged from the shower still rubbing his hair with the towel, Carina grinned. He put the T-shirt on. _This is going to be so much fun,_ she thought to herself with an inward chuckle. She swayed over to him, watching his movements freeze up as he tracked her hips.

“Um, do you, I mean, is there…” he gave up, exasperated at his inability to form coherent words.

“Something you need, Chuck?” she took pity on him and managed to take the sauciness out of her tone.

“I was actually just hoping you had some alcohol around here. I could really use a drink.” He looked around, as if noticing the apartment for the first time. “Wow, this is a really awesome place you have. Did the DEA set this up for you?”

“No, actually this was all me. Technically I’m on leave, so they wouldn’t give me a place to live.” She walked over to the cabinet serving as her bar. “What’ll you have? I have whiskey, vodka, rum, Kahlua…”

Chuck’s head snapped up. “If you have any cream, I have a sudden craving for a White Russian.”

Her grinning face popped out from behind the counter. “Of course you do. Will Bailey’s do ok?”

“Sure, let’s have an Irish White Russian. Détente indeed,” Chuck said with his first smile of the night.

As Carina mixed the ingredients, she gestured to the chair. “Sit.”

Chuck looked back at her with a funny expression, but did as he was told. Carina set the glass on the counter before walking over to him and saying, “Lift your arms.”

His eyebrows shot up, but the firm gaze with which she fixed him left no room for debate, so he obeyed. He flinched when she grabbed the hem of his shirt, but when she lifted it straight up over his head, he drew back. “What – what are you doing?”

From the table behind him, she brought out a pair of hair scissors. “I’m getting you cleaned up. You’re way too cute to look like the Dude.”

“The who?” Chuck asked with a confused expression.

Carina brought her hand up to her forehead and looked down. “Later. I’ll explain later. Now, you want to tell me why you and Sarah are on the outs?”

Carina started snipping at his beard, so Chuck spoke very carefully. “How did you know Sarah and I were having troubles?” He had to summon every ounce of his self-control to not look down her shirt as she leaned over to trim some more.

She pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Give me a _little_ credit here, Chuck. At your sister’s wedding reception you were three seconds from breaking down when you said she was leaving without you. Six months later, and you’re wandering the Large Mart alone with Jabba the Hutt’s tub of cheese balls. It doesn’t take the DEA’s finest to know something’s rotten in Echo Park.”

Chuck nodded. “You’re right. She didn’t leave. I can’t really say why, but she stuck around. They sent me to Prague to be trained as an agent. I thought that was the greatest thing. Finally, Sarah and I were going to get the chance to be together for real. No handler, no asset, just agents and partners.” The twinkle was back in his eyes when he spoke of the optimism he must have felt.

Carina smiled at his description. “I’m with you so far. Sounds like things were pretty good. What happened?”

The smile left his eyes. “Sarah wanted to run. She told me to meet her on the platform at the train station and we’d get on a train and just run. We could be together, no spies, no lies, no nothing but us.”

She stopped snipping, as her entire body stilled. “That seems like everything you’ve ever wanted. Why didn’t you go with her?”

Chuck sighed and cast his gaze down. “Because we would have been together, but never able to breathe. We never would have been able to stop running. Every hotel could be bugged, every car behind us could have agents, and I never would have seen my sister again. If we stayed and waited out the training, we could have been together for real. We could have been lovers as well as partners and I wouldn’t have lost the only family I have left.”

He sounded heartbroken, and Carina almost dropped the scissors and squeezed him to death. He gave up the girl of his dreams begging him to run off together so he could be with his family. Instead of being rewarded for his loyalty, she abandoned him. She calmed herself for him, and asked, “So why are you back here? That beard isn’t regulation.”

“Well, with Sarah gone, I lost the ability to…ah, hell. You worked with Intersect data in Mexico. Carina, there’s no computer I used to access all that information. The Intersect is in my head.”

Carina looked at him searchingly, but he appeared serious. She leaned in and felt his forehead.

Chuck’s eyes rolled at her attempt to check for a fever. “I promise you, I’m not sick or lying. The data was encoded into thousands of images. When someone sees the images, they automatically upload into the brain.”

Now her expression turned searching. “So, what you’re saying is that you somehow visually loaded every secret the United States government has into your brain?” When Chuck nodded in affirmation, she continued, “Are you sure you’re feeling all right? I know this thing with Sarah’s upsetting, but maybe it was too much. I should see about getting you to talk to an Agency counselor and…”

She moved to the phone and Chuck could see he had to act quickly to stop her from calling a shrink and flagging him to Beckman, so he cut in, “How else could I know about Argentina, Maria?”

Carina froze, “What did you say?” she asked in a quiet, dangerous tone.

“How else do you think I knew about that mission? The first time I saw you, your face triggered a data stream – I call it flashing – on that mission. Every time you called me for information from Mexico, I flashed,” he finished.

She still looked disbelieving, but didn’t move any closer to the phone. “What if I wanted proof?”

He shrugged. “That’s the problem. A few months ago when you were in Mexico it wasn’t an issue, because things were going ok here. With this whole Sarah thing, my emotions are all out of joint and I haven’t been able to flash. Beckman fired me. Now Sarah will barely acknowledge my existence, but luckily for her she won’t have to ignore me too much longer. With me fired, she and Casey are just here to pack up the base before they take their new assignments. I don’t even have the Buy More as a job anymore, and things have just completely gone out of control and…” as he continued rambling his voice gradually grew more emotional until Carina thought he was going to break down into tears.

She cut off his rambling by putting the scissors down – the snipping was long done and he needed a razor now – straddling his lap, and wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his upper back as she cradled his head to her chest. “Shhh. Hey, it’s going to be ok,” she murmured among soothing nonsense noises. Chuck buried his face in the crook of her neck and took several deep breaths, trying to fight off the sobs threatening to overtake him completely.

Slowly, Chuck calmed down. “Thanks, Carina. I really needed that,” he said with only a slight hitch in his voice as he pulled back from her embrace. When he saw how much of his beard hair clung to her shirt, he flushed and started to apologize.

She put her right index finger across his lips to shush him. “It’s ok. I needed a clean shirt anyway. There’s a razor and a small can of shaving gel in the bag on the counter. While I get a new shirt, why don’t you go finish shaving? After that, we’ll have a drink and talk some more.”

After they were both cleaned up and had a drink or two, the alcohol was visibly calming Chuck down. “So, you’re on a leave of absence?” he asked with a glance in her direction from his position in an easy chair.

She shifted on the couch and put her glass of whiskey on the end table. “Yeah. Mexico just took too much out of me to go right back into the field. I watched Prince murder that source in front of me, and then when Alex betrayed me, it just shook me too much. I needed to come out here and get my bearings.”

“And have you found any of those bearings yet?” he asked his glass.

Carina smiled at his timidity. “One or two. I have a few months’ more time off though, so I hope I can find a few more.”

He chuckled at her light tone. “I’m glad you’re going to be around. Morgan is going through a rough patch too, Casey can barely tolerate my presence, and even my sister and Devon are hinting at kicking me out. Oh, yeah and Sarah hates me.”

Carina rolled her eyes, but smiled to show she wasn’t upset with him. “Chuck, Sarah does not hate you. Deep down I’m sure she knows why you didn’t run, but you have to give her some time to come to terms with it. She doesn’t trust easily, so she’s hurting right now, but don’t give up. If you really like her, don’t give up. You still have some time before she leaves. Use it! Tell her how you feel and at least go down swinging.”

Chuck smiled at her and for the first time that evening the smile reached his eyes.

Something in her speech left Carina unsettled though, and when Chuck left – in a taxi – shortly afterward, she was left to wander her empty apartment. She was brushing her teeth before bed, when, looking in the mirror, it finally hit her. She felt upset because she just urged Chuck not to give up on getting back together with Sarah. She was jealous! The toothbrush dropped to the sink as her mouth fell open. She had feelings for Chuck Bartowski that went beyond friendship. That explained the flutters when she looked in his eyes or touched his skin. That explained the pain she felt when she lied about her Mexico mission and the elation when she learned it was he who helped her with it. _So that’s what those unexplained feelings have been. I’m falling for Chuck Bartowski!_

***

Carina parked her car at the Buy More, determined to have it out with Sarah. The blonde’s treatment of Chuck in Prague and now back in California was completely unwarranted. Sarah, turned down for the first time in her life – for all the right reasons – was doing her best to make the guy’s life miserable.

Before she could leave her car, the Buy More’s doors slid open and Chuck’s short, bearded friend walked out. _Morgan_ , Carina remembered as she slouched down in her seat. She deliberately called him ‘Martin’ on their double date to keep him at arms’ length, so he wouldn’t get too optimistic that anything would happen between them. He didn’t see her, and when he was safely out of sight, she breathed a sigh of relief.

As she reached for the door handle, she looked at the store’s entrance and saw one man in black carrying Chuck over his shoulder following another holding Walker at gunpoint, who in turn was following a thin bald man with a nasty bruise on one cheek. They herded Sarah into a van, dumped Chuck unceremoniously into the back, and drove off.

Carina panicked. There was no way for her to tail Chuck or Sarah, and even if she could, being an agent on leave she wasn’t carrying any of her weapons. They were all back at her apartment, as they were too hard to explain on the off-chance that she was caught with them. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Casey’s number. After two rings, she heard a grunt. “Casey! It’s Carina. Chuck and Sarah were just kidnapped outside the Buy More!”

She heard a short silence before Casey responded, saying, “What are you doing in Burbank?”

Carina slammed the steering wheel. “Is that really important right now? A thin bald man and two goons just took Sarah in a van at gunpoint. Chuck was unconscious or…” she couldn’t finish the thought.

“Roger that. I know who has them. I’ll organize a rescue.” He hung up before she could get in a request to go with.

“Oh, Chuck, please come out of this alive,” she said in despair.

***

Chuck walked out of Castle with a spring in his step for the first time in months. Things were finally looking up, and although he had a very tall mountain to climb to fix things with Sarah, she would still be around for him to try.

His phone rang, showing Carina’s picture. “Hey, Carina! I got some really great news today. The old team is back together! Sarah and Casey aren’t going anywhere!”

“That’s great news, Chuck, and I have some good news too. I just got off the phone with my Director. She’s loaning me out to Beckman to help you guys on a mission. We’re going to be working together again! All four of us, I mean.”

Chuck stopped walking in surprise. “Really? That’s awesome!”

“I know! You and Sarah and I are going to meet at a club later to talk about it.”

“A club, really?”

“Yeah, trust me. I’m going to introduce you to the mark I’m pretending to date for this mission.”

Date? What? Chuck stopped moving, his good mood evaporating like a thin fog. “Yeah, um…see you there!”

What the hell was going on? Why did his stomach drop about six feet when he heard Carina was pretending to date someone for a mission? He barely had a grip on his feelings for Sarah and now he was actually jealous of a mark Carina was pretending to date? _Do I actually have feelings for Carina?_

***

“It feels like I haven’t been off duty in years. How long are you in town for anyway?” Sarah asked her best friend.

“I’m not really sure. Los Angeles has all the cultural panache of a porta-potty, but there are one or two people here I wouldn’t mind getting to see a bit more,” Carina dodged. She had to be in full Agent-Miller-mode tonight. Carina the girl couldn’t let her friend know how she really felt.

Sarah laughed as they clinked glasses, “I’ve missed you!”

“So, why are you still here? How long can you possibly have to protect some doofus at a stereo store?” Carina swirled her drink, deliberately making her tone harsher than she needed to. The last thing she wanted was for her blonde friend to think she’d seen Chuck since the diamond mission.

“You know, I really don’t want to talk about work,” Sarah responded, physically twisting her body as she figuratively twisted to avoid the question.

“Ahhh, so you’re sleeping with him?” Carina asked with feigned curiosity. She knew the truth, but she wanted to see how far Walker would go to avoid talking about her status with Chuck.

“We have a _very_ professional relationship,” Sarah emphasized in response.

_At least that’s the truth,_ Carina thought to herself, _you wanted more, but Chuck wanted it all._

“Oh,” she said, looking around without any idea of what to say next.

“What?” Sarah asked pointedly. Carina was up to something, but she had no clue what it was yet.

“Nothing! You’re just really into him, that’s all,” Carina kept fishing for some hint regarding Sarah’s real feelings for Chuck.

“Look, can we please not talk about Chuck?” Sarah begged.

“Oh my God, Walker!” Carina looked at her friend in dismay which she masked as surprise.

“What?” the blonde looked guarded and wary at the outburst.

“You broke the cardinal rule of spying, didn’t you?”

Sarah’s only response was to slam down her glass in frustration, both at Carina’s inability to let the matter go and her inability to lie about her lingering feelings for Chuck.

“I…I…yes, I did. I fell for him! Are you happy now?”

Carina forced a grin back at her friend as she felt her heart sink. “At least I got you to stop lying to both of us.”

Sarah growled in exasperation.

“So what happened?” Carina wasn’t going to let her off this easily.

“I wanted to run. He was failing his training, and I wanted to run with him. Away from this life, away from the pressures and the constant worry about the next bullet being the last. He turned me down. He chose being a failed spy over being with me.” She finished her response in the smallest voice Carina had ever heard from her.

“That’s it? That’s what you’re mad about?” Carina’s tone told Sarah exactly how little the redhead thought of her actions.

“What? What did I do wrong? He wouldn’t run with me!” Sarah whined, picking her glass back up and took another slug of the liquor.

Carina laughed in her friend’s face. “You’re not mad he didn’t run with you; you’re mad he wanted to find a way to be together without having to hide.”

Sarah glared Carina, daring her to keep talking.

The redhead couldn’t resist that kind of challenge. “Yeah, that’s it,” she said with a smirk, “You’re mad because he wanted a relationship where you couldn’t run off when it got too real for you. Now that you can’t hide behind the asset-handler excuse anymore, you’re looking for an out.”

Sarah’s glower intensified. “Think you know it all, huh?”

Carina didn’t back down. “You always run from anything that has a chance of turning into a real commitment. You’ve never allowed yourself to get into a position where you had to give as good as you took. I always used to laugh to myself whenever you whined about me taking what you wanted. There’s a reason for that: you always want the good guys, but you’ll always run away as fast as you can the moment it gets real and you have to commit.”

Sarah finally had enough. “I’m not having this conversation with you. Let’s talk about this mission of yours, and then I’m going home.”

Carina huffed in satisfaction. “Fine. My mark is over there,” she gestured with an inclination of her head, “let’s go chat up my ‘date’.”

***

Sarah and Carina got ready for the party in silence. Sarah was slipping a knife inside her bra as Carina came out of the bathroom wearing her lace camisole, hipster panties, and knife holster around her thigh. She slipped a knife of her own inside the heel of her shoe as Sarah holstered a throwing knife on her own thigh. Carina’s dress was curve-hugging and plum-colored with ruffled straps. Sarah wore her usual mission-party royal blue, but the style of the spaghetti strap dress with its slits on each side was new. Maybe Walker was trying to goad Chuck into making another move, or maybe she was trying to show him she wasn’t going to hang around waiting.

As they got ready, each was dealing with emotions in turmoil and unwilling to break the tension from their near-argument the night before. Sarah was nervous at having to pretend affection with Chuck. Actually, the part that had her more nervous was keeping him at an emotional arms’ length while pretending affection.

Carina was still trying to understand the implications of having feelings for Chuck. That a Nerd-Herder-turned-spy gave her these…feelings…still staggered her. On top of that were Chuck and Sarah’s still very real feelings for each other. Carina knew after talking to each that they still wanted to be together. Sarah was pretending not to, but after almost a decade of friendship she couldn’t hide emotions that big from her best friend. Chuck’s feelings were out there for the entire world to see, and while normally Carina thought that was refreshing and cute on him, these particular feelings depressed her every time she thought about them.

Should she make a play for him? Sarah still wanted him, and with her blonde friend’s checkered past, Chuck could be the one to ground her, and give her something real, if only she would take that chance. As Carina thought more about her friend’s history and all the guys Sarah had dated during training, then Bryce – despite Bryce being a special case; they were only together for the sex – she knew what was going to happen. Sarah would run from love, the way she always did. Would it be worth breaking them up prematurely?

Sarah had been her best friend for so long, through so much, and had literally saved her life on several occasions that she owed her at least the chance to try for something real, as much as it might hurt letting someone else try for the man she was falling harder for every day.

She looked down at Sarah’s vanity and saw something that seemed out of place among all the other extremely expensive jewelry: a silver charm bracelet.

“Hmm. Here, this charm bracelet looks like something a sucker in love would wear, doesn’t it?” she asked, twirling the metal in her hand.

“Oh, no. It’s not really my thing.” Sarah responded as she applied her makeup.

“When we wrap this mission, maybe you should come with me on my next assignment,” Carina offered, determined that her friend not be aware she was staying in Los Angeles for a few more months, “I know it’s not Burbank, but we can make the best of St. Tropez, right?” she laughed, gently elbowing Sarah.

After a long pause, Sarah asked, “Do you ever wonder about a different life?”

Carina knew Sarah was trying for any justification to take another chance on Chuck. “You mean like, if all this was real? If we were really getting ready for my engagement party?”

“Yeah,” Sarah answered softly.

_Yes._ “Nah,” she answered gruffly, working the action on her pistol. The harshness of the sound broke the moment and focused her thoughts back on the mission.

***

_…And the decision I made in Prague. I know what it looks like, I know that it looks like I chose being a spy over-over being with you. But that's not what happened. How I felt about you was real. Very, very real. And I know that you know how I felt about you for a long time, you know. But when Carina told me what you said, those three words that I waited to hear for so long. Look Sarah, I know. You were probably very hurt. Probably hurt that I didn't run away with you in Prague... Sarah, I love you._

***

Chuck dragged his aching body out of the Orange Orange. Seeing Sarah kiss Bryce and Cole didn’t leave him feeling as hopeless about their relationship as he was now. Sarah requested reassignment to go with Carina, only to have Beckman shoot her down. She took out her anger on him, berating him verbally and beating him physically with the bo staff in the dojo.

_“You need to learn to ignore your emotions. Spies do not have feelings! Feelings get you killed. You need to learn to bury them in a place deep inside.”_ The words had cut deep. She was really telling him to ignore his feelings for her, telling him that she didn’t care about him anymore.

She tried to goad him into attacking, but he refused to activate the Intersect, knowing that once he surrendered even a little control of his body, there was a chance Sarah might get hurt.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Sarah.” _Sweep. Slam._

“Don’t worry, Chuck. You can’t.” _Yup,_ he thought as he fell into his car, _it’s over. I blew it again. The nerd never gets the girl._

***

Carina barely made it back to her apartment after the party and confrontation with Stromberg at Chuck’s. Seeing Chuck confess his feelings for Sarah – even indirectly in front of a crowd – hurt worse than she ever thought it would. She had just come to terms with her own feelings for Chuck only to see him declare that he still was in love with Sarah. The surveillance camera video that blew her cover was the worst of all. Intoxicants don’t make people do things they wouldn’t normally do; they lower inhibitions so that people do things they’re normally too restrained to do. Thus, Chuck’s confession of love was his true desire. She fell onto her couch and covered her face with her hands, not wanting even her empty apartment to witness her tears. _I wasn’t in time. At least we’re still friends, and I can help him fix things with Sarah. That’ll make us even for Mexico, and I can figure out what to do with the rest of my life._

***

Sarah was sitting at a computer in Castle, more confused than ever about her situation with Chuck. The pain of his abandonment in Prague – abandoning her just like her dad and Bryce most recently – was still a gaping wound. She wanted to stay angry at him for the way he hurt her, but the indirect profession of his feelings in the courtyard was cooling her anger more than she was comfortable with. Then their talk about cleaning up the mess of their relationship while he literally cleaned up the mess of the courtyard cooled her even more. He accomplished the mission, with or without flashing, and she had to give him the credit he deserved.

Still, she made sure he knew he was on his own cleaning up the mess before walking out of the courtyard.

Just then, Carina strolled up to her, ready with a challenge: “So, St. Tropez doesn’t sound appealing to you?

_More than you know,_ Sarah thought, _but…_ “Oh, incredibly, but I think I’m going to stay here. At least, for now.” _Maybe Chuck can clean this mess up and we’ll see where we stand._

Carina smirked, hiding her true feelings. “I thought you’d say that. Here, a little going-away present,” she slid a USB drive over to Sarah on the desk, “You should take a look at it.” _I hope you realize one day what an incredible gift I’m giving you with this video, you lucky bitch. If you hurt him after you see this I promise you I will break every chicken-shit bone you have._

Sarah smiled hesitantly. “Ok, well, I guess I’ll see you around, huh?”

“Yeah, you will.”

She popped the USB drive into the computer and a surveillance video began to play. _Oh my God…that’s the video of Chuck in the vault that got us into trouble. I missed what he was saying while I was in the vents trying to stop the gas…wait…what did he say?_ As Chuck reminded her of the lessons of selflessness and service to the greater good that she’d taught him over the last two years, Sarah’s mind flashed back to all the times she told him he was a hero. _Maybe this wasn’t all Chuck’s fault…_

***

Ellie walked into the bar with Devon and three other doctors they knew, intending to have a drink after a very long shift. Too many accidents on the roads meant a horrific night for doctors at hospitals. The four got a corner table and just ordered their drinks when Ellie saw a thin redheaded woman drunkenly stumble away from the bar and fall flat on her face.

She got up and almost ran over to the poor woman. When she rolled the woman onto her back, she started to ask about her condition when she had a flash of recognition.

“Miss? Are you ok? How many fingers do you…hey, I know you! You were the nurse who took care of my brother after he got shot!”

Carina was barely conscious, her movements slow and uncoordinated. “He loves her! That, that…skank that doeshn’t even care ‘bout him!” When the woman opened her eyes, Ellie knew something terrible had befallen her: the nurse’s eyes were brimming with agony and despair.

Ellie looked up in concern, gesturing for her husband to join her. “Devon! I think this is the nurse who took care of Chuck when he was in the hospital. I need to get her home; she’s had way too much to drink. I’ll see you when I get home, ok sweetie?”

Devon nodded. “Sure thing, babe. Be careful with her.” He kissed her cheek and helped Ellie stand the woman up. When the redhead proved unable to even lean on someone else, Devon carried her outside and slid her across the backseat of a cab. Ellie managed to get the woman’s purse and saw that her name was Carina Miller and that she lived in Santa Monica. _That’s odd,_ she thought as she gave Carina’s address to the cab driver, _I could have sworn in the hospital she said her name was Car-something…Carmichael! What’s going on?_

When they got to the building, the cabbie was nice enough – after a hefty tip – to help Ellie get Carina up to her apartment. Ellie fished Carina’s keys out of her purse and held the door as the cabbie half-dragged the redhead in and laid her on the couch. He beat a hasty retreat back to his cab as Ellie took Carina’s shoes and jacket off to make her more comfortable. She elevated Carina’s head and then went to look for some aspirin and a bottle of water. Carina was going to have the devil’s own hangover when she woke up.

After setting out some aspirin and a bottle of water, Ellie started poking around. She hated the idea of snooping, but the disparity in the name on Carina’s driver’s license and the name she used in the hospital needed explaining.

She started in the kitchen, which was extremely well-appointed. Stone counters – she couldn’t tell if they were granite or quartz in the dark – combined with dark-wood cabinets and stainless-steel appliances gave the place a modern feel, but the array of cooking implements and different foods scattered around said counters told her this was a room used frequently by someone who enjoyed food preparation. Nothing more could be gleaned at that time, so she moved on.

Ellie walked quietly into the dining room, but other than a truly vast bar of mostly-full bottles, nothing was out of the ordinary there. In a hall leading to what she presumed was a bedroom, she saw a framed panorama of a baseball stadium with a green seats and a black scoreboard in the back featuring colored wheels on top and a giant screen in the middle. Below that was a similar shot of a football stadium with diagonal lines in the end zones instead of the team’s name or logo.

Entering the bedroom, she slid open the drawer of a nightstand and saw an official-looking black leather folder, about the size of a deck of cards. When Ellie opened it, she saw a badge and an ID card. The card was issued by the Drug Enforcement Administration to Carina Miller. She dropped it in shock.

“What the hell is going on here?”

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina meets a new friend and save's Chuck's bacon while finally putting an old problem to rest.

**Chapter 16**

_Chuck and I are just friends._

***

Carina woke up slowly to the sound of metal clanging on metal and something sizzling. The second thing she was aware of after that was a throbbing headache. Her memories of the night before were hazy, but she vaguely remembered a brunette woman helping her up from a bar floor after downing the better part of a bottle of Jameson. She sniffed and caught a tantalizing aroma that somehow didn’t make her stomach churn. Someone was cooking in her kitchen. That certainly explained the banging of pans that she heard. Carina opened her eyes part way and saw that she was on her couch in her pajamas. That was interesting because she didn’t remember getting home. Someone must have helped her, which means they figured out who she was and where she lived. It was probably the brunette, but who was she?

Her eyes shot open the rest of the way. She was in danger from whoever got her home, as grateful as she was for them to get her home and – she turned her head and saw the bottle of water and aspirin on the coffee table – taking care of her. Carina calmed herself. Getting agitated while her head was throbbing wouldn’t do her any good at identifying and possibly eliminating a possible threat. She slowly opened the aspirin, shook out four pills, and swallowed them along with half the contents of the water bottle.

The next thing she had to do was get rid of the awful taste in her mouth. Carina swung her feet to the floor – noticing that whoever took care of her the night before had even slipped her favorite pair of warm socks on – and slowly stood up. She didn’t fall over, which was a good thing. She looked around and slowly padded toward the bathroom with an uncertain stride.

As she passed the kitchen, she saw a bowl of beaten eggs standing ready for a pan, while another pan on the stove held sizzling ham steaks. The toaster dinged and popped up first two, then two more slices of bread. There was a woman wearing dark blue jeans and what looked like a blue T-shirt behind the open freezer door, digging for something. Carina tensed and reached for a steak knife from the nearby block. The door started closing, and Carina swept the knife behind her back. The door closed and the woman turned to face her holding a bag of frozen hash browns, Carina remembered who she was. Chuck’s sister Ellie. _Oh, crap. Just when things couldn’t get more complicated._

The doctor turned and saw that Carina was up. “Oh, good, you’re awake! Here, let me give you a quick exam to see if you’re ok.” She began to check Carina’s pupils and felt her pulse before stepping back, satisfied her patient was recovering. “I set out a towel and a robe along with some clean clothes for you in the bathroom. Why don’t you go take a shower while I finish cooking breakfast? It should be ready by the time you’re done,” Ellie gazed down at the stove, then noticed the missing steak knife from the knife block and laughed, “Oh and you can relax and put the knife back. I’m not here to rob or kill you, I promise.”

Carina gaped, but wordlessly nodded and obeyed. She slid the knife back into its place and walked back to the bathroom for her shower. Everything the doctor said was waiting in the bathroom was there just as promised. The hot water felt like heaven, clearing away a significant portion of her hangover. As she rinsed the soap off, Carina tried to figure out what she was going to do. Chuck’s sister got her home from the bar, which meant she saw her identification. That subtle tease she gave Chuck by using his own cover name was going to really come back to bite her now. She didn’t know what she was going to face when she went back out to the rest of the apartment, and the mirror as she toweled off and brushed her hair held no answers either. She put her hair up in a ponytail and finished getting dressed.

When she got back out to the kitchen, Ellie was sitting at the table in front of one of two steaming plates of scrambled eggs, ham, and hash browns; greasy food to soak up any binge-drinking leftovers. A mug of coffee sat in front of each plate. Her stomach rumbled hungrily at the sight, which made the brunette doctor laugh.

“Come on, sit down and have some breakfast,” Ellie said gently.

As Carina sat down and took a forkful of eggs, mentally saying Grace as she did whenever she was with company who may or may not pray before eating, the doctor took a sip of coffee. The eggs were amazing. Light and fluffy, with just a sprinkle of cheddar cheese on top, and something Carina couldn’t identify.

“Now, why don’t you tell me what you were doing hanging around my brother in the hospital after he was shot, Nurse Carmichael, or should I say, DEA Agent Carina Miller?” Ellie’s determined expression didn’t change as Carina’s fork dropped to her plate with a clatter.

***

Carina sat on the beach with her knees drawn up to her chest as the late afternoon/early evening sun warmed her face. She was surrounded by people but alone with her thoughts. The sun beat down but after slathering on sunscreen and putting on a hat and sunglasses, she didn’t pay it any more attention. Her thoughts were on the past few weeks.

Chuck and Sarah’s team was back in the field, which meant they were going to get plenty of chances to play the adoring couple. Chuck got through Walker’s defenses once, so he could do it again, even if after the misunderstanding in Prague those defenses were stronger now than they had ever been.

The real question was what Sarah would do. Carina knew the blonde better than almost anyone in the world, especially since her father had been in prison for the better part of the last decade. She could see in her friend’s eyes that Sarah still had feelings for Chuck, much as she denied them. The one constant in Sarah’s entire life was running. She learned it from her father as they moved from town to town, identity to identity. In reality, Sarah’s childhood was the perfect training for life as a spy. She was raised pretending to be other people and spent her formative years learning to get things out of other people before running off to do it again.

Sarah had never known a stable relationship. Not only had she never been in one place for long enough to get close to anyone like that, her father basically pimped her out, using her to go on a few dates with rich kids before making the score and skipping town. After more than a few post-mission drinking sessions, Carina knew how much Sarah yearned for someone who would love her, but the blonde’s fundamental problem was one she didn’t even know about: she only wanted that love on her own terms. Sarah never wanted to give up enough of herself to make the other person’s investment worthwhile, so if the relationship didn’t sour on its own, Sarah always bolted before she had to commit.

Even though Chuck and Sarah were physically working together, Sarah had emotionally skipped town after Prague. Maybe with time and proximity, they could work things out, but Carina wasn’t sure if she wanted that to happen. What would Chuck do? Would he try to win Sarah back? Carina wasn’t sure if he felt anything for her the way she did for him, but there were small indications he did care for her. She sighed in frustration. Sarah deserved someone who could show her what a real relationship was, which is why she gave her the jump drive with the surveillance video. If that person was Chuck, Carina was out in the cold.

Despite the warmth of the late-day sun on the beach, Carina shivered.

***

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Ellie asked before noticing Sarah glance over to where Chuck and Devon were standing. “Oh, I’m sorry, of course. Of course, this must be really hard for you guys.”

“Yeah, yeah, it is.” Sarah confirmed with a resigned nod. _More than you could possibly know._

“I mean, one minute you’re broken up and the next you’re on this incredibly sexy date…” Without intending to, Ellie was making Sarah feel worse.

Across the room, Devon and Chuck were talking as well.

“So what’s the deal with you guys?” Devon asked with a gesture in Sarah’s direction. “I mean not to be crass or anything, but did you and Sarah ever…like…you know?”

“No.” Chuck replied, staring at Sarah.

Devon was surprised at that. “Never?”

“Nope.” _Not for lack of trying. Stupid Morgan and his stupid IOU._

“Huh. I always thought you guys were like a real couple,” Devon said. Without intending to, Devon was making Chuck feel worse. _That’s the problem. We were always_ like _a real couple; we just never_ were _a real couple._ He looked over to where Ellie and Sarah were talking, catching Sarah’s gaze from across the room.

“Sarah, do you still have feelings for my brother?” Ellie asked pointedly.

“No! No, we’re…Chuck and I are just friends,” Sarah dismissed with a wave.

“Sarah, please look at yourself right now! I mean, look at the dress. Look me in the eye and tell me that you guys are just friends.” Ellie wasn’t going to give up. Chuck and Sarah were just too good of a couple to let some silly fight drive them apart.

Sarah looked back over to Chuck.

“Yeah, it’s our job to fool people like you,” Chuck said to Devon.

“Wow. That must be hard. Not just the not-having-sex part – that must be excruciating…” he said as Chuck nodded his acknowledgement, “but having to fake like you’re in love with someone for almost three years, especially someone like her. How do you do it Chuck? How do you not fall for her?”

Chuck took his gaze off his brother-in-law and glanced back at Sarah. _I wish I knew how to not fall for her, Devon. My life would be so much less complicated._

“I don’t think that you understand our situation,” Sarah was saying to Ellie. Of course Ellie didn’t understand the dynamics of a spy couple on the outs, but maybe if she could explain this in normal relationship terms, the doctor would back off. _If only I knew what normal relationship terms actually are._

“I understand completely. I do, you know. You go through hot and cold patches. When Devon and I got married we kinda put the passion on hold, but being here at a place like this brings it all back, you know? It feels like it did in the beginning.”

Sarah considered that. Maybe Ellie was onto something. Maybe she and Chuck just needed to start over and see if they could get back to where they used to be, wherever that was.

***

A week later and Carina was still no closer to any answers. She’d managed to see Chuck just once, and that was for a quick bite after his Buy More shift ended. Chuck had spent the entire time telling her about Sarah’s latest rejection. She was trying to be supportive and encouraging, but a large part of her wanted to confess her own feelings for Chuck which grew stronger every time they talked.

She reclined on her sofa with a book, trying to forget the relationship drama plaguing her life. _Of course,_ she thought with a soft chuckle, _if I wanted to forget relationship drama, reading Virgil probably wasn’t the best choice._ She had just reached Dido’s dramatic suicide after Aeneas’ rejection when there was a pounding on her door. Carina heard a muffled voice frantically calling her name. She ran to the door and checked the peephole. “Ellie? What are you doing here?” she asked after opening the door to let the doctor in.

“Carina!” Ellie shouted as she hysterically hugged the redhead, “Devon’s been kidnapped!”

“What? What happened?” Carina asked, closing the door and guiding Ellie to the couch.

“I – I don’t know! He had a late shift at the hospital last night. He called me to say he only had one more case left before he’d be home. That was over twelve hours ago and I haven’t seen or heard from him since!” Ellie buried her head in her hands and started sobbing.

Carina stood rooted to the floor. “Hang on. Let me make some tea and we’ll talk a little more, ok?”

Ellie nodded without lifting her head, and Carina raced to start the teakettle on the stove. She returned to rub the doctor’s back calmingly. When the kettle whistled, she went back to the kitchen and rummaged through her cabinets. “Is Earl Grey ok?” She heard a muffled acknowledgement from the living room and got two bags out. Carina steeped each of the bags in the steaming water and returned to the living room, setting each mug on the coffee table.

“Ok, start at the beginning. What happened in the week or so before Devon disappeared?” She asked, taking her mug and stirring the tea bag around.

Ellie lifted her head, and after finding her own mug, picked it up and answered, “Well, about a week ago, Devon got paged to the hospital for a special case. He ended up saving the life of the premier of Costa Gravas, and as a thank you, the premier invited all of us,” at Carina’s questioning look Ellie amended, “Chuck, Sarah, Devon and I, to a gala at the embassy,” Carina looked up sharply. Chuck had mentioned something about that embassy dinner. _Maybe Devon’s disappearance is spy-related_ , “It was a wonderful, romantic night, and even Chuck and Sarah looked happier together, you know?” Ellie finished.

Carina winced inwardly at Ellie’s last statement, but shoved her feelings aside to help her newest friend. After the doctor took care of her after her drunken collapse and discovered that she was an agent, Carina made a real effort to get to know Ellie Woodcomb and cultivate a friendship. Carina nodded for Ellie to continue her story.

“Last night, he got called in again to take care of the premier. I guess the guy was having a bad week, but at the end of that shift, someone gave him an extra patient. He called me from the hospital to say he had one more case, but that he’d be home as quickly as he could after that. That was twelve hours ago, Carina! I haven’t seen him since and every time I call him his phone goes to voice mail. I tried the hospital, but they said he went home. I’m so scared!” Ellie’s movements had gotten more erratic as her speech went on.

Carina reached out a soothing hand and patted Ellie’s back. “I’m sure he’s going to be fine, Ellie. Just trust the police to find him.”

Ellie turned desperate eyes on Carina. “The police?! They just said they were looking for him and they’d let me know if they found anything. You’re a federal agent! You must have people you can call, right? Carina, please help me find my husband!”

The pleading tone in her friend’s voice rattled her, so Carina looked Ellie in the eye. “I’ll make some calls and see what I can find, but believe me, you don’t want to be around here for that. Knowing who I’m calling would possibly put you in danger if someone was targeting them. Go home, and try to calm down. If I hear anything I’ll call you first thing, I promise.”

Ellie took in Carina’s earnest expression, and found no trace of deception or dismissal. She believed every word the redhead uttered. “Ok, I’ll go. Thank you so much for helping me with this.” At the door she drew Carina into another bone-crushing hug.

***

As soon as Ellie was out the door, Carina whipped out her phone and called Chuck, but got his voice mail. “Chuck? Hey, it’s Carina. Listen, your sister just showed up at my apartment a hysterical wreck because Devon’s missing. What’s going on? Call me back as soon as you get this message!” She hung up growling. Chuck didn’t often ignore one of her calls, at least since they reconnected. Either he was in a briefing in Castle or he was with Sarah and didn’t want to answer his phone because Carina was calling and he didn’t want to give away that he and Carina were still in contact.

While she waited for Chuck to call back, Carina discreetly put out the word to several of her official – and unofficial – contacts around Los Angeles that she was looking for a missing doctor.

A few hours later, as she sat at her computer looking for missing-persons information, Chuck called her back. “Um, you’re not going to believe this,” he said tentatively when Carina answered her phone. It was the tone of someone about to give very bad news.

“Chuck,” Carina said, drawing the name out to several syllables as she slumped in her chair, “What is it? Is Devon ok?”

“Oh, yeah, Devon’s back safely. He showed up at the Buy More while we were trying to figure out how to look for him. He even learned who kidnapped him….”

Carina sat up sharply. “Well, who did it? Who do we need to go after?”

“Well…” Chuck was in disbelief himself, but after Carina’s numerous failures to capture Sydney Prince in Mexico, learning that the woman who she thought was finally dead was actually alive was going to really ruin her day.

“Spit it out, Bartowski,” Carina growled.

“He said his kidnapper thinks he was a spy because of the way he thwarted the assassination attempt on the premier. They released him, but they’re threatening Ellie’s life if he doesn’t work for them, and to prove it, they’re going to call him back with a task. He said she was a tall woman with long brown hair, a narrow head, and, what was that last thing? Oh, yeah, her name is Sydney.”

Silence greeted his statement. Just as Chuck was about to timidly ask if Carina was still there, she shrieked an obscenity that would have had the nuns at his elementary school reaching for their rulers. He waited.

Carina took a deep, calming breath. “Chuck?” she asked.

“Yes, Carina?” He was terrified.

“Call me the second you know what she wants him to do and where. I’m going to put this undead harpy in the ground _once and for all_!” Carina angrily ended the call.

***

That evening, Carina was pacing her apartment, desperate to burn off some nervous energy. _Sydney Prince is still alive._ The thought was a personal insult after every time she failed to take care of the traitor in Mexico. Fulcrum was destroyed, so Sydney’s current affiliation was a mystery. Maybe some new organization had absorbed all the Fulcrum agents that survived that entity’s demise. _Talk about a hostile takeover._

Just as she was about to change for a trip to the gym to burn the stress off with exercise, her phone rang. She saw Chuck’s smiling face behind the caller ID, which belied the tension of the moment.

“Chuck? What happened? Did Prince make contact?” she asked angrily.

Chuck spoke in a quiet voice in the courtyard, to avoid detection by either the three people getting ready for the operation in Casey’s apartment or his own sister across the way. “Yeah, she just called. It turns out Sydney was…well, promoted I guess would be the best way to put it…into an organization called the Ring. Apparently the Ring was Fulcrum’s parent corporation, so to speak.”

Carina growled at the response. “Ok. What does the Skank Queen want out of Devon?”

“He’s supposed to meet at the Crystal Towers in one hour. Sarah, Casey, and I are going to wait in a parking garage and talk to Devon through our own communications while Sydney uses the Ring phone she sent him to give him orders for some operation.”

Chuck still couldn’t believe what was going on. Devon and Ellie were supposed to be kept away from the spy world, not be drawn in because some lunatic organization bent on world domination thought that _Devon_ was a CIA spy! He was so focused on trying to figure out how he was going to keep Devon safe that he almost missed Carina’s response.

“Good. You three help Devon. I’ll take Sydney down. Stay in the van, Chuck.”

Chuck looked at his phone in surprise after she hung up.

***

Carina lay in wait in the building’s parking garage almost twitching in rage. She spent months in Mexico trying to track and catch this woman who now threatened her only group of friends in the world. The anticipation of a final showdown with Sydney on top of the still-remaining stress of Devon’s kidnapping had the adrenaline coursing through her system. She peeked out from behind a concrete planter at the garage entrance and saw the black van that might as well have had a sign painted on the side reading “CIA,” and sighed. _Come on, guys. At least_ try _to hide!_

Just the she heard the click-clack of high heels approaching. Carina peeked through the foliage and saw Sydney approaching, carrying a leather bag. _Showtime!_ She stepped out from behind the planter with her Glock out and pointed directly at Sydney’s heart and glowered. “Lazarus! Oh, sorry, wrong person. How’s the afterlife, you Fulcrum traitor?”

Prince stopped in surprise. “Hi Carina. I didn’t recognize you not tied to a chair.”

Carina growled. “Are we going to chat or are you going to just drop the bag and let me arrest you?”

The brunette actually laughed. “Arrest me? Do you have any idea what you would call down on that empty little head if you arrested me?”

Carina’s glare intensified. “Nothing I can’t handle. Now, drop the bag like a good little girl and lay on the concrete. You’re familiar with laying down, right?”

Prince lost her smirk. “You of all people have no right to judge me. No, I’m not going to lie down, but handle this!” With the last word, she flung the bag directly at Carina’s head, causing the agent to duck. Prince used the opening to lunge at Carina, knocking the gun out of her hand and tackling her to the concrete floor.

The two agents got to their feet and started brawling. _Why aren’t Chuck, Sarah, or Casey coming out of the van and helping?_ Carina wondered. The fight was intense, but it was clear who had the upper hand. Carina’s emotions had totally taken control while Sydney had her calm, collected mission face on. It was no contest.

Sydney landed one particularly solid kick on Carina’s knee that snapped the joint painfully. As Carina grabbed her knee and shouted in pain, Prince landed a series of devastating blows that split Carina’s lip, bloodied her nose, and one in particular that would leave a nasty black eye, Carina lay moaning and rolling on the pavement.

“You’re lucky I’m in a hurry, otherwise I’d have plenty of time to torture and kill you.” Prince growled as she caught her breath.

“Listening to you gloat is torture enough, trust me,” Carina spat out while literally spitting some blood from her lip out onto the concrete.

Prince looked around. “I’d love to stay, really I would, but I’ll have to settle for this instead,” and she viciously kicked Carina’s face, knocking her unconscious. She straightened her jacket, picked up her bag, and strolled into the building as if nothing happened.

***

Carina woke up a few minutes after Chuck, Sarah, Casey, and Devon got out of the office. She dragged herself to her car and drove cautiously back to her apartment. She needed some medical attention in a hurry, but after her encounter with the Fulcrum-turned-Ring agent, there was only one doctor in the Los Angeles area she could trust. When she got home, she picked up her phone and called Ellie Woodcomb.

Luckily, she was off-duty, so she agreed to hurry over to help. Carina left the door unlocked, as once she was down on the couch, she had no intention of moving.

Ellie opened the door a short while later to find Carina rubbing her knee. “Carina! You’re lucky I wasn’t working,” she said before seeing the physical damage to her new friend, “Oh my gosh! What happened to you?”

Carina grimaced in pain. “It’s a long story.”

Ellie sat down on the coffee table with her medical bag next to her. “Well, it looks like I have the time to listen while I patch you up. Talk to me.”

Carina knew Ellie wasn’t going to give up; her tone spoke of the determination that Carina was coming to understand was a Bartowski family trait. “Ok, well I tracked down Devon’s kidnapper,” she paused as Ellie gasped, “yeah, this is from confronting the woman.”

Ellie stopped her. “Woman? Devon was kidnapped by a woman? You’re sure it wasn’t voluntary?” She still had trouble dealing with the memory of Devon’s bachelor party.

“Trust me, Ellie. There was nothing voluntary about it. Devon was in a lot of danger,” Carina sighed, dreading the coming revelation, “Unfortunately, he still is. She got away.”

Ellie pulled back after placing a butterfly bandage on a cut on Carina’s forehead. “She got away? What do you mean?”

Carina couldn’t look Ellie in the eye. “I was too emotional. She got the better of me because I wasn’t calm enough to just focus on the fight. I was too wound up from the threat to your whole family. I’m sorry, Ellie.”

Ellie started checking out Carina’s knee, prodding gently after a painful gasp from the redhead. “It’s not your fault. You were worried about us, and I should be thanking you anyway for putting yourself in danger to find this woman. Anyway, I don’t think there’s any permanent damage to your knee. It feels like a sprain. What happened?”

Carina grimaced. “The bitch got in a lucky kick. I promise you, Ellie. I’m going to find her again and deal with her. I won’t let her threaten Devon, you, or Chuck anymore.”

The intensity of Carina’s voice gave Ellie pause. “Chuck? Why would she threaten Chuck?” she looked Carina directly in the eyes.

“Well, uh, because Chuck’s your brother and she might be able to use him to get to Devon again?” Carina tried to cover her slip. The emotions of the night along with the stress bleed-off dropped her guard.

Ellie looked her in the eye, “Uh-uh, you can’t distract me. The tone in your voice when you said my brother’s name was so intense…Carina? Do you have feelings for my brother?”

Carina looked back at her friend wordlessly.

***

Carina was limping to the kitchen for another tea bag when Chuck called from the Nerd Herd desk.

“Carina! You need to get down to the Buy More! Sydney is on her way here and I really need some help.”

She dropped her mug. “What? She’s coming to the Buy More? Why?”

“Well I’m sort of using myself as bait, only our new team leader won’t let Sarah or Casey help me. He said I have to get myself out of the mess I started for myself.” He still couldn’t believe his new boss – the douche bag Shaw – was hanging him out to dry. _“This is not how I do business. You start things on your own, you better be prepared to finish them on your own. Good luck.”_

Carina could hear the tremor in his voice. “Oh, Chuck. We need to have a long talk – again – about the way you handle these things,” Carina gently reprimanded as she picked the mug up and started collecting her knives and pistol.

“I know. I know we do, but right now, I just need your help. Please. Please just come to the Buy More and help me deal with this woman, then we’ll go out for sizzling shrimp and have our talk,” Chuck pleaded.

She rolled her eyes. “Ok, ok, you twisted my arm. I’ll tear myself away from my book to come put an end to the woman I hunted across Mexico and who is now threatening your entire family.”

Chuck laughed nervously. “Thank you! Meet me behind the…”

Carina heard the pause in his voice. “Chuck?”

Chuck spoke again, but it wasn’t to her. “Hi, Sydney.”

***

Carina took up a position in the shadows just behind the Buy More. Chuck said to meet her behind something which she assumed was the store, so she set her trap here with a clean view of the back. She didn’t have long to wait. Presently Sydney came running out, but just as Carina was about to take the shot, Chuck popped out after her.

“Stop! Don’t move!” Chuck shouted.

“Or what? Huh?” Prince challenged.

“Please just do what I say.” _Oh, Chuck. You never beg someone you’re pointing a gun at if you want them to believe you’ll actually use it._

“Spies don’t say please. Now Devon, he would have had a bullet between my eyes by now.”

“Alright fine, your choice: live or die.”

“That’s better,” Sydney whispered as she reached behind her back for something small, black and round.

“What are you doing? Do not do that! Do NOT do that!”

“It’s just the phone. You do want it, don’t you? Or if you can’t think of a use for it, I’m sure I can,” Carina saw Prince reach for something else and then saw the flash of a knife she drew from behind her back, “I can ,make a phone call and have fifty operatives here.”

“Don’t make me shoot you,” Chuck pleaded again. Carina saw Prince get the knife in the right position to throw it.

“I don’t think you can,” Prince said sardonically.

Just then Sarah called for Chuck from the store. Chuck turned at the distraction and Carina almost shouted in dismay.

Prince made her move, but as soon as the knife was up, Carina fired a single shot straight through her heart. It was over. Sydney Prince was finally dead for good. “I always keep my promises, you bitch,” Carina whispered with a smirk.

Just as Carina moved to leave, there was a commotion from the side of the store. A dark-haired man in a white shirt with black pants stumbled from in between two Nerd Herders, dropped his own gun and cursed before clumsily picking it up, his movements oddly reminiscent of a wooden puppet. Carina ducked back into the shadows to evaluate the new threat.

The man turned to Chuck and said arrogantly, “Like I said, I hate guns, but it pays to know how to use one.”

Carina rolled her eyes and slipped into the night to call Ellie and tell her the threat was no more.

Just as Chuck turned to go back into the store, he was positive he saw a flash of red swirling in the night, but when he concentrated, there was nothing there.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chuck goes to Paris, finds an unexpected flying partner, and Ellie learns more about his life.

**Chapter 17**

_Developing an asset is very tricky business. You need to insinuate yourself into their life and have them trust you completely knowing that one day you're probably going to have to burn them._

***

Carina got out of the shower and noticed the blinking red light on her phone indicating a missed call. “Great,” she muttered to herself. “Probably Chuck wanting to tell me he and Sarah kissed and made up,” she growled.

It _was_ Chuck, but it wasn’t the message she expected. She dropped the phone and ran over to her computer, her towel flying off unheeded along the way.

***

_‘You’re going on your first solo mission, under cover, in Paris. Are you ready?”_

The bravado with which he answered Shaw’s question about being ready for his first solo mission dissipated quickly. Chuck slumped in his first-class aisle seat, at a loss as to how to handle whatever was going to wait for him in Paris. Every time he thought he had a grasp on what his role in the spy world was, it changed on him. First he was an asset, then he was going to be an agent but failed training, then Sarah and Casey were supposed to train him to be an agent, but that didn’t go very well either. Finally, they got a new boss who seemed to believe that he could handle a mission on his own.

He thought back to Sarah’s reluctance to believe he could handle the mission. The fear in her eyes cut him deep, but it also introduced the self-doubt he was dealing with now. If Sarah really didn’t believe in him, who would? He had never worked directly on a mission with Carina except for the diamond and briefcase missions, and in both of those he was a passive observer. He was always able to flash when his relationship with Sarah was solid, but she didn’t think he was ready for this mission. _What if I’m not ready to be a real spy?_

***

Just as Chuck was about to get out of his seat and get off the plane, he heard a familiar voice over his shoulder.

“Hi, there, stranger. You going to Paris, too?”

He glanced back incredulously, but he wasn’t mistaken. Carina stood in the aisle behind his seat, one hand on the seat back and one on her hip. As always, Chuck was struck by her simple beauty. Even with the smart business suit she wore – a grey jacket over a medium-length grey skirt that hugged her assets very tightly, with a royal blue blouse underneath – he never got the impression that she put a lot of work into her appearance. Whenever he saw her, somehow he always saw the girl underneath the spy first.

She slipped in front of him to her window seat, much closer than necessary, taking the opportunity to let him stare at her rear end before sliding into the spacious first-class seat. She braced her head on one hand and cocked an eyebrow mischievously.

“Carina! What are you doing here?” Chuck whispered.

“Well, it took a little work, but I was able to bump some skank named Hannah back to coach, so I bought a ticket, checked a bag, and now I’m sitting in my assigned seat, with my seat back in its full, upright position and my tray locked for takeoff,” she grinned as Chuck sputtered.

“I know that, but what are you doing _here_? Why are you going to Paris?” Chuck asked.

Carina saw that he was getting rattled, so she gently took his hand. “I got your message. While I’m really happy for you to have your first solo mission, you mentioned that your tool of a boss – what was his name by the way? Shaw? Shawn? – assigned you this job over Sarah and Casey’s objections.”

“Yeah, he did, and he made a lot of sense too. I _am_ ready for this,” he emphasized his point with a firm hand gesture.

“I’m sure you’re ready for a mission by yourself,” she soothed, “but why not start with an easy one in a country you’re familiar with? Why send you to France, where you don’t speak the language and you don’t know anyone? Why risk putting you in touch with CIA contacts who may or may not be Ring traitors?”

Chuck sighed and pursed his lips. “Ok, those are all valid points but it still doesn’t explain why you’re following me to Paris.”

“Simple, silly. I’m going along to do some shopping, and I’m taking you with me. If we happen to stumble on your mission objectives, then we can deal with them together. I’m just here to help you, Chuck. Take your first solo mission back in the States. Trust me, I believe in you. I know you’re ready, but everyone crawls before they walk,” she punctuated with a reassuring squeeze of his hand, and he saw the sincerity in her eyes. She really did believe in him. The worry that had festered in his gut since Sarah tried hard to get his solo mission cancelled because she didn’t think he was ready began to dissipate. He could be a spy; Carina had faith in him.

***

Sarah was frantically pacing around Castle. The only thing stopping her from beating the stuffing out of the heavy bag was the thought that Chuck might call at any time needing her help. They might still be rebuilding their personal friendship, but she wasn’t ready for her asset to be out on his own yet. She’d spent more than two years losing sleep over his safety, and until he had total control of the new skills in the Intersect at will, she would continue to worry about him.

She really needed to talk to Shaw about the changes he was wreaking to the team’s dynamic. They had barely started working together again after being disbanded following the original Intersect’s removal, but when Chuck failed out of spy school – and abandoned her – in Prague, they started shutting down the team and the base again. Now they were back – again – and they had to learn how to work together as a team of three partners, not as a team of two agents protecting one asset.

Now, for some reason, Shaw was throwing everything out of whack, overriding the two agents who knew Chuck better than anyone else and sending him into harm’s way with just his own skills. _There is no way this can end well._

***

Carina took the flute of champagne Chuck handed over and asked, “So, what do you think of our fellow passengers here in first class?”

As Chuck looked around she started identifying their neighbors, “I’m thinking Syrian dignitaries over there,” she indicated the two men with a nod of her head in their direction, “a couple of nuclear physicists; that bunch, I don’t know about them.”

“That bunch over there?” Chuck said, glancing where Carina indicated.

“Uh-huh,” Carina nodded.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go with Yale fencing team, without a doubt.”

“Good call!” Carina said appreciatively before clinking his glass in salute.

***

After takeoff, he and Carina were at the cabin’s bar – something he still had yet to wrap his mind around. First-class on an airplane came with its own bar! Chuck had his sleeves rolled up and was relaxing as the flight kept going. _The champagne and martini probably helps that,_ he reflected.

“A martini, shaken not stirred, Chuck?” Carina said with a small laugh, “You really watch too many movies.”

He looked down at the glass with a chuckle. “I know, but I’ve always wanted to order one, you know? I just wanted to see what it would taste like.”

Carina paused before asking her next question. “So how are things going with Sarah? Have you made any headway into rekindling your romance-that-never-was?”

Chuck met her eyes before looking back into his glass, as if the vodka held an answer. “Not yet, no. I think she’s still really hurt about Prague. I want to try to apologize and make things right, but she won’t even give me the chance. When I got this mission, she fought it hard, even telling Shaw with me in the room that she didn’t think I was ready for this.”

She looked sympathetically at him, weighing what to say next. Her heart wanted her to point out Sarah’s lack of faith, but her loyalty to both of her friends won out. “I’m sure she thinks you can handle it; it’s just hard for her to see you leave the nest, so to speak, after two years protecting you.”

Chuck nodded, “Thanks, Carina. I just wish I had a handle on this life. Just when I thought I had my role figured out, Shaw showed up and started changing everything on us, you know?”

Carina nodded. “Yeah, that’s how it sounded. Did I tell you the night I finally got Sydney he ran out of the shadows behind the Buy More and dropped his gun before standing up and saying that he hated guns but it paid to know how to use one?”

He stared at her, trying to see if she was kidding, but when he saw that Carina’s smile went all the way to her eyes, he burst out laughing. “Wow. That does _not_ inspire any faith in my new boss. And he sent me to Paris on my first mission alone. This just gets better and better.”

She put her hand on his forearm. “Don’t worry,” she said reassuringly, “That’s why I tagged along. I don’t have any faith in him either.”

Chuck smiled and got quiet. Carina, looking around for something to change the subject, decided to lighten the mood, “Chuck, what do we think of Mister Muscles over there?”

“Mister Muscles? Let me take a gander,” Chuck replied as he turned to look.

“I’m thinking professional wrestler maybe,” Carina said before noticing Chuck start to shake, “Chuck? What’s wrong?”

He turned back with a nervous look and said, “Oh, no no no, that’s no wrestler. That’s Hugo Panzer, Ring operative. Hang on, Carina. I need to go call Shaw and find out what the hell is going on.”

Carina nodded and replied, “Scoot! I’ll keep an eye on him and see if he talks to anyone in particular.”

Chuck smiled his thanks and ran off to the bathroom. Carina sipped her champagne, watching Panzer out of the corner of her eye, but he never talked to another passenger.

After a few minutes, Chuck came back looking more flustered than he was before he left. “So, uh, yeah. Apparently the mission isn’t in Paris. It’s on the plane. Old boy Hugo over there is carrying my objective. I’m supposed to somehow get his claim ticket and find his bag down in the cargo hold.”

Carina stared at the bald man before looking back to Chuck in surprise.

***

They left the bar and walked casually back to their seats. Once they were seated again, Carina leaned over and whispered, “Did your jackass of a boss at least give you any special equipment? Anything that might give you a clue how to handle that tank of a man?”

Chuck thought back to the talk with Shaw and Sarah in Castle. “Yes! He gave me this pen,” he said, fishing it out of his shirt pocket, “that has a highly potent tranquilizer.”

Carina thought for a moment. “I have an idea, but this is your mission. How do you think you can use the pen?”

Glancing back at the giant man, it hit him. “I can go over there, introduce myself, and while he’s not looking, squirt the tranquilizer in his drink, then take his baggage ticket and somehow find his bag down in the cargo hold.”

She stared at him. “That sounds crazy,” Carina said with a shake of her head, “but it might be crazy enough to work. Ok, go for it. I’ll go back to the bar and keep watch in case you need backup. I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend Missy if I need to rescue you.”

He nodded. “Let’s do this.”

***

It was a struggle, but he eventually tranquilized the large man and got the ticket. Carina had to fight her urges to swoop in and help him out, but she reminded herself that this was Chuck’s mission, and she was essentially playing the role of field instructor.

She followed Chuck down to the cargo hold. After the door closed behind them, each started shivering. “It is friggin’ freezing in here,” Chuck said.

“Yeah, I wish any of us knew this was going to be the plan. I would have worn something warmer than a skirt,” Carina agreed.

After looking at the claim number, they separated in their search for the bag. After a frustrating process of checking every claim ticket, Chuck found the casket with the ticket. He popped the lid open and while he searched for the box, the elevator clicked open. Somehow, Panzer overcame the drugs and came down.

Carina ducked behind a stack of bags, tracking the large man’s progress. As he looked down the gap in between each pallet, she moved around the previous one in the shadows. When Panzer got too close, Chuck ducked into the casket. _Not there Chuck!_ Carina mentally shouted. The casket was the first place Panzer was going to check. She groaned internally as she watched the ensuing scuffle, trying to decide if and when to intervene.

Sighing to herself, she rationalized that even the best spies had partners from time to time, and getting Chuck killed wouldn’t make him any better of a spy. She took a small Taser out of the heel of her shoe, and moved as quietly as possible into a position to incapacitate the big Ring agent.

She was about to step in after hearing Panzer mention his magic watch when Chuck ran over to the Yale fencing team’s luggage – _good thinking on that one, Chuck –_ and took out a blade. “They really are a fencing team,” he said in surprise.

Carina looked over and saw Panzer about to strike with a blade of his own. She lifted her Taser when Chuck looked down at the blade, muttered something about… _why is he talking about the Intersect?_ – and appeared to shake again, but when it stopped, he turned around confidently and declared, “ _En garde_.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Carina whispered to herself as Chuck and Panzer started a sword fight that was straight out of a movie. _When did Chuck learn how to fence so well? Does the Intersect have more than just information? Is that even possible?_ Eventually, Chuck was able to disarm the big man and slice the netting so he was knocked out by the falling baggage. He looked over at Carina and grinned in triumph before calling in to Sarah and Shaw, saying that his first solo mission was a success.

Carina smiled back and then helped him secure Panzer with as much cord as they could find.

***

They were back at the plane’s bar where Chuck was finishing a story about the elevator inside the Eiffel Tower being the most impressive engineering feat. Carina smiled inwardly. _He’s so cute when he’s explaining something he knows well. No wonder Sarah fell for him. I don’t even care about mechanical engineering and I could listen to him talk about elevators for hours if he stayed this excited._

“…and with that I realize I’m the most boring person in the world,” he said as he flushed with embarrassment

“No, no, that was an amazing story, and I really like your model,” she said with a genuine smile.

“Thanks, it was a gift from my dad,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

“Have you ever been to Paris, Chuck?” she asked

“Of course,” he tried to maintain his air of mysteriousness, but then gave up under her piercing gaze and looked down at his drink embarrassed for a different reason this time, “No, I haven’t.”

“You talked about it with such wonder, like someone who’s always wanted to go. No one I know ever wants to do anything that badly. You’re different; you stand out.” She put her hand on his arm and squeezed to emphasize her point. The tone in her voice told him just how much she appreciated him.

“Thank you,” he said softly, “I know this spy world stuff is all kind of new to me. I just wanted to fit in, you know?”

She looked surprised at what he said. “Why? Why would you want to fit in with the jaded agents? You love life, you love your family and friends, and you see the beauty in the world. Why would you want to hide that?”

The intensity in her voice, coupled with the steady gazed that never left his persuaded him to open up even more to her.

“I don’t know. I thought that if I could be a real spy, Sarah would respect me again, and maybe we could have a chance to rebuild what we started to have before Prague…this is Shaw’s ticket; I’m just along for the ride. I don’t really belong in Paris, or first class for that matter.”

“That’s not true,” she said leaning back slightly, “do you want to know why?”

“Sure,” he said, looking into her eyes in hopes of finding affirmation and hope.

“Because you’re a first-class human being, Chuck. Don’t let the cynical spies like Shaw and Sarah or the burnouts like Casey turn you into one of them. You’re too good for that. Why do you think I’m here on this plane,” she gestured around the cabin, “with you instead of lying on a beach somewhere?”

He looked puzzled. “I’ve been trying to figure that out myself, actually.”

She leaned forward again and took his hand. “Because you’re worth it.”

***

Chuck and Carina were in their seats once more, enjoying another drink and letting the post-mission stress bleed off. Carina seemed agitated; whenever Chuck looked over, she was bouncing her knee or looking around the cabin. He attributed her behavior to lingering stress from the encounter with Panzer, but just as he was about to take a sip of a martini he couldn’t honestly remember ordering, Carina steered the conversation back to her fears.

“Do you love her?” she asked without preamble.

He almost dropped his glass. “Wha – what?”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you love Sarah?”

Chuck stammered as he searched for an answer, “I – I think – that is to say, I believe I do, why?”

Carina looked at his face and saw that he didn’t really know the answer. “What is love, Chuck? What do you feel when you say that you love someone in a romantic sense?” she asked.

His eyebrows bunched together as he thought. “Well, I guess love is that rush you get when you see that special someone. When your stomach jumps at their sight, when you feel giddy at their smile, and when you feel depressed when you can’t be with them, those are all love.”

To his dismay, she quirked a smile before laughing softly. “Chuck that’s not love, that’s infatuation. What you just described is chemistry, and not in the dating sense of ‘oh we had good chemistry last night; we really clicked’ kind of chemistry. It’s a mix of hormones in your brain that cause that reaction.”

“Ok, then,” he said in a quiet voice, “Well, don’t you ever get that rush and just think that you’re meant to be with someone?”

At least she didn’t laugh this time. Carina held his gaze for a minute before answering, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings or stomp on your hopes, so I don’t think you want me to answer that question.”

“No, I really do, especially after that comment.”

She sighed. “Ok, well, the whole idea of destiny, meant-to-be…it’s just a load of crap. Meant-to-be is just an excuse people use when they don’t want to face uncomfortable questions about their lives. Think about it. Would you rather be the driving force behind your own life, or would you rather believe some all-powerful force controls your actions?”

Chuck paused thoughtfully. “What is love to you, Carina?”

She leaned back a moment and organized her thoughts. “Love starts with the chemistry you were talking about, but that’s not love itself. Love is a choice. What is the one thing that makes humans unique among all other animals in the world?”

Chuck thought for a minute before shaking his head, “I don’t know what you’re driving at.”

Carina smiled. “Free will. We can choose any path. We can even choose to take our own lives. Free will is the greatest gift we were given. Love means realizing that, and choosing to surrender that will completely to another person you think is worth that sacrifice. When you choose to marry someone, you promise to give everything about yourself unreservedly to that one special other person. That means _everything_ , even your free will. You trust someone else so much that you’re willing to surrender that greatest gift to them. Recognizing that someone is worthy of that gift is true love.”

Chuck furrowed his brows as a pensive sheen came over his face, “That’s a pretty deep thought.”

She smiled. “Double minor in philosophy and theology at Notre Dame. It had better be deep or a couple professors are going to come after me.”

He chuckled quietly and took a drink from a martini glass at his elbow. His face soured almost immediately.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Carina asked.

“Tha-that drink,” Chuck stammered, “I don’t remember ordering it. It just kind of appeared out of nowhere.”

“And you drank it?” Carina questioned with an uplifted eyebrow.

Chuck sat back against his seat. “Are you ok?” Carina asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. It just tasted a little funny,” Chuck said, looking around the cabin. He froze when Panzer leaned forward in his seat and saluted with his own glass.

Carina looked on in wordless surprise as Chuck got out of his seat and ran back to the restroom to call Castle for instructions. After a couple minutes, Carina noticed a flight attendant walk down the aisle, ignoring several passengers who tried to get her attention. That sent Carina’s nerves on edge. Flight attendants never ignored passengers completely, especially in first class. The woman forced the door to the restroom open, and in the cabin’s dim lighting, Carina saw the flash of a pistol reflect the bathroom light.

She was about to get up when the flight attendant led Chuck to the cargo hold again, followed shortly by Panzer. “Unbelievable,” Carina muttered as she reached into her carry-on for a plastic tranquilizer pistol and her Taser. Slipping each into a pocket in her jacket, she silently ghosted down the aisle and joined the party in the cargo hold.

As the elevator dinged open, Chuck was in a lot of trouble. Panzer just nailed Chuck in the gut with a devastating blow while the flight attendant covered him with a tiny popgun. They were currently in a tense standoff over the phone with Shaw, who was bargaining with Chuck’s life.

Carina was tired of waiting for that incompetent prick Shaw to step in, and Chuck was losing time against the poison. She walked on the balls of her feet down the aisle of pallets and took a position behind one directly next to Chuck. From here, she could cover both Ring operatives without being seen.

“I can’t. You know my employer. Your agent is alone and he’s going to die,” the Ring flight attendant declared as she stormed back to Chuck, cocking her pistol.

_Time’s up, Shaw._ Carina leaned to her left with the tranquilizer gun and shot the gorilla five times to be on the safe side. As he slumped to the floor, the flight attendant glanced around wildly for the new threat. Her eyes locked on Carina just as she pressed the Taser’s trigger. A hundred thousand volts shot through the woman, paralyzing her instantly. Her nerveless fingers dropped the tiny pistol and antidote as she fell to the floor of the cargo hold. Carina ran forward and kicked the gun away, before grabbing the antidote bottle and handing it to Chuck.

“Drink it!” she mouthed, since the phone line was still open.

He hurriedly complied as Shaw shouted through the phone, “Bartowski! Chuck what’s going on? Did you flash?”

Carina looked on wonderingly as Chuck collected himself and said, “Yeah, Shaw, I flashed and I took both of them out. This time I’m going to tie them to the plane itself!”

Chuck and Carina tied up the unconscious agents – Carina having given the flight attendant a vicious kick to the face for the poisoning – and after Chuck took a deep breath, he turned to see the question written across Carina’s face. “Can we just go back for the rest of the flight?”

She shook her head. “Oh no, you never told me about your flashes.” Chuck hung his head in defeat and followed her out of the cargo hold.

Once back in their seats, Carina turned to him with an expression that brooked no evasion.

“Ok, yes, that was a flash,” Chuck said quietly.

“I thought when you got data from the…computer…that it was just information,” she responded pensively.

“Well, most of them are, but…you know my sister’s wedding before the disaster in Prague, right?”

She nodded.

“Well, before the wedding, at Black Rock, my dad – who designed the original computer – took my version out. At the wedding itself, I was out of government service. When my dad came over while we were talking, Bryce was supposed to be uploading the new version. Bryce was killed that night, but before I destroyed the computer for him, I uploaded it myself. They sent me to Prague for training, but…”

Carina interrupted him, “The new version? What new version?”

He smiled, “The new version is way more than just data. It’s muscle memory and skills too. The fighting that you just saw down there was from the computer.”

Carina realized something and looked at him again, “You said you weren’t able to flash before because of Sarah, but you flashed on the giant and then the fighting skills. What changed?”

Chuck stared at her, unable to answer her question.

***

“How are you feeling?” Carina asked Chuck as the plane was landing.

“Uh, much better, thanks.” He answered as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Good,” she smiled, “Now, are you going to enjoy Paris for a few days with me before we have to get back? I really want to show the Eiffel Tower to you.”

“Absolutely,” he smiled with a nod for emphasis, “That would be amazing.” Just then his phone rang.

Carina packed her carry-on as Chuck took the call. She stood up and looked at him expectantly. When he hung up the phone with a disappointed frown, she looked at him and asked, “What is it?”

“That was Shaw. I have to get back to LA immediately. Paris has been canceled, so Shaw needs me back immediately. I have to stay on the plane.”

“What about Paris?” Carina asked.

“Do-don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal. I’ll get back here eventually. I hope.”

“Well, I’ll try and enjoy it twice as much for you, although now I won’t feel guilty about going shopping up and down the Champs Élysée all day.” Carina smiled.

Chuck stood and gave Carina a big hug. “Thank you for saving my life. I owe you again.”

She laughed. “Please. All you owe me is a diamond. When it comes to lives, I’m still in the hole for Mexico. See you back in LA in a few days, Chuck.”

They shared a brief wave as she left the plane.

***

Chuck barely left his seat on the flight back, puzzling over Carina’s speech on love. _Do I love Sarah that way? Do I trust her enough to surrender my free will? I think what happened during this mission means I don’t. She didn’t want me to go to Paris for my first solo mission, but I ignored her and listened to Shaw. What does that mean about her? She’s never opened up that much to me. Does she trust me? Probably not, especially after Prague. Does that mean we don’t love each other? Can we learn to? What about Carina? I couldn’t flash with Sarah, so why could I flash when I was with her?_

***

Late in the day that Carina got back from Paris, Ellie called her.

“Hey Carina! I haven’t heard from you in a while. Listen, Devon’s pulling a double shift, but I got called off, so I have a whole day to myself. I was thinking if you’re not busy, we could go for a spa day. We could get massages, mani/pedi’s, the works. What do you think?”

Carina stopped to consider the idea. Chuck, Sarah, and Casey were all out of town. Chuck had been so busy since Paris, trying to ingratiate himself with the douchebag Shaw that they barely had time for a phone call here and there. The day before, he’d left her a text message letting her know that he, Sarah, and Casey were off to Dubai for WeapCon for a few days. Carina was just as bored as Ellie.

“Sure, Ellie. That sounds fantastic.”

“Oh, great! This is going to be so much fun!” the brunette doctor gushed. She ended the call by telling Carina where to meet her the next day.

***

When Carina met her at the spa, Ellie was practically vibrating with excitement. “It’s been so long since I’ve done anything like this! This is going to be awesome!” She unconsciously echoed her husband’s favorite phrase.

Carina grinned. She needed some pampering too. The mission on the plane to Paris had taken a lot out of her, and for once shopping on one of the most expensive boulevards in the world didn’t relax her.

Their first stop was the massage table. Ellie wasted no time in jumping into her real reason for asking Carina to this day. “So Carina, have you made any more decisions about if you’re going to try to get Chuck’s attention away from Sarah?”

Carina would have done a double-take if the masseuse’s fingers weren’t skillfully working the kinks out of her lower back. “Sort of, but not really. I think he’s still in love with Sarah, and I don’t know if I want to get in the way of that, you know what I mean?”

Ellie smiled from the table. “Yeah. Do you think she loves him back?”

Carina groaned as the masseuse hit a particularly sensitive spot. Ellie was rapidly becoming a wonderful friend, and she didn’t have it in her any more to lie to her. “Ellie, can I be honest?”

The brunette frowned as she considered the question. “Have you been lying to me?”

Carina took a deep breath. “Only by omission. I’ve actually known Sarah for a very long time, much longer than Chuck, actually.”

Ellie gasped. “Are you serious? Is Sarah a – well, does she have a job like yours?”

Carina hesitated as she considered the best way to phrase her answer. Ellie caught her pause and was about to say something when Carina looked at her friend and implored, “Can we talk about this more later on, in private?”

Ellie’s eyes got wide, but she nodded, which sent the masseuses winking and smiling at each other, thinking the redhead just confirmed she was a hooker.

Carina noticed and snapped, “Hey! Sven and Lars! We’re not paying a hundred bucks an hour for you to play patty-cake with each other!”

For the rest of the spa trip, Ellie was uncharacteristically silent as she considered the implications of what the redhead had told her. For her part, Carina tried to figure out a way to tell Ellie the truth without giving too much away.

***

They went back to Ellie’s apartment after the spa to share a bottle of wine or two and have a talk. As Ellie uncorked the first bottle, Carina settled in and finally figured out what she was going to say. She fixed the brunette doctor with a firm stare and said, “Ellie, for me to tell you any of this, you have to promise me on whatever you hold most sacred that it will never leave this room. It’s that serious.”

Ellie’s eyes got wide, but she nodded. “Ok, I promise you, this will stay just between us.”

“To answer your question from earlier, yes, Sarah works for the government. She doesn’t work for the DEA like I do; she works for a different _agency_ ,” the emphasis Carina put on the word ‘agency’ left no doubt in Ellie’s mind which organization Sarah called her employer.

Ellie sat on the couch, folding one leg under her and considered her next question. “Why is she here? Does it have something to do with my brother?”

Carina swirled her wine around the glass as she crafted her response. “I can’t tell you a lot about that, mostly because I don’t even know the whole story. Please listen to me on this. Chuck cannot know that you know about his other job. You deserve to know, but if he learns I told you, he’ll get really upset with me. He and Sarah,” Carina saw no reason to out Casey as well, “have worked hard to keep that life a secret because they’re worried you might be put in danger if you knew.”

Ellie looked down at the coffee table. “It all makes sense now. The reason their situation was so complicated, the missed holidays, the bumps and scrapes the two of them always seemed to have…”

She trailed off as the implications hit her, “Oh my God! My sweet little brother who wore Star Wars underpants outside his clothes one Halloween and said he was Luke Skywalker is a spy!” She was visibly shaking by the end of her exclamation.

Rushing forward, Carina took Ellie’s hands and began massaging her wrists to try to get her to calm down. “Ellie! Take a breath and relax. It’s not that bad!”

The effort didn’t work. “Not that bad? He was _shot_ , Carina! What if he ever had to shoot anyone? _HAS_ he ever had to shoot anyone?”

Carina blinked at the intensity of her friend’s emotion, “as far as I know, Chuck’s only ever used a tranquilizer gun.”

Ellie nodded and then looked down at her hands before asking her next question, “And what about you, Carina? Have you ever killed anyone? Is one of my best friends a killer?”

The redhead paused, trying to figure out how to explain this to Ellie. Eventually she sighed and decided to just be blunt, “Yes. I have killed people, but I’m not a killer.”

Eyes widening, Ellie looked at her friend, “Um, you want to explain that? Because I’m having a hard time trying to figure out how someone who has killed other people isn’t a killer.”

Carina’s nostrils flared. She had to rein in her temper at the accusation in Ellie’s tone. Being accused of being a killer struck at her core beliefs, and she needed her friend to understand the differences. When she spoke, it was in a quiet tone that sounded to Ellie like granite wrapped in silk, so firm was its undertone, “Killers are people who take other human lives for fun, or just because they can. Killers are people who threaten the innocent to gain something for themselves. Those are the people I’ve had to kill. Never for fun, and never an innocent, Ellie. I need you to understand that. I have never taken an innocent life.”

During the speech, Ellie unwaveringly held Carina’s eyes. She saw the blue turn from flinty frost to flashing fire. At that moment, she would have sworn in court that Carina was telling the truth. She let out a wavering breath. “I’m sorry, Carina. I didn’t mean to accuse you of being a killer. I’m still worried about Chuck, though. I have to talk to him. I have to get him out of this life!”

“Why?” Carina asked calmly, desperately reigning in her own feelings so as to not upset Ellie any further.

“Why? Why am I going to make my brother give up such a dangerous life so he can have a normal relationship with normal non-spy friends – no offense – where his biggest danger is crossing the street?”

“Yeah, why are you going to do that?” Carina pressed earnestly, ignoring the slight on her profession. She let go of Ellie’s hands and started pacing, thinking of anything that would get the doctor to understand.

“Because it’s dangerous, and it’s my job to protect him, that’s why!” Ellie’s eyes flashed angrily.

“Would you be doing this if he enlisted in the military?” Carina tried a different tack to get her friend to see things differently.

Ellie hesitated. “No, but that’s different!”

“Why? Why would the danger be different if he was in the military?” Carina had her now.

“Because he’d be trained and…”

Carina stopped pacing, leaned over, and looked Ellie directly in the eyes, “Do you honestly think he would be allowed to be an agent of the United States Government without training, Ellie?”

The brunette knew she was caught. She looked down at her hands before answering in a small voice, “I guess not.”

Taking pity on her friend, Carina sat next to her and rubbed her shoulders soothingly, “You’re a doctor, which is important work, right? You save lives every day?”

Ellie nodded wordlessly.

“You save one patient at a time, mostly, right?”

Ellie nodded again.

Carina shook Ellie’s shoulders softly, forcing her friend to look at her as she spoke next, “I have personally seen Chuck save more than three hundred people at one time, Ellie. I’ve known about other things he’s done that have saved the lives of hundreds or even thousands more. That’s how important this is.”

Tears started to flow down Ellie’s face as she looked at the earnestness in Carina’s light blue eyes. “He’s really that good?”

_I knew you’d come around,_ Carina thought as she saw a small smile form. “When he believes in himself, there isn’t anyone better. There are a lot of people alive today who owe him that life and don’t even know it.”

Ellie looked at her friend again. “What about Sarah?”

Carina paused, trying to figure out how to phrase her answer in such a way that wouldn’t tell Ellie too much about Sarah, “She was sent out here when Chuck started working for the government because someone thought they would work well together.”

Ellie gasped softly, looking up at Carina, “That’s why Chuck was shot, wasn’t it?”

The redhead hedged her response, “N-no. It wasn’t because of Sarah, but it was from Chuck’s connection to the government, and before you ask,” she held up one hand as Ellie started to interrupt, “no, I don’t know exactly why Chuck started working for the government in the first place.”

With a skeptical look, Ellie fixed her friend in place by asking, “You really don’t know? You’ve been around here for how many months now; you’ve known Sarah for how long before that; and you have no idea why my baby brother works for the government?”

_Ellie really could work for the agency too; she’s a born interrogator._ Carina wilted under the scrutiny, “He has a special skill that the government was – and is – in need of. He has a special memory that can recall facts and data he’s only seen once. It’s a good skill for someone like us to have.”

The doctor thought about that for a moment before asking her next question, “Is Chuck in any danger?”

Pursing her lips, Carina replied thoughtfully. “Yes, but that’s part and parcel of the job itself. Chuck handles himself better and smarter with less training than most seasoned agents would. Your brother is one of the quickest thinkers I’ve ever met. He’s even saved my life a time or two.”

Ellie smiled in pride before she returned to the question that started the whole matter. “I’ve seen Chuck and Sarah together, and I would swear in court that she has feelings for him. No one is that good of an actress, but I don’t know how deep those feelings go. You said earlier that you’ve known Sarah for a long time. Does Sarah love Chuck? Does she even like him as much as you do?”

Carina unfolded her legs from the sofa before answering, “Sarah cares for him very deeply, but I don’t know if she loves him. Her upbringing was – irregular. A lot of agents have similar family histories. The whole James Bond ‘orphan’ story isn’t that uncommon. It’s easier to live the kind of life we do when you don’t have anything else to lose. To answer your question: Sarah cares intensely for him, but I don’t know if she will ever act on that. It’s much more natural for her to be afraid of her feelings and run from them.”

Ellie considered that. “So again, why aren’t you doing anything about it? You obviously care for my brother, probably more than Sarah does. Why not see if there’s anything there?”

Putting her glass on the coffee table, Carina looked Ellie in the eye with all sincerity and said, “Because Chuck and Sarah are my two best friends in the world, and I owe them the chance to see if they can make each other happy.”

***

Sarah sat back in her chair at Castle with a pit of dread forming in the bottom of her stomach. Every day she lost more of the Chuck Bartowski she once loved to Charles Carmichael, and the worst part was that it was her fault he was becoming a spy. He thought it was what she wanted for him.

After Prague, she wasn’t going to give him her heart again, but lately it was becoming harder to even see the friend she once had.

The image of Chuck pounding back the Johnny Walker Black in misery was too much for her. Mere seconds after Sarah switched off the cameras to let Chuck wallow in his misery, Carina strolled up to Casa Bartowski and heard loud singing from within.

“…and it’s been a while since I’ve gone and fucked things up just like I always do, but all that shit seems to disappear when I’m with…”

She opened the door to find Chuck sitting at the table with a half-empty bottle of Scotch and, as he saw her, he awkwardly finished “…Carina!”

He got to his feet unsteadily. “What are you doing here?”

Carina took in his enormous intoxication with a raised eyebrow. “Well, I had a spa day with your sister and talking to her made me miss talking to you,” she paused before her next question, “why are you so drunk?”

Chuck looked up at her with unfocused eyes. “I am becoming a s-spy! I just had to b-burn an asset today. Well? Aren’t you proud of me?”

Carina shook her head in pity. “Come on, Chuck. Let’s go get you cleaned up and we’ll talk about this some more when you’re sober.”

Despite a few stumbles and one jarring crash into the wall, she gently guided him to the bathroom where he could brush his teeth and take some aspirin for his hangover. After that, she helped him change into pajamas and get into bed. As sad as it was to see him stumble around drunkenly, Carina had to bite her lip to keep from chuckling as he tried to put on a different shirt with no coordinated motor skills whatsoever.

Finally, he was lying in bed, sighing softly as the room stopped spinning. Carina was turning to leave when Chuck grabbed her elbow. When she looked down into his face, the desperation she saw flooding his normally warm eyes with agony broke her heart. “Carina! You h-have to help me figure out how to be a sp-spy! If I don’t do the flash-y thing relblia…reblam…ribali…right, Casey and Shara will put me in a hole j-just like the one I sent the poor guy today to.”

Carina looked at Chuck before taking his hands and pressing him back down on the bed, “I promise you, Chuck, no one will send you to a bunker without going through me first. Just get some sleep and we’ll talk more about this later, ok?” To her relief, Chuck nodded sadly and put his head back on his pillow. Carina turned the light out behind her. Once the door was closed, she sighed, shaking her head. The sound of her heels clacking on the pavement in the courtyard was just lough enough to muffle her muted sniffs. As she walked out past the fountain in the courtyard, she brushed the tears from her cheek.

**  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sarah's slip with her name gives Carina real hope.

**Chapter 18**

_What can I say? I have a type._

_I’m Sam. My real name is Sam._

***

Chuck knocked on Carina’s door with the bag of sizzling shrimp. A night in without any kind of drama or danger was exactly what he needed in the aftermath of rescuing Sarah and Shaw at the museum and watching them cradle each other. When Sarah woke up from the antidote’s effects, the look of gratitude and desire she turned on Shaw was so intense he had to look away. It seemed like every passing day he and Sarah were further from where they used to be.

If she didn’t want to be with him, he wasn’t going to fight it. Sarah deserved happiness, even if it wasn’t with him. After the debriefing, when he told her that seeing her with Shaw the Hero was better than seeing her with some random guy, she said some of the most devastating words she ever uttered to him. ‘ _What can I say? I have a type,’_ leaving unspoken, at least, the fact that Bryce and Shaw were that Hero type and Chuck the Nerd Herd Spy was not.

Carina opened the door with a grin that faded instantly upon seeing Chuck’s forlorn face. “Come on in and tell me what happened,” she said, closing the door behind him.

***

Carina seethed at her former best friend was going far out of her way to take every chance she possibly could to punish Chuck for Prague. Carina herself had broken her share of hearts, but she was never cold enough to tell someone who she knew loved her – and Sarah knew Chuck loved her after his drugged confession in the vault – that someone else was her type. Stabbing Chuck through the heart with one of her famous knives would have been less painful.

Still, maybe she could put that heart-fluttering smile on his face somehow. As she thought about different options, she got an idea for something that he would love that would also piss Sarah off to no end. Pulling her laptop over from the table, she ran a quick search for a certain telephone number.

The next day around lunchtime, she made the call.

“Lou’s Deli, how may I help you?” a man asked with a hurried voice.

“Hi, is Lou available?” she asked, cradling the phone in her neck, “I can wait if she’s busy, but I need to talk to her.”

“Hang on one second,” the man responded.

Carina sat back with a soft smile on her face.

“This is Lou,” she presently heard through her phone.

She sat up. “Lou, my name is Carina, and I’m a friend of Chuck Bartowski’s.”

“Oh, no. I thought I was done with that. Agent Casey of the FDA told me I wasn’t in any trouble,” Lou worried aloud.

Carina raised an eyebrow. That was one side of the story she never got from Chuck. “No, I’m not with the FDA,” she said, “I’m just a friend of Chuck’s that doesn’t really care for his girlfriend Sarah. If I paid for a sandwich over the telephone, would you take it to him at the Nerd Herd desk for me?”

Lou grinned at the idea of twisting Blondie’s tail. Now that she knew why Chuck acted so weirdly when they were dating, she definitely had a grudge against the blonde agent who had ruined their dates. Her eyes still wandered over to the Nerd Herd desk in search of the curly-haired nerd whenever she went past the Buy More’s doors.

“Sure thing, and I won’t even charge you delivery. I assume you want to send over the sandwich I named after him?”

“That would be perfect,” Carina said with a smirk.

***

Chuck was behind the desk, dealing with yet another customer on the telephone who had to be told his CD drive was not actually a cup holder when he heard a commotion from the front of the store. Finally getting the man off the telephone, he walked up to the front doors to see Casey grab the collar and belt of a delivery man and throw him out the door. At his feet was a brown paper bag wrapping around a box.

“What’s going on Casey?” he asked as he walked up to the front of the store.

“That delivery boy brought in this package addressed to you, refusing to say who sent it or where it came from. I have to get this down to Castle to make sure it isn’t booby-trapped or poisoned. Get out of the way, moron.” Casey gingerly picked up the package and started to walk toward the back of the store.

“Wha – are you crazy?”

“My job is to protect you, idiot. Move it!”

Casey went to Castle via the Buy More break room’s secret tunnel, alerting Sarah along the way. Chuck surreptitiously followed a few moments afterward. Arriving down in the base, Sarah had everything they needed already set up, including an X-ray scanner, mass spectrometer, and all manner of other equipment Chuck had never seen before. Shaw wasn’t there. _Probably off ironing his cape,_ Chuck thought bitterly.

“I need to ask this again: are you both crazy? This is just a package that was supposed to be for me!”

“Chuck, this could be a bomb or something else meant to hurt you. We need to make sure this isn’t a threat. In fact, you shouldn’t even be here! Casey! How did he get down here?” Sarah looked around for a way to get Chuck out of potential harms’ way.

“He followed me. Not much I can do to stop that; we had to give him access to Castle in case of a threat,” Casey grunted.

“Chuck at least go wait in a secure area. _Please!_ ” Her eyes pleaded with him, threatening to spill tears. He actually managed to resist the power her tears normally had over him.

“I’m not going anywhere! This is ridiculo…” he trailed off, a feathered projectile sticking out of his neck.

“CASEY!” Sarah shouted. “Why the hell did you do that?”

“He wasn’t going anywhere, and if this _is_ a bomb, the Intersect will be destroyed. Now, will you help me drag him to one of the holding cells? At least there he’ll be safe.”

Sarah sighed. He was right, as much as she hated to admit, and as much as Chuck would hate them later for it. Casey was right. She grudgingly grabbed Chuck’s ankles as they carried him to one of the holding cells and laid him on the cot. The least she could do was make sure he was comfortable when he woke up. She’d take him home later. Neither of them heard the buzzing from Chuck’s pocket as his phone vibrated, signaling an incoming text message.

Casey and Sarah went back to examining the package. Nothing showed up on the X-ray. When they opened the wrapping, they saw it was a box from Lou’s Deli. Casey grunted to himself as the blonde next to him unknowingly growled.

They opened the box, seeing a turkey sandwich on egg bread with Muenster cheese.

“Oh, come on! The Chuck? I thought he was done with this!” Sarah growled. “She’s sending him sandwiches again?” Casey grunted again. _I thought I was past your sandwich-related lady-feelings too._

Sarah took a knife from the brace around her ankle and sliced off a third of the sandwich for examinations while Casey took the rest for X-ray and other scans. After subjecting the sandwich to an array of chemical tests (all of which came back negative) the sandwich was ruined, cold, and not worth eating.

She groaned, knowing how hurt Chuck was going to be when he saw the sandwich someone sent him was wrecked. “Casey, can you help me get Chuck into my car? I can take him home and tell Ellie…something. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll be on shift with Devon.”

“You mean you don’t know her schedule off the top of your head? You and the geek really are on the outs,” Casey huffed as they dragged Chuck up the stairs.

Sarah’s shoulders slumped. As if she didn’t feel bad enough about where her relationship with Chuck was, Casey of all people had to point it out. “I know, I know. We’re not in a good place, personally or professionally. I don’t know what it’s going to take for us to get there.”

“Just try not to damage him too badly,” Casey grunted as they strapped Chuck into Sarah’s Porsche.

Sarah rolled her eyes and cast a sad glance at Chuck’s sleeping face as she peeled out of the parking lot. Thankfully, no one was home at Casa Bartowski, so she was able – with much effort – to drag Chuck into his room through the Morgan door, get him lying on his bed, and take his shoes and jeans off so he would be somewhat comfortable. As she was leaving, she heard him stir behind her. Rather than face the inevitable confrontation and fight, she decided to escape for the evening and hurried to her car.

***

Chuck stirred fitfully, waking up in a haze. He wasn’t sure where he was or how he got there until his eyes cleared.

“Casey!” he sat up yelling, then looked around realizing he was in his bedroom. As the post-tranquilizer fog lifted even more, he saw that he was missing his pants. _Awesome._ He reached for his phone on his nightstand, thinking to himself that Sarah must have been the one to take him home. Casey would have just dumped him on his bed and told Ellie he’d gotten falling-down drunk.

His phone showed one missed text.

“Great,” he groaned.

**Did you like your present?** Sent four hours ago from Carina. _Awesome._

**Present? You sent that package?** He responded.

Carina saw the text come through at last. **Chuck! Four hours! Are you ok?**

**Yeah…Casey…did something…and I had an unscheduled nap.** That sounded ridiculous even to him.

**WHAT? Did he hit you? Why didn’t Sarah stop him?**

**No, no, he just tranq’d me. They didn’t know who sent the delivery, so they wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything dangerous and I guess I was arguing too much.**

**I’m sorry. Did you at least get to eat it?**

**Eat what?**

Carina had enough, calling Chuck to ask, “You didn’t even get to eat it?”

“No, Casey tranq’d me before they opened the box. What did you send?”

“It was a sandwich! I figured you were having a miserable day and a good hot lunch would help you feel a little better. I called up Lou’s Deli and got her to make the Chuck.”

“It was a Chuck?! Aw, man! By the time Sarah and Casey got done testing it, it was probably ruined! And how did you get Lou to make it anyway? I thought she hated me,” Chuck was genuinely upset at the loss, not just of the sandwich but because Carina sent it to him.

“Well, when I mentioned it would probably piss Sarah off she was more than eager…” Carina trailed off

Chuck kept his laugh muted at the insistence of the leftover tranquilizer headache. “Actually, that’s pretty awesome. You know the problems Sarah and I have been having lately, and letting Casey tranq me isn’t helping. Thanks anyway, I’m sure it was a great sandwich.”

“I’m sorry Chuck,” Carina was actually more than sorry; she was furious. It wasn’t enough for Sarah to rub Chuck’s face in her new relationship; the blonde had to spoil Carina’s attempt at getting Chuck to feel even a little bit better. _If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Sarah’s actively trying to make Chuck miserable._

“Don’t be. It was a nice thought, even if Casey and Sarah messed it up.”

“I’m glad you appreciated the effort at least. I need to run and make another call. Talk to you later?

“Absolutely. Bye, Carina,” and he hung up.

***

Carina called the 411 service, looking for a specific number. She needed to give Sarah a major headache for ruining her surprise for Chuck. She held her breath, hoping they weren’t closed yet.

“Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, how may I help you today?”

“Yes, I would like to report a case of food poisoning, most likely from frozen yogurt from the Orange Orange in the Burbank Buy More Plaza…yes, I’ll hold.”

She hung up and grinned. That would give Sarah a huge pain in the ass; even if Beckman could get the health officials off her back it would take days.

***

Carina’s phone buzzed at the incoming call, and she rolled over groggily. “Mornin’ Chuck. What’s going on?”

Chuck struggled to keep the grin off of his face as he tried to sound stern, but Carina’s morning voice, still scratchy from sleep, was one of the cutest things he’d ever heard, “You wouldn’t happen to have any idea why the Health Department closed the Orange Orange, would you?”

She gave a very small yawn as she stretched, “Um, no, not really. Did they post a reason?”

“Someone,” he stressed the word for emphasis, “anonymously reported a food poisoning. Very strange, since the Double-O has about six customers in a good week.”

“Very strange. Sarah must not have mixed the yogurt very well,” Carina said with a sleepy chuckle.

“Uh huh. Well, the Orange Orange is closed now for at least two weeks while they perform an ‘inspection’ even though I think General Beckman is tearing people new ones to get the health inspectors to go away.”

“Wow, so how’s Sarah getting to work?” The fake sincerity in her voice was enough that anyone could detect it.

Chuck rolled his eyes, “Since she can’t really get in through the yogurt shop while they’re inspecting, she’s temporarily benched.”

“Aw, too bad for her,” Carina said, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Carina, I know it was you,” Chuck accused.

“You think so, huh? What are you going to do about it? Are you going to spank me for being naughty?”

He laughed in exasperation, “Nothing, just going to thank you. It was really funny to see the look on her face. I was over there for a meeting when the inspectors came in.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome, Chuck.”

***

Chuck called Carina on his way to Castle after prepping for the mission at home. “Hey, Carina,” he said when she answered her phone.

“Hi, Chuck! What’s up?” she asked brightly. The more Chuck and Sarah seemed to be on the outs, the brighter her voice got. She was beginning to see the hope for herself, bolstered by her ever-more-regular phone conversations and outings with Ellie. The other day, Ellie even confided in Carina that she told Chuck how glad she was that he was getting over Sarah.

“I need your help. There’s this mission I have tonight, and I have to pretend to be someone totally different.”

“Well, you’ve done that before, right Agent Carmichael?” Carina asked, pacing slowly around her apartment with a glass of water.

“Yeah, but this is different. Carmichael basically was me, just…more successful. This time around I have to pretend to be Rafe Gruber.”

Chuck heard a crash in the background. “Are you ok?”

“Shit, shit! Yeah, I’m fine. I just dropped a glass and it shattered on the kitchen floor. Rafe Gruber? Are you kidding?” Carina asked.

“Of course I’m serious, but just out of curiosity, why do you ask?” Chuck frowned as he changed lanes.

“I’m not doubting that you can do this, Chuck. It’s just going to be really dangerous. Gruber is one of the worst of the worst. I’ve tracked him before, but never even came close. Be careful tonight, ok?” Carina prodded with worry in her voice.

Chuck turned into the Buy More plaza and parked his Herder well away from the store. “I’ll be fine, I promise. Besides, Casey is going with me, and Sarah and Shaw said something about a tactical team on standby if I needed backup.”

She perked up at that. “Ok, Chuck. Call me when you’re back home, please?”

He smiled as he closed the door. “Sure thing, Carina. Have a good evening!” Chuck disconnected the call.

Carina frowned. He’d mentioned a tactical team on standby. There was only one place in LA that the CIA formed those, so maybe she could show her credentials and slip onto the team undetected.

She swept up the remnants of the glass and made a couple calls.

***

As the assault truck rumbled to the bar, Carina grinned to herself. Calling in the markers she had out with various law enforcement agencies paid off this time. She was on the tactical team going to help Chuck. Her luck was even stronger than usual tonight: the team was wearing tinted face masks so they couldn’t be identified. She just sat toward the back of the van with her hair pulled up under the helmet while Shaw and Sarah briefed the team on the mission.

Carina burst into the smoky saloon behind the rest of the team and only her training enabled her to keep moving despite what she saw. Casey was tied to a chair in front of the bar with two older mobsters to either side. Chuck stood in front of Casey holding a pair of pliers which gripped something small and bloody. Assured that Chuck was safe, she moved to secure the mob figures, letting Shaw and Sarah handle Chuck.

She didn’t even see Chuck’s foot until it connected with the body armor protecting her chest, nor his elbow until it nailed her helmet. She fell to the floor in shock. _What the hell Chuck? Why did you just attack the team sent to help you?_

Chuck ran out the back with the mobsters, and when the assault team all got to their feet with no serious injuries, it hit her: he wasn’t aiming for anything vital or trying for a disabling blow; Chuck was putting on the show of a good fight so that the criminals would believe he was Rafe Gruber. _Damn, he’s getting really good at this. I’m gonna give him so much shit for hitting me though._

When Shaw lifted his visor and crowed, “Good work, team,” Carina was glad for the visor so no one could see her eyes rolling. He never briefed them that Chuck might do that. Their only instructions were to rush in and secure everyone inside. _Arrogant prick wants to take credit for Chuck’s quick thinking_.

***

Behind the Buy More, Matty and Scotty gave him the location where he was supposed to see his target. Matty grinned as he said, “He’s got a girl with him, a real hot piece of tail. I think they’re gonna plow.”

Chuck managed to turn his wince into a smirk. “Perfect distraction.”

After punching the address into his GPS navigation system, he sent a frantic text to Carina asking her to meet him at the location and help with a mission. Matty and Scotty had long since disappeared, not wanting any connection to the assassination.

Chuck was waiting outside when she pulled up, parking her car outside the building. “Carina! Oh thank you for meeting me. I really need your help on this. I’m supposed to go up to room 701, where they set up a sniper rifle. I need your help up there to figure out what to do once I see who this mysterious target is.”

She grinned, happy to be working with Chuck on another mission. “Wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Chuck. Let’s head on up.” Carina linked her arm through his and they entered the building.

Just as Matty and Scotty had said, there was a sniper rifle already set up on a tripod and trained out one of the windows, pointing at the Hotel Roosevelt. Along with the rifle was another scope for a spotter. They also had a parabolic mike set up so Chuck could hear what his target was saying. Carina took the spotter scope and one pair of headphones while Chuck got down on the floor behind the rifle’s tripod.

Chuck donned the other pair of headphones and looked through the scope. What he saw sent a shiver of dread through his entire being. _Shaw and Sarah! What the hell?_

Beside him Carina let out a gasp. They looked at each other in shock but kept listening.

“I’ve been on this assignment for almost three years and I’ve never even told anybody my real name,” Sarah said forlornly.

“Not even Chuck?” Shaw’s voice was dripping with smugness.

“No, not even Chuck.”

“So, what is it?” Shaw kept up the prodding.

_Come on, Sarah. Don’t do this! Don’t show Chuck how little you think of him by telling this wooden puppet something you never told the guy who spent three years fighting for you!_ Carina practically shouted the words in her head.

Chuck was frozen. He barely felt Carina reach down to stroke his shoulder. “It feels so weird to say it out loud,” Sarah laughed.

“Yeah, you just never seemed like a ‘Sarah’,” Shaw said softly.

“It’s because I’m not. I’m Sam. My real name is Sam.”

Carina’s heart broke for her friend as Chuck’s head slumped down. The latest in a long series of body blows to Chuck’s ego and self-respect since Prague, this betrayal was the cherry on top. _One day, Sarah Walker; one day I will pound that pretty little face in for that. You deserve every bit of your Ice Queen reputation. May God have mercy on you, because I won’t._ The more Carina stared at Sarah passionately kissing Shaw, the angrier she got.

Chuck lowered his face from the scope as Shaw announced his intentions to kiss her. He was devastated, and took several deep breaths to try to calm himself down. “Three years of trying to learn about her, any little detail, and I learn nothing. Shaw’s barely been here three months and she tells him her real name. I guess an asset like me was never good enough for her.” The misery in his voice echoed with the clatter of Carina’s scope. He looked up to see the redhead run out the door.

“Carina, wait!”

He caught up to her outside the building and grabbed her hand to slow her down. “Wait, wait, wait! Don’t do this. Don’t go up there. She and Shaw don’t need to know you’re still here.”

Carina’s eyes blazed icy blue fire. “I’m going to go up there and kick her ass. This is between _Sam_ and me.”

Chuck reached out and took both of her shoulders. “You fighting her isn’t going to accomplish anything. She made her choice. I’ll go up there and tell Shaw he was the target of the hit, and we’ll figure something out. Just go home and we’ll get some sizzling shrimp and hang out tonight, ok? Please!”

She glowered, but his eyes, the pleading voice, and the effect his hands had on her shoulders won out. She kicked at a pebble and finally nodded with a smile. “Ok, sizzling shrimp it is. I’ll be waiting.” Before Carina left, she wrapped him in a rib-crushing hug.

Chuck watched her go, dazed at the strength of her embrace.

***

Chuck went up to Shaw’s room and as he pounded on the door, he decided he was going to let _Sam_ know exactly what happened. Maybe this would be the spark that either got through to her or got her out of his life. He couldn’t take much more of the constant reminders of how much she loathed him.

He barged in, pretending to be Rafe, knocking Shaw around and growling. Then he dropped his bomb: “I’m going to end you for taking Sam.”

Behind him, Sarah had a look of horror on her face. _He heard? How did he hear? Shaw must have been Rafe’s target, but…how did he hear me say my real name? Oh shit! What have I done?_

After Rafe showed up and Casey saved the day with the miracle shot, Chuck, Sarah, and Shaw stood around the room, the elephant in the room taking almost tangible form between them. Chuck couldn’t stand the two of them anymore. He turned on his heel and left the elephant with the douchebag and… _Sam…_ to go have sizzling shrimp with Carina.

***

Carina did her best to comfort him, but he wasn’t looking for reasons to believe in his former cover-girlfriend as he sat on her couch.

“What do you mean, Chuck?” Carina asked.

“I don’t think there’s any hope to be found with _Sam_ anymore,” Carina winced at the choice of name, “she seems to have made her choice. I’ve given her more chances than I probably should have, but she keeps finding new ways to remind me how insignificant I am to her.”

Chuck leaned forward and put his plate on Carina’s coffee table. “How long should I keep chasing a shadow? Am I just flailing at the memory of what we once might have had?”

Carina put her plate next to Chucks and, reaching over, drew his head down onto her lap. “I don’t have that answer for you, Chuck. I was in Mexico for a lot of your relationship, whatever it was at the time. Speaking objectively, she hasn’t given you any reason to believe she’s interested. As a matter of fact, she’s done the exact opposite and crushed you at every turn...”

Chuck groaned and covered his eyes. “Not helping, Carina!”

She softly chuckled as she soothingly ran her fingers through his hair. Giving him hope was getting easier every time Sarah shot him down. “…but, speaking as a friend, you have to decide for yourself if she’s worth the investment. If you still think she is the one for you to give all of yourself to – remember our talk on the plane? – then I think you have time to throw one more Hail Mary pass to see if she’s still interested.” _Not likely,_ Carina thought with an inner sigh, _I know her better than that. She’s running from this guy who challenges her to that plywood excuse of a man. This time I’m going to get what you want, Sarah, and I won’t make the same mistakes you have._

***

Sarah screwed up badly and knew it. After the scene in Shaw’s hotel room, she went far out of her way to avoid Chuck, dreading the confrontation. Chuck was benched because he wasn’t flashing, and hadn’t flashed since the Name Incident.

She knew why Chuck wasn’t flashing. His emotions were more confused than ever because she chose to reveal her real name to Shaw, someone she’d only known a few months rather than Chuck, who had saved her life and fought for her for years. It was her fault he wasn’t flashing, but she agreed with Shaw. With Chuck unable to access the Intersect’s data or skills, he was useless, so as he looked around Castle for support she cast her gaze down at the table, ignoring his pleading.

When he looked intensely at her and emphasized “I gave up _everything_ for this,” the guilt threatened to overwhelm her, so she had to throw him something.

“Well, maybe some time off will do you good, Chuck. It will help you function again.” Nope, that effort failed. She had forgotten how upset he was about having to lie to his sister. That was one problem she couldn’t fix, no matter what.

“Well you can always talk to us,” she said after he talked about how he might have been a machine but he was also a person. _Dammit. I said ‘us’ instead of ‘me’. Way to make a bad situation worse, Samantha._

Chuck stared at her. _Did she really just suggest I unburden myself to the woman I’ve been pursuing for almost three years and her new boyfriend?_ “Yeah, uh, no thanks. I don’t think that’s going to work for me.”

Then they got the call that a Ring agent had been spotted at a hotel not far from the beach.

***

Casey, Sarah, and Shaw waited anxiously by the freezer door in the Orange Orange. There was no way to get in to rescue Chuck from the Ring agents who smoked them out. With Chuck not flashing, he was as good as dead.

When Shaw started ordering the base’s self-destruct phase, she panicked, and begged for five more minutes. _Please, give him the chance to save himself. Don’t take him away from me yet._ The depth of her fear surprised her. Sarah thought she was past caring about Chuck, but somehow, the thought of being unable to help while he died rattled her to her core.

Then the freezer door opened and Morgan walked out and called her Agent Walker… _Wait…Morgan? What the hell?_

With her feelings still unsettled from the worry over losing Chuck, she supported his bid to keep Morgan out of Witness Protection. She could tell he appreciated it, but something was forever changed between them. Ever since ‘I’m Sam,’ he looked at her differently. The warmth in his eyes was almost gone. While she sat numbly at the table, she heard Casey explain – more gently than she’d ever heard Casey say anything to Chuck – that the target of the smokeout attempt was Devon. _I’m so sorry, Chuck._

Predictably, Chuck hit the roof.

***

The first place Chuck went after leaving Castle was over to Carina’s apartment. He unsuccessfully tried to calm his freak-out on the ride over, and he really needed to talk to…he almost drove off the road when the realization hit him. _Carina knows everything there is to know about me. She’s saved my life, and we have no secrets between us anymore. Carina Miller is my best friend!_

As Carina answered the door and let him in, part of Chuck idly wondered why she never seemed to be busy when he needed her. _Doesn’t she do anything with her time in LA? Does she just sit and relax so that she can be there for me when I need her? Oh, boy. That’s a big thought._

Carina sat him on the couch and, sitting next to him, took in his near-hysterical explanation of how the Ring was still targeting Devon and his sister was inadvertently in danger. She reached out and took both of his flailing arms and held them in place, almost forcing him to calm down. When she spoke, it was in soft, soothing tones. “Shhhh, sweetie. It’s ok. Calm down.”

Gradually, he did calm down, and when he reached the point where Carina thought Chuck could hear what she had to say without having a stroke, she moved to sit on the coffee table in front of him.

“Chuck, I have something I need to tell you, but before I can say anything, I need you to promise me that you’ll let me get through it uninterrupted. Once I’m done, we’ll talk about this, but I need my friend to hear me out. Can you do that?”

Seeing the sincerity in her earnest gaze, Chuck nodded wordlessly.

“Ok, here goes: after the briefcase mission, when you and Sarah were almost not speaking to each other, I showed her the video of your confession in the vault that she missed when she let you out. That night, I was at a bar and got drunker than I’ve ever been in my life. If someone hadn’t caught me and taken me home, I might have died from alcohol poisoning.”

Chuck’s face softened with concern and he started to speak but Carina held up one hand. “Nope, you promised me no interruptions.” He closed his mouth and nodded for her to continue.

“The person who stopped me that night was your sister. Ellie must have been out with some doctors. The bar we were at was near the hospital and…anyway that’s not important. I fell on my face, and your sister – and Devon as well – got me up and into a cab. Ellie got me up to this apartment and took care of me. She was looking for aspirin in my bedroom when she accidentally found my gun and my DEA badge. She knows I’m a spy.”

Chuck’s face registered pure shock. His eyes were bulging and his mouth was opening and closing like a goldfish. Carina grabbed his arms and asked, “I’m not to the biggest thing yet, are you still with me?” Chuck visibly shook himself free of the surprise and nodded again.

“The next morning, she made breakfast for both of us, and while we ate she had a lot of questions for me. I guess it’s only natural: she knew me as Nurse Carmichael from your hospital room, then she sees Carina Miller’s DEA badge. We had a rough morning, because I was still wickedly hung over, but I didn’t try to lie to her. I did, however, skirt the issue whenever she asked how I knew you. A few weeks later, while you all were in Dubai, we had a girls’ day out. Ellie asked me how you and Sarah were doing. She specifically asked if there was any hope for the two of you. She caught me off-guard and saw something in how I answered, so she wouldn’t let me avoid the answer. I was able to get her back here in private, but she wouldn’t take no for answer and I know she sniffs out lies, so I had to tell her the truth. She knows Sarah is a spy and she knows you work for the government in some capacity.”

Chuck fell back against the couch, unable to even remain upright at Carina’s revelations. “That’s one reason I haven’t been very busy, Chuck. I stayed around to keep an eye on Ellie and protect her from any Ring agents who might try to use her to get to Devon or you.”

He finally got his mouth to close and nodded with pursed lips. “Thank you for that, Carina. It means a lot to me that you’re watching out for her. This is a huge deal, but at least now I don’t have to lie to her anymore, right?”

Carina laughed and shook her head. “No more lies. Just don’t give her all the details,” she looked down uncertainly, “um, I know you’re probably pretty mad at me, but I have to know: are we ok?”

The surprised look was back in his face. “Of course we’re ok, Carina. It’s really going to complicate my life that she knows now, and I really have no idea how to bring this up with her. If I say anything at home, Casey will see. If I said anything at the hospital, other people might hear. I’ll deal with that later though. Thank you for looking out for her…again. We’re fine, I promise,” he ended with a smile.

Carina took his hands, stood up, and pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry things happened the way they did today.”

He smiled and rubbed her back as they hugged. Then a thought hit, and Chuck pulled back from the hug. “Wait, a spa day? Are you and my sister becoming friends?”

She grinned and nodded. “Yeah we are, actually. I really like her, Chuck, and it almost seems like my friendship with Ellie is growing as fast as my friendship with Sarah is dying.”

Chuck laughed. “I think I know what you mean.”

***

Chuck reached Ellie’s door and knocked. He knew Devon was back at work that evening, so he had a good chance to talk to Ellie alone and have a long-overdue brother-sister heart-to-heart.

She answered the door with a huge smile. “Hey, stranger. I haven’t really seen you around here lately.”

Chuck laughed sheepishly and looked down, putting his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, about that, I’m really sorry, sis. Things got sort of crazy,” he looked up at his sister again, “but, I had a chat with a good friend of mine today, and I finally feel better about life, you know?”

Ellie closed the door behind her as she joined Chuck outside in the warm Los Angeles evening. They sat together at the fountain, looking up at the sky.

After a few moments he turned to her and said, “Oh, by the way, Carina says hello, and would you like to get a pizza sometime this weekend?”

Ellie smiled at her brother. “I wondered how long it would take you to figure that out.”

Chuck leaned down, putting his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together. “So you’re not mad?”

She cocked her head to one side. “Mad? Why would I be mad?”

“The whole lying-about-being-a-government-agent thing. You’re not mad that I kept that from you?”

“Well, I’m not thrilled, but Carina explained it pretty well. She’s a remarkable woman, Chuck. She looks like a party animal on the surface, but there’s a lot more to her than just her supermodel looks.”

He laughed and nodded. “You’re absolutely right, El.”

She looked at him and asked in a soft voice, “So your…situation with Sarah…I get now why that was always complicated, but was it ever simple for you? Was it ever real?”

Chuck sighed. “It was, once. But, faced with a choice, I made the wrong one in her eyes, and she’s never given me the chance to explain my side. She won’t even let me talk about it with her, and now she’s dating this other guy. It looks hopeless, sis.”

Ellie patted his arm like she had since she became his surrogate mother. “Now that I know what a heroic life you’ve been leading the past couple of years, I’m just as proud of you as I could be. You’re aces, Charles. You’ll figure out the right thing to do.”

He looked at her and smiled. “Thanks, El.” She smiled and went back into her apartment, leaving Chuck by the fountain to stare at the sky.

***

General Beckman looked to Sarah after Bartowski escorted the newly-discharged John Casey out of Castle. “I want to commend you, Agent Walker, for your work with the Intersect. He seems to need you less and less.”

“Yes, um, Chuck has certainly changed, and he’s well on his way to becoming the perfect spy.” _And it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry, Chuck._

“A while back you requested a transfer out of Burbank, and I haven’t forgotten. There’s an empty seat on my flight back to DC if you’d still like to go. We can discuss it on the way. I leave in an hour if you’d like to join me, Agent Walker.” With that the diminutive general walked out, leaving Sarah alone in Castle.

_Chuck doesn’t really need me anymore. He’s flashing again, Shaw’s going back to DC, and Beckman just offered me a ride out of Burbank. What the hell do I do now?_

***

Carina sat alone in her apartment. Things were getting so close. Chuck and Sarah were coming to a head. She was dating the plywood man, and from her conversations with Chuck and Ellie, she could tell Chuck was approaching he breaking point. He wasn’t going to be able to take much more of the blonde’s punishment.

Real hope that he would see what she could be for him flared brighter in her than she ever thought it could after his vault confession.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Chuck has an unexpected helper both during and after a mission.

**Chapter 19**

_Are you still in love with him?_

_No. Not anymore! It's just - he's not going to be the same person again._

***

Carina, Chuck, Ellie, and Devon were sitting around the dinner table laughing at a story Ellie just told about one of the hospital’s more unusual patients. Chuck was relaxed and happy, basking in the glow of a successful final exam and confident in his new status as a fully-fledged agent. Carina had mentioned that Chuck passed a big test at work for a promotion and put just enough emphasis on the right words that Ellie – and Devon – caught on and realized they weren’t talking about the Buy More.

Carina herself was feeding off Chuck’s mood. Seeing him so at ease after he mentioned that he had his final test as a spy relaxed her too, especially with the lingering nerves she was still dealing with regarding his entry into full agent status. He never mentioned his Red Test which contributed to those lingering nerves, but she tried to give herself some optimism, thinking that perhaps the powers that be in Washington considered his accidental knocking of the Fulcrum agent out of the training tower to be his first kill. Taken with the two and a half years he’d spent contributing to missions, it wasn’t impossible.

Chuck was trying out some unexpected skills in the Intersect when he had the chance, in an effort to familiarize himself with it as much as possible. The Intersect was his chance to become a real spy, and Chuck had already given up too much since Prague to give up on that. Tonight, he flashed on cooking and with Carina’s help prepared a five-course Italian dinner for the four of them. After the appetizers of melon and prosciutto, he served a light salad consisting of a lettuce blend, grape tomatoes, sliced carrots, cucumbers, walnuts, and a light vinaigrette dressing. For the main course, Carina watched as Chuck placed a sage leaf on thin chicken breasts before wrapping them with prosciutto slices. He sautéed the meat in a pan with olive oil before adding some pinot grigio for flavor, turning the mixture into a sauce. Roasted asparagus mixed with garlic-seasoned red potatoes accompanied the dish.

As she looked around the table, Carina reflected on how beneficial the previous months had been for her overall disposition. When she got back from Mexico, she was running on fumes. Even Director Maxwell noticed how exhausted she looked. Running into Chuck again in Los Angeles, followed by everything the two had gone through together was one of the best things that had ever happened to her. She even managed to forge a friendship with Ellie after their first disastrous meeting. She and Devon were beginning to connect as well, sharing stories about rafting, rock climbing, and other extreme sports.

They were just sipping coffee and complimenting the chef on his delicious tiramisu when Ellie asked if Chuck was free the next night for dinner at their apartment.

He leaned forward and after looking at Carina, replied, “I’m sorry, El, but Sarah asked me to dinner, down at Tracks, that new restaurant at Union Station. How about the night after?”

“Wait, _Sarah_ asked _you_ to dinner?” Ellie’s eyebrows went up at the notion.

“Yeah, she didn’t say why but she did ask to meet me there alone.”

Ellie turned a wide-eyed glance on Carina, who hurriedly replaced her own expression of dismay immediately with one of thoughtfulness. Sarah avoided Chuck at all costs in recent weeks, so for her to ask Chuck to dinner was unusual, to say the least. Carina’s mind flashed back to her earlier train of thought regarding whether or not Chuck really completed his final exam. She had to find out for sure. Carina turned to Ellie and Devon, saying “Um, guys? Could we wrap this evening up? I need to talk to Chuck about something.” The two doctors shared a look before nodding and after brief – but fierce in Ellie’s case – hugs, they went back to their own apartment.

Chuck walked into the kitchen and watched as Carina furiously scrubbed at the plates. “You know, we do have a handy-dandy machine that will actually wash those itself.”

Her arms jerked and dropped the plate into the soapy water. Carina’s head snapped up but didn’t turn to look at him. “Hey, hey. Carina, what’s wrong?”

Carina finally turned to look at him, but he didn’t understand the anguish in her eyes. “Chuck, tell me something: are you sure you’ve completed your test? Are you sure you’re a full spy?”

Chuck looked confused at the question, but smiled and said, “Yeah. Yeah, like I said: I passed. Celebration time now.”

She pursed her lips into a tight smile. “Fine. Just…be careful tomorrow night, ok?”

He looked at her with a concerned expression as she leaned against the sink. “It’s just dinner with Sarah. What’s wrong? Why are you so worried about this?”

Carina just shook her head. “Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

Chuck frowned at her reluctance to answer his question, but he nodded. “Ok, Carina. I promise.”

She finally smiled. “Good boy. Now I have to get home. The dishes are your job.” After she gave him a quick hug she threw her towel over his shoulder and walked out of the apartment.

Chuck stared at the front door, wondering what happened that worried her so much.

***

The next morning, Carina used her DEA badge to gain access to Tracks. It wasn’t difficult to make up a story about needing access to a potential meeting between a suspect and an informant in a drug investigation. Once the manager was aware of her agency’s interest, she had no problems setting a table her two people could use for the entire evening.

Back in the kitchen, Carina took the opportunity to slip a short-range bug into the small floral arrangement which would go on their table. She tested her own receiver, found it in working order, and after a final warning to the manager to tell his entire staff that table was not to be touched once it was set for the evening, she went to the Union Station offices and requested a complete layout of the building and the train yard to study, so she could be as ready as possible for whatever happened that night. With those tasks completed, she finally went back to her apartment to prepare. She would finally be able to pay Chuck back for all his long-distance help in Mexico.

***

As Carina was getting ready to take a shower early that afternoon, her phone rang with a call from Ellie.

“Carina! I need to talk to you about dinner last night.” Ellie’s voice bespoke of her agitation.

“Hi, Ellie,” Carina forced out, “I wondered when you’d call.” She walked out of her bedroom and took a seat on the couch.

“I knew it!” Ellie exclaimed. “You think Sarah wants to get back together with him too, don’t you?”

Carina sighed and folded her legs under herself. “I don’t know, El. That could be it, but after the way they’ve been the last few weeks, I don’t think so. There’s something else going on here.”

Ellie got quiet for a minute. “What else could it be? You know this other world. I don’t. What is she going to do to him?”

“Chuck recently completed a mission completely on his own. Something like a spy final exam,” Carina started, “and he’s really thrilled that he passed. He thinks he passed it all, but Ellie, I think tonight is the last part of the test.”

“You’re really freaking me out, Carina. What are you not saying?” Ellie gasped, then as the only reason Carina could be this worried clicked, she continued with a voice filled with dread, “Oh, no. He’s not going to have to do something like kill someone tonight, is he?” Carina’s silence on the other end was all the answer Ellie needed. She took several deep breaths before she asked another question. “You’ve known my brother for the past couple years. Before he knew that I knew about his new life, he was a stranger to me. He hid things, lied to me, and from the outside was acting completely crazily. He wasn’t the Chuck I knew. He seems to care more about your opinion than anything else right now. Carina, if he does this tonight, will it change him? Will he become a killer, or can he stay the Chuck we both know and love?”

Carina’s stomach jumped in her surprise at how skillfully Ellie hinted that she knew Carina’s feelings for Chuck ran deeper than a mere crush, but she filed that away to think about later. She needed to answer the bigger question her friend just asked. She looked around and sighed before answering, “I don’t know, Ellie. I’ve killed people before, more than I care to admit, but the one thing they all had in common was they were really bad people and I knew that doing what I did saved a lot of innocent people. If Chuck realizes that, he can come through this ok. If not, it will really damage him.”

“What are you going to do? Are you going to just let him go and do this on his own, possibly getting himself killed?”

For the first time, Carina smiled into the phone. “No, I’m not.”

Ellie paused, and then said in a firm voice, “I think you just might be the best friend he’s ever had, Carina. Take care of him tonight.”

***

From her vantage point across the restaurant, Carina watched as Sarah arrived first and was seated at the table. Carina had to admit to herself the blonde went all-out for this dinner. Her purple top with ruffled straps looked stunning over her black mission pants, as did her swept-back hair and makeup. Every part of her attire for the evening was designed to be a distraction. _But who is she trying to distract? The mark, or Chuck?_

Carina’s bug picked up every sound, from the rustle of the cloth napkin to the clink of silverware.

Then Chuck arrived. He’d learned a lot about fashion since their first mission together when he worried that his boxer shorts were showing through the light suit. Carina stifled a snort at the memory. Tonight his grey suit and white button-down – minus a tie – was dressy but still casual. He looked…delicious.

She chuckled softly at their awkward small talk, but then perked up as Sarah verbally confirmed her fears.

“Let’s have an appetizer. No, what am I saying? I’ve got to thank you. Thank you. I wouldn’t even be here without you,” Chuck babbled.

“Please don’t say that,” Sarah said in a heavy, pained voice.

“But it’s true!” Chuck insisted.

Sarah paused and pursed her lips before launching into the real reason for dinner. “Chuck, you’re going to want to stay calm right now, ok? I need you to trust me.”

“Why? Are you planning on surprising me with something? Is that what this is?” Chuck asked as he noticed how she unconsciously referenced their first date when she asked for his trust again. His hopes for an evening reestablishing a real friendship with Sarah and seeing if she had any feelings at all left for him began to grow.

Carina watched in dismay as Sarah dug into her purse and brought out another of the blue foil envelopes. “Your mission isn’t over Chuck,” she said, handing it over to him.

Stunned, he looked down at the envelope that dashed his hopes once more.

“The man in the photo is the man that you ID’d last night. He’s a traitor who continues to put civilians and agents and the nation at risk. We’ve arranged for you to meet him here at the restaurant in five minutes’ time. He knows you’re CIA, and he will remain cautious and probably try to maintain his cover.”

Carina’s eyes were watering by this point. Her former friend wasn’t at dinner tonight trying to reconnect with Chuck; she was giving him his Red Test. She paused at the phrase her subconscious slipped into her thoughts. _Former friend. That’s true. At this point she really isn’t my friend anymore._ Sarah was moving again, and Carina paled as she slid a folded napkin across the table to Chuck, who looked suspiciously at Sarah before lifting the napkin’s corner to reveal the pistol.

He slammed the napkin closed over the weapon and looked at Sarah in anger.

“The final part of your mission is to kill him.” She couldn’t even meet his gaze. It took everything she had to keep her voice level.   

Chuck paled. His mouth opened and closed in shock. “Are you being serious right now? Are you kidding me? Kill him here and now? I can’t do that.”

Finally she made eye contact. Chuck Bartowski was still there. Carmichael hadn’t completely gotten rid of him yet. “Then you won’t become a spy.”

“But then,” Chuck had to pause and swallow the lump in his throat, “we couldn’t…” he trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished.

Carina’s heart sank at his unfinished question. He still had feelings for Sarah, and was trying to see if she reciprocated at all.

Sarah shook her head, looking down again as she confirmed his unspoken fear. “No, probably not.”

Despite his dismay, Chuck noticed what she said. If he couldn’t become a spy, they couldn’t ever be together for real. There was still some hope left. “Sarah,” he had to reach out to the girl he knew – Sarah, not Sam – for some hope, “When all this started, I didn’t think I had a chance at ever becoming a real spy, but if I can’t do this, then what will I be?”

She stared into his eyes, really looking into them for the first time that evening as she willed him to understand how serious she was about her next words. “Then you will be Chuck and there is nothing wrong with that. That’s all I can say. I’m sorry. The rest is your decision.”

“Sarah, wait,” Chuck had to know if he was going to be killing a traitor, “Are we absolutely sure about this guy?”

She was buttoning up a black overcoat as she answered, “Yes. Your target is Perry. Your orders are clear.”

The exuberant high he rode coming into the restaurant disappeared, and the plunge was all the steeper because of it. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

For one final time Sarah forced her voice to be calm and clinical. “The decision is yours, Chuck, but please know that there’s no turning back.”

Sarah turned back as she left the restaurant. She saw the fear in Chuck’s eyes as his gaze implored her not to leave him alone, but she had to do this. Her orders were clear too.

***

When Chuck got up from the table, Carina decided to follow. Carina couldn’t believe Walker had left Chuck completely alone to face a seasoned traitorous agent. She saw Chuck follow the traitorous agent into the bathroom and almost shouted in despair. _No, Chuck. Don’t follow him in there! He’s laying a trap for you!_

She heard the sounds of a struggle from inside the bathroom, fighting her urge to run in and help Chuck with the traitor. Somehow, he seemed to get the upper hand, as Chuck’s yelps of pain gradually switched over to grunts of triumph as he landed a series of blows.

Carina heard the mole feed Chuck a line about not having a choice because the Ring was going to kill him too. Her heart dropped. She knew Chuck and that was the exact type of story that he would find sympathy for, and in a moment of weakness the traitor would strike. She paled disbelievingly as she heard Chuck actually arrest the agent, then ducked around the side of the restroom area as they came out. She hid behind a support column and followed as Chuck prodded the agent in front of him, walking him to what Chuck thought would be an arrest. _What is your end-game on this Chuck?_ Carina wondered. _You didn’t bring handcuffs or zip-ties, and I know you don’t have a squad car out here. How the hell are you going to arrest him and get him back to Castle?_

She followed them at a distance, noticing Sarah comically hiding on a bench, watching Chuck’s progress.

***

Perry turned to say something to Chuck that Carina couldn’t catch at this distance, but whatever it was made Chuck tuck his gun inside his jacket. _Oh no, Chuck. Don’t give away your advantage like that!_

Sure enough, the second the gun was pointed away, Perry started hurrying toward the exit.

Carina looked, noticing they were heading for the rails and ducked out a side entrance that would get her there quicker. She blessed the office manager who’d given her the layout of the yard and station earlier.

She heard the sounds of pursuit, and jumped between cars to try to place herself where she could provide support. Carina heard a shot fired and watched Perry fall. _Holy shit! Did Chuck actually take the shot?_ A few seconds later when Perry got back up, she saw that Chuck just fired a warning shot. It worked, because Perry stopped running, but as soon as he was up he took off again. _He’s not going to go quietly, Chuck! You have to take the shot!_ Carina shouted in her head as kept up the pursuit.

Finally, Perry tripped and the chase was over. He started to beg for his life again, but Chuck wasn’t completely buying it this time. Carina saw Perry draw a pistol from an ankle holster, and her face paled. _I’m sorry Chuck. I won’t let you die just because you want to try to take this traitor alive._

***

A shot rang out and Perry slumped over dead. Chuck stared at his pistol in shock. _I didn’t pull the trigger, so where did the shot come from?_ Chuck looked behind him and saw Carina standing between two train cars. He stared at her, still trying to catch his breath from the chase. When she forced a smile and winked at him, he pursed his lips into a grim smile and nodded his thanks.

Another person was coming into the area from the side, and Carina ducked around the car to walk away. They’d have time for their talk later.

Chuck turned to see who was approaching and saw Sarah staring at him in dismay and horror.

***

“What does all this mean, Carina?” Chuck asked as they walked into the courtyard. “I mean, technically I failed my test!”

“You need to understand that to Walker, Shaw, and Beckman, you passed the test. To them, you killed Perry, doing exactly what you were trained to do.”

“Yeah, except I didn’t do it. You did!”

“I did what I had to do. You’re not a killer. He was, and he was about to kill you. I wasn’t going to let him take your life because the goodness in you wanted to try to save his.” She said with utmost sincerity.

“But all that means that I’m not a real spy. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I am.”

“Well, luckily for you, I do. You’re a spy. I’ve watched you think outside their little box and get the job done however you had to. It doesn’t matter if you accomplished the mission exactly how they lined it up or not. The mission got accomplished one way or another. Just think of me as your partner,” she said with a cheeky grin.

“Thanks,” he said with a small smile. “Want to come inside for some coffee, partner?”

She looped her arm through his. “I thought you’d never ask.”

When they got inside, there was another blue foil envelope on the table. Chuck froze when he saw it. After they played Beckman’s message and the smoke from the fried video player had cleared, Carina looked at him and smiled. “Congratulations, Agent Bartowski. You’ll have to call me from DC and let me know where you’re going.”

Chuck looked at her still stunned from Beckman’s recording. “What are you saying? You’re DEA. When your leave of absence is over, what are you going to do?”

“Let me worry about that, Chuck. You said something about coffee?” She gestured to the kitchen, “Use your feet?”

He laughed at the memory of her hotel room two years before, but got up and started a pot of coffee. When the machine finished brewing, he poured two mugs and set Carina’s in front of her on the breakfast bar, then adding some cream and sugar.

She took a small sip, before looking up at him from her stool with a question in her eyes. “Chuck, you promised on the plane to Paris that you’d explain what you meant by ‘flashing’ and how you looked like you were having a seizure before turning into a master fencer.”

Chuck looked down, muttering to himself, “Flashing…flashing…how to explain flashing…”

Carina got a saucy expression and gave Chuck a sly wink as she said, “I mean, if you want to do some flashing, I’d totally be up for that.”

He chuckled at the familiarity of her brazen flirting. “Here, I think this conversation would go better on the couch.” Chuck moved out of the kitchen and took her hand, guiding her over to the sofa.

They settled in, cupping their mugs, while Chuck took a deep breath, planning how he was going to start this conversation. “Ok, so about three years ago, I got an email from Bryce Larkin, which contained a lot of images. I accidentally opened the email, and saw them all.”

Carina looked confused, so Chuck kept going, “Well, it turns out that those pictures were encoded with government intelligence secrets that make up the Intersect, and by viewing them, they somehow uploaded themselves into my brain. When you see me shake, that’s the Intersect activating on some trigger – visual or audible – and dumping information into my brain.”

“That’s what you meant when you said you knew about Argentina?” Carina asked cautiously.

He smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Yeah, I flashed on you when you were waiting in the courtyard that morning.”

She got very quiet and very still as she considered the implications of that statement. “You flashed on me, or you flashed on that mission?

Remembering how sensitive Sarah was about her past and her identity, Chuck chose his words very carefully, “I flashed on that mission. Your real name was redacted from all the reports. All I really saw was the passport with your cover name. I’ve never flashed on you specifically.”

Carina breathed a small sigh of relief. “Um, well, Carina isn’t actually my real name.”

He nodded. “I kinda figured that your name was a cover like Sarah’s. If you were ever going to tell me, you’d tell me when you thought the time was right,” Chuck’s face grew sad, “Just don’t tell me the way she did.”

She reached over and grasped his hand, compelling him to look her in the eyes, “Tara Callaghan,” before watching as his eyes rolled back in his head. Carina waited for the flash to pass, taking in the previously-alarming sight calmly.

Chuck began to laugh softly, “Boy, you weren’t kidding when you said that Agent Miller is a completely different person than Tara Callaghan.”

Carina smiled faintly, “Like I told you, it’s easier for me to catch people off-guard when they only expect Carina Miller the vixen. I just make sure to use a lot of twilight darts.”

“You’re really first-generation?” he wondered.

She nodded, “I had an uncle killed in the Bloody Sunday shootings. It was too much for my parents during the Troubles. They had to leave, so we ended up in Chicago.”

Chuck squeezed her hand back in sympathy. “Now I know why your file says you’ve always fought missions to help the British. I’m sorry about your uncle, Car – Tar –what do I call you now?”

Carina smiled. “Call me Carina for now. That’s how you know me. We’ll go from there. What about the fencing?”

“Oh, yeah, that. Do you remember when you were at Ellie’s wedding reception and my dad came and got me while we were talking?” She nodded. “That night, Bryce – who wasn’t actually dead like everyone thought – was supposed to upload the new Intersect, the 2.0, but my dad, who actually invented the Intersect and had an early version he tried on himself, flashed on one of the agents who took Bryce away and realized that agent was a traitor.”

Chuck paused to sip his coffee, remembering the night everything changed – again. “Sarah, Casey, and I went off to try to save Bryce. We were too late; by the time I got to Bryce, he’d been shot. He gave me an explosive device to destroy the Intersect, saying it was too powerful. As I was about to fry it, I remembered Sarah telling me all these really great things about how I was a hero, and I thought about how I couldn’t let it just be destroyed when I had the chance to use it for good, so I…uploaded the 2.0.”

Carina’s coffee sat on the table, long forgotten as she sat enthralled by his tale. “So what was new about the 2.0 version?”

He smiled. “The 2.0 is the skills upgrade. Somehow, the images were encoded with muscle memory instructions. I can flash on anything from Kung-Fu to other languages. I guess it was intended to help an agent do anything, anytime, anywhere they needed. It was supposed to make regular agents into super-agents, and it ended up in the head of a non-agent nerd. Ironic, huh?” he laughed bitterly.

She couldn’t take that last bit of self-deprecation. The pain in his eyes and voice made her heart ache to reach out and soothe him somehow, so she gently took his mug from him, set it on the coffee table, and, taking his shoulders by both hands, guided him down so that his head was on her lap. Once there, she massaged his temples and stroked her fingers through his soft curly hair. _Oh I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I could get lost in his eyes so easily_. “No, not ironic. Perfect. No agent would have the integrity to do the right thing the way you did. I’m really proud of you, Chuck.”

He smiled sadly before continuing, “It gets worse. Sarah told me she was leaving to go help Bryce with the download after she told me earlier in the day she was going to head up the new Intersect team. My dad removed my old Intersect earlier, so she was done babysitting me. Then, while we were dancing, she started to say something, but never got to finish. Before he died, Bryce told me she wasn’t going to go with him; that she was going to leave the spy life behind for a normal relationship with me.”

Carina softly gasped. Chuck nodded, as well as he could with his head still resting on – very soft and warm, he noticed – her lap. “Yeah. By uploading it, I threw away a chance at a normal relationship with her. Then they sent me to Prague to train, and you know the rest of that story.”

She had stopped caressing his head and just stared down at him with a mixture of emotions he couldn’t quite decipher. Without warning, a tear formed and dropped from her eye down onto his cheek. Carina sniffed and wiped it off with her thumb before saying, “You are, without a doubt, the best man I know. To take hits like that and still keep trying to do the job…that’s just amazing, Chuck.” Just wiping the tear didn’t seem to be enough, because when she was done speaking, she leaned forward and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his forehead. Where her lips touched his skin still felt warm long after she leaned back.

He smiled again – _I seem to do a lot of that when I’m with her –_ and took one of her hands in his. “Thank you, Carina.”

How long they stayed like that, neither was very certain, but after a while, Carina started yawning and made her exit to go get some sleep. Shortly after she left there was a knock at his door. His ride to the airport had arrived several hours earlier than he expected.

***

Carina took a sip of whiskey and relaxed into the aromatherapy bubbles. The night had gone extremely well in the end. The mole didn’t get Chuck, he was officially a spy, she got to repay some of her Mexico debt, and he was devastated that Sarah had pushed him into an assassination mission.

Now that he was officially a spy and would presumably be posted elsewhere when his induction was finished, an idea began to take shape in her head. She reached for her phone and called Ellie.

“Hi, Ellie! It’s not too late, is it?”

“Carina! I’ve been frantic all evening! I’ve paced around the house so much Devon’s about to put me on his exercise bike to burn my nervous energy off. What happened tonight?”

She chuckled. “Calm down Ellie. Everything’s fine. Chuck’s alive and unhurt. I’m really sorry I didn’t call you earlier, but we had to talk about what happened.”

Ellie breathed out a huge sigh of relief. “What happened then? Was it just a date?”

Carina smiled grimly. “No, it wasn’t just a date. Walker did just what I thought she would and gave Chuck the final part of his test. She gave him a target for assassination.”

Ellie gasped in horror. “Did he…did he do it? Did my little brother kill someone tonight?”

Making soothing noises, Carina tried to calm her friend down. “He gave the traitor – which is exactly what this man was, a traitor responsible for the deaths of dozens of innocent people – every chance to surrender, but every time the guy tried to either kill your brother or escape.”

“What happened? How did Chuck survive?” Ellie asked timidly.

“He eventually cornered the traitor, but still wasn’t going to pull the trigger. I followed him just to be on the safe side. The scum reached for a hidden pistol that he had, and I couldn’t do it, Ellie. I couldn’t let Chuck die because he was willing to give the traitor his thirty-seventh chance. _I_ did it. _I_ killed the man who was going to shoot Chuck, and you know what? I feel wonderful about saving Chuck’s life!,” she took another sip in triumph before continuing, “and the best part is that Sarah ran up right afterward, and thinks Chuck did it, so officially, Chuck is a real spy. He even got his badge tonight. He’s on his way to Washington for formal induction.”

She could hear Ellie slow her frenetic breathing. “Thank you, Carina! That’s probably the best ending I could have hoped for. He’s alive and he’s going to start this heroic career, but what are you going to do? I assume they’re not going to station my brother permanently somewhere, so where does that leave you?”

Carina smiled to the phone.

***

Back at her hotel room, Sarah ignored Chuck’s call. Shaw was behind her, mumbling platitudes.

“I just didn’t think that he would do it, and now I realize that it’s my fault that he did.”

“Chuck made his own choice. Like the rest of us, he did it to serve his country.” Shaw thought that would be soothing enough, but Sarah was more upset than he’d ever seen her.

“At dinner he said that he wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for me and he was right.”

He paused before giving voice to his secret fear. “Are you still in love with him?”

_Yes, with the memory of who Chuck Bartowski once was._ “No, not anymore.”

After Shaw got the hint and left, she numbly stared at her reflection in her vanity’s mirror. _Hunter Perry wasn’t Charles Carmichael’s real Red Test,_ she thought to herself, _Charles Carmichael’s first kill was Chuck Bartowski, and I gave him the murder weapon._

Los Angeles, the first place she ever truly thought of as home, had turned into a prison. She had to escape. She had to run.

**  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a choice is made and a future charted.

**Chapter 20**

_You're not the same guy I fell for._

***

_“Here’s what I’m offering: Take the week off. Anywhere you want, on us, but afterwards, I expect you back in Washington and ready to assemble your team, is that understood?”_

_“Hang on, um, back up a second? What do you mean by ‘my team’?”_

_“You didn’t think we were going to send you to Rome alone. You’ll have your pick of our top agents. Whoever you want.”_

Chuck mentally replayed his conversation with General Beckman on his flight back to Bob Hope airport. She gave him the ability to put anyone on his team in Rome that he wanted. His current problem was that he wasn’t sure anymore exactly which agent he wanted by his side. _Should I give Sarah one more chance? Is it worth it to put it all out there again for her?_

***

Chuck tried calling Carina to tell her what happened in DC but she wasn’t answering her phone. That was odd, but when he glanced at the calendar, he figured that her leave of absence was up. She was probably on the phone with headquarters figuring out her next career move. As badly as he wanted to talk to Carina, he had one more stop to make first.

He ran down the stairs into Castle. _Ok, there she is. This is our last chance_.

“Hey, um,” he tried to figure out a way to start the conversation.

“You’re back,” she said, voice flat and lacking any emotion.

That wasn’t a good start, but he pressed on. “I’ve been calling you for a couple days now. You know, there’s a lot we need to talk about.”

Sarah still wouldn’t meet his gaze or stop what she was doing to focus. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I’ve been a little…” she trailed off as he interrupted.

“Crazy, yeah, I know. Beckman flew me to DC. I got my badge; it’s official now: I’m an agent.” Chuck was dangerously close to babbling, but two and a half years were riding on this conversation.

“Congratulations. You earned it.” She still refused to put any emotion in her voice. The man sounded like Chuck, but she saw Chuck’s death with her own eyes. He was Carmichael now.

“You know, the CIA, they’re sending me to Italy. You wouldn’t believe the villa they’re putting me up in. I’m supposed to be this rich, young playboy, but who cares about that? The point is, Sarah, I want you to go with me.” _Please. One last chance. One Hail Mary. Don’t deny us again, Sarah._

As much as she wanted to believe that she could go with him and they could find something like they used to have…“Chuck, I can’t.” She tried to sort through dossiers on Ring agents in a vain attempt to sort through her own thoughts at the same time.

Chuck’s heart shook a little at her denial, but he wasn’t done chasing her yet. “No, Beckman said I get to choose my own team, the cream of the crop. That’s you.”

Sarah had to kill this off now before it got any more painful. “I’m going to Washington, ok? And I’m going with Shaw.” There it was. The way she mentioned going off on another partnership with Shaw of all people destroyed a little piece of him. He was flabbergasted that she would just leave like that.

Stunned, he kept pressing, “Wait…wait…wait a minute, wasn’t this the plan? There’s nothing stopping us from being together now. I passed my spy test!”

Finally she looked at him with all the pain in her heart showing in her eyes, “That’s why I can’t be with you, ok? You’re not…you’re not the same guy that I fell for.”

“How? Why? Because I’m an agent now? How am I not the same guy?” _Isn’t this what you wanted? You told me I was a hero, Sarah!_

She slammed the folder down. _He’s not going to give this up unless I shoot it down right here and now. Don’t you get it, Chuck? You were the last good and innocent person in my world, and I helped kill that in you._ “You killed somebody, Chuck! I saw you kill the mole!”

“Sarah, I know what you think you saw on the train tracks, but it’s not that simple. It’s more complicated than that. It’s not what you think, and I need you to believe me.” Chuck tried as hard as he could to hint to her that he didn’t pull the trigger without outright confirming he hadn’t passed his Red Test.

_If only I could, Chuck, but I know what I saw. I can’t put my heart on the line for you to break again. Not after you turned me down in Prague. I’m too afraid Agent Carmichael will break my heart even worse than Chuck Bartowski did._ “I don’t.”

While he was an asset, she always shot down his attempts at dating her by reminding him that handlers weren’t supposed to become emotionally involved with their assets, despite all the evidence that they were, in fact, emotionally connected.

She told him at Ellie’s wedding that he was a hero, wondering what it was going to take for him to believe her. After he uploaded the Intersect 2.0, she tried to get him to run away from his new life, to live on the run, but he wanted more. He wanted to try to have it all with her. She took every possible chance after Prague to punish him for that.

Two and a half years before, she sat on the beach after pointing a gun at him and asked for his trust. He was alone in a strange new world, and she knew that he would need someone he could trust. Now, more than the mention of Shaw’s name, her simple declaration – she couldn’t trust him when he asked for her own trust – was what killed his hope. The last thing he saw of Sarah as Shaw droned on about Rome, leading him to another part of Castle, away from his girlfriend, was her angry glare.

***

Carina wasn’t on the phone with Washington about her leave of absence. She was at Ellie and Devon’s apartment sharing a bottle of wine. As much as she didn’t want to think about things with Chuck right then, going to Ellie’s was a good distraction. There was the odd photo of Chuck around, but on the whole she was able to avoid thinking about him.

The two had settled into a routine – subject to missions and Ellie’s schedule – of having dinner and wine at one of their apartments every week, alternating the location. This week was Ellie’s turn, so Carina sat at the breakfast bar while Ellie practiced her favorite hobby, whipping together a taco casserole and a southwestern vegetable medley at the stove.

After dinner, they moved to the living room with a bottle of wine. Soon, they were laughing and swapping stories – carefully redacted in Carina’s case – about their respective careers.

“…So I caught up to him after everyone was taken care of and your brother had actually dropped this gigantic diamond in a Fed Ex box and sent it back to Washington!” Carina burst out laughing as she finished telling Ellie about the first time she met Chuck.

Ellie laughed even louder than Carina, having long since gotten used to her brother’s involvement in government operations. “Oh my gosh! And did he get in trouble for that?”

Carina shook her head. “I don’t know, probably not. I heard later on that it actually got delivered to his boss while they were in a meeting. Only Chuck would be able to pull that off,” she finished with a small grin.

Ellie sobered quickly and looked at Carina out of the corner of her eye before asking a question that had been on her mind since she knew the redhead was a spy: “Was that before or after he was shot?”

“Before,” Carina said softly after her face flashed a look that the doctor didn’t miss.

“Carina? What’s going on?”

She tried to avoid the question, she really did, but Ellie wasn’t going to allow it. She twisted in her seat to face Carina directly. “Come on, you can talk to me, remember?”

Carina took several deep breaths before saying in a very shy voice, “It was my fault that Chuck got shot.”

Ellie flinched. “You didn’t…?”

Carina looked up sharply. “No! I didn’t shoot him, Ellie!”

The doctor visibly relaxed, but still looked worried. “Sorry. So what happened?”

“Well, I was on this other mission when I heard someone being worked over in another room. I had to try to help the person, so I snuck in, but then I saw that the guy they were beating up was Chuck.”

Ellie blanched. “So what did you do?”

“I got the drop on them and got Chuck out, but I miscounted the number of guys left. When we were on our way out, I went to get the car and the one I missed shot him. Luckily for everyone, it didn’t hit anywhere vital. It was all my fault.” Carina whispered.

Ellie reached out and squeezed one of Carina’s hands. “Oh, honey, that’s not your fault!”

Carina looked unbelievingly up at her friend.

“Seriously! You were in an incredibly intense situation, dealing with circumstances you didn’t expect, and you had an injured friend in danger! No one could think clearly in that kind of trouble.”

Redemption. The guilt Carina carried since that day started easing. Chuck said the same things, but when someone outside those events saw their details and didn’t assign the blame to her, she started believing it might be true. Carina looked at her friend and saw forgiveness and pity, not anger or loathing.

After that, the conversation hit a lull until Ellie took a sip of wine and leaned over, putting her elbows on her knees and gathering herself for what she was about to ask. “I know your memories of that night at the bar are probably fuzzy, but do you remember the first thing you said to me?”

Carina thought back to when she woke up the first morning with God’s own hangover. “I don’t remember saying anything. You were cooking in my kitchen and just shooed me off to take a shower.”

Ellie shook her head. “Not that morning. I meant the night before, at the bar itself.”

“I’m sorry, Ellie. I don’t remember much from that night,” Carina said quietly to her wineglass.

The doctor smiled. “I didn’t think you would. When Devon went back inside, he asked the bartender how much you’d had so he could tell me what to expect, and the bartender just gave him this bottle of whiskey that was almost empty.”

Carina flushed and her eyes fell. “Not my finest hour,” she remarked with a touch of regret.

Ellie leaned forward and put her hand on Carina’s knee. “No, no. I didn’t bring that up to embarrass you. When I rolled you over,” Carina turned even redder but didn’t say anything, “you looked at me and started talking about this guy who loved, and I quote, “that skank who doesn’t even care about him,’.”

As Carina tried to disappear into the couch, Ellie smiled slightly. She moved to the coffee table in front of Carina and waited silently until the redhead looked her in the eye. “I promise you whatever you answer to this question will not leave this room. Carina, do you love my brother?”

Carina looked into the coffee brown eyes, so much like Chuck’s. There was determination there, but compassion and understanding too. It was safe to admit her real feelings to someone else for the first time. She looked down and nodded, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

Ellie took her chin in one hand and looked her in the eye, “So what are you going to do about it?”

Her friend’s face was a mask of confusion, fear, and hope. “What can I do about it? He’s still hung up on Sarah.”

The last thing Carina expected Ellie to do was smile. “Carina, if you really love someone, you never go too far! Chuck is special, you know it and I know it. Ifyou love him, if he’s the one then you don’t stop, you don’t quit, you never go too far! You are a spy, Carina. Start acting like one!”

The beginnings of a smile formed on Carina’s face. “That sounds familiar. What about Sarah?”

Ellie snorted in disgust. “My brother has made his share of mistakes in that relationship, but he’s also taken chances to make it work. She’s spent three years getting his hopes up and then breaking his heart. You and I both know she isn’t going to be brave enough to give it a shot. She’s worse than that whore Jill. At least Jill gave him a clean break and didn’t string him along for years.”

At the mention of Jill’s name, Carina chuckled. “Yeah, about Jill…”

Ellie looked confused. “What’s so funny about Jill?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just…I sort of ran into Jill in Mexico a few months ago.”

“Are you serious? What happened?” Ellie’s eyes grew wide with surprise.

“Well, she was sobbing about what she did to Chuck – again,” Carina paused as Ellie grunted in disgust, “And after I figured out who she was, I got her out of the bar and back to my hotel room. Ellie, Jill was a spy too – a rogue spy for a group trying to take over the government.”

“Jill. Jill Roberts from Stanford is a spy?” Ellie seemed more surprised by Jill being a spy than Jill being a traitorous spy, to Carina’s wry amusement.

“Yeah, so she and I had a little…chat…and she had a little nap, along with a serious black eye the next morning,” Carina grinned sheepishly.

Ellie returned the smile and then hugged her friend. “I knew I liked you for some reason! Don’t you see, then? You’re the only woman who’s stayed in his life – except the Mexico trip and you said he’s not still upset about that. You’re the only one who’s been there for him, even when he didn’t know it. Just keep trying! He’ll come around.”

For the first time, Carina felt real hope. “He’d better. He still owes me a diamond for the one he Fed-Ex’d to DC.” She and Ellie both burst into laughter.

***

Chuck walked down the stairs to Castle planning his next move when he saw them. Sarah and Shaw were kissing passionately, as if that kiss was going to be their last. After they were done, Shaw stepped back and swallowed something so large Chuck wouldn’t have believed it possible to swallow whole. He couldn’t hear what Sarah asked, but he heard Shaw’s response, “It’s how you’ll find me. This will give Beckman the coordinates for the airstrike.” _Airstrike?_

Then Shaw did the strangest thing: he came over, put his hand on Chuck’s shoulder and said the same words Bryce and Sarah’s dad had said long before: “Take care of her, Chuck.” _What the hell?_

Sarah came up to him and tearfully told him that Shaw was walking into a trap. He was sacrificing himself to lead them straight to the Ring.

After Shaw left, Sarah was frantically scanning the computers when Chuck noticed one screen beeping on Shaw’s location. _If I’m not good enough for Sarah, at least I can use the Intersect to give her one last gift and save her boyfriend._

He sealed the airlock door, effectively imprisoning her in Castle so she couldn’t follow.

“Why are you helping him?”

“Because I know how much you care about him,” Chuck replied with a forlorn smile.

He took off after Shaw.

***

During the escape, Chuck dragged Shaw out of the building to see Sarah’s look of joy. _But who is she happier to see?_

He caught the tail end of Sarah’s conversation with Beckman.

“Well Agent Walker, it’s been a highly _memorable_ three years in Burbank. I look forward to working face to face with you in Washington. Have a safe flight.” She cut the feed.

Chuck walked into the room to take one last shot. He had to know how she felt, and what he was about to suggest would make up for Prague.

“Look, I don’t want to pester you, Sarah, or become some, some nuisance that you can’t avoid. I’ve seen Morgan go down that road far too many times to count. And since I’ve already given the fancy, eloquent version of this speech before, I’m just going to be blunt and honest: leave with me. Tonight at 7 o’clock: Union Station; we go to Mexico and after that anywhere that you want. I would, however, like to go and see the Eiffel Tower at some point. Don’t say a word. I don’t want to have to convince you. Just show up and we’ll go. I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s ok.”

After the kiss, he turned and left Castle, having done all he could. It was all Sarah’s choice from here.

***

At 7:15 pm, Chuck was standing in Union Station with a small rolling suitcase next to him and his hands in his pockets when his phone buzzed with an incoming text message. Pulling his phone out, he saw from the ID that it was a text message from Sarah:

**Goodbye, Agent Carmichael.**

***

Back at the apartment, he dropped off his suitcase. Crossing the courtyard, Chuck knocked on Ellie’s door.

When his sister answered, she saw the expression on his face and her heart dropped. “Come on in, Chuck.”

He walked slowly into his sister’s apartment and sat on the couch. “I did everything I could, El. I put it all on the line and I went all out for Sarah,” he pulled out his phone and showed her Sarah’s text message, “and here’s what she said.”

Ellie looked at the screen and gave Chuck a sad smile. “I know this is going to sound cliché, but she wasn’t the one for you, then. She made her choice. It’s going to be tough to live with that, but if anyone can do it, you can.”

Chuck smiled his thanks before Ellie drew him into a big hug. “I know it looks bleak right now, little brother, but I think things will turn around faster than you expect.”

He looked at her in confusion, but she merely smiled and gave him a pat on the back. Ellie watched him walk back to his apartment, and within seconds, she was calling Carina.

***

Carina was on the phone with Washington, negotiating for an extension on her leave of absence. The director was putting up a fight, but Carina wasn’t budging. She finally had hope and she wasn’t going to leave Chuck now. After the latest conversation finished inconclusively, Carina hung up the phone in disgust. As soon as she tossed it on the couch, it started ringing again, but it wasn’t the director calling back. The call was from Ellie Woodcomb.

After Carina disconnected from Ellie’s call, she started to get ready as if preparing for a mission. She chose her attire very carefully, with an eye to what would suit herself, her target, and the location best. Luckily, Ellie had told her where Chuck most likely would be, so Carina lost no time heading down to her car and roaring off into the late afternoon sunshine.

***

Chuck sat on the beach at Malibu. It used to be the beach he shared with Sarah, but long before she came along it was his retreat. The waves were perfect here, rolling in relentlessly with a soothing rhythm that always calmed his thoughts. He spent a lot of time on this beach after getting back from Stanford, thinking about Jill and Bryce. When his relationship with Sarah was on the rocks he came here as well.

Now that his relationship with Sarah was over, he was back, and the waves were working their usual magic. She left with the other guy, just like Jill. Surprisingly though, the pain was nowhere near as intense as he would have guessed. Chuck wasn’t sure if he was more upset at the loss of an opportunity with Sarah or wasting three years chasing someone who, in the end, didn’t want him.

If he concentrated hard enough, he could make the dueling emotions in his head almost appear like a small Bad Chuck on one shoulder and a small Good Chuck on the other.

Bad Chuck was giving voice to one of his deepest fears: that Sarah never cared for him beyond a casual friendship. During his darkest moments in Sarah’s first few months in Burbank, when all hope for a normal life or a normal relationship seemed pointless, there were times when Chuck wondered if everything he thought he knew about Sarah Walker was wrong. He wondered if Graham had given her secret orders to turn the Intersect into a willing participant in the missions, and she pretended to be his friend in order to get him ready.

During their fight against Fulcrum, he thought he saw more of the real girl behind Agent Walker’s mask, but when she was ready to leave with Bryce after Ellie and Devon’s wedding, she gave him the speech about being a hero. _Was that all an act to make sure I uploaded the 2.0?_

If it was, her actions since Prague did nothing to dispel the idea. She vehemently denied his every overt attempt to reconcile, but at the same time she left hints that they might be able to be a real couple if he could only become an official agent. After all, she dated Bryce and Shaw, two official agents themselves. But when he became an agent, she turned completely around and said that by becoming an agent, he lost the guy she fell for. _The guy she fell for._ Was she telling the truth that she fell for him once and lost it, or was that just another ploy to get him to lose the last of his innocence and embrace his agent status?

Good Chuck, however, told him that what he thought about Sarah was real. She did have feelings for him, she did fall for him once, and everything that had happened over the last three years meant something. In the end, she refused to trust him and chose a life with someone else. Somehow that choice offered no comfort.

Thinking about love and Sarah took Chuck’s thoughts back to a plane en route to Paris. _What is love? Love is a choice._ Chuck’s thoughts drifted to the woman who said those words. Ever since he stole a diamond from Carina, she’d become his foundation. He’d known her for three years. During the first year, she was the perfect sounding board for his new life.

Even while she was gone, he couldn’t bring himself to despise her; she left because she thought that it was her fault he was shot. That sucked, but she still made it right by coming back and sticking around.

The third year that he knew Carina was by far the best for their friendship. She saved his life at least a few times, met and befriended his sister, and somehow managed to keep Ellie from freaking out about his dangerous new life. That alone was a miracle, but the friendship that blossomed between Carina and his sister was an unexpected bonus. Carina was much more relaxed around Ellie than Sarah ever was. He laughed as he imagined his sister learning about the spy life from Carina.

_Love is a choice._ He and Sarah had shared some intensely passionate kisses, but their fights were equally as passionate. She had saved his life more times than he could count, and only her interference with Graham and General Beckman kept him out of a bunker. Sarah did nothing but punish him for Prague, and nothing but push him away and deny her feelings before that.

_Love is a choice._ Carina was…everything. She was his friend and confidant. During the diamond mission when he was nothing but a mark to her, she kept him off-balance, hoping to seduce information out of him. After that however, she never purposefully misled him on her feelings for him. She was there whenever he needed her, for whatever he needed, and in return he tried to be the best friend that he could be for her.

_Love is a choice._

***

Chuck was peaceful. Once again, the rolling waves soothed troubled thoughts, helping him put ideas and emotions in their proper places. He sat on the sand, reclining on his hands and looking out at the surf.

Just then, two dark green low-top Converse shoes walked slowly but purposefully into his field of vision. He smiled, knowing only one person who would wear those shoes. Chuck’s eyes followed the smooth legs rising from those shoes. Those legs seemed to go on forever, but eventually there were a pair of denim shorts hugging extremely nice hips. Above the shorts was a dark green tank top snugly encasing some very dangerous curves. Looking up, the first thing he saw was the sun directly behind her head. With her hair blowing in the wind, it looked like her entire head was aflame. In the middle of the fire were two pools of blue, looking at him with an intensity that left his heart pounding.

As Chuck got to his feet, she swept some errant strands of hair behind one of her ears and looked at him uncertainly in the evening breeze. He stood for a moment looking at her before breaking into a huge grin. Her heart leapt at the sight of that smile, and she vowed to herself to make sure he smiled like that as much as possible. She gave him her biggest and brightest smile in return.

He stood there in silence for a minute, which unnerved her slightly. “Chuck…” she trailed off as he took one step forward and leaned in to kiss her. It was a short, chaste kiss, as he tentatively gauged her reaction. He stepped back and saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

She waited a single beat before lunging forward and crushing her lips on his. After a moment of surprise, Chuck eagerly reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her ever closer. Her own arms snaked around his neck and gripped his head, desperate to keep the kiss going.

Finally they broke for air, but stayed close enough to touch foreheads. He noticed his cheeks seemed to be wet, though from her or himself he wasn’t sure. Chuck caught his breath and steadied his vision before asking her, “Earlier on...I realized I hadn't asked you a question; a really important question that I'd like to ask you now if that's okay. Just once for the record...Carina, do you love me?”

She gasped out a half-sob before smiling the brightest, widest smile he had ever seen. In a shy voice, she said, “Yeah, I do. I love you more than you know.”

He returned her smile, “I love you, too.”

***

Sarah and Shaw drove out of Langley headquarters together in his black roadster, but not in the direction Sarah expected. “Daniel, where are you taking us?”

Shaw grimly answered, “To settle an old score.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a friend is rescued and a problem dealt with. Permanently.

**Chapter 21**

_I’m still the same guy._

***

Chuck was having the most delicious dream. Carina was doing the most amazing thing with her tongue, but then something tickled his chin. He woke without opening his eyes, feeling silky, warm skin pressed against him. _So it wasn’t just a dream. Love is a choice and she chose me._ Chuck smiled and slowly traced the tips of his fingers up and down her back and side. Carina rewarded him with a shiver that jiggled all the right places against him. Further tracing confirmed what both delighted and disappointed him: she was wearing clothes. All things considered, that was probably for the best. While they had confessed their love the night before, he wanted their first time together to be slow, tender, and loving, not a frenzy of hormones.

He opened his eyes to see the copper-colored hair that tickled him from a wonderful dream into an even better reality. Carina stretched luxuriously, and purred as she looked up at him. "I haven’t felt that safe all night in a very, very long time. Thank you for keeping the bad dreams away,” she said softly as she punctuated her compliment with a soft, gentle kiss. Her glance fell down to the bullet scar on his shoulder. A single tear fell out of her eye directly on the scar, which she then kissed away.

Chuck leaned forward and captured her lips again. “That wasn’t your fault, and you are never allowed to feel bad about it again. With that kind of stress, only forgetting one guy is amazing. There wasn’t any permanent damage done, so no more guilt, ok?”

She nodded with a shaky breath and kissed him, pulling back to stare into his eyes and run her fingers through his bed head. Just as they were about to go in for a deeper kiss, Chuck’s phone began ringing and Carina started laughing. The phone ringing, itself, wasn’t that funny; it was the ringtone that started her giggles. She had to bury her head in his chest to muffle the sound of her mirth.

“Where did you get that ringtone?” she managed to gasp out.

Chuck had a Cheshire-Cat grin on his face as he brought out his phone, which showed the frowning face of Diane Beckman to the tune of _We Welcome You to Munchkin Land_ from the Wizard of Oz.

“Yes, General?” he asked. Carina was barely able to contain herself.

“Agent Bartowski, we have a time-sensitive mission for you related directly to Agent Walker’s safety. I need you to get to Castle immediately. Since you’re now alone in Los Angeles, I’ve arranged for the DEA to loan us Agent Miller to help you with this mission.”

“Y – yes, ma’am. I’ll get Carina over to Castle right away.” Chuck disconnected the call and looked down at his… _girlfriend? Lover?_ He wasn’t sure exactly what to call her, but at the moment labels weren’t important.

She beat him to the punch and, after kissing him again said, “I know, I know, the Wicked Witch of the East wants us at the Emerald Palace. Let’s go, Dorothy.”

He grinned back at her as they got out of bed, taking the opportunity to ogle her once more. “So does that make you Toto?”

“ _Woof_ ,” she growled playfully as they looked for clothing appropriate for the morning briefing.

***

They stood in front of the monitor in Castle, a respectful distance apart though each wanted to hold the other’s hand.

Beckman got directly to business. “We have an urgent situation. Our forensic team was able to recover this video from the wreckage of the Ring’s bunker. The woman is Agent Eve Shaw. Daniel Shaw’s deceased wife.”

“Well, this is all very touching, General, but what does it have to do with Sarah?” Chuck’s brusque tone was due more to losing time in bed with Carina than to truly cavalier feelings about Sarah’s well-being.

“Keep watching. The data drive the Ring recovered from the mole’s body. We now believe it contained footage of a Red Test conducted on the night of Agent Shaw’s death.”

_Sarah!_ “Sarah! Sarah killed his wife! Did you know?” Carina was stunned that such a vital facet of team composition would have been overlooked.

Beckman’s tone was calm but firm. “I assure you. I had no knowledge that Agent Walker was responsible for Eve Shaw’s death.”

“If Shaw has seen this, if the Ring played him this video…Oh, my God. Oh, my God, General, where is Sarah right now?” Chuck started to panic. Sarah might have chosen someone else, but she was still his friend and she still protected him for years.

“Shaw said they were following up a lead on the Ring Director in Paris,” answered the General with a shake of her head.

“We have to go! Things may not have ended very well between us, but Sarah’s still our friend and an agent of the United States of America, and she’s in danger. Carina and I will be on the next plane to Charles De Gaulle.”

Chuck was insistent, but Carina looked at him thoughtfully. “So, after all the stuff she put you through over the last few months, you’re still going to risk your life over her?”

Beckman looked on as Chuck turned to face Carina. “With as many times as she’s saved my life over the last three years, the least I can do is try.”

The General nodded. “Bravo, Chuck. Shaw said he was setting up a meeting with the Ring Director at this café in central Paris, using Walker as his cover. Good luck, agents,” and she ended the call.

Before Chuck could ask why she seemed reluctant to rush off to Paris to save her friend or awkwardly remind her that he didn’t have leftover feelings for Sarah, Carina leaned in and kissed him tenderly. “Loyalty to your friends, even ones who’ve slipped away, is just one of the reasons I love you.” She was rewarded with his trademark face-splitting grin and an enormous hug before the two went to Castle’s armory and storage rooms to pack what they would need for Paris.

***

After ending the call, General Beckman sat back for a moment and picked up her desk phone. “Vivian? Diane Beckman here…thank you, they’re doing nicely. How’s your husband’s father holding up?...That’s too bad…My condolences…Yes, I’ll be at the ceremony…Listen, I wanted to talk to you about a possible trade…You had the same thought I did…Excellent!”

***

Carina stretched her legs and settled into the spacious first-class seat. Beside her, Chuck had a thoughtful look on his face.

She looked at him and asked, “What is it?”

He winked at her and leaned in for a kiss. “I was just thinking about the last time we flew to Paris.”

After a dubious chuckle, Carina wondered, “What about – being poisoned or the fight in the cargo hold?”

“No, neither of those, actually. I was thinking about what you said to me about love.”

“What about it?” Carina took a sip of water as she waited for his thoughts.

Chuck smiled. “Well, your speech on love really stayed with me after that flight. I think that’s one of the biggest reasons I wasn’t down in the dumps about Sarah leaving. I mean, it did frustrate me that I wasted so much of my life on chasing her, but I wasn’t sad that she left with Shaw. If anything, it just helped really clear my feelings up. You were there for me when I needed someone. You’ve always been there for me, and I hope I’ve been there for you.”

Carina looked down at her lap. “I wasn’t there for you when I ran away to Mexico,” she muttered to herself.

He leaned over and lifted her chin with a finger. “I forgave you for that a long time ago. I know why you thought you had to leave and it’s fine, I promise. Besides, you’re here right now and that’s all that really matters.”

***

“Casey, are you ready to go?” Chuck called over his microphone and heard a grunt of assent over his own earwig in response. “Ok, Carina and I are set up across the street from the café. After the Director leaves, he’s all yours. We’ll handle Shaw.”

Carina took a sip of coffee and shifted position next to her boyfriend. After Chuck stopped talking to Casey, a car pulled up to the curb and Shaw got out alone. He quickly walked around the car, opened the other door, and dragged Sarah out. Something wasn’t right; Sarah wasn’t walking completely under her own power. Shaw almost carried her to the outside table.

Chuck and Carina watched as they sat down at a table with a balding man. They seemed to have an animated conversation, and at one point Shaw handed over a thick folder. “Head’s up, Casey. He just turned over the documents. Something’s wrong with Sarah.” Carina whispered in his ear. “Carina thinks she’s been drugged.”

“Roger that, moron. Keep your eye on Sarah. I have the long-range tranq rifle on the Director.”

“Got it, Casey. The meeting’s over. The Director got up, and they’re just sitting there,” Carina chimed in. As soon as the Director turned the corner, they heard two puffs over their communications. Immediately after that, Casey called for the cleaner team.

Carina and Chuck kept their eyes on Shaw and Sarah. After a moment, Shaw grabbed Sarah’s elbow and hauled her to her feet. He started guiding her toward a nearby bridge.

They sprang into action, cocking their respective pistols. When Shaw got her to the apex of the bridge, he pushed her to the railing to look into the water. They couldn’t hear what was being said, but when Shaw started to lift her, Chuck ran out onto the bridge.

“Stop it, Shaw! Let her go.” Chuck had his pistol pointed at Shaw’s heart.

“Drop your gun, Chuck. None of this is your fault. I haven’t told them your secret yet, but if you don’t walk away, I will kill you.” Shaw’s features were wooden and unmoving.

Chuck cocked his gun and took a step closer. Shaw re-aimed, saying, “I’m warning you!”

“Please! It doesn’t have to be like this!” Chuck said desperately, “This isn’t you, Shaw. You can’t do this!” He lowered his pistol.

Shaw started to lower his own arm when his eyes seemed to lose focus. After a tense moment, he replied grimly, “No, Chuck. I can, you can’t.” Shaw brought his arm up to fire, but Chuck was quicker.

Chuck yanked his gun back up and fired three times, all impacting on Shaw’s chest. Unfortunately, Shaw had prepared for a double-cross by the Ring and was wearing a bulletproof vest. All the impacts did was push him back from the edge of the bridge into the street. As Carina ran to bring Sarah back from the edge of the bridge, she saw what was about to happen before Chuck could.

For the rest of his life, Chuck would swear that the wooden _thunk_ made by the truck which just crested the bridge sounded like someone taking a metal bat to a two-by-four. Before the truck could stop, it hit Shaw center mass with enough force to fling him through the air. Unfortunately, Shaw’s momentum carried him directly into the opening of a sewer that was undergoing daytime maintenance. The weight of his bulletproof vest was too much for him to float, and Special Agent Daniel Shaw, formerly of the CIA and the Ring, sunk to the bottom of a Parisian sewer, never to emerge again.

Carina and Chuck ran to the sewer opening. “Should we make sure he won’t come out of there?” Carina asked as she glanced down into the murk.

Chuck looked at her with an odd expression. “He got run over by a truck and flung into this sewer, wearing fifty pounds of Kevlar. How exactly would he come back from that?”

Shaking her head, Carina took Chuck’s hand as they walked back over to where Sarah lay on the bridge. “You’re right. That sounds more like some lazy TV show than reality.”

***

The next morning, Chuck’s phone beeped insistently, driving them out of a deep sleep. He groggily reached over and fumbled around the nightstand by the hotel’s king-size bed. After a couple attempts, he answered the call, only to hear Beckman’s assistant say, “Agent Carmichael, you have a video conference with the General in half an hour. Please be presentable.” The woman disconnected the call without any farewell.

He dropped the phone with a groan. The movement of the bed combined with his sound of disgust woke Carina, who lifted her head from his shoulder with a sleepy smile and puckered her lips for her morning kiss, which Chuck happily obliged. She stretched, grinning slightly as she felt the pleasant ache of muscles that hadn’t been used in a long time.

As the aches intensified memories of the night before flooded back to her. After they got Sarah safely to the US Embassy, the rush of the successful operation overtook them back at their own hotel room; the evidence of a night of life-affirming passion lay all about them. She turned her head, glancing around the room, looking at socks hanging off the back of chairs, pants strewn haphazardly on the coffee table, and her bra doing lazy circles on the ceiling fan. “You really know how to get a girl’s attention, Agent Bartowski.”

He laughed softly. “When it’s someone I truly love, that’s easy.”

Carina rewarded him with a blinding grin and another passionate kiss. Her tongue was demanding entrance to his mouth, a move he knew would inexorably lead – given their current state of undress – to round…he lost count somewhere last night…but they simply had no time. “Sorry, but we have exactly,” he checked the clock on his phone’s display, “twenty-seven minutes to get ‘presentable’ for a video conference with Beckman.”

Carina grumbled playfully, but smiled and replied, “Fine,” somehow drawing the word out until it sounded ten syllables long.

They managed to make it out of the shower in less than twenty minutes by helping each other…wash up. It was tantalizing and unsatisfying all at once. Chuck reveled in the feeling of her smooth skin made slippery with soap. The clothes she usually wore disguised some of her figure, making it easier to hide weapons, he surmised. Right now, however, his hands were becoming intimately acquainted – again – with those curves, feeling how his wet and soapy fingers traced slippery patterns over soft, supple flesh. She shivered every time he hit a spot on her sides just above her pelvic bone. _Interesting…I’ll have to remember that spot._

For her part, Carina found muscles on Chuck she never would have expected. He showed the world the lanky nerd image, but his agent training had some delicious muscles forming. There was a burgeoning six-pack of abs there in the front, and when he lifted his arms above his head, his biceps bulged out to the sides so much she couldn’t resist pressing up full-length against him and squeezing. All of his reactions to those sensations were priceless.

At the appointed time, they stood in front of Chuck’s laptop when the General’s conference came through. Beckman’s usual sour face looked over her glasses at the two agents standing together on her screen. She launched into her debrief without preamble, “Would either of you two care to explain why a civilian was involved in last night’s rescue operation?”

Chuck raised his right hand with the index finder extended and said, “Ah, General? That was my decision and I…”

Carina cut in, “It was both of our idea, ma’am. We had a two-pronged operation. Casey gave us the flexibility to go after the Ring Director at the same time as Chu-Agent Bartowski and I neutralized Shaw.”

Bartowski stepped forward, “I know it wasn’t protocol, General, but we really needed a third person we could trust, and since we don’t know how deeply the Ring has penetrated…”

The redhead jumped in again, cutting Chuck off mid-sentence, “And Casey was the only one we could trust with this operation and Chuck’s identity on such a short notice.”

Beckman sat in silence watching her agents try to cover for each other. The gestalt between them was amazing, especially since they were never official partners. Truthfully, she wasn’t even that angry about Casey’s presence on the mission. Protocol dictated his dismissal at the very least for his actions with the Laudenol, but if she’d had her way, Casey would have remained on the team with a slap on his wrist.

“I’ve heard enough. I won’t reprimand either of you for involving Colonel Casey on last night’s mission,” Beckman pronounced.

Chuck turned to the monitor with a question written on his face. “ _Colonel_ Casey, General?”

Beckman’s face soured as she said, “Yes, Agent Bartowski. All Colonel Casey wanted in return for the Ring Director was his full reinstatement. He got it, but I have a surprise in store for him. Now, I need the two of you back in Burbank immediately. There will be an Air Force jet waiting for you at Charles De Gaulle,” she instructed as she sorted a stack of papers on her desk.

“Ah, immediately, ma’am? We were kind of hoping for a couple more days in Paris.” Chuck asked with a hopeful tone.

“I’m sorry, Agent Bartowski. The technicians at our Paris station were able to pick up some vital data off Shaw’s Ring communicator. They’re sending it via courier to Castle, where we’ll need you to look it over as soon as possible. We may have a chance to take down the entire Ring if this works.”

Carina took Chuck’s arm and smiled. “Don’t worry, General. I’ll make sure he gets back to California in one piece.”

That actually got a smile out of Beckman – or at least as much of a smile as she ever gave anyone – “I’m sure you will, Agent Miller. Oh, Agent Bartowski, there is one more thing,” two loud knocks sounded through the door, which Carina went to go answer. When she came back in, she was carrying a package about the size of a shoebox.

“For your flight back, you’ve been granted permission to fly on a government jet which will get you back to Bob Hope airport in a little over half the time that flying commercial would take, but there is one condition.”

Chuck gulped as Beckman’s face took on a look of mischief, “Yes, ma’am?”

“Open the box, Chuck,” the tiny general instructed firmly.

He slit the paper open and, upon opening the box, found two red size-14 Converse Chuck Taylors. However, these were different than normal: someone had spent a good amount of time sewing glittering red sequins over the canvas spanning each entire shoe. Carina burst into uproarious laughter at the sight, which only increased Chuck’s confusion. “General?”

Beckman looked at him sternly. “The Air Force personnel on your flight back have been instructed to not allow you on the jet unless you’re wearing those shoes,” by this time Carina was on the floor with tears streaming down her face, “Click your heels on the plane and you can follow the yellow brick road back to Burbank.”

Chuck wouldn’t let it go, though. “How did you know?”

Beckman silently cocked an eyebrow. “Right, right. Sorry,” Chuck apologized.

Beckman ended the conference and Carina stood up slowly, wiping her cheeks. Chuck turned to her with a rueful grin and said, “Shall we head back home, Toto?”

***

Beckman waited until the Air Force jet was over the Atlantic before calling an apartment in Echo Park. Once that call ended satisfactorily, she dispatched teams of agents to the apartment complex. With her orders conveyed, she initiated yet another video conference to Paris.

***

Her entire body ached. The pain all over was the first sensation Sarah recognized as she swam back to consciousness.

The last thing she remembered was Daniel trying to push her over a bridge, and before that, sitting at the café, slowly losing control of her own muscles. _Daniel was with the Ring!_ Just as he was about to push her over, she remembered he stopped and looked around. There was some commotion, but she was too far gone at that point and just slid to the ground.

Just then, a laptop beeped. Sarah sat up in confusion. She was back at her hotel room. _How in the world did I get here?_ She slowly reached over to the nightstand and picked up the beeping computer. When she opened it, Beckman’s frown greeted her.

“Agent Walker, I trust you’re feeling better this morning?”

“I’m alive, ma’am, but I don’t remember much about last night,” Sarah said slowly, running her fingers through her tangled hair.

“That’s to be expected. Shaw slipped you a derivative of our twilight drug. It tranquilized you just enough so that you were awake but without control of your movements. Forgetting the events immediately after he administered the drug is unsurprising,” Beckman explained.

“So, what happened, General? I remember the café, and Shaw talking to the Ring Director, but after that I just have foggy memories of the bridge and someone stopping Shaw, but I never saw their faces, or I don’t remember them,” Sarah was still trying to process the evening.

The General thought for a moment before responding, “A young couple, very much in love, saw Shaw about to throw you into the river and intervened. They were able to get you back to your hotel room based on the ID you were carrying and your room key. Once you were safely in your room, they got the management to send for a doctor to check you out before they left.”

Sarah shook her head slightly, wincing as her headache made itself known again, “Do you have any idea who they were at all? I owe them my life. I’d like to thank them for saving me.”

Beckman frowned, saying “They knew you would want to know their identity, but they specifically told the hotel concierge they wanted to remain anonymous. They mentioned something about random acts of kindness.”

The next question was the hardest. “And what about Da – Shaw?”

The General’s frown grew even deeper. “Special Agent Daniel Shaw turned to the Ring. He was meeting the Director to turn over sensitive documents that would have enabled them to build their own Intersect. We have since taken care of him. He is no longer a threat.”

Sarah looked at the laptop screen with a heavy sigh and asked the General, “Shaw was with the Ring; Chuck’s an Intersect agent, and Casey’s a civilian. So where does that leave me? What do I do now, General?”

***

Back at Castle, Carina was looking over some of the documents Shaw stored in his desk for clues to his Ring contacts while Casey was back in his favorite place: the armory. Chuck found the box from Paris containing Shaw’s Ring phone. The station techs left a note explaining where the sensitive data was, and he lost no time in cracking it open inside the base’s Farraday cage.

He opened the Contacts folder on Shaw’s Ring communicator as per the instructions where he found labels for – among dozens of other Ring agents – the five Ring elders and a calendar marked for the Joint Security Summit in San Diego just over six months from that day. _Shaw was dumb enough to use their real names to identify these people?_

“Holy crap!” Chuck shouted when he saw the information.

Carina came over quickly from the computers. “What? What’s going on?” she asked.

“You’re never going to believe this, Carina…”

Just as he started to explain, the video conference monitor beeped and the General appeared. “I take it you’ve found what the Paris office located?”

Chuck and Carina leapt to their feet and walked to the conference table where Casey joined them still wiping down a pistol. “Yes, General. We have the information we need to nail the leadership of the Ring.”

“As skilled as you are, even with the Intersect, taking down the entire Ring is too big of a job for one agent. For an operation of that size you’ll need a partner at the very least, Chuck,” Beckman looked at Carina and paused as if she was leading up to something else, “probably a full team.”

She pressed a button off-screen and the display split in half, revealing a woman Chuck only knew after he flashed as Vivian Maxwell, Director of the DEA. Carina’s eyes got bigger, but she remained silent as her heart started pounding in her chest.

Director Vivian Maxwell leaned forward and tented her arms on her desk. “General Beckman has kept me informed about your association and involvement with her Los Angeles team, Agent Miller. What concerns me is why my own agent did not report such actions.”

As she tried to explain, Carina paled slightly, “Well, you see, I was in the area on my leave of absence and Chu-Agent Bartowski needed my help and…”

Maxwell cut her off, “There’s no need to explain yourself now, Agent Miller. As I said already, General Beckman has kept me informed. The question before us now is what to do with you.”

Carina started talking, but before she could get out a full sentence, Beckman’s chuckle caught her off-guard. “Oh, put her out of her misery, Vivian.”

Director Maxwell rolled her eyes but smiled slightly. “Diane and I have agreed to a…trade…of sorts. Henceforth, Agent Carina Miller, if you accept, your employment will permanently transfer to the CIA effective immediately.”

Chuck’s eyes got huge. “Do you mean…”

Beckman sighed. “Yes, Agent Bartowski. If you two want, you will be partners in the mission to destroy the Ring.”

Chuck and Carina turned to each other with huge smiles while Casey grunted. After quickly communicating without words, they looked back to the screen and said in unison, “We’ll do it!”

The two directors smiled at their subordinates. “Will you be able to maintain this partnership in the face of everything you will encounter in this mission?” Beckman asked.

Carina nodded and spoke for them both, “Absolutely, General. We’ll be able to handle anything the Ring throws at us, just the way professional partners should.”

Maxwell chuckled and Beckman sighed, “Do you think we’re idiots?”

“Uh, no, Ma’am?” Chuck responded.

“You two have been under observation for some time. It’s become blindingly obvious that your…professional partnership…is just the tip of your relationship. However, this is an extremely unique situation. The protection of the Intersect,” at Chuck’s flinch and raised finger, Beckman nodded, “yes, Agent Bartowski, Director Maxwell is aware of the exact disposition of the Intersect itself. Anyway, the protection of the Intersect is our highest priority.”

“Precisely, Diane,” Maxwell chimed in, “which is why we’ve decided to pair the two of you up. Who better to protect the Intersect than someone with a vested interest in his safety? Who better to protect the Intersect than someone in love with him?”

Carina gaped. “You knew?”

“It was fairly obvious, but were not completely sure until Eleanor Woodcomb confirmed it this evening,” Beckman confirmed.

Chuck took one of his hands and raised it in a question, “You…you spoke to Ellie, General?”

At that precise moment, Castle’s doors flew open and two agents escorted two other people wearing black cloth bags over their heads inside and down to the conference table. Chuck’s mouth dropped open. He’d seen the same clothes before. As the bags were drawn off their heads, Ellie and Devon’s confused faces looked around Castle.

“Yes, Agent Bartowski. I spoke extensively to your sister. Just now I mentioned you would need a team to support you. Meet the rest of your team. Eleanor’s neurological training will help us understand how the Intersect works, and Devon’s cardiothoracic surgical skills will be used in case one of you gets wounded.” Beckman paused to allow the four team members to take in the situation.

“Dr. Woodcomb – ah, Eleanor – affirmed to us that the two of you have been in love for some time and only recently admitted that to each other. With the departure of Agent Walker,” Ellie’s face blanched when she heard Sarah confirmed as an agent, “it would seem this partnership will be ideal. Thank you, Vivian. We’ll handle it from here, and I’ll get you the name of the agent I’m sending over by the morning.”

“Thank you, General. Good evening all, and good luck in your fight.” Maxwell blinked off, leaving only Beckman’s face on the monitor.

“Now, I believe the five of you have some things to discuss. You have one week to come to terms with the new team dynamic, and then we’ll talk about where your new team will be based. Los Angeles may be too well-known to the Ring for continued use.” Beckman reached forward and disconnected the video conference without a farewell, as usual.

The five people sitting around the conference table were left to stare at each other and wonder what would happen next. Ellie finally broke the silence with eager eyes, asking, “So are you two together for real?”

Carina goggled. “You’ve been brought to a secret CIA base, and your first question is if he and I are dating for real?”

Chuck laughed. “Yeah, that’s her first question. The rest is just details.”

After looking to Chuck for his confirmation that Ellie really had focused on the dating issue first, Carina sighed and turned back to Ellie, “Yes, we’re together and we’ve already said we love each other too.” Ellie squealed and ran around the table, giving them each hugs in turn. Devon just grinned and said, “Awesome job, bro.”

When she was done squeezing them almost to asphyxiation, Ellie went back to her chair and folded her hands, almost vibrating in excitement. “Now, what was this Intersect thing the General mentioned?”

Chuck shared a glance with Carina and Casey before smiling at his sister. “Well, it all started a few years ago. Remember that birthday party you threw for me when you invited all those doctors and nurses for potential dates?”

Carina winked at Ellie. “Good thing none of them ever worked out.”

For her part, Ellie flushed and looked sheepish, but answered, “Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, after the party, I got an email…”

***

Six months later, the reconstituted Team Intersect was riding a string of success against the Ring that had the Elders on the ropes.

It was one week until the Joint Security Summit and Chuck and Carina were making their final plans. It was also the week Chuck was going to repay a debt four years old.

He’d planned the evening meticulously. Carina’s favorite restaurant in the greater Los Angeles area before the team relocated to Chicago was an Irish pub in Santa Monica not far from the beach. He remembered she told him once that it combined the two best things about her world – other than him, of course – the beach and Irish culture.

Chuck reserved a corner booth weeks in advance, as soon as he realized when and where the Ring Elders would be at the Joint Security Summit. Carina was expecting a wonderful night out, but when she saw where Chuck was taking them, she positively glowed. The food was exquisite, the atmosphere perfect, and their conversation flowed without interruption.

As Carina gazed across the table to look in his eyes, she thought about how far her life had come in the year that she’d lived in Los Angeles. She had gone from being completely alone in the world – _‘Can’t let anyone get to know you. Might have to leave them in five minutes or shoot them in the head’_ – to having a lover and a family. Their partnership flourished based on their complete mutual trust. When they went up against Ring thugs, their fighting style was graceful and poised. When they had to infiltrate a party, they were confident and smooth, knowing at a glance what the other’s next move would be.

As Chuck looked across into Carina’s eyes, he too was thinking about the last few years. When Sarah first came into his life, he was adrift, floating through life solely on inertia. Jill had crushed him on top of Bryce’s betrayal, but when he admitted it to himself, the inertia was his fault. He could have rebounded at any time, could have finished his degree at UCLA or any other school, but something kept him back. Sarah’s arrival and her initial pursuit of him were exhilarating, but by the end of their first date he knew it wasn’t real. The next three years were a frustrating roller coaster, always getting close before being shoved back. Carina’s return and their blossoming relationship helped him understand that it wasn’t that he wasn’t good enough for Sarah, she just made a different choice. Carina chose him, and this night he would show Carina that he was choosing her.

After a final after-dinner drink, they made their way to the beach and walked slowly, hand in hand, enjoying the simple pleasure of being together. The two were strolling along when Carina saw something ahead of them she couldn’t explain. It appeared to be something on fire on the otherwise deserted beach. When they got close, Chuck drew her into a passionate kiss, mashing their lips together. As he broke the kiss, her eyes were glazed and she stayed frozen in place.

He took her hands and slowly drew her forward, until she could see the fiery circle was actually a heart-shaped arrangement of candles in the sand. She gasped at the display, in the center of which was a small X scratched in the sand. Chuck drew her into the heart before he turned to face her directly.

“I tried to think of the most eloquent way to say this, Carina, but there really aren’t any words I could put together that would be better than if I just said this from the heart, so I’m just going to say it: you’re the best partner I could have ever asked for, in every sense of the word. You’re the only one I want by my side in a fight, you’re the only one I want by my side when there’s no one else but us, and you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve been grateful every day that you chose me,” Carina drew a sharp breath as he continued, “Starting tonight and for every night from now on, I promise to choose you, too.”

Chuck got down on one knee and took Carina’s hands again. “Carina Miller, Cassandra Williamson, Maria Elena, Tara Callaghan, and whatever name you want me to call you, will you marry me?”

Breathlessly, Carina nodded and managed to gasp out, “Yes! Of course I will, Chuck!”

He smiled and brought the box up, opening it slowly to show her that in the bed of green velvet rested a beautifully crafted white gold engagement ring. The square-cut diamond nestled in between two glittering emeralds. It was elegant, but simple and understated. It was perfect. A single tear rolled down Carina’s cheek as she whispered, “It’s beautiful, Chuck.”

As he slid it on her left ring finger he said with a sly grin, “I hope this makes us even for the diamond I owed you.”

She grabbed his arms and brought him up, mashing her lips on his. “I love you, now and forever, Chuck Bartowski.”

“And I love you, now and forever, Tara Callaghan.” That was their last coherent thought until the nighttime sea breeze blew out the last of the candles.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue. Canon fans won't be thrilled.

**Chapter 22: Epilogue**

_“Carina Miller, will you marry me?”_

_Breathlessly, Carina nodded and managed to gasp out, “Yes! Of course I will, Chuck!”_

***

**October 21, 2011**

Sarah dragged herself into the suburban bar. Three days of relentless searches around the greater Chicago area hadn’t turned up any leads on Chuck’s whereabouts. She fell into a chair facing the back of the bar as she recalled skulking around the neighborhood near the church mentioned in the invitation. Trying to find out where Carina and Chuck were staying in an area where most people probably knew either one or both of them without being caught was more difficult than she imagined.

 

The waitress who materialized at her side – wearing a name tag identifying her as Sam, Sarah noticed with an inward grimace – took her quiet order for a tequila sunrise and slipped off to the bar, returning a few seconds later with the drink. Sarah smiled gratefully before taking a first sip and sighing as the cool alcohol started relaxing her frazzled nerves. The wedding was tomorrow, so if she didn’t find Chuck today, she was going to have to go to the church and… _I really don’t have a plan for after that. Ruining a wedding and losing at the very least my oldest friend is a huge price to pay, but he’s worth it._

Halfway through her glass, she was staring morosely at the table, thinking about what would come next when she heard a voice behind her.

 

“How are the wedding preparations going?” Sarah’s pulse quickened. _That’s the waitress…what was her name…Sam?...asking about someone’s wedding. Can’t be him. I’m too far away from that church._

The next words she heard made her heart skip a beat and her blood run cold. “Oh, they’re going fine, Sam. Tara’s just out with her mom taking care of a few last-minute details.” _It’s him! It’s really him! Wait, Sarah. It’s just like working a mark; learn all you can before you go barging in._

Sam laughed with an ease that made Sarah seethe, tearing her napkin to shreds. “I bet Tara’s a real bridezilla. Has she driven you crazy with every last decision?”

 

Sarah heard a small laugh. “You know, she’s been calmer than I ever expected. The other night when I was wondering how this would all come together, she just looked at me and said that the only thing we actually had to have to be married was the priest in the church with our family and close friends. The rest was just for fun, so she didn’t care how it turned out.”

 

The barmaid whistled. “She’s a keeper, Chuck.”

 

“Don’t I know it, Sam. I’ll just have my usual.”

 

“Coming right up.” After the waitress returned to the table and Sarah heard the clink of a glass, she finished off the last of her own drink. _It’s now or never._

She stood up, sliding her chair back, and turned around. The first thing that struck her was how he looked the same, but different. His hair was still curly, but much shorter. His eyes were still a warm brown, but his face was…older somehow. As relaxed as he looked in what must be his usual watering-hole, he still looked guarded. He’d been working out; that much was clear. Where his body was once lanky and undefined, it was now solid and strong.

 

He wasn’t looking at her but at the tumbler of amber liquid in front of him, so she had to step over to his table and get his attention somehow. Thinking for a moment, she remembered the first thing she ever said to him all those years before at the Nerd Herd desk, “Hope I’m not interrupting.”

 

She knew the exact moment he recognized her, because his eyes grew large and his jaw dropped, “S – Sarah?”

 

“Hi, Chuck,” she said with a shy smile, “It’s good to see you. May I sit down?”

 

She stifled a smile as he nodded wordlessly, still in shock at seeing her. She gathered herself before sitting down across from him, “Thank you. I know I haven’t given you a lot of reasons to do anything for me, so this means a lot.”

 

That drew a smile, albeit a very small one. He took a sip from his drink and looked at her across the table. “How, uh, how are you doing?” Chuck asked hesitantly.

 

“I’m…ok. Work isn’t great right now, which is kind of why I’m here instead of Jakarta with my trusty fork,” she replied, hoping that quoting him would help defuse the tension, “but that’s a long story. I have to admit, Chicago’s the last place I expected to see a California boy. What about you? How’s life? Are Ellie and Devon still doing great? It’s been so long since I’ve seen them – any of you, really.”

 

“I’m ok, too, actually. Ellie and Devon are still going strong, and I have a new job that keeps me really busy these days. I own a software development company now. We relocated to Chicago a couple years ago to be closer to the head office in Washington, but able to be anywhere in the country in just a couple hours.” _He still rambles,_ Sarah thought with an inward smile, _and it’s still as cute as ever._

“We?”

 

“Oh, yeah. Morgan’s my vice president of development, and Casey runs security…and…” Chuck trailed off, looking unsure of his next sentence.

 

“…and?” she prompted.

 

“Well, a mutual friend of ours works as my assistant and public relations director. Carina wanted to leave her old job, and when she heard there was an opening in my new company, she jumped at the chance,” Sarah had to work to conceal her snort, _Yeah, I’ll bet she jumped at you. Lousy skank._

“That’s great, Chuck! It sounds like you’re really conquering the world!” She put as much false warmth into her voice as possible, “I bet the winters were a shock.”

 

He actually laughed at that, “Yeah, the first one was terrible. Casey’s used to the cold, even after LA, and Morgan had his beard to keep him warm, but I didn’t adjust very well. Last year wasn’t so bad.”

 

The conversation stayed on safe ground for a little while longer, but Sarah could tell Chuck kept his guard up, unwilling to give too much away to her. As well as the early part of their talk had gone – he hadn’t told her to leave, after all – Sarah knew why he was so wary of her. The last time they’d seen each other face-to-face was in Castle after she ignored his pleas for her trust. She waved the waitress over for two more of their drinks.

 

After the next round arrived, Chuck shook his head and said something that snapped her out of her reverie. “What are you doing here, Sarah?”

 

“Well, I guess that concludes the small-talk portion of the day,” Sarah replied in a last-ditch attempt to keep the conversation light.

 

“You think? I’m getting married tomorrow, and you show up at my bar out of the blue, and I’m supposed to think it was just a coincidence? What are you doing here?” he repeated.

 

She sighed and leaned forward in her chair. “I’ve never swallowed my pride like this, but I’m here to say I’m sorry for the way I left. When you begged me to trust you and I just let you leave; when you asked me to run with you and I never came; I’m so sorry for all of that, Chuck. Leaving you and going back to D.C. with…well, let’s just say that leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. I was scared to trust you, but it turns out that leaving you just made me realize what I left behind. I’d change it all if I could, but there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t regret what I did. ”

 

Chuck stared at her, his expression unreadable. Sarah felt a cold finger of dread form in her stomach. The wonderful, open, caring man she used to be able to read like a book was now able to hide his every thought from her, and that scared her.

 

“What am I supposed to do with that? I just told you I’m getting _married_ tomorrow, Sarah, but you already knew that, didn’t you? That’s why you’re here.” Hostility increased in his voice with every word he said. She had to stop him before it grew any further.

 

“You don’t know how much leaving you affected me. I haven’t been able to sleep properly in years, and it’s affected my job. It’s the reason I’m even in the country – my last few assignments have been complete disasters, so they yanked me to a desk job in Washington,” she looked down before continuing, “I meant to call you. Every holiday, every birthday, and every time I had a special memory of us, I meant to call you and tell you that I took it all back,” she paused to take a drink.

 

Chuck stared at her in silence for a moment or two before saying, “I don’t know what you expect from me. Those days were a long time ago. I loved you then, but it wasn’t enough for you. It never was.”

 

When he started to get up, she felt a rush of pure desperation at losing her last, best chance and blurted out, “I love you, Chuck. I always have.” When Chuck fell back into his seat with a stunned expression at her outburst, she took it as a hopeful sign and plowed forward. “I just was too stubborn to see it. When you told me you loved me, I got scared. You know my past. I spent my childhood running from con to con whenever the cops got too close. I spent my adulthood running from assignment to assignment and never forming a bond. When you told me you loved me, I just freaked and took the easiest way out. If I could take it all back, I would, but I can’t.”

 

He still sat there wordlessly, so with a thudding heart she took one of his hands and went for broke, “Maybe this is just wishful thinking, maybe I’m grasping at straws, but I can’t take it back, so all I can do is make you a promise: if you give me another chance, I promise you that I’ll do it right this time. I will love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

 

Chuck hadn’t taken his hand back, but neither had he said a word in response to her declarations. “Look, I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but to me this is destiny. I had no idea where to find you, but we met accidentally in this bar. Fate is bringing us back together, Chuck! I see it, don’t you?” She couldn’t know that behind his eyes, her invocation of Fate made Chuck remember something Carina said on a similar topic during a flight to Paris: _love is a choice._

“You don’t really understand, Sarah. For three years, I gave you every chance. I did whatever I could to try to win your heart and show you we could really have something special. A really smart person once told me that real love is a choice; that you have to choose to give your whole self to another person. Believe me, after three years, even a lovesick nerd could tell you made your choice, and it wasn’t me,” Sarah’s face fell as Chuck’s speech continued, but he wasn’t going to be deterred anymore, “and I’m ok with that. It took a while, but I get it. I made a different choice. I’m not even mad at you anymore, Sarah.”

 

She was getting frustrated, but this wasn’t about her anymore. He had to see they were meant to be together, especially after her heartfelt pleading. “I made a mistake, Chuck. I was stupid and scared. I want to choose you now. You and I, we’re meant to be, and you know that. You always did, even when I didn’t. You know how I feel now. I’m so sorry for what I did. I’d change it if I could, but I can’t, so the only thing I can do is promise you I’ll make it up to you if you give me the chance.”

 

Chuck was silent for a moment after her declaration. He took his hand back and gave her a look which broke her heart. His emotions were unreadable. _I made him into this spy. He never used to be able to hide his emotions before he became Carmichael, Charles Carmichael._

 

After a quiet moment, Chuck took a breath and responded, “Thank you for finally telling me how you felt, but it’s too late for us, Sarah. I was never enough for you when we had a chance to make it work, and now that it’s over, I just can’t break the commitments I’ve made because you decided after three years you’re ready to settle for me. Tara and I are getting married tomorrow because we made the choice to love each other a long time ago. We’ve been right by each other’s side ever since, and it’s been the best partnership I could have hoped for, personally or professionally. Love is a choice; I chose Tara, and you made your choice a long time ago,” he checked his watch, “Look, I have to get going. I’m sorry things haven’t worked out for you, but I have another life now. Good luck with your next one, Sarah Walker.”

 

He threw a few bills down on the table and walked out of the bar, never looking back. After a solitary tear fell down Sarah’s cheek at his decision, she set her jaw and her face took on a determined mien. This wasn’t over. _I still have one more day before it’s too late._

***

**October 22, 2011**

Two years after the engagement.

The Ring was no more. Alexei Volkoff’s massive arms empire was in ruins, thanks in part to an unexpected augmentation: his mom was back and on the team. They had learned that she was undercover infiltrating Volkoff’s organization. When he started to get suspicious, she burned all of her contacts and became her cover. With the Intersect, however, he was able to find enough chinks in Volkoff’s armor for the man to send his mother out to take care of the nuisance. When Mary Bartowski saw who Charles Carmichael really was, she told Volkoff the matter needed more of her personal attention, which led to an all-too-brief family reunion before she had to go back. Ellie started to forgive her parents when she learned the real reasons they left all those years before, and helping her father on the Intersect was a way for them to bond again. Working together, the entire Bartowski family – including soon-to-be-member-Carina – brought Volkoff down.

Finally, Chuck was about to start the most important operation of his life.

The weather forecast was perfect for the mission: a cool, clear day with no problematic clouds or storms to interfere with the team’s actions. The target area had been identified long in advance, allowing extensive reconnaissance to make sure everything went exactly according to plan. Everyone had their part to play. Devon, Ellie, Carina, Stephen, and Mary were all off on their own assignments preparing for the big show.

Chuck was dressed immaculately for the mission with standard black shoes and pants and a matching black jacket over his spotless shirt and black tie. His cufflinks – wired with a microphone and a GPS tracker just in case – completed his ensemble. His team was waiting outside the room for his signal. At the appointed time, he emerged and looked over his guys. After confirming with his second-in-command that he had the requisite gear they would need to complete the mission objective, he nodded and led off. The team followed him down a dark hallway, moving quietly to stay out of sight. On his command, they split off down a long passage to reach their assigned waiting area. Chuck turned through a doorway, ducked behind some cover, and emerged ready to begin his mission. One of his men looked at him from their position, and he gave a nod that the operation could begin.

_Showtime!_

***

Carina looked around the small room she used to get ready for the most important mission of her life. Her team was all around her, helping her prepare for this day. Her attire was painstakingly chosen for maximum effect on her target. Female agents often had to dress to accentuate their assets to distract a mark, but today she put more effort into dressing for a specific effect than ever before. Ellie and Mary – one never a field agent and one retired – were putting the final touches on her appearance. She had the usual pre-mission butterflies, but these were bigger than any she had ever felt.

Noticing her nerves, Mary took her hands and looked her in the eye, saying in a soothing voice, “Relax, Carina. Remember what today is. Remember what your objective is. Remember who’s waiting for you. Everything is going to go perfect.”

She took a deep breath and nodded, smiling her thanks at the older woman. Carina looked around, and saw everyone waiting on her. She stood up, smoothing out her dress, and smiled to the whole room, “Ok, everyone: let’s do this!”

Her team preceded her out the door, checking for any signs of trouble; they had to make sure Carina made it to her first objective without being seen. She watched as, one by one, they found their partners and started off. Finally, it was her turn.

_Showtime!_

***

John Casey stood in the back corner of the church, looking on as people filed in and filled up the pews. The air was heavy with incense and the aftereffect of burned candles, while the early-afternoon sun filtered in through the windows. Of all the places he would have guessed Carina – he would never get used to calling her Tara, no matter how much her mother insisted – would have gotten married, her home parish church was at the very bottom of the list. He had to admit, though, that she grew up in a beautiful church. It was big enough to keep muffled the whispered conversations of the incoming wedding guests, but not overwhelming with its size. From the elevated pulpit to the stained glass and replica of the Pietà, this church was stunning.

The last wedding he’d attended had been another Bartowski affair, when Ellie married Devon. He grunted at the memory, having been much more involved in the success of the second try at that ceremony than he would ever willingly admit. Casey shifted his balance and watched from his position in the corner as a brunette woman slipped in and sat in one of the far back pews without removing her sunglasses. He nodded to one of the agents detailed for security and watched as the man walked over to identify the woman. When she turned to greet the agent, he saw her in profile and grunted. _Are you crazy, Walker? What the hell – heck – are you doing here?_ With an audible sigh, he walked toward his former partner. The other agent saw him coming and returned to his post. Walker turned to face the front of the church and so never saw Casey until he sat next to her, blocking her quick exit.

“Figures you’d sit on the bride’s side, Walker,” he greeted.

“Are you here to scare me off, Casey?” she challenged in a flat voice.

He actually laughed. “Nah. It doesn’t matter to me. What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I have to talk to him. The wedding hasn’t started yet, Casey. Please tell him I need to talk to him!” Sarah hated how her voice reflected her desperation.

Casey grunted. “You burned that bridge a long time ago, when you started your Ice Queen routine after Prague, and take those da -darn sunglasses off. You’re in a church!” He looked around, making sure no one heard his outburst.

After Sarah slowly removed her sunglasses, he grunted again. _Brown contact lenses, and that stupid wig; she really went all-out to make sure no one would recognize her._

“You still haven’t really answered my question: what are you doing here? Why do you need to talk to him?”

“My life has been a disaster since Paris. I need to apologize for what happened, Casey. I need to beg him to forgive me and show him that he’s supposed to be with me, not with some skank he hopped right into bed with after I left,” she hissed, keeping her voice low so no one would look at the commotion in the back and identify her.

He stared at her. “You never knew, did you?”

A cold ball of fear formed in Sarah’s stomach. “I never knew what? What didn’t I know?”

Casey’s mouth formed a grim smile before finally telling her. “They’ve been friends for years, Walker, ever since the diamond mission. She was in LA the whole time after Prague until you ran off.”

Sarah paled. “You can’t be serious. He would have told me and…”

Casey interjected, determined to end the emotional moment as soon as possible. “He told me a lot of this at the bachelor party. While a bunch of his friends were drinking themselves stupider, he and I had a long chat about our time in LA.”

She stared incredulously at her former partner. “You had a long talk with him? When we were partners you acted like small talk was worse than when he yanked your tooth out!”

Another grunt. “Yeah, well, I’ve changed. I helped get the Ring Director in Paris, and Beckman reinstated me. Anyway, Bartowski told me that Carina slipped her number into his phone when they were on their way to the hotel to rescue you with the diamond, and after everything calmed down he remembered you lying about Larkin and you being bed-buddies. Bartowski told me he didn’t have anyone else he could talk to about the being involved with spies, so when he found Carina’s number, he contacted her.”

“So that whole time we worked together they were talking?” That ball of fear in Sarah’s stomach was growing by the second.

“Well, not the whole time. She was the one who rescued him after he got shot, but got it in her head that it was her fault, so she went to the DEA requesting a long-term op. When we really started fighting Fulcrum, Carina was in Mexico taking down their drug money sources. That was that extra DEA support job Beckman gave Chuck that we weren’t allowed to know about.” Casey paused to let that sink in.

“Wait,” Sarah was getting confused, “She ran off, but he took her back? Why wouldn’t he do the same for me?”

“She never doubted him, just herself. He told me about that too. Carina may have run off, but while she was in Mexico something happened that changed her. She came back to LA with one goal: fixing things with Chuck. She actually did try to help you and him deal with your own issues after Prague. Remember that video clip she gave you?” Sarah nodded for him to continue, “But you just kept pushing him away. First you date Shaw, which was bad enough, but then you tell that pathetic excuse for a human being your real name. Never understood why you did that. Anyway, you have Bartowski and Carina to thank for even being here,” when he saw her puzzlement, he grunted and continued, “they were the ones who saved you in Paris.”

Sarah ducked her head in shame. She never forgot the horror she felt when she saw Chuck’s face as he – pretending to be Rafe Gruber – revealed that he heard her give that to Shaw. Just then some of Casey’s words hit her. “Chuck and Carina saved me?”

“Yeah, while I took care of the Director. Beckman was some kind of pissed that those two brought me along, but having the Ring Director as a bargaining chip got me reinstated,” Casey chuckled as he remembered Beckman’s face, “She got me back for it though. After a few weeks, I got ‘promoted’ to some admin position overseeing Team Bartowski, and I’m not allowed to go out into the field anymore. I just make sure Chuck’s flashing as he should be and keep him up-to-date with his training.”

Sarah wasn’t listening. Casey’s earlier words had triggered a memory. “Beckman never told me who saved me. She said the couple who showed up and chased Shaw off wanted to be anonymous. She said they were in love, but I didn’t think anything of that at the time.”

“Well, she wasn’t lying,” Casey grunted, “Anyway, Walker, the way he tells it, the last straw was when you didn’t believe him about his Red Test. You know how Bartowski is: trust and loyalty are everything. When you said you didn’t trust him and ran off with Shaw, that was it,” Casey stopped again, obviously growing uncomfortable with such a long recitation of…feelings.

She shook her head, trying to find some shred of hope in the downward spiral. “I still don’t get it. I leave, he’s devastated, so he just hops into bed with her? I’m gone, so he decides he loves Carina?”

Casey sighed. _She’s really going to make me go through it all, isn’t she?_ “Well, yes and no. The way he saw it, you had a choice: run off with Shaw, who you’d only known for a few months, or stay and take your chances with him, building on three years of fighting for each other. When you made your choice, he made his. Carina was there when he needed her. She wanted him to be happy, no matter who he was with. In the end, that was enough for him. Of course, it helped that Ellie and Carina have become like sisters. ”

Sarah blinked, but kept her gaze on Casey as a sudden thought dawned on her. _The thumb drive had a note saying ‘sucker’_. “You sent me the invitation and video,” she accused.

He grunted, but grinned. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why?”

“I’m not really sure. You gutted him in Burbank for no good reason, so I just thought you should know he found his happiness. Get out of here, Walker. No good can come of you trying to break this up. I’ve never seen two people happier than they are. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to line up to escort one of the bridesmaids.” With a final, dismissive grunt, Casey stood up and walked back to the assembly area.

Sarah sat and stared at her hands, unwilling to look around the church. The ball of fear which started with Casey’s retelling of the Chuck and Carina story was growing unabated. _They’ve really been friends for that long? He never returned my message. What if he really loves her? What if I can’t stop this wedding?_ She gazed down at hands scarred from dozens of fights. The irony of having a job that required confrontations compared with a personal life spent almost entirely running from them wasn’t lost on her.

Doubts swirled in her mind, creating a jumble of confused emotions. She came to the church with every intention of throwing herself on Chuck’s mercy – again – and stopping the wedding however possible. Chuck always wanted them to be together, so when she begged his forgiveness – again – and told him she was back to stay, he would have no choice but to leave Carina and come back to her. She wasn’t so sure about that after the unanswered call and Casey’s talk. Even if she found Chuck now, the wedding started in – she checked her watch – less than ten minutes. _It’s too late to stop the wedding before it starts. I’ll just go to the reception and talk to him there; they can always get an annulment, right?_

She checked the program someone thoughtfully placed in the pew. Morgan was the best man, Devon and Casey were groomsmen, and Ellie was a bridesmaid. Sarah assumed the matron of honor was Carina’s sister. Just before she could read the rest of the wedding party, the organist started playing a hymn Sarah didn’t recognize. The church was almost full, and although the bride’s side was considerably more crowded than the groom’s, the ushers were guiding guests to both sides now, she saw. After a few more minutes, she saw the priest emerge from the back, followed shortly by the groom himself _._

***

Chuck found his spot just in front of the altar and after smiling at the priest, he nodded to Morgan in the back of the church. Morgan signaled the organist, who started playing Bach’s _Ave Maria._ When the music started, Chuck rubbed his sweaty palms on his tuxedo pants, willing his jumpy stomach to calm down. When Carina’s little cousin Brigid walked out of the vestibule carrying her basket of white flower petals, he grinned. Barely five, the girl’s red hair and blue eyes reminded him of some childhood pictures of Carina he’d seen at her parents’ house. Beside her was Sean, the ring bearer and another child of a different cousin of Carina’s.

After the two children had taken their seats with their respective parents, Morgan and Carina’s older sister Mary emerged arm in arm. His oldest friend looked nervous, but when he saw Alex smiling back at him he relaxed. At the halfway point, his eyes found Chuck’s and both men smiled. Morgan had come a long way from the kid who used to be afraid of girls to the man who dated Casey’s daughter and lived to tell about it.

***

Sarah sighed sadly as Morgan stood next to Chuck. As much as she missed Chuck over the years, seeing the two of them together brought back fond memories of some of their cuter nerdy moments. The matron of honor with whom he processed wore a beautiful dark green dress, matching Morgan’s dark green vest.

When she saw who was next, she ducked her head slightly and hid behind the program. Disguise or not, she didn’t want to risk Ellie’s wrath if the doctor saw her. When the couple was safely up the aisle, Sarah peeked out again and watched their progress. Devon was still in as good of physical shape as ever, but the surprise came when they turned to part ways at the altar. She hadn’t seen Ellie from the side as they walked up the aisle, but when they turned at the altar, she could see that Ellie was roundly pregnant – at least six months along by the looks of the bump protruding from her own dark green dress, which was differently styled than the first bridesmaid’s – and Sarah’s heart broke a little more. In Burbank she tried so hard to gain Ellie’s approval, even though her relationship with Chuck was a fake for the most part. In her deepest heart, she always imagined helping Ellie shop for clothes and other assorted baby items when the time came. _Another important part of their lives that I missed._

***

After his sister and Devon – who had become a figurative brother even more than a brother-in-law – took their places, the last of the attendants started up. Casey didn’t prove nearly as hard to convince to be a groomsman as Chuck thought he would. As they walked up the aisle, Chuck mused that perhaps the guy was still grateful for Chuck and Carina helping him get reinstated by capturing the Ring Director. For all his verbal abuse, he always thought Casey regarded him as something of an annoying younger brother, to be helped through life with encouragement as much as insults, so he wouldn’t get overconfident.

The woman next to Casey walked with the easy grace and confidence of a seasoned field agent. Zondra Balducci was Old-World Italian from New York, from a family which may or may not have been part of the New York Mafia. She had left those ties behind, becoming an agent straight out of NYU before vaulting directly into the CAT Squad with Carina and Sarah and Amy. When Carina reached out to the two remaining members – everyone agreed asking Sarah to be one of her bridesmaids would have been an epic mistake – they got together for a night of reminiscing. Chuck came home early from his new cover job, and seeing the group, flashed on Amy. Carina had long learned to recognize the signs of a flash, so before anyone else could react, Amy was on the floor with Carina’s shoe on her neck. Chuck grinned, recalling the look of stunned humor on Zondra’s face when Carina, in the midst of zip-tying Amy, looked up at her and asked, “So, uh, be my bridesmaid?”

No one saw the brunette woman in the last pew drop her program when she saw the last bridesmaid. _What is Carina thinking having that traitor in her wedding? Wait, Carina, Zondra, but no Amy?_ Sarah closed her mouth and sat back in dismay. If Carina had Zondra standing up with her but not Amy, the likeliest reason was that Amy was the traitor in the CAT Squad, not Zondra. She shook her head sadly. _So many years wasted and another friendship lost because I believed the worst in someone._

With all the attendants in place, Sarah looked at Chuck again. She saw him glance at her, and with hope barely flickering, she offered a forlorn smile and a small wave. His reaction crushed her once and for all.

***

Carina moved into the aisle and took her father’s arm. She was dimly aware of the crowd looking at her from both sides and had to fight down a momentary frisson of anxiety. Agent Carina Miller learned early in her career of the value in anonymity. A field agent needed the ability to blend in and remain unnoticed. However, Agent Miller wasn’t invited to this wedding; Tara Callaghan was the center of attention and felt all the butterflies she was afraid of before the Mass started.

Then something strange happened. As she looked straight up the aisle toward the man waiting for her, the assembled people who caused her panic seemed to melt away. Carina locked eyes on the man who held her heart and couldn’t see anything or anyone else. Chuck’s widest smile graced his face; an expression that she knew mirrored her own. As she focused on the warm, inviting eyes of her soon-to-be-husband, her pounding heart calmed, replaced with an overwhelming serenity.

***

When all the attendants had taken their places, Chuck let his eyes roam around the church. He saw his parents, happier together than he ever remembered. He saw Carina’s family, with whom he got along extremely well. Finally, his gaze rested on a brunette woman in the back corner of the church. Something about her looked familiar, but initially he couldn’t tell how he may have known her. Then she gave a sad smile and a little wave, and that’s when it clicked. _Didn’t she get my answer at the bar? What is she doing here?_ He was about to frown, but in front of so many people that would have been a bad move, so he merely shook his head slightly in return.

Just then, the assembled guests rose as one and the organist began playing another Bach piece, _Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring._ It was a shame, really, that they had spent so much time and effort selecting wedding music and decorating the church, because as soon as his eyes landed on his soon-to-be-wife, the only thing Chuck could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, and the only thing he could see was the exquisite beauty of the angel walking up to meet him. He could neither see people looking at his look of disbelief nor hear the slight snickers at how far his mouth fell open.

The first thing he noticed was the way her hair complemented her face. Carina’s teeth gleamed white as she smiled mischievously up the aisle at him. Loose strands of coppery hair bracketed her face, and the complicated arrangement of coils on top of her head made her neck seem much more delicate and swanlike than he had ever seen before. The indirect sunlight streaming in through the stained-glass windows somehow made the blue of her eyes glow brighter.

His gaze swept down as she stepped up the aisle. Rather than going with the popular strapless style, Carina’s dress had wide lace straps going over her shoulders, drawing attention to her chest without flaunting her assets. From there, the dress flared over her hips down to the floor with what looked like a light layer of lace wrapped around the dress. The lace had crystals that caught the various lights in the church, making the already shining white sparkle with each step.

About three-quarters of the way up the aisle, Carina’s eyes swept down his own tuxedo before alighting on the matching black Converse Chuck Taylor shoes he and all his groomsmen wore. She put her hand to her mouth to cover a laugh before dropping him a wink as she lowered her arm carrying the bouquet and hitched up her dress just enough to reveal that she was wearing pure white Chuck Taylors.

Chuck’s face split into an ear-to-ear grin. Neither had discussed their choice of footwear with the other, saying only that they knew exactly what they wanted to wear. Independently, they had made the same choice. _Yup. This is perfect._

***

Sarah ducked slightly in case her former friend looked around, but Carina moved forward with her eyes fixed on the altar. Her step was sure and unwavering, and on her face was a smile Sarah had never seen from her friend. Carina used to smile all the time after missions, on nights out, or when fending off amorous advances, but for the first time Sarah could remember, her friend looked genuinely happy. The smile dimpled her cheeks and made her eyes sparkle. As Sarah watched, Carina broke her trance as her eyes roved down and saw something that made her reach up to her mouth to stifle a laugh. She turned to see what caused Carina’s mirth and noticed for the first time that Chuck, Morgan, Devon, and Casey all wore matching black chucks.

Glancing back at his face, Sarah saw Chuck staring down the aisle with the same fixed expression of awe. After Carina saw his shoes and had to stifle her laugh, she hitched up her dress slightly, but it was enough for Chuck to see something that made him smile the Bartowski grin that made her heart race so many times. For the first time she saw her special smile directed at another woman – Jill didn’t count – and, after the way he reacted after recognizing who she was, that broke her. Chuck truly had moved on. She really had wasted all her chances with him. Sarah reached into her purse for a tissue, grateful that the tendency of wedding guests to cry gave her a cover to hide the real emotion behind her tears.

***

As she moved up the aisle toward Chuck, Carina flashed back to her life before Burbank, _where a yawn could yawn_ , she laughed to herself. When she met Chuck he was a frightened asset new to the dangers of the spy world. Every step marked another conversation they had after she slipped him her phone number – not on a card or on a napkin like a normal girl – in his phone without his knowledge. At first she approached him like a mark, which was easy, because she hadn’t even learned his last name while tracking the Nadan-i-Noor. As she got to know him and he helped her straighten out her mess at work, she thought of him less as a mark and more as an actual friend, a rare commodity for her.

As she passed the midpoint, Carina stayed locked on Chuck’s eyes. During her darkest days in Mexico, she realized how much she missed the simple pleasure of just talking to him. She left him once she was sure he would live after her carelessness got him shot, but as she approached her fiancé, she knew that running to Mexico was really running away from her old self. While successful, the operation brought her no peace. Seeing a source killed in front of her followed by Alex’s betrayal in Cabo shook her ever-present self-confidence to its core. Carina Miller began doubting herself so much that the moment she pistol-whipped Jill Roberts in Tijuana, Tara Callaghan took over for good.

With her gaze never wavering from his, Carina was almost to the altar when she thought about the months before they got together. She was essentially hiding out in Los Angeles, on leave from the DEA while she reassessed her life. Seeing Chuck again helped her find some semblance of balance, but just when she realized her feelings for him ran deeper than friendship, she also saw how much he cared for Sarah. Carina wanted to see him happy, so she decided being his friend and seeing him happy with someone else was better than nothing at all. Giving Walker the security footage of Chuck professing his love was the reason Ellie Woodcomb found her falling-down drunk on the bar floor that night. That barroom floor was the lowest point of her life. Ellie reached out and helped her start to climb back up, aided by Sarah’s almost-militant indifference to Chuck after Prague. One fateful conversation on a plane to Paris later and here she was, standing at the altar with Chuck, about to be joined to him forever.

***

The priest turned and informed the gathering that, “Before reciting their official vows, the couple would like to stand together in front of their friends and family and profess their love in a personal way.” He waited while Chuck and Carina turned to face each other and then gestured to Carina. “You may begin, Tara.”

Carina smiled at the priest and locked eyes with Chuck. “Before I met you, I was someone else entirely, and I never liked her. Betrayal and deceit were parts of my everyday life, so as a defense mechanism, I behaved in a way that I hated, but it protected me. I thought love was for suckers, but then I met you, and as we got to know each other, you became my rock, my safe haven. You were the first person I’d met in a long time that wanted to know the girl I was inside, and every day I say a prayer of thanks that you came along and showed me that I could really be that girl on the outside again.” Carina paused and took a shaky breath.

“I know I made two huge mistakes with you, but your heart is so wonderful and so loving that you even forgave me for leaving for a year. I will always regret that we lost that time, but when I realized my mistake and came back, you forgave me. Today you’re making me the happiest girl in the world, and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how grateful I am for your forgiveness and your love.”

She squeezed his hands for extra emphasis on the last part, “I never thought I would stand here one day, about to promise the rest of my life to someone as amazing as you. Every day I thank God for the lucky accident that brought us together. Charles Bartowski, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell you how much you’ve changed my life, but from this day forward I pledge to you my love, loyalty, and friendship.”

The priest smiled and gestured for Chuck to respond.

Chuck looked into Carina’s sparkling blue eyes and cleared his throat. “I used to think I was cursed. For years before I met you, my life was a series of one misfortune after another, but now I realize I never would have met you if those things hadn’t happened. Getting kicked out of Stanford and losing my college girlfriend just got me in position at the Buy More. Without those things, I wouldn’t have been there the day you walked in. I know you won’t take credit for this, but you actually saved my life more than you will ever know.”

“I made mistakes of my own, pursuing someone else who didn’t want to be with me at all when you were right there under my nose. I’m just glad I finally looked around and realized how special you really are. Ever since we got together, but even before when we were just friends, you’ve been taking care of me, and I just hope that for the rest of our lives I can take care of you almost as well. Tara Callaghan, from this day forward I pledge to you my love, loyalty, and friendship.”

***

At last it was time for their exchange of vows and rings. Carina and Chuck stood side-by-side facing the priest. After they each declared their presence was free of coercion, promised to honor each other for the rest of their lives, and promised to accept children as they came – Carina’s mind dancing with images of several beautiful young children running around – the priest gestured for them to face each other.

Once the priest asked Chuck if he promised to take Carina as his wife, to be true to her in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of his life, he stared into Carina’s deep blue eyes – which actually appeared to be pools at that point from their watering – and said simply, but with heavy emotion, “I do.”

Turning to Carina, the priest went through the same recitation. When he was done asking her if she would be true to him and honor him all the days of her life, she looked up into Chuck’s own eyes and with a voice wavering with emotion, she responded, “I do.”

Gazing at the gathered family and friends, the priest announced that Chuck and Carina had declared their intentions to marry, prayed for a blessing on their love, and declared, “What God has joined, man may not divide.”

As their wedding bands were brought out to be blessed, Carina smiled as she remembered their search for the perfect rings. They had gone in and out of more than a dozen stores searching for the right rings, but nothing seemed right. All the styles they looked at were either far too gaudy for their tastes or too generic and soulless. As they left the last shop, Chuck got a gleam in his eye. He took her hand and led her to the nearest El station. They rode the train to a different part of town where Chuck guided her to a small jeweler’s and took her inside. There, on the first tray they saw, lay the perfect wedding rings.

After they were blessed, Chuck took the thin white gold Claddagh ring and placed it on her ring finger saying, “Tara Callaghan, please take this ring as a symbol of my love, loyalty, and friendship.” Carina smiled and repeated the action with his much thicker yellow gold Claddagh ring, also saying, “Charles Bartowski, please take this ring as a symbol of my love, loyalty, and friendship.”

Neither Chuck nor Carina noticed the back door of the church swing shut, so focused were they on each other’s gaze.

***

Once it was done, Sarah couldn’t bear to see anymore. She lost all hope earlier, but after the way she left him, she felt she owed it to Chuck to stay until he really was married. Carina used her real name, so the marriage was legal and binding in every sense of the word. She had a halfhearted thought that there was still time to try and make a play for Chuck to get an annulment from the skank, but the sincerity in their faces as they professed their love and recited their marriage vows killed that impulse. ‘ _A young couple, very much in love’ indeed. As much as it hurts, Chuck, I wish you nothing but happiness. I couldn’t ever give you that, so someone else should. Carina, you got the guy I wanted. Take care of him._

Once she got into her Porsche, her emotions finally overwhelmed her and she leaned over, putting her head in her hands, and sobbed desolately. He was gone. It was several minutes before she could gather herself enough to drive away.

***

After the Eucharist was distributed, the priest turned to the wedding guests and said, “It gives me great pleasure to be the first to announce Mr. and Mrs. Charles and Tara Bartowski!” As everyone cheered and clapped, Chuck and Carina gave each other their first kiss as a married couple. They turned to face their gathered family and friends, and as the organist began playing Beethoven’s _Ode to Joy_ – Carina’s one concession to non-Bach hymns – they linked hands and walked down the aisle amidst loud cheers and applause toward their new future.

***

Much later, after the reception was over and the guests had gone back to their homes or hotel rooms, Chuck reclined on the king-sized bed in the honeymoon suite they booked for the night. The next day would see them leaving for a speck of beach somewhere deep in the Pacific, but tonight was just for them. His eyes were closed, feeling the fatigue that followed on a long day of emotional stress. Carina was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, or at least that’s what she told him. He really had no idea what she might be doing.

Carina actually was in the bathroom, staring in the mirror as she checked her appearance over. She was only going to have one wedding night, and she had to look perfect for her new husband. Around her neck lay a glittering Claddagh-shaped pendant Chuck had given her when she told him the story behind the design. He thought it was a perfect love symbol, and the next evening after going out on a mysterious errand, he presented her with the pendant.

Carina chose the rest of her wedding-night attire with care. Rather than the clichéd bridal white, her lingerie – after the frenzied rush to get undressed once the hotel door was safely locked and the ‘do-not-disturb’ sign was firmly in place – was a subtle message. The center panel of the chemise she wore was a dark green satin while the side portions were sheer black lace, while below the garment were garters linked to sheer black stockings. Underneath she wore a matching g-string, which promised to show off even more of her assets. Seeing nothing amiss with her appearance, Carina smiled at herself in the mirror and went out to get the evening started.

Chuck’s eyes popped open, then bulged as wide as they would go as his new wife entered the room wearing a stunning green and black…something. The capacity to form rational thought left as soon as his eyes took in what she wasn’t wearing. . From his vantage point, he could see she wore nothing else beyond a smoldering expression of love mixed with a healthy dose of lust. His eyes grew hungry at the beauty approaching him, eager to devour her.

Carina slowly walked over to the bed, moving like a tigress stalking her prey. Her gaze raked up and down his entire body, admiring the muscles he hid behind his nerd exterior. She slowly got on all fours on the mattress and crawled up his body, trailing silk and kisses the entire length of her journey. When she reached his face, she captured his lips in an intense, passionate kiss that involved more than a little tongue and nibbling.

When Carina pulled back, Chuck’s eyes were glazed over, so it took him a few moments to notice that she was holding something metallic and her face now possessed a mischievous smirk.

He cleared his throat nervously, “Um, sweetheart? Are - are those…handcuffs?”

_Snap!_


End file.
